Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/17/07 22:16
Chapter: Chapter 14: Internalizing

Alright, I know I wasn't one of the 2 mentioned but in the last 2 chapter I have guessed that there were 7 Nightshades (I said for deadly sins but also the power of 7) and I also wanted to know why the families weren't targeted. I fell good about myself now. Now this chapter was interesting. Nothin g much in the way of action but oh my the information. I was bothered by the Venessa murder but it was probally for the best. I really liked the information that Rathius had (mostly because I was right) but now I want to know were Ron went. Let me go find out....

Author's Response: heh, yeah, wait... chapter 14, which was chapter fourteen? Ugh, can't remember. Sorry, oh... oh yeah... well, I guess we'll see.

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/17/07 21:23
Chapter: Chapter 13: The Illusion

Wowyou have come up with alot of names for this story, haven't you. My count is 12 dead Aurors and 4 memebers of the nightshades that we know of right. You have certanly been busy. Anyway, I love your stories and I am now wondering why the nightshades aren't attacking Ginny, Hermione and the kids. We will see.

Author's Response: You ask some good questions, and unfortunately, some of them I can't answer, like why aren't the Nightshades going after the family? Can't answer that, but yeah, I created a lot of names, and I tried to give as many of them as possible their own personality, their own character instead of having a bunch of paper dolls standing in. That's just me, anyway, thank you so much!

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/16/07 16:48
Chapter: Chapter 12: R.S.V.P.

Okay, I really liked this chapter. It was good and I was glad to see more of the nightshades. I have a new theory. There are 6 disciples and the master (hehe 7.... magically powerful, cough). They all represent something too, the seven deadly sins. The way you have described the Beast, Wall, and Mirror lead me to this conclusion (Also I am a big Full Metal Alchemist fan). I am hoping I am correct and I guess we will have to see. I am getting scary close to catching up to the current material. I am so excited. :)

Author's Response: Well, by now you are caught up to the current material which actually sucks for you since it takes me so long to update these days, but we'll talk about that later. I can confirm at least one of your theories as it is discussed later on in the story, about the most magically powerful number, but the seven deadly sins, well, I can't do that, and will actually use that as one of the few theories to discredit because to follow through with this would make this story an HP telling of the movie se7en. Sorry, not gonna happen, I grew up in the eighties and saw what sitcom television did to a Christmas Carol, and don't feel like doing the same to a movie I thoroughly enjoy. There is some se7en influence in the story, though, and I will explain that after the story is over. Again, thank you so much.

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/16/07 15:09
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

This was a great chapter. I know I say that alot but every time you say you don't like the chapter I love it. I really liked how you had a maze for them to get through. I was really hoping they would make it in time. Guess that was not what you wanted to have them do. After this chapter I am now suspecting either Rathius or the minister of magic. I also liked the 'for the greater good' comment. Have you read DH yet????

Author's Response: I have read DH, and I'm going to divulge something of a secret. I'm pretty much over HP now. I enjoyed the stories, but I was also about as disappointed with DH as I was entertained by it, so I've got mixed feelings, and strangely enough, I did not feel that kind of sadness you feel when a story ends. At any rate, I think the only reason I continue writing this story is that it is so far removed from canon at this point that to me it doesn't even feel much like it has to do with HP at all. As for the Wall, this was a pretty straight forward chapter, I believe, not prone to surprises, but I think we will learn in the chapter I will write after I finish the one I'm working on something interesting there. I'm not exactly sure. but no, I didn't want them to make it in time, and Igo mentioned the power of the Nightshades, and all of this and I can only say that once this story is done, I will have a lot of explaining to do, and I intend to. Thank you again!

Reviewer: Diamond Quill
Date: 10/16/07 14:39
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

Ugh, I really HAVE been away from MNFF too long, I forgot about the timing out thing. I just lost four paragraphs worth of review.

Basically it was an apology for not reviewing this sooner, neglecting the story for about three months etc. etc.

I really liked the scene with Ron and his son, the awkwardness was excellently written and it was very realistic and with canon.

The way you sort of merged two chapters, or at least two story directions, in one chapter made interesting reading and kept the reader on their toes.

I am looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Must stop procrastinating on responding to reviews. BOOH! no four paragraphs... Nah, I understand, I've just gotten so into the habit of copying and pasting, but here's another little trick I learned, and I don't know if it works with reviews, but it works with responses; if you get the login screen instead of the review has been posted screen, what you can do issimply hit refresh... you might get a white screen and a dialogue box, just click on the left button, or the "retry" I think, or whatever the heck the default is. That usually does it for me. And no apologies are necessary, and in fact, I would be kind of a hypocrite for taking them considering that I have become so neglectful myself in regards to this story. Okay, onto actual review type stuff. I'm trying to remember which part you are at here... okay, this must be where Ginny takes them to see Islington practice, and then from there they go to the scene of the crime for Edgar Eton. Okay, yeah, that's the ticket. So I know what you are talking about, and one of the sad things about this story for me is that I had always intended it to be much more centered on family and the personal relationships between the characters, but as it turns out, the main plotline is very demanding. As a result, what we are seeing is that what is going on with the Nightshades becomes increasingly more prominent and not only do I have the time to inject more family time but also I think to do so would not fit well with the pace and mood I'm establishing in the investigation. But I still have to put somethings in there, and if there was a secondary story in this plot, it would have to be the relationship between Ron and Dennis, at least for me. So I couldn't leave it at how he treated Dennis in the chapter following Tonks' death, you see? Anyway, thank you, glad to hear from you again, and hope you repeat soon.

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/15/07 22:07
Chapter: Chapter 10: Brothers

Great chapter. I really like Rasmussen, maybe better than Rathius. I am still no closer to forming any ideas about the Nightshades or if I trust the Ratbone's. I can't wait to read more and I will be doing so soon. Thanks for the great responses to my reviews, I enjoyed reading them. One last thing, I went to the website you write for and sorry but I will not be reading you there. But your fiction I will follow anywhere!:)

Author's Response: I happen to like Ras as well, and I truly wish I had the opportunity to put more of him in this story, alas, anything more than what we already have would be gratuitous. Whether to trust the Ratbone's, I think Ginny is spot on, and as for the Nightshades, we won't learn much about them next chapter, but the chapter after that should be very informative. As for my responses, this review and response system is fabulous and I love getting into it, and good comments often lead to introspection that I think only makes the writing that much better. And I'm going to assume you were referring to the political website, which is fine. I understand my politics aren't for everyone and have no intention of pushing them on folks outside of my sphere too terribly much. Though, if you will look at my bio, you will find a different website posted there that goes back to fictional writing. Sadly, there's not a whole lot there, just a few scribblings I believe, but definitely some stuff to look at I would think. I do apologize for the scarcity there, but it is necessary. My political writing is my top priority (especially as that is the most promising as far as getting paid to write, which of course is something of a dream). In fact, even my writing of these stories I know have taken a hit from the fact that I focus so much on my political endeavors. Anyway, the point is, the other site will probably remain kinda thin until I'm done with this story, then I plan on really filling up the "pages" of my A Day In The Mind Of home with fictional stuff. I've some ideas, and when I get that going full speed, I'm really going to hope that i bring some of my readership here over there. Anyway, thank you so much, and I'm going to try my best to get the next chapter in the queue by the end of the week!

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/13/07 1:23
Chapter: Chapter 9: In Memoria

Great chapter, the middle scene was bayond words. I hope you continue the good work and I just wish I could stay up to see where Ron is going.

Author's Response: I very much appreciate it, and was definitely worried that that middle scene might be too much. At once I had to let myself go in order to write it, and yet I worried so much that I might have gotten too graphic. In any case, everything seemed to work out quite well, and people seemed to enjoy it much, so thank you, and I'll catch you when you start dropping more reviews, sorry it took so long to respond to the ones you have left already!

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/13/07 0:43
Chapter: Chapter 8: Tempus Fugit

Shoot, that is the second time I have had to live through that. Good chapter, though! It moved fast but I read it faster because I didn't need breaks inbetween. I liked the pace.

Author's Response: Cool! Yeah, I'm normally a much slower paced author in that I usually like taking my time, describing things, investigating emotions, etc. but here, I had ot make it not only move quick, but feel quick, and frantic and frenzied. So there you go. thanks.

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/12/07 23:53
Chapter: Chapter 6: The Beast

I loved this chapter especially the part at the end when Harry harrasses Ron for only beating 1 dragon. Keep up the great work.

Author's Response: Again, I was enjoying being able to use humore while I still had the opportunity. Also, it should be noted that was a quick and easy way for me to avoid having to come up with an entirely different scenario on how Harry beat his dragon. I didn't want to have to deal with that. thank you so much.

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/12/07 23:47
Chapter: Chapter 7: Memories

Great Chapter. I know you didn'y like it much but I loved going back in the pensive and Ron and Hermione fighting in her new, huge, office.

Author's Response: I do remember liking that scene, or at least what it represents. to me, while they may not be particularly germane to the story, it is still important for me to show depth in the personal relationships Ron has with his friends and family, and the little tiff in the office just seems like so right here, to show that they love each other, but this isn't a fairy book kind of love, but very real completely with arguments and worrying and such. Thank you again!

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/12/07 21:25
Chapter: Chapter 5: Infinitialus Locusio

Thank God I got into this story so late I don't have a cliffhanger comming up. It was a great chapter and I loved seeing Simon. The opening of this chapter was great and really creepy. I loved it.

Author's Response: Yeah, enough people liked Simon that I had to give him something of an encore, and what a better way to do it. as for the opening, well, I think initially I wasn't going to do that, at least not that early, but one of the things that has proven to be the most challenging aspect of writing this story is gaging exactly how much is the right amount of information to let leak about the Nightshades over the course of the telling. letting just the slightest bit of information slip too soon, and I think the whole story is ruined, but by not giving enough, and people will lose interest. To this regard, I think I might have done a little better by being a little more generous with the information, but also, the effect might be diminished in that I'm now only writing about a chapter a month, so it's not like if you are having questions, you can keep reading until satisfied. Ah well. Thank you again!

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/11/07 23:16
Chapter: Chapter 4: From Here There Be Monsters

Great chapter, I loved seeing the return of Ratbone. This is all for tonight. Keep up the good work!!

Author's Response: Ratbone! Yes, many people seem to like the guy, and he even picked up a QSQ nomination for the second year in a row, so if he had the capacity to be so, he would be thrilled. I love writing both him and his brother, they both have these unique personalities that I think add a wonderful texture to the story, and their personal dynamic is one that I've enjoyed since I created them, and was only too pleased to share with you. Thank you again!

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/11/07 22:18
Chapter: Chapter 3: Death Magic

I loved how different Ron's 'Death Eater' expierence was from Adam's. I really like the flashbacks with Ron and I can't wait to read the next chapter, which I am going to start right now....

Author's Response: Thank you. there was something I wanted to really shine out about Ron's character in this, and that is a kind of compromise between varying views of him, I suppose. In the first HP book, Ron shows a kind of ability to be smart, and then for the next five books he diverges completely away from that. Then, back in book seven he has a couple of moments of brilliance, but nothing much to write home about. I'm going to go ahead and commit a sin, and point this as a flaw of JKR's in that she took this character and turned him into something of an archetype, which I never thoroughly approved of. So here, we have a kind of compromise in that I don't turn Ron into a genius, but he has a kind of true grit kind of intelligence about him, and where he fails in mental capacity, he makes up for in tenacity, which is all the thinking that goes behind his Death Eater experience. Anyway, thank you again.

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/11/07 21:11
Chapter: Chapter 2: The Grove

Another good chapter. I loved the details you put in at Neville's house. I especially loved the light switch on the moonflower plant.

Author's Response: Jeez, I barely remember the moonflower plant, I'm going to have to go back and read that. You know, some people didn't like the detail so much, but I loved writing Neville's house, it was great fun. That is one of the great things about writing in this little sandbox, you really are limited only by your imagination and your ability to describe it, and things like Neville's house just let me get loose and do as I please, you know? thank you again!

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/11/07 20:17
Chapter: Chapter 1: The Recruit

Nice!! This was great.

This was my favorite part:
“It's just a Death Eater,” Harry tried.


“Yeah,” Ron jumped in. “You've faced one, you've faced them all. No problem.”


I loved it.

Author's Response: Yeah, I loved the humor in the opening chapters of this story. I find myself at a place thus far where there is little to no room for humor, but what are you going to do? thank you so much!

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 10/11/07 19:30
Chapter: Prologue: Severatum

Wow, great start. For som reason your chapters make me want to drink. Weird,huh?

Author's Response: HAHAAHHAHA! Drinking aside, I'll take that as a compliment. Actually, I will, because that means, as opposed to just something you are doing to pass the time, the stories you read from me are the kind of stories you would be willing to curl up with and chill and read, you know? thanks, thanks a lot (and I'm sure Winston as an alcoholic in this bit has nothing to do with the urge at all)

Reviewer: Igo Retla
Date: 10/11/07 11:19
Chapter: Chapter 14: Internalizing

Catching up...

“You’d have to know a whole lot more about plants than me to be able to break into this house,”

So is the fifth, or the sixth Nightshade an expert on plants? They chose a special flower as their symbol, after all.

Horace Huckabee the Master?

And here is Anonime Mano...



Author's Response: mmmm... no... I think Rathius is about dead on with his analysis of the Nightshades we've yet to meet. You know, I never really contemplated making one of the Nightshades a plant master, to be honest. I think that would have to be because if you think about it, a plant Nightshade might be... well... kinda boring. I mean, what's he going to do in battle? Bring a bunch of vines and plants and stuff? As for Huckabee as the Master... like so many other theories, i can neither confirm nor deny that. Thank you again.

Reviewer: Igo Retla
Date: 10/11/07 10:53
Chapter: Chapter 15: Revelations

You're right, it wasn't bad.

I do, however, have a couple of comments that have been building for some time, GR. Honestly, while I like your writing, I don't like the villains in the piece so much. Mainly because they all seem to be the "Gary Stu" or "Mary Sue" of villains. Perfect. Overwhelming. They don't narrowly escape our heroes by some fluke--they dominate, leaving them clueless. And you're not giving us, the reader, enough hints as to what's going on, either. What's Anonime Mano? Did I miss the foreshadowing of how it works? That's one thing that Jo did throughout the series--when she was going to introduce a new spell or concept that would be crucial to the plot, we'd see it earlier. Like in GOF, when Molly used Accio on the twins, then Harry had to use it to get his broom.

Well, except for Adam, of course. I caught that one right away, didn't I?

Otherwise, your writing is vivid and detailed. Sometimes too much so--the square was just plain gory, and I thought added little to the story...but I really wanted to offer some honest, truly constructive criticism.

Editing notes: "other’s", as in "You’re no better than the other’s I’ve killed" needs no apostraphe, it's plural rather than possessive. And "alright" still isn't a word--honest. Look it up. Try dictionary.com--I didn't want to post their entries. Or recall that Jo always uses the full "All right, Harry?" when Tonks greets (greeted) Harry.

Thanks again, Grimmrook!



Author's Response: Okay, first, grammar, I pretty much deliver a blanket apology for grammar errors, and you have a point with all right. I write it as alright in dialogue primarily because I get up to my elbows in it with dialogue, trying to write everything as it sounds and not as it is proper because, well, that's just my style. I can change that in the future though. Now for the villains. You are right and wrong to a degree, and unfortunately, I can't go into full detail on them until after the story is over, but when that happens, I will, I promise. There is, though, a very specific reason why I chose to make them as powerful as they are, and why they seem so terribly mismatched over Harry and Ron. another thing to consider harkens back to the scene in Part II with Rathius in the forest. Not everything is as it seems, and a lot of the time these folks appear more powerful than they really are. But again, to go too far into it would be to ruin the parts of this story that have yet to happen. As for Anonime Mano, actually, I do mention that at the very first crime scene that they visit, and Harry goes over its usage with Adam before they go to investigate Billy Biddicombe's body. And, please, don't be afraid to give me constructive criticism, especially since it seems to bottle up, and then you unleash a whole can o' whoop ass all at once, and I think I would rather like the more gradual nudges. but seriously, as for the scene in the square, I think the thing that I screwed up was to put up another warning. At the beginning of this story, and I knew this all along, this was going to be a bloody and gory story at parts, and again, there is a rhyme and reason to all of it that you will have to wait for. As for giving you hints as to what is going on, I have been utterly careful about this because I do not want to give away too much too soon, but, I don't want you to worry, in two chapters, i think you are going to get quite a bit of information on what is going on and yet, I plan to leave even more questions . the last thing I want to mention before I move on to your next review is that one thing I think that hurts this story based in regards to your criticisms is that this was not intended to be the last story, but because I have other endeavors that are increasingly usurping my time and energies, this will be the last story that I tell; thus, much needed context to come after this story is over will not be told, though, again, I will most definitely provide a means of telling everything I got on my website (which I haven't updated in quite some time). Okay, on to the next one.

Reviewer: acciobooks1111
Date: 10/08/07 10:06
Chapter: Chapter 15: Revelations

omg i had no clue whatsoever that Adam was one of them. I found it suspicious when he was out sick though. So im guessing that was the work of the masters prodigy? I cant wait for the next chapter. I started reading the story after you had finished this chapter so I didnt have to wait for any of the other chapters. Now that someone said that I think im gonna go read everybody does it. Just to make myself feel a little better. And when you said youre in for a surprise when someone said they didnt think the families are in danger it made me really mad. I hate when things happen to their kids it makes me so sad. Oh well cant wait for #16!!!

Author's Response: With Adam, it was I think a matter of keeping things real, and keeping him in the periphery. I felt wary about making him too much a part of the story because if he became too prominent, there would be too much room for contradiction. On the other hand, keeping him on the sidelines allowed me to slowly allow this relationship to develop between he and Ron and yet not have it in direct conflict with what I eventually had in store for him. But is this the prodigy? The Pupil? Simply? No, you've yet to meet him. If you'll remember, the Pupil is the prodigy that Rathius spoke of, and he wears an owl mask as we see in I believe Infinitialus Locusio. Here, Adam admits that his face is his mask because he is a metamorphmagus. As for the next chapter, since I take it you'll be sticking around for the ending, I'll warn you now, it does take me a while to update, and for that I'm sorry. Each chapter only takes me a couple of hours to write, but it is a matter of finding the time and the right frame of mind. I've written the beginning of the next chapter, and maybe will have more of it done by the end of this week, but we will have to see. Following that, it takes typically another week for approval, so at the rate that I'm currently going, it takes about a month per chapter. And for Everybody Does It, I do encourage you to go read it, but be warned... I can't promise it will make you feel better. Thank you so much.

Reviewer: acciobooks1111
Date: 10/08/07 9:55
Chapter: Chapter 15: Revelations

omg you better write more already!! I cant wait very long. So that must have been the nightshade that is the prodigy? Good at everything?


Author's Response: heh... I'll answer your next review which is more in depth, but thank you.

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