Reviewer: Igo Retla
Date: 08/01/07 14:51
Chapter: Chapter 12: R.S.V.P.

Don't worry about frequent updates--your life is more important than satisfying us. :)

I always enjoy your writing--and I'll have to stop back later to finish reading this chapter. Best wishes!

Author's Response: I uh... nice um... word choice there. No, seriously, actually "satisfying" you guys is an important part of my life. Tragically, I just can't devote as much time to it as I would like to. Thank you so much, and I can't wait to read your final review for this chapter!

Reviewer: NiGHTS
Date: 07/29/07 17:21
Chapter: Chapter 12: R.S.V.P.

Hiya ... sorry for not reviewing for a while!

I'm glad you included the interaction between Ron and Harry, at the beginning of this chapter. I think that Harry would be more than happy for Ron to be taking the lead but, nevertheless, I couldn't see him keeping quiet for ever if he thought that his best friend was going about his business in a manner that was second best to which Harry knows he is capable of achieving. It isnít easy writing good fiction and fan-fiction has all the additional pressure of your readers already having expectations of the your characters; I donít think many readers appreciate just how difficult it can be to develop characters who have such established personalities but you do, and have, developed them successfully.

Your 'villains' have me very intrigued indeed - I'm finding myself playing over the possibilities and hypothesising about who the Master is, and what his eventual goals might be. I donít do that with any other stories Iím reading on here (and I read a lot).

There are very few stories Ė if any Ė on the site, that approach this one for sheer depth; it is far more like reading a good novel, and I hope you take that for the compliment it is supposed to be! I might be speaking out of turn here, but this particular story seems to have a much tighter plot than your previous (excellent) installments; each chapter has its own distinct style and pace so that, whilst disparate, they are holding together and building very succesfully, with the overarching plot themes emerging and growing as you reveal 'exactly' as much or little as you want to, each time..

As always, keep it up; Iím deriving a lot of enjoyment from this one!


Author's Response: WOW! Hey Nights! Between you and MagicalMaddie, it feels much like a reunion of some of the older readers I ain't heard from in a while, very much appreciated. You know, sometimes when I haven't heard from a reviewer in a long while, it gets me a little down, almost like, "well, I guess I lost them as a reader," so it's always good to hear back. Anyway, on to the review. Yeah, the Ron and Harry spat. You know, looking at it from Harry's point of view, and here's where he was coming from there, while Ron has not overtly said he wanted to replace Kingsley, Harry knows that he wants the job. Harry himself has actually gone to Kingsley a couple of times to try and get Kingsley to put Ron's name up on the lead and failed. So now that Ron actually has the chance to make a name for himself, Harry was very much willing to step aside and let him do what he needed to do. But when Ron let slip he had visited Rathius alone, keep in mind that Harry doesn't have a lot of first hand experience with the Ratbone, but knows enough from their very scarce introductions and from Ginny to know that he's not the kind of guy to mess with especially if he's a suspect. But I didn't want that to seem like the only reason why he lost his temper. He's been watching Ron struggle to cope, and that's fine, he knows the pressures and the troubles, but the downward spiral is not something that Harry could bear to watch his friend go through. Something else that is subtle about this whole scene is the ranking of the Nightshades against the Death Eaters. While the Nightshades were not nearly as public or as prolific in killing as the Death Eaters, I wanted, from their viewpoints to make it clear that Harry and Ron see them as a more significant threat than the Death Eaters. Now when you talk about the extra difficulty of writing fanfiction. You know, I'll agree and disagree with you on that. On one hand, you're right, there are high expectations, but one thing I've learned is that there are plenty of folks out there that have great criticism. One thing I've noticed, and I like to think this is because I've attracted a real good crowd, is that everyone has been very respectful but also willing to dole out constructive criticism which has made me overall more comfortable in writing. I've read the critical reviews people have received on this and other sites, and I think i would put the whole enterprise down if that was what I was receiving, so I consider myself incredibly lucky in that respect. So, it can be hard, but maybe it's just that I've done my time that when I do get criticism, it's usually very well done and doesn't put me off but encourages me to do better. On the other hand, i think it's also easier because creating a character is one thing, and creating an intriguing character is a little more challenging but doable, but really, a lot of the work is done for me by JKR herself. She created all these characters, all I have to do is try to be true to them. And as the timeline has progressed, and i've allowed the stories to develop these characters a certain way, even that has become easier now that they are more fit to my mold. On the other hand, creating an entire cast of intriguing characters along with an intriguing setting and then constructing a plot from that, well, that's a challenge. As for my villains. Well, one thing I get a lot from a lot of readers is questions regarding "Have you read this author" or "have you seen this movie or tv series" which has really gotten me to thinking about my influences, something I havn't really done until recently. Of course I'm influenced though I'm not conscious of it usually. Now for my final author's note for this story, I'll probably go over that (I'll probably do that a/n like I did the final one for part II). But one thing that I've noticed definitely is, of all the places to have an influence from, one of those influences happens to be from the Metal Gear Solid video game series. i remember playing MGS2 first, and you have these really engrossing villains and they all have these really cool backstories and personalities, and i think at least a little that has influenced my creation of the Nightshades. It is like, with the Death Eaters, most of them are anonymous to a degree, with the exception of a few which are very archetypical to the norm, and I wanted to depart from that with my villains. I wanted each and every one to leave an impression, and just like I treat nearly all my extras with that same treatment of making them come to life no matter how small the part, the same goes with my villains. I want nothing to do with unnamed legions and everything to do with single individual characters, each one could probably have a novel written about them, and each one is absolutely spine chilling in their own, personal way (trust me, you've yet to see the worst). Thematically, this may be why I gave them all individual masks, at once a way of identification, but also because their masks become their faces and part of their personalities too. All this, and most of the nightshades actually get a considerably small bit of prose dedicated to them throughout the story. I do take your last major paragraph as a very big compliment. You know, I never understood how some novelists could take as long as they do to write something, but that was because I didn't understand fully the writing process. But I write this story as a secondary hobby now, it takes backseat to my political writing. Still, even if I were to focus much more on this, I'm not sure that would be a good thing, or that I would all of a sudden get these chapters written any faster. My process, I've learned, requires a lot of dead time, and that's for reflection. Okay, here's how it goes. I've already got a very bare bones kind of chapter guide written out that is supposed to tell me what I'm supposed to cover when. So, the actual process begins in the previous chapter. I'm already constructing the basics of a scene in my head as I go through the process of writing the current chapter. Then, when I post, I ignore the entire story until the chapter is approved. After that, I usually let a week go by where I focus on reviews. What's going on in my head though is I'm listening to you guys, your response and how you feel about what I did and what you think is going to happen next. it's like a diagnostic for the story I suppose. Also, around this time I'm reflecting on the chapter I just posted and looking at how much I've diverged from the original script, and therefore looking at how I might have to change my plan of attack for the next chapter. As all of this solidifies, I let it do so to a point where I can finally hone everything down into a set amount of scenes. Like this last chapter, I knew we were going to have the fight, and I knew we were going to get the invitation. Beyond that, i didn't know. Now in finishing writing previous chapters, I realized that one of the things I had planned to cover in the last chapter had already been hinted at to a degree, so I didn't want to cover any more of that regard quite yet, which led me to having to fill things in a bit. Now, in going over my reviews, I remember someone talking about the first scene we see of the Master's inner sanctum, and a couple calls to see more of the Nightshades themselves. And so I decided to have a new scene in the Master's chamber. So I had the fight, the Master's scene, and the invitation. Now that I have those scenes specified, I still don't write, but instead just try to imagine specifics. I try to play those scenes out like movies in my head. Once I've got that down, then I start writing, filling in all the color as I go. In this case, color would be perhaps the way the younger Nightshade spoke in this chapter, or even the creation of Boris, or the visions Ron sees. I write it, then I read through it once to pick up on any glaring grammar errors, and then I post. that's my process. I don't think you are talking out of turn when it comes to describing my previous stories. It's totally fair, and i even realize it. Plus there've been a lot of people who have said the same things in various ways. I don't mind it, and with Part II, even expect it. For one, I think I'm much more experienced now in writing, and one thing that you have to remember is this is the story that I've wanted to tell from the moment I sat down to write Part I. Anyway, thank you ever so much, I'm, as always, humbled by your compliments, and ever grateful.

Reviewer: akb
Date: 07/28/07 20:16
Chapter: Chapter 12: R.S.V.P.

well that was definately interesting!....im glad that you had one of the victims survive instead of dying like the others...it put in a twist....there are a lot of things to consider...the mirror to me seems like a digusting lunatic obsessed with torture or something (i hope thats how you wanted him to be portrayed) ...then theres the master and the letter he is writing .....and then this address which im guessing will lead to the next clue...or maybe the mirror himself?....excellent job...you are keeping me on my toes!
-akb
ps. man... it was hard reading "Borith's" dialogues! ..good one :)

Author's Response: Yes, that did put in a bit of a twist, didn't it? I like to change things up every great once in a while. And, yes, that is exactly how I wanted the mirror guy to be portrayed, however, as I think we'll learn later, there's a little more to that story than meets the eye (I have know idea if I'm just making bad puns on what I know is to come in the future of this story, or making bad puns based on Transformers... I apologize). As for the letter, that was something I wasn't sure if I wanted to do with this story, but I've done it, it's done, I guess I have to live with it, and I have no idea how far out that's going to go as of yet. Luckily I won't have to deal with it next chapter! As for Boris, you know, I'm still not exactly sure why I did that, but then there's much in my writing I'm not exactly sure why I do it that way, it all seems to work out. I think maybe one thing in retrospect is that it lends some absurdity in juxtoposition with a very disturbing scene. Of course, maybe I'm just off my rocker, who knows? Thanks for the review and I'll see ya for the next one where I hope to do more than keep you on your toes!

Reviewer: red haired mom
Date: 07/28/07 18:49
Chapter: Chapter 12: R.S.V.P.

What are friends for, if not to jump down your throat one minute and laugh hysterically with you the next? I agree with Harry though. Ron shouldnít have gone to the Ratbones without at least letting Harry know. I know Ron is actually a really good Auror, but partners shouldnít do that to each other. That it took his best friend to make the point, only underscores how close they are and I donít think anyone else couldíve gotten half as far as Harry without Ron hexing them into oblivion.
Even in a normal Ďfilling in key pointsí conversations, those two finish each others sentences. Is that normal for men? I thought only women did that.
Oh dear, a survivor?
Watch a lot of documentaries on the minds of serial killers? Or are you just sociopathic? Maybe even completely nuts? Either way, I really liked the scene with Master and Pupil. One so controlling and the other so childlike. I am hoping it IS an adult that is a lunatic, and NOT a child. Iím not sure if I could continue to read this if it were a child. That is just so wrong on so many levels, and abusive, on those same levels.
Using straightjackets on the more violent patients, while sometimes necessary, just seems cruel. The patient Ron stopped to watch, very disturbing. Boris, I hope was hard to write, because he was definitely hard to read. Listening to a lisp is not hard to understand, but reading one, I actually had to look at some of the words a few times before I could decipher what they were.
The visions Ron saw as he entered into Vanessaís mind were so disturbing. You have a knack for the descriptive that is unparalleled in fan fiction. I believe in most fiction, save the great horror writers. Knowing she will never be better and thereís nothing he or anyone else can do will probably weigh on Ron the way everything else used to weigh on Harry. As a reader, and having read the earlier part of this chapter, I wasnít surprised to see Ron find an address in the memories of Vanessa. She was after all the invitation.
You thought last time that it was funny when I write a running commentary, but when you have so many things in your chapters that deserve comments, I have to do it that way, or I would wind up writing several reviews, because I had forgotten something each time and had to write another to address it. Any way, I thought this was a very well written chapter, and I absolutely loved the descriptions of the images Ron saw. I hope you write as quickly as you can, but I understand that it takes time. Great job and Iíll see you for the end of the next chapter.


Author's Response: Well, what's funniest is that you'll sometimes ask questions that later get answered in that chapter, and I just think it's interesting. I'm not trying to insult or talk out of turn, indeed, I find it fascinating to read the things going on in the reader's mind as they are reading it and not after they've had time to process and meditate on what they have read. Now, do guys sometimes finish each other's sentences? I suppose, yeah. I don't think that's a gender thing so much as it is a time thing. YOu get to spending so much time around someone and you are able to predict the outcome easier, plus, when you look at the job that Ron and Harry do which relies heavily on deductive reasoning and brainstorming, I think it is reasonable to assume that they've really fine tuned the habit of thinking together. Now I hope I'm not psychotic, nor a sociopath, but I suppose it's not totally impossible, me not having any kind of degree let alone one in psychology. Nor have I studied serial killers overmuch; I may have read a true crime book once or twice, but nothing official. On the other hand, I do find myself academically fascinated by them; they are so widely and fundamentally divergent from the norm. Further, while many novels depict them as evil and mean, the truth surrounding serial killers is far more surreal, and they're motivations and catalysts, so far as we can know them, cover a broad spectrum. But there is a different motivation behind the creation of these characters, so while the actions of the killers may take on the illusion of a deranged serial killer, the driving force behind that is something far different, and I think you'll see that later on. As for whether these are children or not, I cannot say, but you should be pleased to know that we see in the next chapter the Nightshade in question stands head and shoulders with Ron. Heh... Boris. You know, and maybe this won't please you over much, but it was incredibly easy to write him, and I think only two or three times did I catch myself writing an "s" instead of "th". I apologize for the extra work, but with Boris, I just, went with something, like I've said before, I try and give all of my characters so color, something that makes them more than just a plot device and as I started to write Boris, it became clear that this was a disinterested bear of a man with a lisp. No clue why. As for the visions, I'll tell you exactly how I wrote that. I just, mentally, put myself in the same position as Ron, and I took all these scenes and flashed them in my own head and let my fingers go unaccounted for. One thing I noticed was that the individual scenes weren't particularly descriptive, but I think the effect was still as powerful and that's because the way I did it, your imagination fills in the rest, and when you have something going so fast, jumping from one memory to the next, it's like your brain never gets a chance to breathe or come to grips with what it's being shown. Anyway, thank you so much for the review, and I'll see you for the next one!

Reviewer: MagicalMaddie331
Date: 07/28/07 9:56
Chapter: Chapter 12: R.S.V.P.

Poor Vanessa. Sorry for the lack of recent reviews from me, I'll definitely start leaving more. This chapter was quite good, and I'm glad you're still continuing the story. Great job, looking forward to the next.

Author's Response: HEY! How ya been? Glad you could stop by, but trust me when I say it's okay if you don't get around to reviewing for a while. I just appreciate when you do get a chance to read and review! Glad to see you back again, thank you.

Reviewer: Ginzig
Date: 07/28/07 9:35
Chapter: Chapter 12: R.S.V.P.

Poor Vanessa, I think death would be preferable to living her nightmare. It seems so odd that Harry and Ron had an arguement, but I think it was right that Harry called Ron out on his behavior. Ron is a great Auror, he doesn't need to try to be someone else. Looking forward to learning more about the address and the party. I'll be patient though, I know what a pain real life can be.

Author's Response: Yes, I imagine Vanessa would be much better off in dying than living through what she is forced to, and I had even for the slightest moment thought about having Ron kill her as a mercy killing, but I think that is too dark for his character even considering the already dark tone of the story and some of the less than cheery places I've let the character visit to this point. As for the argument, I wanted to do this for two reasons. The first was that I wanted to continue to explore the relationship between these two old friends. Despite them being partners and this story revolving so closely around them, we've had scant few instances of them just confronting each other as friends. So that was one of the purposes I had for that scene. The other purpose was to breakdown the epiphany scene at the end of "In Memoria" further than I've already done. In movies all the time you see this scene where the main character reaches a breaking point, and from that moment on they become this unstoppable force. I had that scene, but I also wanted to show how absurd that is in the context of real life. Just because we take a long look in the mirror and maybe shave off something important, that doesn't change who we are nor the world around us. The challenges don't all of a sudden get easier, nor do we all of a sudden find ourselves significantly more capable of meeting them. So I wanted to show that Ron has not in fact turned into some kind of machine through that episode.As for the party... Well, as you say, you'll learn in due time. Thank you so much.

Reviewer: AnaMolly
Date: 07/20/07 18:29
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

I only just recently stated reading your stories, and for your peace of mind I started since the beginning and worked my way up to this part. I have to say, I didnít really know what I was getting my self into when I started reading them, but Iím really glad I did. You must hear this very often, but you are really a talented writer. Your use of imagery is just spectacular throughout the stories and often times I find myself in a sort of trance. I can clearly see every detail of the descriptions you set to the point that I forget Iím just reading and not actually seeing it. I also think its really wonderful how you can switch gears from writing fluff and romanticism, to gore and horrorÖnot very many authors can achieve something like that and have their stories sound as good as yours. The fact that you also set play lists for some of your chapters is a new thing for me but overall a great idea. Although, since I read fanfiction underÖwell lets just say special circumstances, I find my self unable to put on the songs you advise while reading. But I pride my self in having a good memory (when it comes to songs only) and a great imagination, so if I know the songs you mention I can play them in my head while I read. For this chapter, I found myself at the edge of my seat! And when the chapter ended I was frantically looking for more until I realized that was it, I had reached the end of it. Iím so hooked on this story and I really canít wait to see how it evolves! Great Job!!

Author's Response: Hey, and thank you so much. Well, let's see, how this will evolve. I'll tell you, even I don't know. Aside from being busy, one of the reasons I haven't started on the next chapter yet is because in this chapter, the story got away from me a little, and we covered some stuff that was intended, according to my notes, to play a bigger part in the next chapter. With that thunder stolen, the entire make up of the next few chapters would have to change. But you know, what that really did was allowed me to take a deep look at how I write. Essentially, I know the basic tune, but all the details I don't know. Before I sit down at the keyboard, in my head I have the title, and I have how many scenes will be in the chapter, and essentially what will happen in each scene and how it will end. With the story hijacking itself like it did in the last story, I found that all of a sudden I had so many scenes now unwritable, which would have put me to a certain spot too fast and out of context, so then I had to restructure the chapter. I only just a day or two ago restructured it and put everything in place, so over the next week I intend to fill in all the blanks and get it written. the chapter after that should be hard and long, but fun to write, so we'll see there. As for switching gears, my favorite writers, whether they be for tv or movies or for books, they don't write formula, they don't write genre. They write across teh spectrum, and I like to think that I take a heavy influence from that. It's possible to have a scary story that makes you laugh, and a comedy that makes you cry and roll it all up into a single story, because that's much how like life is, a little from everything. So that's really where I'm coming from. Finally, when you say you didn't know what you were getting into, I had to chuckle because I think I was in the same boat. When I wrote Right Here, I didn't have a clue I'd still be here writing these stories over a year later. But it's funny for another reason too. You read those first two stories, and they don't prepare you, not in the slightest, for their successors, you know? Right Here is kinda angsty and kinda sweet, and OGD is full of so much fluff and sweetness it's liable to give you a tooth ache, and then BAM! Shadows comes along and wrecks it all up to hell. Personally, I LOVE that! anyway, I hope you enjoy DH, and when you're done, I hope you'll come on back and join me through the rest of thiis journey. Thank you.

Reviewer: ImperfectChange
Date: 07/20/07 2:17
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

Grimmrook....I am extremely impressed by the level of intricacy as well as the sophisticated writing style you have written this series in. I have been hooked on this story arc for the past few days and have read the entire thing in the span of less than 48hrs. I am amazed at the detail that you put into your writing and at how well your story parralells that of JKR. I cannot see honestly where her's ends and your's begins. I am being completely honest when I say this...I am looking forward to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows release, it being only 29 hours away, (My store is opening at midnight :( *sniff sniff*) and while I am excitedly awaiting its release so I can tear through it, I am extremely terrified that the story will end by killing Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny or any number of characters off that I have come to love. I am certain though if I thoroughly hate the book I will just cease to veiw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows as reality, and substitute the Epilouges series as such. You have truly expanded on JKR's work, and have created something that is 100% original. It is captivating to read and I cannot wait until the story is through.

Thankyou

Author's Response: Thank you ever so much. You're not the first one to say you've read my stories in a short amount of time, and that always floors me. I take it as a high complement you should know. Most things I read, I take my time and I'm a slow reader, and even the most intriguinging stuff I get bored with and end up having to put it down, so when people tell me they burn through this stuff in close to one sitting or they leave the story up and run errands and come right back and stuff like that, it really makes me feel like I'm doing something right, especially since many of my older readers know that I don't necessarily hold my own work in particularly high regard. I'm even more honored that you are willing to canonize my work if DH doesn't meet your standards, though I think it will. I can't be sure, I still have not even cracked it open yet, haven't even bought it, but I don't foresee JKR dropping the ball this late in the game. As for me, I dunno, I kinda hope that she writes the last book so that these stories can essentially be what I had intended them to be, a replacement for the Epilogue of the final book. Since RH and OGD were written during canon time, I could live without them, but you know I would really like to see the rest of the stories hold strong. Anyway, to get back more to your review, one thing you say is that the story parallels that of JKR. This, is an honor, but also intended to a degree. You make this claim, and also called it 100% original, and there was a definitely conscious effort to create this effect. The earlier stories, the pre Epilogues stories, were definitely written with me attempting to emulate JKR's voice, but when I got to writing Epilogues, I tried very hard to drag my way out of that. In retrospect, I think part of it is chronological; it seemed fitting for the stories to sound like they were told by JKR in the preludes because they occur during the timeline she is writing. As for the later stories, those occur after she is done with the story and I allowed myself to take over. Another part of it I think is just growing. I didn't understand just how uncomfortable with my own writing and my own storytelling I truly was when I first started, but now, after two short stories, two novellas, a completed novel length story, and midway through the second, longer, novel length story, I definitely feel more comfortable in my own skin! I have influences everywhere, yeah, but when I first started I had Jim Dale's voice in my head (the guy who reads the US audiobooks of HP), now I have my own. so there you go. I guess in also making it my own, I had to create a new world with new people in it for you to grow attached to and share with. The Grove, Harry and Ron's office, the new Department of Mysteries, along with Simon Jacobs, Adam, Hucklebee, and of course, I can't ignore the Ratbones! Voldemort's not a big deal anymore; the events of the past have shaped the present, and put the current timeline in context, but people don't shake and shiver at the mention of his name. Ultimately, this was something of a theme or idea the influence of which came from the Lord of the Rings (which I'm not actually very fond of) that being the main conflict of one story (the Hobbit) actually turns out to be minor and a minor detail from that story turns out to be the major conflict of something far more epic. While you are far from seeing what it is I mean, trust me when I say that we are going through this right now with this story. anyway, I think I've rambled long enough, and I got another review to answer, so enjoy DH, and hopefully you'll come right on back when all is over to see this story through to the end!

Reviewer: Igo Retla
Date: 07/19/07 23:12
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

Look at it this way...great minds think alike--and that screenwriter made a MINIMUM of $85K for that screenplay (somehow, I suspect it was much, much more). :D

Have fun writing...and I'll be enjoying DH in 25 hours. *drool*

Author's Response: Ah well. You know, that I think about it, there was something else that kind of struck me. Unless I'm very wrong, Death Eaters have until now been portrayed as wearing skull masks. But if you look very closely, in this movie they all had their own Individual masks... I'm just saying, eh? You know... Enjoy DH

Reviewer: red haired mom
Date: 07/19/07 12:31
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

I wondered if anyone else caught that. I thought it was really great that something I read in a fanfic made it into the movie. I guess your imagination is on par with the screenplay writers. Kudos to you!

Author's Response: Okay, blushing now, stop! Yeah, you know, Igo warned me about it, so I was looking for it, and when I saw it, I had to laugh. I'm still wondering if it's okay for me to feel a little robbed on that too. But you know, people have compared Rathius to Moody in the past before, and I see the similarities from a more external point of view. At a glance, it's almost as though Snape, Voldy, and Moody were all morphed into one character, but knowing him the way I do, that's just not the case. Anyway, I guess I'll put something up about that in the next Author's Note and see how many people actually noticed it! Anyway, thank you, and I'm going to go ahead and apologize to everyone now for how long it will take to get the next chapter up, the last two weeks have been hell and I've yet to really get a chance to start working on it!

Reviewer: Igo Retla
Date: 07/18/07 17:57
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

I hope that you caught it by now...if not, respond after you see the movie. ;)

Author's Response: I did, and laughed by ass off, I just haven't replied because I've been so busy, and didn't want to respond just to you while I got so many other reviews that have gone by the wayside. Needless to say, with as hectic as my schedule has been, I haven't even started on the next chapter (note: I actually saw the Harry Potter movie while at work on a weekend). So yeah, I saw it and you know the first few times I kinda chuckled, but the little scene at the end had me laughing out loud, thankfully the theater was empty! So, my question, is it wrong to feel a little ripped off by that?

Reviewer: Ice Nine IV
Date: 07/18/07 2:21
Chapter: Chapter 9: In Memoria

I'm sitting here tonight, 3 days from DH and trying to have the large amount of self control needed to not pick up the easily attained copies floating around the underbelly of the internet. So I decided to read some good ole Grimmrook seeing that you have updated. I'll see how it goes, I may say something about the previous 2 chapters sometime later.

Anyway, I'll just skip the funeral, though it was good, let's face it, it's not the main attraction here.

I gotta say, that was pretty hot. Maybe too wordy in spots, but that's your style and I really have nothing against it. Have you ever seen the movie "A History of Violence"? Good flick, the title doesn't disappoint. Anyway there's this sex scene in that movie that has got to be the angriest sex scene ever contributed to a major release film. It's passionate though, there's lost there, but it's very intense. So this, reminded me of that. Which, being a big Cronenberg fan that I am, is seriously the best compliment I can give you.



Author's Response: Strangely enough, I'm not having this great urge to read the last book, I guess I'm just so caught up in my own story. I mean, I still want to read it, but I'm not salivating like I thought I would be. Maybe it's also because I know once I have, the story will be over. Heheh, and yes, after all this time, you finally get some action. I never saw that movie, but I think without seeing it and going by your characterization, I think that's what I was going for. I wanted it to be about more than just sex, and one thing that really has aggravated me about a lot of mainstream novels and such is that in thrillers especially or whatever, you'll get to a point where the author seems to almost say, "Okay, we are now at the point where I write the obligatory sex scene" and while they may use nice language, or erotic language, it still feels so mechanical, like, oh, well, this is what we're supposed to do. On the flip side, I had a point to this, one that superceded just tossing a little action to the reader for the sake of it, or even the sex itself, so it allowed me to channel all this other stuff into that act, and in there being all this excess baggage, I think it made the scene more organic and real. thanks for the compliment man!

Reviewer: akb
Date: 07/15/07 23:02
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

wow..that was intense...i didnt really get the part when the Wall said that an ordinary person would be able to find her just in time, so is he say that they arent ordinary? that part was a little confusing...but other than that it was excellent....and it seems that every time i make some sort of prediction...im totally off...so im not even going to try anymore.
but one question how come so many people's first and last names start with the same letter? is that just random or does it have significance...just wondering....well good luck...im waiting in anticipation!
akb

Author's Response: Oh, please do keep predicting, I enjoy it, and you know, I'm never going to say if you are right or wrong, but eventually you might stumble upon the right answer, and won't you feel special when everything comes to a conclusion! Now you got a couple of questions, so let's see. The ordinary bit. The thing is, the Wall designed the maze and the time requirements that a normal wizard would be able to solve it in time. he wanted someone extraordinary, so at the last second he threw a monkey wrench to see if Ron, Harry, and Adam could still overcome, making them extraordinary. Another thing, and I haven't mentioned this before, but you know, he set all these rules at the beginning, I am about seventy-five percent sure that if Ron and Harry had opted to cheat anyway, I think he would have been satisfied. Ordinary people follow rules. As for the thing about names, I just noticed that JKR does that with some wizards in her books, it gives them a more whimsical nature, and I'm TERRIBLE with making up names of characters so one thing I did early on was give wizards names like that, and it just carried over to now. Thank you so much, and see ya for the next one!

Reviewer: Igo Retla
Date: 07/15/07 12:34
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

By the way, congrats, Grimrook. It was nice to see that in OotP Moody stole Rathius' technique--if you've seen it, you'll know what I'm referring to. :D

Author's Response: Gonna go see it in about an hour and a half. God I hope no one is in that theater because if I catch what you mean, I'll probably laugh!

Reviewer: KneazleWeazl
Date: 07/11/07 21:58
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

DON'T MESS WITH ME KYLE!!!! If it was intentional it means you read Dan Brown way too much. You could be messing with my head but I think it's too much of a coincidence. I think it means that this person (as we've obviously gathered) has an extensive knowledge of everything, perhaps things beyond the wizarding world and they've studied ancient muggle chemistry? Or maybe, since nicolas flamel was around i think in the time of galileo and when the church (as it so fondly did back then) put heretics under house arrest, and ALCHEMY which is the word from which chemistry is formed. The person probably is a potions master or alchemist or something. If i had read Epilouges over a shorter period of time than I could probably remember but I can't seem to recall if Snape is alive or not, but he's the only potions master I can think of besides Rathius probably and even though in the back of my mind I still suspect him. And besides Snape in my opinion IS a very advanced wizard, and besides Dumbledore and Voldemort, Snape is the only canon character I can think of who's doing this unless the 'master' is an OC.

But back to the four originally recognized elements. Really, what could it mean? In the last chapter the Nightshade was all like "if you can change my faith" which makes me think that the Nightshades are more a cult than anything, they're like Charles Manson and his 'family' only they're not writing 'PIG' and 'HELTER SKELTER' on the walls with Sharon Tate's blood, they're murdering Aurors with surprising insanity and cruelty. But I really do think these elements mean something about the person behind all this. I'm just not sure what. Right now I just think that it means they're a crazy scientist. If you are reading Dan Brown way too much than that might mean that the Nightshades are sort of like the Illuminati. Except since religion isn't really present here (and the fact that they're targeting ministry people, specifically Aurors) I think that they might have something against 'old institutions' because (especially back in the days of Umbrige and Fudge, although I'm not sure now) the ministry could be called old fashioned or conservative and as most people know, those who reside in the vatican city while wearing a humungous white hat and walking around looking like a bignapkin are also very conservative and old fashioned. So the Illuminati had something against the church, the organization which held incredible power back hundreds of years ago and (in my opinion) unfortunately still does. The ministry is an old institutions which holds stupid amounts of power and sometime too much.

So I'm thinking this person has a grudge against the ministry, specifically Ron and Harry, which even though I believe Snape is innocent (as much as he can be anyways) I can't remember everything I've read from these stories so I can't remember what happened to him or his relationship with HArry and Ron but he had a grudge against them, maybe at first he wanted to be an auror, he'd have the grades for it, but maybe they didn't accept him or something.

I don't know, these are very broad strokes so I'm just pulling mystery bunnies out of my hat.

Author's Response: Just want you to know I'm not ignoring you Charlotte, just waiting until I have enough time to appropriately respond to this!

Author's Response: Okay, Charlotte, I'm sorry if this response is not up to snuff, but I'm gonna try and power through it anyway. i have read Dan Brown, but I'm not a fanatic. Is there something cultish about the Nightshades, yeah, most definitely, but I think there is a twist or two a little ways down the road that might through all that off kilter. Now, with Snape, I will let you know that Snape is not the mastermind. Mainly, considering how integral he is to the canon story line, and that particular issue has not been resolved as of the time of writing this response, nor at the time of writing most of these stories, I have not opted to theorize on its outcome. I mention Snape a little earlier in this story, Ras mentioning that Rath was wrong about him, but essentially, that is to say however Snape does turn out, Rath would have predicted the opposite. The funny thing is, i can neither confirm nor deny any of the stuff that you are saying, but I can say that the Master would smile at much of what you have written. Why he is smiling, I'm not exactly sure, but then, he's just that kinda guy! Thank you so much, Charlotte, and I'm really sorry about the lackluster response and the lateness of the response. I promise to do better in the future!

Reviewer: papakis156
Date: 07/11/07 2:29
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

great writing keep on

Author's Response: Thank you very much, I intend to

Reviewer: Igo Retla
Date: 07/10/07 11:07
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

You know that eventually you're going to have to show us what the solution, what "extraordibary' would have meant.

Hmmm...he didn't mention Disapparating, did he?

And, why did he take all the personal momentos?

Not a bad chapter. Not great, but not bad.

Author's Response: Well, your surmising of the chapter is essentially what I felt. I knew the Wall wasn't the most exciting character, nor the mode of death particularly thrilling, but it was servicable, I felt. Extraordinary, you know, I think I just finished addressing this in a previous response, but to clarify, I think the measure for extraordinary will be those standards set by the Master himself. Now, the Wall didn't mention disapparating, but he did say they would have to navigate the maze. I had actually contemplated including apparition in the litany, but also, there's a rhythm when I address dialogue, there's a natural feel I go for, and I think that disapparating felt a little too... unnaturally exposition like. But the personal momentos, and the house, you know you are the first to address that, and in a very general sense, I did that because I wanted there to be a paradoxical quality of the house, being comfortable and homie, but at the same time I wanted it to be offputting, and this was what I did to do that. But anything more deep, that is going to be up to the reader to digest. I don't intend on clarifying it later, an intentional loose thread. Did the Wall himself actually even take them? If so why? These are questions I think I meant to be left unanswered. Most definitely by my. Thanks for the review man! later.

Reviewer: potterwidow
Date: 07/09/07 9:58
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

well scripted and well paced. You are one sick cookie tp be able to dream up all this death! :) The chapter was well put together and well written. I can't wait for the chapter were either Hermione, Ginny, the kids or a brother is the victim and you are proud of what you wrote! Thats going to be good!!!

Author's Response: I dunno if I am that cruel, but if you think what you have seen is sick, just wait until you see... oh... wait... that would be telling, wouldn't it? heh... sometimes I love this gig! Thank you so much and see ya for the next one!

Reviewer: KneazleWeazl
Date: 07/08/07 16:52
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

Great chapter, a part of me knew what Priscilla's fate was going to be but I still wanted her to live, *frowns* Really sad. Glad Ron and Dennis are okay again, and that Ginny has something to do besides terrorize children with cleaning products. I was formulating a theory about the pattern of the RECENT deaths, so far three of the four original RECOGNIZED elements have been used consecutivel.y Fire, Earth, and Water, next one is air. Just thinking.

Author's Response: HAHAHAHAHA! Well, you would be right, that is an interesting pattern, those recent deaths. But let's say the pattern is intentional? What would they signify? What great revelations will be born from this knowledge? OR... am I just messing with you? MWUHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!

Reviewer: Igo Retla
Date: 07/08/07 1:04
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

By the way--look at the home page. The queue won't be closed very long.

Author's Response: I know, but given various developments in my personal life, it's going to be hard for me to post anything else between now and when the queue shuts down, so I'm just going to wait and see how far I can get until they open it back up!

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