okay, so that was really good, good pace not to fast. personally, im just a little shocked that of all characters to kill off it would be tonks but i have a feeling that it was necessary. so now im probably going to go back and re-read the hogsmeade part of the chapter and try to figure out who is next to die, which i think is going to end up being someone rather important, or so i hope so.
great job! cant wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Ach, you're hoping someone important is next? Odd. Anyway, thank you very much, I appreciate it muchly. As for looking for clues, I'll go ahead and tell ya not to rush it, we got the next two chapters to work through first, and you may not want to look for clues so much after that, I dunno. Maybe. Thanks again, see ya at the next one.
Great story, I have read all your stories as you post them. It seems like you just keep getting better and better with every chapter. And Tonks, even the good ones have to die sometimes. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks, I've noticed I'm getting that getting better all the time compliment more and more frequently, so I'll take that as a good thing. And I'm really sorry but the next chapter, I've already taken a couple of stabs at it, and I can tell you now, it's gonna be a wait, it's very difficult and I think I finally have a first page that I like, but that's just the first out of how many pages? Not the easiest chapter I've ever written. Thank you so much, and I'll see you when I eventually do get it up. thanks.
Hindsight says they would have done better to stage some spectacular display in the middle of town that would draw her attention (anything short of sending up the Dark Mark) rather than run around screaming her name, but that's just hindsight. I think you gave Ron and Harry actions and reactions that that ring true to the desperation they must have been feeling.
1. I'll have to look back at earlier chapters to see if you described Tonks' status. Was she retired as an auror (and only came in to help out with Avada Kerfluffle)? Otherwise wouldn't she have been carrying a communication mirror like Ron, Harry and Kingsley?
2. Can we take this chapter to mean that the NIghtshades didn't want to kill Ron or Harry (yet) at the Cathedral? The clue naming Tonks as the next victim was placed before R&H went to the Cathedral.
3. Who was being watched? It looks like the Nightshades only blew up Tonks when it was clear Ron & Harry were about to warn her. Did the Nightshades trail Tonks ever since they named her as the next target? Or was someone watching R&H and knew they had figured out the pattern?
Author's Response: Wow! Questions, and rather good ones too which are going to result in a very long response on my part. Now I have to say your comments on hindsight and your first question are very much tied together, at least in my way of thinking. Yes, Tonks was an active auror, yes Tonks did have a mirror, and yes, I'm sure Harry and Ron could have come up with some kind of diversion that could have gotten Tonks' attention quicker. But, here's the thing, in the heat of the moment, things are often times forgot, and in a slight way, this is kind of an allusion to Sirius' death, and the end when Harry finds the broken mirror among his things. You get so caught up in what you are doing you forget these things sometime. And I remember thinking of these things as I was writing, and at first I thought to myself, oh no, I'll have to rewrite, and then I calmed down because of course they forget about the mirror, of course, they forget about a million things because right now the only thing that matters is get to Tonks! 2)Now, the answer to this question is implied earlier on in the story in two parts. If you take the scene where we see the pupil and the master, and you take the beginning of the scene with the beast more specifically where he drops two nightshade flowers, what you begin to see is that, the Beast goes to the cathedral with the full intent of killing Harry and Ron, but the Master and the Pupil have bigger plans for the duo. but as we also learn from that scene, or more specifically as the Pupil tells us, the duo must be tested first. So essentially the Beast goes after them to test them, but he himself is not told this so that he doesn't hold back. Ron and Harry have passed that particularly lethal test. and finally 3) This is a very... very... very good question, and unfortunately, one that I cannot answer in the slightest, but trust me, you will learn later on in the story. Thank you so much for reviewing, and I hope I'll see ya for the next chapter!
oh my god.....thats so sad!!....good chapter....you said it was a little rushed...but i think it fitted in nicely with the tone and the anticipation...for some reason Adam looks a little suspicious to me and so does this shopkeeper....well guess ill have to find out!
Author's Response: HA! TRUST NO ONE! IT WAS MY PLAN ALL ALONG!!!!!!! MWUHAHAHA... oh.. right... sorry. Thank you so much, I'm really glad you liked it. One thing that I find interesting about this story is how many leaps of faith I'm being forced to take partly because I'm often writing stuff I've never tried to write before and also because I'm trying to do this whole story without a beta, so it's just me to bounce things off of. So I'm glad that I got this bit right, you know? Thank you so much and I'll definitely see ya next chappie!
I am personally suspect of Tony, great game, totally didn't see it coming. Thought the pace was great, the tempo was perfect. You needed the chapter to have a fast hurried, hairried edge to it and you got it. It was very good. Still like the Ron POV too. You don't find many stories from his pov. Great job.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. Um, if you would like to either confirm or debunk Tony as a suspect, I do talk about him at great length in one of the earlier responses to a review, but I won't revisit it here for two reasons. One, it was a really long discussion and I don't feel like retyping it, and two, I guess that would be something of spoiling the story, and I wouldn't want to do that without your permission...anyway Thank you so much, I'm glad I got the pacing right, and as for Ron's POV, I think this aspect of the story is going to be vitally important next chapter, as you will no doubt see. Thank you very much, and I'll see ya there!
oh...i don't know what to say...either to complain and say that i hate you for killing off tonks, or for telling you how gripping the chapter was....HOW COULD YOU KILL OFF TONKS!!!!!....alright...now that i have that out of my system...good chapter. I didn't find it extremely rushed....the natural precedings of the discovery of the clues had a realisic rushness (if u can say that) to it...i mean, once people suddenly click, they have a mad rush to get all the information...so no, it wasn't too rushed at the beginning...and the realization that tonks could be next wasn't rushed neither...extremely realistic...harry's reaction to the ordeal was right on the dot....but i did find the part when ron, harry and adam are running to the smoke a tad bit of an overkill (sorry!)...but i loved how you demonstrated ron's more caring side while he was conforting the man...but seriously....WHY TONKS!!!....lol!
great chapter! and i'm looking foward to the next one!
Author's Response: Really? You thought the bit when all three were running was overkill? I kind of thought I was doing overkill in the bit when Ron was just searching on his own, in fact I specifically remember thinking, I'm overwriting this bit a little, and all of a sudden I can't remember what the hell I wanted to talk about in response to this... oh yeah! You know this section of the story, this chapter and the last, you know it was one of the more maleable bits of the story early on because as you write something, as some chapters get longer and others get shorter, you can't really know where some chapters will begin or end. I think in one original version in my head, this all takes place at the same time, the investigation of the crime scenes and the solving of the puzzle, but as the writing often does it guided me to a point where this had to be its own chapter. And I bring this up because I had always flirted with the idea that the guys go back into the pensieve to verify clues or find the more difficult ones. But and this is where your comment makes me think of this, I think that would greatly disturb, as you says, the realistic rushness. there would be no way to have them go BACK into scenes we've just seen before, and have that no just kill the rhythm. And well, you know me by now... of course Tonks. I'm sorry, but yeah. It's kinda what I do. Thanks, I'll see ya next chappie.
OK, give yourself a break....this was a super chapter! I loved reading how our boys figured out all of the clues!!
I am sad about Tonks, but can see how this was neccessary for your story. I have to tell you, this story is one of my favorites that I am following right now. You make me think (some days that is a challenge with everything that is going on in my life right now)...but thank you! ;)
Author's Response: I really liked writing out how the clues were solved. You know it's one of those instances in writing where it's been stored up for so long it just spills from your fingertips feeling like some long pent up release after which you feel utterly at ease. Wow. Let that sentence get away from me. No, that bit was kind of fun, and you know one of those deals where I wish I were directing a movie because i could do so much more towards creating that frantic brainstorming scene. So, anyway, I'm glad you liked it and thank you so much, i hope this story continues to be one of your favorites. See ya next chappie
I had absolutely no idea what a bald man did with a comb...I just have to say that this chapter was quite upsetting. Don't get me wrong, it was really good, just upsettign...Tonks!!!! :(
Author's Response: You know, it's interesting, this chapter has gotten a lot of reviews from people such as yourself who don't review often or even at all, and i appreciate that. just something i thought worth mentioning. And yeah, it was meant to be an upsetting chapter, I knew that people wouldn't be happy about Tonks' death, but I did that on purpose. I think you kinda have to be mean to your audience sometimes, you know? Thank you so much.
OH MY GOD!
I am actually crying.
this does NOT happen.
I don't know what you have against yourself, I think this chapter was great. although the ending sucks... I don't like to cry!!
can't wait for the next one.
Author's Response: Aw... I'm sorry. I... well... I mean I hate to be contradictory, but this stuff does happen. What was the line from the last chapter? Bad things happen to good people? Ah well. I am sorry you cried, and you didn't like the ending, but I am glad that you enjoyed the rest of the chapter, thank you so much.
And is there perhaps a clay pot sitting next to Tonks' body?
Author's Response: Um... no... not really, why? I'm worried now, what's up?
oh wow, so shes really gone huh... that was a twist there. i read in a response that tony ahd nothing to do with the death... GRR leaves us so far away from any final answer... but ron and harry are on track so im sure we can count on them to extinguish this madness. Poor Anna and Remus : ( please let her ghost talk to them :D... nah that would be corny. I know you dont like ur own writing, but know that you have faithful readers that love your work and that wont change. Peace, keep them pages rollin'. -H8Snape
Author's Response: Heh, if there is one thing I can't stand worse than my own writing is corny writing, so yeah, I think we're in agreement that we're going to leave Tonks' ghost out of this. Besides, if I remember from Nearly Headless Nick, ghosts come from people who aren't ready to go, and you know, I think in Tonks' context, that might be, well a little bit of a slight on her character. So, yeah, she's going to stay dead, and pretty soon she's going to stay buried. But yeah, you guys really are still quite a ways away from the final answer, keep in mind we're only at chapter eight, and the final answer won't be revealed until chapter 21 or chapter 22 depending on how long this story really goes for, and how much it deviates from my current "plan". And thank you very very much, anymore knowing tha tothers enjoy my stories is what is keeping me going. Thank you so much, and I'll catch ya for the next chapter (which I'm planning to start work on tomorrow night).
Wow, Tonks is gone. I always liked Tonks. I think you accomplished your goal, the pace really added to the panic and made my adrenaline pump as they ran all of Hogsmeade looking for Tonks. What a horrilbe way to die. You were right, the clues were right there. I knew the calander was significant, but I just couldn't associate it with June the person. Very exciting, fabulously written. And I think the author is almost always harder on themselves than their readers are. I'm so sad that Tonks is dead, but I really enjoyed the chaper. Very clever. Now if I could only figure out if you left any more clues here. ;)
Author's Response: Well, thank you very much Gin. I'm glad the pacing worked, yeah, I'm hard on myself, but then, I did worry about the pacing a great deal, and I'm glad I didn't have to apparently. It's funny you mentioned the calendar clue because I kinda thought that was the dead giveaway. But I apparently stumped a few people, so good. I'm glad. So, yeah, Tonks is gone, and I'm really sorry about that folks, but, well, sometimes things like this have to happen. I'm glad you enjoyed, and I'm going to apologize now for it will most likely be a while before I get the next one up. Thank you, and I'll see ya then.
NO no no no no no no no no no no!!! its Tonks!!!! TONKS!! She can't die!! What about Remus?? aww she helped him and now shes gone. I am very very mad. How could you kill her??
My money is on the damn italian guy. He was right there. He must have done it. How else could the flower have got there if no one else was there? All that crying was a ruse. Omigod. I can't believe she's dead. I really liked Tonks. She's one of my favorite characters. And if its the italian guy he must be giving them a clue. Her daughter. He asked what happened to her daughter. I wonder...gosh! I just don't know!! how frusterating!!!!
I liked this chapter though. It was a little rushed but that just adds to the story and whats happeneing. I don't think it would have been as good if it went slower then this. I sometimes feel that the first peice of work is often the best. It has the best idea's, and so on. Anyways, I can understand why you killed her off. But I'm just not happy about it. I'm not. Its Tonks damnit. *deep breath*
I liked this chapter though. Keep up the good work. I promise not to boycott your story. I think maybe a couple of avid Tonks fans might. (sorry) Thank you for updating...I guess. I won't hold a grudge, I wont.
Author's Response: I sure hope they don't. I chose Tonks in part because I like her, and I know a lot of other people like her. Also, thus far in the stories she is just so benevolent and even seemingly innocent and I think she is kind of a symbol of good and vitality and youth when compared to her more dour Auror colleagues. And I think the effect wouldn't be the same if I chose someone else. I wanted this to be painful and personal because that makes the story more important. I suppose I kind of take my cues again from television writer Joss Whedon who is infamous for killing off main characters without warning, and the effect it has is one that is incredible. So I hope Tonks fans don't boycott this story because in a way this chapter and the next are my ways of honoring her, essentially giving a main character a good death, a real death. And, I normally wouldn't do this, but I'm going to debunk one thing that you say because it will give me a reason to talk about the process of writing. Tony had nothing to do with Tonks' murder. I say this because I needed him. At first, all I had intended was a very generic wizard there that Ron would start to question until Harry and Adam uncovered the patch of pink hair which somewhat dramatically revealed that Tonks was indeed the victim. But I, as a writer, needed to be in the scene, I needed to feel the scene, and at the same time I couldn't put myself there through Ron's emotions and reactions, I just couldn't figure out the way without overdoing it. So all of a sudden this generic wizard became my outlet. And I think what makes this effective in my mind is that he saw it, he was right there, and before she died, he was connecting with her, and saw I think the goodness that we all who like Tonks so much see, and so here is this stranger who immediately kind of bonds with her, and then he has to experience this horrific event of watching her die right before his eyes, and so, you know, I think that his reaction leant the scene the gravitas it needed. I gave him an accent because I think in this way the details may be more blurry, but the body language the tone of his voice and the words that he does manage to push out, I think those really crystallize the emotions coming from him and make them much more potent and effective. The thing was, I wanted to get people at least a little choked up, and for that to happen, I needed to get myself choked up as well, I needed to believe it, and Tony did a great job of that. This is also why I focused on their daughters. For me that's a pretty much all clear for the water works as I'm a parent myself, so showing that relationship and showing what was left behind, to me, was just that was the clincher. So I really am not trying to do Tonks a dishonor in the slightest, and I thought about this for a long time, trust me, since probably way back in Epilogues Part 1 I knew that this was going to happen, and I promise to spend much of the next chapter doing her memory honor, and I hope to see everyone, you including you there. It will be entitled, "In Memoria". Thanks FF, I'll see ya there.
Tonks! You killed her! wow...
well, um at least we have more infomation about the Nightshades (you know, the clues and stuff)
Sorry, im all choked up, very full on chapter...Im kinda shaking, lots of suspense! (plus the sandwhich shop got my order wrong and theres bloody onion in my snadwhich! i hate onion!) Anyway, again, well done, the chapter did seem a little rushed (compared to your other chapters) but it was still good, so stop being so hard on yourself *rolls eyes* i hate it when people always bag themselves, especially when they are so good at what they do! Really, you should be happy! your work is great!
See ya next chapter
Author's Response: Hey Sarah. Yeah, I killed Tonks, or more specifically, one of the Nightshades did. I dunno, I write a string of chapters over 8 or 9 thousand words, when I get to a point where all I can squeeze out is five or six thousand I feel like I'm skimping. No, I'm harsh on myself, and always rather self conscious, so I will try and keep the self criticism out of the author notes from now on. I am glad that the speed of the chapter was on point though, I mean, I knew I was doing something highly unpopular and I just wanted to make sure I did it right, you know? Ah, I'm having a hard time responding to reviews because I have things I want to say, but I want to say them in Fever Fudge's response because FF seems to be the most shaken up so far. And, onions can be qute tasty, just not if they're cooked. Thank you Sarah, and I'll see you next chapter.
You are an Evil, evil, evil, evil man! You know what I am talking about. You told me I was at least partially right. I wasn’t anywhere near the right answer. But, you did tell me I had gone way too far overboard. Oh well. Guess I will just have to wait and see how I do on the next one.
The way you laid this out is excellent. And doesn’t seem too far of a reach for Ron to figure it out. Switching places in the last memory was a good thing, even knowing what they needed to find, they automatically went to the same places they were in the first time around. You have given Ron the brain that I think all of us wished he would get.
I really wish you hadn’t done that to Tonks though. I liked Tonks. I know, I know, sometimes the good guys have to die. I will be curious to see what the clue from her scene will be. Funny though, even in the wizarding world, people try to explain things without saying she was hit by a spell, curse, jinx, etc. She just caught fire, which doesn’t explain the huge explosion, but just caught fire. Please tell me you will explain in the next chapter?
Even though I was wrong, I really enjoyed the chapter. It was fast paced, even in the office, and when you get the next one finished, I will definitely be here to read it. Oh, and I still say you are a sick and twisted individual. See you next chapter!
Author's Response: So I'm sick and twisted and evil, oh well, I suppose I'll learn to live with that. Okay, as for the game, see, here's the thing, when you emailed me your last attempt, I was reading through the clues and I remember distinctly thinking to myself, holy crap, she's got it, and then you just shot way the hell off track into something infinitely more complex, and frankly, something I kinda wished I would have thought of myself. Now, Tonks, and I imagine I'll be answering for this, and, well. Okay, She just caught fire was more a lost in translation kinda thing, but we will learn more on that later. But... okay, I'm kinda fumbling here. We aren't going to learn anything new next chapter. Yes I killed off a very popular character, but I also intend to do right by her, and I will say right now that the next chapter will be entitled "In Memoria". So we're going to kind of take this detour that's going to be kinda painful, but also, I think, very necessary. So, thank you very much, and please give me time to write the next one, I think I will be starting on the work later this week.
Even though you didn't like it, I think you acheived the effect you set out for -- very gripping, I read throught it quickly. Awesome chapter; poor Remus and Anna!
Author's Response: Well, thank you. You know, it's just a given that I rarely actually like anything that I write, so *shrug* oh well. I'm glad you liked it, and I'm glad the pacing seemed to work out okay.
“Well,” Adam began to ask with a confused frown on his face. “What use does a bald man have for a comb?”
He wraps a tissue around the comb, and plays it like a harmonica. Duh! EVERYONE knows that!
Author's Response: hehehehe... As you put this in a totally separate review, i'm guessing you actually debated about doing this. Hehehe... Glad you did. Though, who are we to say he didn't use it like MacGuyver to build some sort of home made off the cuff shotgun or something?
Sorry I haven't reviewed in a while. Been a mite...busy. Keep 'em coming, I'm accumlating plot pieces.
So, why did the one guy say that he was the only Nightshade?
Author's Response: IGO! Been a while, though it's cool you were busy. so long as you keep comin' back. Chapter 8's been in the hopper since last week, but I have yet to start work on chapter 9, it's, I'm anticipating, going to be a very difficult chapter to write. As to your question, I think the primary intent was as a declaration that he was the head Nightshade, that without him, the Nightshades would have never existed. Ultimately a very egocentric statement.
Hi Again. I don’t know what else could I say that I haven’t said before. You have that gift in redaction that make us feel like being there, imprint the scenes with the perfect mood, like, back in EII, in the test inside the forbidden forest, the scene was kind of blurred, like if the reader alongside with Ginny could have been attacked by any front, opposite to this scene where the adrenaline fills the ‘target’ in this case Ron and make focus clear the danger, and counting with the perfect training act the way it leads to his survival. This chapter was really great, thanks. I’ve read the next chapter to but I’ll keep my comets at bay for another less gross.. O.K. I understand that was a necessary part of the story.
Author's Response: Not much of a fan of the gore, eh? Hmm... You're not the first, and I will have to remember this. I think in all future chapters that require such bloody scenes, I'll put in a warning. Not that I don't still want yall to read those bits, but at least you will be warned. As for this chapter here that's in question, thank you so much. it was a really really fun thing to write. You know, it's in a way kind of sad though. The Nightshades, as characters, grow and develop in my mind, and ninety nine percent of who they are and what they do will never see the light of day, and as a result I wish you lot could have more time with them. For instance, the Beast, I think would make a great character all by himself, however it just doesn't fit the story at all to dwell so much on them. Really a pity. Ah well. i'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope to catch you for the next one!
Alright, so I’m a little late in reviewing…dumb exams (2 weeks to go!)….so let’s get a crack on it! Personally…compared to the action and suspense in last chapter, this one was a bit disappointing on the action side (wait! I’m not saying it was bad…it was excellent….but not as energetic, action packed, can’t wait to read another line because scared half to death that Ron and Harry will get devoured by a dragon energetic) but I loved how you brought back some of the more…how to say it…human/emotional side of Ron and Hermione’s relationship….you say that One Good Day didn’t get much buzz…personally I really enjoyed the fluff you created between the Harry/Ginny Ron/Hermione couples….there’s not many duo couple fanfics that capture the care-free nature of the kids and portray them as normal, care free (if only for a time) teenagers who are in love with each other, their other half, and life in general…so getting back to my point…I loved how you brought some of that relationship you built in One Good Day into part III….what I am hoping, that even though this is Ron’s turn to shine in part III, that you might bring in some Harry/Ginny relationship…I’d love to hear so more craziness that Ginny has gotten herself into being in the off-season mode!....now I hate to give you the criticism…but the cliffy at the end of the story would have to be the weakest one you’ve written so far….a tad disappointed how that one ended…but to end on a much higher note, I love how you made Ron see the true Adam…I felt that for the first few chapters, that Ron was extremely hard on Adam (which is understandable, considering the circumstances) but how you just made Ron see the true Adam during the “talk”…it (I find) demonstrated Ron’s growth as a character…from a slightly immature teenager he can be in the HP series to a knowable, and to an extent, wise person.
So, I say Bravo and catch you at the next chapter!
P.S.:I do hope this makes up for my…somewhat crappy review last time!
Author's Response: heh... Your reviews are fine, relax. As for the weak cliffie, I can only assume that means that you got it right away, good for you. Others have struggled, and I have to admit that this is very new ground laying out a puzzle and making sure there are enough clues to figure the puzzle out while at the same time, not so many clues that it isn't challenging anymore. If you have no idea at all what I'm talking about by this point, then, um... you probably missed something. No, I didn't expect this chapter to be as action packed as the last, and in some degree, I kind of expected it to be a bit of a break from the heart thumping oh my god a dragon's about to eat us intensity of the previous chapter, while at the same time using the pensieve scenes to maintain that element of persistent danger, and hopefully in the overall scope of the story, this was the right thing to do. Also, as you point out, it gave me a bit of time to get back into the characters again. There were the two scenes you pointed out as well as watching the progression of Billy and Edgar's relationship over the timespan that encompasses the length of the Nightshade case. Bringing in more Harry and Ginny relationship is not something I can easily guarantee though, for one it would be very difficult to force it into the flow of the narrative, and it would also be difficult to force it into the overall tone of the story. I will most likely add a reference or two about Ginny being bored somewhere down the line for comic relief or some such thing, but at the same time, I'm wary of doing so just because the Beast chapter really was a kind of signal that from here things are going to get much darker and stay there. Finally, just to clarify, One Good Day has gotten a decent amount of buzz, and for the longest time, up until I started writing Part II of Epilogues, was easily my biggest earner in the way of reviews. Even now, I think it is only second to Part II in total number of reviews. The lack of buzz has never been something I've had a problem with, it's just that I personally like the story the least, but then that's just me. Anyway, thank you so much, and I'll see ya at the next one.