In retrospect, this story is just… hee. As any pre-insertbookacronymhere is. But I just remember loving the whole idea of this, the mystery and the power that it just exudes of this haughty in-hiding being. I loved it the first time, and it just gives me that spooky feeling of built-up wrath about to be set in motion. Which is the idea, right? >.>
We did not know what a swallow was, but we knew heavenly, and the heavenly part of us died when we took on Deathly. It’s such an… otherworldy “greater knowing” sort of idea. They don’t know the trivial name of a bird, but they know a binary emotion and definition. I just… cannot express how much I love this. Did it actually win? Because it should have. Without even reading someone else’s entry, I know this should have won.
I’m a huge history buff, and this – guh, this - Our best work was the plague, the act that killed hundreds of thousands of people. is just… amazing. I love how you connect it to the real world. I just want to stand at the top of a building and scream FREAKING WRATH!!!!!!!! because it’s just… wow. Igniting something, much?
The connections with Grindlewald and Dumbledore just make me smirk into oblivion. HEE. Like this line - We will destroy him. I just feel like exploding with ironic laughter.
I’m a little confused as to why it says Miss Weasley. And I don’t think it’s because of what we know of the Hallows now, perhaps I’m forgetting the challenge rules? Was I confused the first time? It’s a very powerful sentence, almost as if her life as been prolonged to hear just how damning she’s been. But yes, still a little confused about that one piece.
I feel like spreading this story along. You know those protestors who paint stuff everywhere? I feel like spraying READ THIS, YO!? because it’s just… I adore it. I really do. It’s one of the most snide and powerful things ever. It reminds me of historical fantasy fiction where they have one of those voiceovers at the start of the film – this is what we were, and this is what we are now because of this. I… I need to stop rambling now :D.
Author's Response: oh, wow. Thank you so much for an amazing review! It didn't win, but I'm thrilled you think it should have... thank you SO MUCH for the review.
Awesome first chapter for book 7
Author's Response: glad you liked it- though it's not actually the first chapter for book seven, just a seperate one-shot. Glad you thought it was J.K. Rowling worthy!
I think you did a wonderful job in taking the unexplained bits in the books and expanding on them to create a story. For example, we don't know the Dementor's origins; it is not mentioned in the books. You made use of that and brought in the hallows as the Dementor's creator. That was very clever.
I think your storyline is good and all of it makes complete sense. I think that these few linies in your story were especially good:
We had been named Hallows because we were ‘heavenly swallows’, as the men in long white robes called us. We did not know what a swallow was, but we knew heavenly, and the heavenly part of us died when we took on Deathly.
Your ending, especially, made this a good one-shot.
I just thought that maybe you could have elaborated more on certain things in the story: how the hallows looked like when they were created and how they looked when became the 'Deathly Hallows', that would give a clearer picture. You could also have described how the men in white robes looked.
You have set the cold, dark mood for the story well. I just think it would be even better if you could include descriptions on the war. You could describe it in words like ‘screams of anguish echoed through the streets, pain and terror rode with us to assist us, to weaken, to kill…’. Or something like that. That would set an even darker mood in my opnion.
I also think that Voldemort wouldn't give his plans away so easily to anyone; he likes to operate alone. I think it is a little unlikely for Voldemort to tell the hallows his plans, but that's just me. I’m no expert , so forgive me for the rambling. Overall, I think this is a great story on your view of the Deathly Hallows.
Author's Response: what a great review! I'm glad you liked it. The thing about Voldemort telling the Hallows is that while I agree he wouldn't tell people, the Hallows aren't really people... but that's my opinion. thanks for the review!
If you are indeed talking of Romnas, then they wore togas not robes.
It is very good.
No, Ginny! Aggh! Anyway I almost cried. You're really good.
*stares in aw at computer screen*
Author's Response: I am talking of romans, but since they were wizards I played around a bit. After all, the average brit doesn't wear robes either. =) I'm glad you liked it, though! Thanks for the review!
Dude, this is like 300 times better than my story. I loved the way you portrayed the Hallows. Just the mood that was set made this a chilling read.
Author's Response: thanks so much! I was definetely going for that chilling effect. But I loved your story as well! I think that in this case, honestly, the two are so different in type it's difficult to compare, however. Thanks for the review!