Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 02/14/08 22:09
Chapter: Chapter 17: The Pupil

Ah, The Pupil, where to start. I was loving the chapter until the AK hit Eric. That was disappointing. I did really like when Ron decided that tonight they would fight. I cannot wait for the next validation.

Author's Response: Well, I'll respond to the rest of the stuff later when I get a chance, but I want to repeat this as often as possible because, for once, it's not my fault. the next chapter was validated some time last week, but somehow got stuck in the queue as I guess a result of the data base glitch. I've been keeping an eye on the most recent stories added because the mods said that they were going to try and unstick the thing, but so far it doesn't seem as though anything is happening in that department. It's just as well, thing in politics are such that I can't imagine when I'll find the time to write the chapter. Anyways, the next chapter has been written, it's been validated, now we're all just waiting around to see when it'll actually post, which I hope is soon. ... Okay, I'll answer some more stuff. As for the AK, of course I did that on purpose. I think I was going for shock, but also, he had to be killed then or else he might have given up more than I wanted him to. In fact, I know he would have. thanks for the review, and I hope the next one pops up soon.

Reviewer: Jameswys
Date: 02/14/08 22:00
Chapter: Chapter 16: The Reaper

Wow, that chapter was emotionally draining, it was just what I was looking for. I loved the whole thing. I was unable to find the easter eggs but I am usually drinking while reading the Nightshades cases.

Author's Response: Well, since I'm not sure how many people read my responses to other people's reviews, I'll let you know. This square is actually about the same place where Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Ginny went to go shopping in One Good Day. We see Edith and Ethyl who were the old couple they nearly knocked over when they did the piggy back race, and the bookstore owner who shoos out students is the same bookstore owner from then too. Interesting thing about the book shop owner, his name is aziphaerale (I really have no clue how to spell it), a character I borrowed from Good Omens, a Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman book. He's an Angel, and when I'm done with the story, I'll have an interesting bit of trivia and how he relates to one of the characters. As for the rest, I'm glad it was what you were looking for. The interesting thing about this story is there's a lot more action in it than my previous stories. Some people seem to like the action, other's don't. I'm glad to see you like it because there's plenty more where that came from (still to be written, of course).

Reviewer: Herminculus
Date: 02/12/08 16:37
Chapter: Chapter 17: The Pupil

First and foremost, I must say, I read them all. Epilogues III being my absolute favourite so far, partly because I am rather partial to Rathius Ratboneís character, partly because it is far more in canon with the original story. On the note of Rathius, hat off. He is a rather intricately layered character, so simple, yet so unpredictable. I can honestly say, I enjoyed him very much.

You also, have a way with words that is rather special. Your vocabulary is exemplary and your descriptions vivacious and realistic. And forgive me, but this where my critique may kick a bit in. As authors, we tend to have this incessant desire to flood the information. We allow our verboseness to get the better of us, because we would like the reader to be able to see exactly what is in our minds, because only then they will truly understand what is it that we are trying to say, right? Not quite. Despite your superb command of the language and exceptional talent to convey a scene, I have found your story, at times, choked me with details. Much like Dickens or Dostoevsky, you tend to go into glorious details. Sometimes, it is absolutely necessary. For example, I was extremely drawn into the description of Rathiusís library, because it helped the reader perhaps get a further glimpse of a mysterious character. On the other hand, I must admit, I skipped over the description of Harry and Ronís office. Please, I sincerely hope that you do not take this the wrong way and I acknowledge that it is solely my own opinion, but I do find the descriptions sometimes patronizing. Have a little bit of faith that your readers will get the picture and even if it is not totally exact to the one you imagined, so what. Allow us a little bit of an imagination. From your authorís notes and your responses to the comments, I believe that it is safe to say that you are not a man of a few words. Try to acknowledge that about yourself when you write. It helps to know what you tend to do as yourself and attempt to control that aspect in your writing. I must do the same thing, believe me.

And, if you must continue with the level of detail, because that it is your style, your signature, I respectfully request that you isolate the dialogue. =)
For if you must flood, I must find an ark to stay afloat. =P

My only other problem is mild characterization issues. For instance, it appeared curious to me that Rathius acted so estranged towards Harry when they first went to see him. Or rather, Harry towards him. Despite 16 years gap, they did work together at one point and Rathius is not a man one easily forgets or at all in fact. Especially not when Harry knows that he has been close to Ginny. I truly was disappointed in the lack of some aspect of familiarity in that encounter.

In addition, I am unsure whether it is inconsistent that Ginny would not trust Ratbone. When Ron asked her if he was the only person left on the planet and she had to trust him, I imagine that Ginny would understand that Ratbone, as creepy as he is, is also a man of absolute logic and ultimately best course of action. With an exception of letting his brother die for the sake of his experiment, Ratbone has always ďdone the right thingĒ. At least, so far and definitely in his own twisted way, but he has not shown that he harbours any ill will. If Ginnyís not trusting him was supposed to foreshadow something, I must say it was a bit weak. If not, it was a mere issue with characterization.

Also, in Epilogues II (forgive me, I am clumping this all together) it is unlikely that Colin Creevey would refer to Ron and Hermione as Ginnyís brother and his wife. They went to school together for six years and they were friends. I found that somewhat strange to be honest.

I must qualify my critique. It is not meant to be insulting in any way. These are mere minor things that I felt I needed to be brutally honest about. I critique not to insult, but to further enhance the integrity and strength of the written word. And what you have here is definitely worth strengthening.

I applaud you. You are a real craftsman of writing. It isnít often that I get so drawn to a character and a story. It has been a pleasure and an amazing journey. Please take this with the utmost respect it was meant with and I genuinely hope that we will be able to read more of your things. Harry Potter related, or otherwise.


Author's Response: No offense taken, will respond when I have more time.

Author's Response: First, it's difficult to be insulted when one is praised, so dono't worry about it. I am writing without a beta for a few reasons, so I kind of have to rely upon you guys to keep me honest. So feel free. Given you left a long critique, I'm probably going to be all over the place answering it, but I'mgoing to give it a go. You are right, I'm incredibly descriptive, and it is both a curse and a gift in a way. I know I have a tendancy to get too deep into it, and in general it is often because I just love getting lost in the details. One thing, and I think a reviewer a long while back said this, you know, in this world of magic, we have the ability to make magic with the settings we create, and I try to do that everytime I bring in a new place. But yeah, I get the point, and I think there are three categories here that we are talking about. Being descriptive when it is warranted because a place is unique, for instance, such as Rathius' office as you point out, or perhaps the Grove which I originally went into such description because of how I planned on destroying it later on. Then there's just me getting carried away which I know I need to control. And then there's the descriptiveness because I have an ulterior motive. Exactly the reason why I was as descriptive as I was with Ron and Harry's office. An office is an office, and I could have left it at a couple of sentences and been done with it, but the reason I went into so much detail was not necessarily so you could get a clear look into it, but because I was using the device of the office to kind of catch the reader up on their lives in the sixteen years since Part II ended. I was trying to catch you up without some grossly out of place exposition, or through dialogue which would have been equally suspect (having them talk as though they were trying to catch up on seventeen years they experienced together-kind of like video game dialogue where the characters on screen explain the controls to each other, if you see where I'm going with this). On to characterization. An interesting thing; Rathius and Harry never met while they taught in Hogwarts, or if they did it was very fleeting. Remember, it was Ginny that told Harry about Rathius, and this was after he had started teaching. I try not to get too into the details of Rathius because there's going to be lots to explain when the story is over (this was supposed to actually set me up to write a whole other series of stories that I'm just not going to write, so I'm going to have a big wrap up series of essays on my own website), but I'll give one detail away. In general, Rathius was never very interested in Harry Potter. I won't go into the hows or whys of it other than to say Harry is too easily understood by Rath to really make him take a second look. So, no, they never really met, but then, Rathius rarely mixed with the other instructors either. He dealt with McGonagall when he had to, and other than that, kept ot himself. Harry's more curious about Rathius, of course, but he's kind of off balance when it comes to him, and we don't get to peak in his head during this last story, but what he sees is basically that Rathius and the two younger Weasleys have some sort of thing going on, and he's just not really meant to ever be a part of it. Last thing, and I hope I finish it before I have to go. It is totally in character for Ginny not to trust Rath, and I thought about this, and I had her, or my version of her think about it in her head today as I mulled this over in the car. The crux of it was that he never explained why he helped her. That single lack of information kind of festered and ruined her ability to trust him. She knows he supposedly doesn't have emotions, and this alone makes her wonder, why would he help her stay with Harry? A purely logical person wouldn't care, or would be more likely to oppose the kind of romance they had going on, so what was advantageous to him that made him aide her as much as he did? The answer to that question I can't say, but since neither you nor Ginny know, you can at least know the chief reason she never trusted him. That is the logical reason. The illogical reason is that whenever she thinks on him too much, she always returns to the forest and the way his eyes looked back at her when he froze her mid air. It affected her deeply then, and that affect has stayed with her her entire life. Thus, on the surface, she seems for the most part grateful, sometimes even somewhat fond of him, but in the deepest part of her, Rathius scares the hell out of her. Anyway, thanks so much for both the criticism and the incredibly kind words and I hope you'll continue to way in on future chapters, though this is the last story I'll post here, or write in the HP universe. Again thanks.

Reviewer: akb
Date: 02/10/08 19:03
Chapter: Chapter 17: The Pupil

that was really good...no joke...i think probably one of your best....i was so excited that Harry and Ron were going to get the chance to defeat the Master...but then ...Eric died...shocker...great job
akb

Author's Response: Heh, thanks. I was hoping it would come as something of a shock, and I have to tell you that was a tricky conversation to write as well, so I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Also, this is for everyone. I am really really sorry about the next chapter. It's up, it's been approved, but it got stuck in the queue, and they say it may still be a few days before it's posted, but we'll see.

Reviewer: akb
Date: 02/10/08 19:00
Chapter: Chapter 17: The Pupil

that was really good...no joke...i think probably one of your best....i was so excited that Harry and Ron were going to get the chance to defeat the Master...but then ...Eric died...shocker...great job
akb

Reviewer: ginnylils
Date: 02/08/08 10:53
Chapter: Prologue: Severatum

your stories are absolutely great

Author's Response: thank you so much.

Reviewer: MissBellaBunny
Date: 02/04/08 18:23
Chapter: Chapter 3: Death Magic

I knew that there was something creepy about him! Sorry I haven't reviewed at all, I usually dont review until the very last chapters so that I can write a lot! I love it so far. You are such a creative author and i wish that my stories were as good as yours. You could read them, but my only one isnt validated yet. :( Anyway, keep up the good writing!

lots of love,
MISSBELLABUNNY

Author's Response: Ah... Rathius... Yes, he's an odd sort. Just keep reading, though, I like to think he gets better in this story. And don't worry, to be honest, I only check in here once a week or longer as my other writing has pretty much monopolized my time. Thank you very much, I was hoping this story would be well received given how much time I've thought about it, and how much effort I've put into writing it. I'm just about to put up the final chapter before the three chapter climax, and I know I still have months left to go before all is said and done with this story, but, there is something sad about knowing that it will soon be over. As for your own story, don't worry, keep plugging away. I don't beta, and to be terribly honest, I really don't even read fanfic anymore. But for a little advice, if you want it; learn to love your spell check and grammar check, and the HP Lexicon (google it, I always do), is an invaluable tool that will save you hours that would otherwise be spent paging through the books. Get to know your moderators, and when you get your validation or rejection letter, don't be afraid to ask them questions and advice. And BETA BETA BETA. I wrote One Good Day and Right Here without a beta, but when I moved on to EDI and the first two parts of the Epilogues series, you better believe I had some serious beta work going on to make sure those stories were the best they could be. Even now, in Part III, I'm working without a beta as more of a test for myself, and if you read through the reviews (I know, there are a lot), you'll see that I've made more than a few mistakes. Finally, when it comes to the actual story and the writing, you know, telling a story is itself a process that you have to in your own way get comfortable with. There are the basics that you can learn in just about any literature class; the basic structure of a story, themes, symbolism, so on and so forth. What I can say is that you should evaluate your story. What is it about your story that makes you want to tell it, and is your story really something unique and interesting? Look at it as a single chunk and find where it's worth is. There have been some stories I've read (I used to beta), that would frustrate me because they were stories I've read or heard before, or because they really weren't stories at all, but narrations. So that's one big bit of advice, tell a story. I think one thing that too many people do is kind of turn their fanfics into vicariously living in the HP world and it's fun, but it's not exactly story telling, you see what I mean? Tell stories, and tell them with style, and you should do well.

Reviewer: HJPX
Date: 02/04/08 7:23
Chapter: Chapter 1: The Recruit

Really doesnt follow the same flow as the first two epilogues

Author's Response: No, this is very much a different story than the two prior to it. I hope you do continue to enjoy it though.

Reviewer: HJPX
Date: 01/31/08 11:40
Chapter: Prologue: Severatum

The vagueness is a good tool of suspense

Author's Response: Well, I tried.

Reviewer: ObsEssedHRHLS
Date: 01/23/08 13:02
Chapter: Chapter 17: The Pupil

This truly is an amazing story! I just love it! Keep up the work. Brilliant!

Author's Response: Thank you kindly. I think about about two thirds of the way through chapter 18, so I hope to have it finished and in queue by the end of this week. Fingers crossed!

Reviewer: elijahlover
Date: 01/13/08 20:50
Chapter: Chapter 17: The Pupil

Hey, I found you via hpff and I've only read your first one so far and I cried so many times, you are such an amazing writer, it's just so, ahh. PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!

Author's Response: Well, I'm glad you found me over here! To be honest, the postings I've made at other sites are going to continue to not be updated for quite some time since I've kind of found a nice home here at MNFF. As a result, I'm not even considering updating the stories at the other sites I've posted to in the past until I've finished the stories completely. So if you want updates, here's the place to look, but as I've said recently, I'm a busy busy guy, and at this point it's taking me a month or two to finish a chapter, so if you're still on the first story; relax, take your time. It's no good getting caught up and then having to wait a month or so for the next update. Thanks for reading, and I look forward to future reviews from you.

Reviewer: longliveHP111
Date: 01/06/08 15:08
Chapter: Chapter 17: The Pupil

I reviewed before as accio_books111 but I lost my password.

omg that was really good ,but I was getting really fed up with how long you took to post! Congratulations on getting paid. Your writing is certainly good enough in my opinion. I'm wondering why the nightshades wouldn't just kill the rest of the clan after they got the sons. I haven't figured out what the sons' importance are in this besides leverage or if they even have another importance. I have never been good at solving mysteries.
In my last review I mentioned that I thought it was obvious The Master wasn't Ratbone. I only thought this becuase it seemed that the nightshades were far more powerful than Rathius could have been. Now I'm questioning that because it could have been a technique not to show us much of Ratbone's powers so that we don't suspect him.
I'm really enjoying the story but I feel like Ron is really pulling into himself and not communicating with others as much or focusing on his relationships as much as he did in the beginning. I'm not sure if you meant to make that happen, but it did and I think it fits well.
PLEASE update a little quicker because I don't know if I can take the suspense. Have fun with your little girls in Disney!

- Olivia

Author's Response: Boo for losing your password. Yeah, I'm sorry for the long waits, and as I told an earlier reader, and I think I'll mention this in the author's note to my next chapter, my feelings won't be hurt if people want to take a break until I've finished writing, just so long as they come back and leave reviews at the end. It's just a development that I'm not going to be able to change, really. As for getting paid, I'm not quite there yet. We still haven't cleared overhead, but I'm hopeful by the end of the year we will. I need to talk to the site owner about some advertising options when I get the money to chip in, but we're doing good, and I'm hoping when this story is done, those who are interested in politics will become readers there too. Anyway, let's get to the story. The son's importance... I"m going to say right now I'm being a little unfair, and you will all see what I mean more clearly when the story is over. This story was never intended to be the end, but instead just a prelude. Everything is therefore a set up for a much greater story line that I intended to write (yes, all of the stories were setting things up for this goal). Had my stories not been skewed so wildly out of canon, I would have given a crack at that story line, but since they currently are, no dice, and I have other things I want to do, so this will be it. As a result, the significance of the boys will only be partially hinted at by the end of the book. To this end, don't feel bad if you are having a hard time figuring it out. That wasn't supposed to be the mystery of this story, and in fact, this story was intended not to pose their importance as a mystery, but to reveal their importance, or at least set it up as a mystery for the next arc. As for how powerful Rathius is... I can't say much, but one should not underestimate the abilities of a man who has devoted his entire life to pure magical study. Not even Albus Dumbledore could claim that role. Interesting point of fact, this would be a recurring argument between the deceased Hogwarts Headmaster, and the curator of the Gnaritas Fidelis library. That relationships I will delve more into after the story is finished, but one thing that they would argue over is that Rathius felt that Albus wasted too much time bothering himself with the affairs of others, while Albus chided Rathius from spending too much time buried in his books. As for Ron, yes, I think he is pulling into himself, something I think logical to see after he has seen so many of his friends and colleagues buried. In the end, Ron never fully recovers from this episode in his life. It doesn't kill him as we learn in Everybody Does It, and there's some good news I'll be telling after we finish this story, but to the end of his days, he does ever let this case belong ultimately to the past. This, I think, in direct contrast to how Harry does eventually let Voldemort go as we read about in Epilogues Part I. As for Disney, my younger daughter was too young to really enjoy it that much (though there were parts that she just absolutely adored, and when we went to the Enchanted Tiki room, she danced on my shoulders for about fifteen minutes straight). My oldest, on the other hand, who always wants to "wear a pretty dress", and likes jewelry, was in utter heaven meeting the princesses. anyway, gotta go.

Reviewer: Phoenix3
Date: 01/06/08 0:23
Chapter: Chapter 11: Deeper In A Hole

All I can manage to say is that I desperately want to keep reading.

Author's Response: Then please do... though I should say you shouldn't feel particularly rushed. If you catch up to me, then that's just one more person I'm making wait between chapters, and I feel bad enough as it is. Thank you again.

Reviewer: Phoenix3
Date: 01/05/08 23:17
Chapter: Chapter 9: In Memoria

This must have been an interesting and challenging chapter to write, the contrasts of emotions, tempos. Actually, the contrast I experienced most was sound, which is interesting given that I'm reading, not actually hearing anything. We'll call it an achievement and offer congratulations with a hearty slap on the back.

Author's Response: Well, the funeral was challenging to write, and I had a couple of pages down at one point before I had to scrap it and start from the beginning. It was challenging on two fronts because at one point I desperately needed to achieve what I wanted to, but on the other hand, I had to make sure I did Tonks' death justice or else I would have a virtual angry mob on my ass, and no one wants that, really. The love scene, on the other hand, was for the most part easily written. For scenes like that, for intense, and primal scenes that don't necessarily have to be choreographed, all I really do is close my eyes and write. I just let the moment happen and I record those details that I think matter, that show the scene. There was a little bit of a challenge in that I had to write it such that it didn't delve into porn, but aside from that, and doing so wasn't that difficult, it was pretty natural. I'm interested and actually glad you mention sounds though. Now that I think about it, there was much in that chapter that had to do with sound, and I think that was intentional. I remember specifically thinking that I didn't want the love scene to have a sound track, I wanted it to be almost feral, I wanted the real sounds and not some composed music running in the background. I wanted it to be harsh and I think that was why I wanted it in the bathroom. You get into the bathroom, and sounds seem amplified, especially if you are paying attention to them. And so yeah, I think this chapter was meant to be less visual and more based upon secondary senses, touch and sound, and I think that was intended to give it a much more intense experience. Anyway, thanks so much.

Reviewer: Phoenix3
Date: 01/05/08 22:40
Chapter: Chapter 8: Tempus Fugit

Well I dunno how it worked for everyone else, but I thought this was a justly intense chapter, lots of pounding sensations in the chest, eyes, ears, feet--like ouch I'm sore from having to read about poor Ron's frantic chase.

These last few chapters have been as far-removed as possible from anything remotely like disappointing--quite the feat considering I'm currently reading about the universe and big history, very large ideas. Onwards with the ever-lasting relationship of you write, I read.

Author's Response: Ah, Tempus Fugit... Haven't discussed this one in a while. I will say this, in chapters since, I've grown much more comfortable and confident, and I remember this being a particularly harrowing chapter to write, especially given the subject matter and that, had I not pulled it off adequately, this and the following chapter, I would be pissing an awful lot of people off. In the end, I think it came out okay, and I think I achieved the effect I was going for. And thanks for the compliment. And yes, that relationship, I write, you read, it does continue, and at the rate I'm writing lately, probably into the summer. Thank you so much, and see ya for the next.

Reviewer: jediprankster
Date: 01/03/08 1:35
Chapter: Chapter 17: The Pupil

More thoughts have occured to me. I do remember the Master musing to himself that it was unfortunate that the plan required the Pupil's death. I had, during this chapter, assumed that the Pupil had learned this, and was helped along, in his betrayal of the Master, by this knowledge. Now, I wonder if the Master didn't plan this betrayal. Maybe the Pupil was just following orders by telling Harry and Ron what he was telling them. Or maybe he just betrayed the Master as a result of the Master's masterful (forgive the pun) manipulation. The Wall's 'confession' that he almost let Harry and Ron succeed, may have just been more of the Master's carefully written script. That's what I like about your writing - You keep me thinking and speculating. As for the comparisons to 'LOST', I can see it too. I agree that 'Alias' did go downhill a bit in the later seasons, but it was still good. 'LOST' on the other hand just keeps getting better and better. A lot of fans have complained about season three not being as good as the first two, but I think it is better. Slower paced, yet more riveting. Check it out.

Author's Response: Oh dear, I couldn't possibly allow myself to get sucked into lost at this point. I'm already addicted to too many tv shows that I watch online right now because I don't have cable, if I got into something like lost, I wouldn't even have time for my political writing, much less what I do here. But I'm still grateful for the comparison. I've put quite a bit of effort into keeping things up in the air. Some of it is by accident, some of it is by careful planning, and I've no qualms taking credit for both. In this instance, I think the misdirection, and the questions you pose here are a little of both. I think when I first wrote that the Master's lament, it was definitely foreshadowing, but it wasn't, I don't think, ever intended to create as much confusion as it eventually did. The reason for this is because I know how it all ends. I know what is planned and what is not, and you, of course, don't. As a result, several lines of thought are exposed now that I think I wasn't exactly planning for, but am currently enjoying immensely. And so the question is, was this Eric's planned death? Or was the Master trying to shut him up before too much was given away? Or maybe it was simply punishment for breaking from the script? Ah... I know the answer, and you will too... in time. Thank you so much, and I'll see ya for the next one.

Reviewer: jediprankster
Date: 01/03/08 0:34
Chapter: Chapter 17: The Pupil

Wow! That was fantastic as usual. No one thing stands out. It was all so good. The only thing that even remotely stands out among the rest was Ron asking Dennis "You'll know if I lie to you, won't you?" That moment between Ron and Dennis was my favorite part of the chapter.

Author's Response: You know, I think it was mine too. So much of the rest of the chapter was business, but that part just... I had been planning that for so long. And despite all the mystery that Dennis is to Ron, I think we can point to that moment as the moment where Ron finally understands Dennis... Or at least understands him as well as anyone is able to.

Reviewer: jediprankster
Date: 01/02/08 23:44
Chapter: Chapter 16: The Reaper

Wow! "And fight is exactly what they did. The remaining regulars sent curse after curse after the Nightshade who ducked and dodged with awe-inspiring grace. It was like watching a beautiful dance, the way the killer moved. No step seemed out of place, and every motion of the wand felt choreographed to the extent that it had been meant to be since the beginning of time." That was some fantastic imagery. I also especially liked the description of the three Aurors dueling as a team. Very well written and very intense.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I had a lot of fun writing that chapter, and I think it shows. Writing action in the HP world is interesting. On one hand, the magic means that you have almost limitless possibilities, on the other hand, the usage of wands seems so very limiting. In a way, this is why I worked staffs and scrolls into the mix to help mix things up a bit, and there are a few things as you will eventually see to further this along. But still, magic really lets you open your wings and fly when you draw up these big battle scenes, and with the Reaper, who unlike the rest of the Nightshades we've seen so far who have some sort of a motif about them, you can really just go all over the place. But, and this is true too, you can't merely just let it turn into a people taking turns with different spells, and so, what I think we see is that as the Nightshade's opponents progress, we see less focus on the spells and more on the tactics. But yes; imagery. I think with the Reaper and the Illusion imagery is most definitely the order of the day, and I think the passage you quote right there was exactly what I was getting at. I wanted the Reaper to be beautiful in his destructive rampage; to be so gifted that despite how horrendous his actions, at least a part of you couldn't help but stand back and admire it a little. Anyway, thank you so much, and I'll catch ya for the rest of the story.

Reviewer: AnaMolly
Date: 01/01/08 21:37
Chapter: Chapter 17: The Pupil

Happy New Year! Well, well, well, isnít this chapter packed with useful information! I loved the beginning scene with Dennis. He does seem to be a very special boy. Hermione breaking down was a great touch with everything thatís happening. Just when we thought that we would find out what is really going on you kill Eric off! He did give plenty of information they can use but there was still more! What was it? Does it have to do with Rathius? I always ask questions I know you wonít answer, but I canít help it. This one was very well written as always as well as descriptive. I could see the Groveís burning plants in my mindís eye and I could even see the terror on every oneís faces to know that the kids were taken. I canít wait to read what happens next! And yes, it feels like we are nearing the end. Great Job Kyle!
Ana


Author's Response: Thank you, and a Happy New Year to you as well! It's interesting. Every time I see your name, I think one of two things. Either I think of the Incubus song (I hate incubus, but still, there's that son), or I am reminded of the fact that Tom's future wife goes by that same name. Ana... Short for Anathea Rose. But... ah well, I got sidetracked. Anyway, yes, finally an exposition chapter to warm us up for the final segment of the story. The beginning scene with Dennis was important for a few reasons. Now, there is the ultimate story arc, much of which the Epilogues is merely a beginning for (a prologue perhaps? Not really, but prelude fits quite nicely). I won't write that story, but will tell yall about it when I'm done with this story through my personal blog (which has fallen into disrepair since my last update). He is a special boy, and I wish I could say more, but unfortunately, much of his future would ruin surprises I have left for this story, so we must move on. The other purpose of that first scene is simply that I like to tell a full story, and add a lush texture to the charicterization. If this story was merely a recording of events, I think I could make it about half the length, but these trips into the relationship between Ron and Dennis I think makes it a much fuller experience when, for instance, the boys get kidnapped by the Nightshades. It ceases to be some gimic you might see in a video game, or a two hour summer blockbuster, and something more real, more human. This isn't Mel Gibson going on a suicide mission for his kidnapped boy, but instead, you see the details and the nuances of Ron's relationship. It goes, I think, beyond the archetypical relationship between parent and child, and more into a more personal relationship between two people. One often confounded by the other, but this confusion leads to a particularly strong love and fondness. Ron doesn't simply love Dennis because Dennis is his son, and he's supposed to. Ron loves him because he's this unique being, this strange alien that is far more intelligent than he, far more analytical, but at the same time, somehow, some of that stuff has got to have come from the father. In this way, Dennis becomes a distorted mirror for Ron. I think a lot of this stuff stems from my own journeys into fatherhood, how I've studied my own daughters, and thought how much like strangers they seem to be at times, and yet how much of them must have come from me. They will be typical in some respects, and in others, they will be very unique and special. As for your questions, of course I will answer them, all in due time. For now, you will have to sit and enjoy the ride just like everyone else. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, it was a challenge, but rewarding chapter to write, and because of the nature of the events, gave me some creative license I wasn't expecting. I think, after rereading it following publication, I would like a second crack at the last little bit, but other than that, I'm pretty happy with it. The next chapter, I look forward to; I"m not sure to be excited or scared, I think it will be an interesting one to write. If this were a rock song, the next chapter will serve something as a bridge, and in writing music I'm terrible at writing bridges, so we'll have to see how it turns out, but anyway, I"m glad you're still enjoying the ride, and I'll see ya for the next one. Thanks again.

Reviewer: Gred_Forge_Weasley
Date: 12/31/07 20:13
Chapter: Prologue: Severatum

Whoa, that was sweet.....
I'm sooo glad that the first chapter is ready for me!


Author's Response: Glad you liked the prologue, and yes the first through seventeenth chapters are ready for you. Though I caution you not to read too fast... I've still quite a bit left to write and the work is slow going. So take your time, and I hope you enjoy the story!

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