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Name: westwinggirl09 (Signed) · Date: 04/01/08 13:34 · For: Chapter 18: The Eve Of War

You have to keep writing this story! I have to know what happens next!


Author's Response: Er... I have to keep writing the story... right? Kidding. Thank so so much. And Westwinggirl? Curious... What's the story behind the name?

Name: mirimos (Signed) · Date: 03/30/08 22:35 · For: Chapter 18: The Eve Of War
for some reason when i clicked on 'story' it gave me 20 chapters so i've read the actual battle which if i may say was FREAKEN AWESOME/UNBELIEVABLE!
i've never reviewed your story but i decided to because of the frikin insane writing you've been doing lately. GJ! I know you said you probably won't continue writing a continuation but any other h/g HP story you write I would love to read. You have a great gift in writing it'd be a shame for it to waste.

The ONLY thing i don't like about this story is that it is from Ron's perspective. If it was half harry half ron i'd be ok but I'm more of a Harry or Ginny fan so there ye go, my only problem. ;)


Author's Response: That is very interesting because the email I received said it was rejected, and I can't even get the chapter... Wonder how you got it, probably a glitch. Ah well. Thank you very much. No, after this story is finished I'm going to do some posts at my blog to explain where everything else is, and then I want to start telling my own stories online which I hope you will also come and join us for. Also, you're likely to get an email soon from me that will have more details as to what's going on.

Name: Ginzig (Signed) · Date: 03/30/08 8:55 · For: Chapter 18: The Eve Of War
Wow! Describing their walk across that room, in the dark, shooting stunners to find the door and Ron thinking about the thing with jagged teeth. That gave me the willies!! But I'm highly annoyed you stopped where you did! You and those cliffies!!! I was sorry to read that you are leaving mnff. I hope that you will finish your story and I will follow it on your site if you do. Good luck to you.

Author's Response: Well, it apparently had to be. I will post full details on my personal blog. I'll send out some emails to the more frequent readers as I back up all the stories on my computer, and then we'll see about whether or not I'll finish this story or not. I suppose I will, and without having to wait for moderation, that may mean it will happen sooner rather than later (also, I shall be aided by not having to meet word limits). So, with that said, I'll probably have chapter nineteen up by the end of the week, and I'll have the rest of my works here downloadable.rnrnIn truth, this is good in that it will allow me to speed up moving on and start working on some interesting plotlines that I've been cooking up in those few instances where I'm not thinking about this story or more frequently about politics. Thanks for the review, and hope to see ya at my blog.

Name: gunslinger3604 (Signed) · Date: 03/28/08 0:28 · For: Chapter 18: The Eve Of War
AWESOME chapter. The last line was a little Matrix-esque. I'm really interested to see how this battle plays out because the way you've built up the image of the Nightshades it seems like this was just another part of their plan. Certainty of death...small chance of success...what are we waiting for?! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: *cringes at Matrix reference( Really? Damn! I so wasn't looking for there to be a Matrix link at all. *shudder* Oh well. I mean, I knew it was kind of a cliche set up so I suppose I get what I deserve. As for the battle, you know, it's interesting because I think after all this build up, and I didn't realize this until just now, the bar has been set pretty high for what's going to happen over the next few chapters, and now that I think about it, that kinda sucks. I'm glad I didn't think about that as I was writing. Anyway, so yeah, I hope it goes well, I mixed a few things up a bit to hopefully help keep the right pace when we get there and all, but ah... I shouldn't be talking about that chapter when it's not made it through the queue yet! Boo! Okay, I revert back to my stock answer... You're going to have to wait and see. thanks so much and I'm glad you're enjoying hte ride.

Name: Privet Hedge (Signed) · Date: 03/27/08 22:52 · For: Chapter 18: The Eve Of War
Great to see you back!

Yes, the chapter really is up!

Loved the chapter. Would have loved to dive right into the battle, but I must agree this was an excellent choice.

By the way, will Ron ever consciously, specifically answer Rathius' question (from many chapters back)? What do they (Ron & Harry) have that others don't?

They've got fantastic wives who are critical sources of intelligence, friends like Neville who cut to the chase in their research, the rep (public confidence) of having taken down Voldemort, family and friends willing to stand by their side doing so, understanding and experience of having taken down the epitome of evil (they don't (most of the time) let themselves be intimidated before they begin, Fred & George's creativity as a resource...

They've exploited all of these to one degree or another. But they've never articulated an answer to the question.

Author's Response: That's an interesting question you bring up about what was originally one of my character's questions. It's funny because I wrote that so long ago that I kind of forgotten that I even wrote it, but I think once I got my mind into it a little, I came up with an interesting answer. There were two answers to Rathius' question, maybe even a third. Definitely a third, now that I think about it. But they are stratified as far as on what level do they work. The immediate answer, the one that was intended to move the basic plot along, was their relationship to Longbottom, which was what got them bringing the crime scene nightshade to Neville in the first place. You see, while Aurors do have herbologists and forensic wizards, none of them would be able to match Longbottom's ability to analyze the blossom. This is what led to the analysis of Infinitialus Locusio, and ultimately the encounter with the Beast. That was the immediate answer. The next answer is a little more thematic and I'm not going to give it because I think it is buried in chapter 19 which is currently awaiting approval. And if I'm not giving you that answer, there's definitely no way I'm giving you the final answer which ultimately is the cause for this whole thing... Ah, cryptic, I like. So there you go. I'm glad you loved the chapter, and of course there was no way we were going to go straight into the battle, in fact, to give you an idea of the scope of what's to come, the next three chapters are going to be spread over a very short period of time. Indeed, from chapter 17 to chapter 21 all takes place in one night, and a hell of a night I intend it to be. Thank you so much again, and I hope to hear from you again when the next one gets posted.

Name: astro_wizkid (Signed) · Date: 03/27/08 20:53 · For: Chapter 18: The Eve Of War
Yep chapter is up! And all your faithful fans yell hurray! Great chapter by the way....one thing I hated about this chapter was the last line...“Hello Mr. Weasley,” he said with a sick grin on his face. “We’ve missed you.”....I mean if you want to kill us with a hanger....well you just did! lol! no but getting serious, great work as always, I expecially loved the Ron/Hermione one to one in Dennis' bedroom. I cannot wait for chapter 19....bring it on!

Author's Response: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! It's already been brought-en! As in I just put chapter 19 in queue late last night. We'll have to see how it goes but I'm hoping not to disappoint. As for the cliffie, come on, you should know to expect that from me by now. I'm on a cliffie roll that start back in Part II and I'm simply addicted. Besides, it's not like I'm sure you can't figure out what happens next. Ron and Hermione. One of the really frustrating things is that while I have been able to grow Harry up in my mind, and Ginny, and Ron, I could never manage that with Hermione. I think I had her down in the much earlier stories but for this story especially I just don't have a firm grasp on the character. It's quite annoying, actually. Anyway, that scene was kind of cool though because I got to portray her as an adult, as a mother, and it was allowed me to convey this kind of her-ness and not, and have her and Ron have the kind of moment that has been rare in this story without saying much of anything at all. It's interesting, but you know, I think I havea strong Ginny, a strong Harry, a strong Ron, but for some reason I think for Hermione she kind of grew up a little weaker or something, I don't know. I can't put my finger on it, but whatever the case, this scene gave me the opportunity to go in and at least have one last scene between the two of them where we really get to explore their relationship in this story. Thank you so much, and see ya for the next one... soon.

Name: longliveHP111 (Signed) · Date: 03/27/08 18:33 · For: Prologue: Severatum
Wow, that was amazing. By the wasy I was thinking of writing a story, but I never have before. I wrote a chapter in a notebook, but when I typed it out it was too short. I never realize how much Im really reading when Im reading a fanfic. It gives me a much better appreciation for those who do write stories.
Anyway, that was a mojor cliff-hanger. The thing that stood out to me the most was when Ron compared his son and Ratbone to the Pupil. That was slightly eerie to me. I hop they dont have somesort of strange connection. If that did I dont think I would be that suprised though. Im now contradicting myself in thinking that Ratbone is the Master. I dont really know exactly why. Well, enough of my rambling. Im very pleased that the next chapter is already written. I cant wait!

Author's Response: Okay, gotta couple few minutes, let's see about responding to some reviews. First, your story. Okay, so you have a story, you want to give it a go, but it's not long enough. Now, I'm a big fan of the idea that a story or a chapter is as long or as short as it needs to be, but to be honest, this is more talking about someone who probably has a little more experience under their belt. So, the questions that I suppose need to be asked here are, first, is your story a full story, with beginnings, middles, and ends, and conflict and conclusion? That's step one. It could be possible that you don't have at least a thousand words because you don't have a whole story, I don't know. But then, the next thing you need to do is ask yourself what is missing? Is the dialogue natural or is it too guided? Nowhere is it more important than in dialogue for an author to be an invisible hand, making sure you eventually get where you need to go, but not forcing it there. Poorly written dialogue grates on my nerves. In books too. Make sure conversations are natural and reasonable and it doesn't give the impression that the characters already know how the story is going to unfold before it does. The way I like to write dialogue is I have a hard set beginning and an idea of what information must be released and how the conversation in general has to end, and I basically hold the conversation with myself. Like playing both sides of a chess game. Anyway, look at your dialogue and make sure it is fully fleshed out. And then details and imagery, have you fully addressed your settings and your character's appearances? AS I'm sure you know, I can drop a thousand words describing a chair, so, you know, there you go. I'm not saying go overboard, but don't be afraid to languish in description now and then. Anyway, on to this story.rnrnYeah, the next chapter is actually already in the queue, but I've been having issues writing the one after it. I think once I get the opening sequence down, it'll go much smoother from there, but anyway. Is there a connection between all these people? It is possible. These are characters that are now years old in the making and have their lives already plotted out in my mind from cradle to grave. There could be connections, there could be not. I think the most superficial thing, though, is the raw intelligence and the fondness for learning. Anyway, thank you so much.

Name: lostinside1 (Signed) · Date: 03/27/08 15:17 · For: Prologue: Severatum
this chapter is DEFINATLEY up. :) h and thanks for explaining that to me very helpful

Author's Response: No problem. *sigh* I wonder if emails went out. Usually more people would have reviewed by now. Ah well, unless I get overloaded in the next few hours I shall have the next chapter in queue tonight.

Name: lostinside1 (Signed) · Date: 03/26/08 13:05 · For: Chapter 18: The Eve Of War
woah!! did adam actually die then or was he faking?? ahh this is confusing i think im going to have to re read the last chapter now. :)

Author's Response: WHOA! So the chapter is up!?!?!1 Why did it never show up on the most recent list? I'm very confused too. Though, your answer isn't confusing... Adam didn't die, Eric did. Can someone please confirm that this new chapter is up? If it is, I'll put the next chapter in queue tonight.

Name: lzweig (Signed) · Date: 03/20/08 16:43 · For: Chapter 17: The Pupil
i've now gotten three emails saying that you added on. and none of these times have you. what's up???

Author's Response: I'm not sure. What I know is that when I originally submitted chapter 18, it was validated but got "stuck" in the queue. Eventually, I rescinded the chapter while the mods put the site back together. Once the site came back up, I resubmitted the chapter, and it looks like there are still a glitch or two here and there, so that might account for it. As I won't have access to my email until later on tonight, I'm not sure what's exactly going. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, though, and hopefully things will get back to normal soon.

Name: Adelfore Flamell (Signed) · Date: 03/15/08 0:49 · For: Chapter 17: The Pupil
OOOH LORD ROOK i cant believe this is the last chapter for now!!! AAAA Im going to die! I must say though... all through the conversation with "Eric," I just knew that it had to be part of the plan. Perhaps the nightshade was honest, but he could not have been naive enough to think that someone would have caught on that he knew. But even then, the master knew he would have to die so early on. And what the heck do rathius and rassmuson have to do with all this???!!! Brilliant! I love it!!! woohoo!!!!

Author's Response: So... um... whatever happened to that, you know, plan of reviewing each chapter, eh? Ha! I'm just kidding. Reviews each chapter, or an apparent need to keep reading preventing you from dropping a review until you get to the last chapter, either way I take as a compliment and am honored. And fret you not, it seems as though you came to reading at the perfect time. I had chapter 18 finished and in queue but pulled it to help facilitate the site upgrade. So that should get updated tomorrow. I may hold a day to see if there's any last minute changes, but I would say that the next chapter should be up in about a week. Also for the first time in a very long time... I HAVE A BUFFER! Yes! That's right. Chapter 18 and 19 are completed! Though I have yet to go through and revise 19 for errors and content. But yeah, we should have two chapters up in the next few weeks. I'm also really anxious to get this done and over with so I'm going to force myself to try and get 20, 21, 22 and the epilogue written in a timely manner. I've got some none hp related plotlines slowly forming in my head that I really want to explore but don't think I would be able to give my full attention to until this is done.rnrnSo, on to this. I'm not sure if I wanted people to expect ERic to get taken out or not. It's one of the few things I've never quite sorted out personally. Most of the time I have specific feelings and reactions I go after in each chapter, but here, with this one thing, I wanted it I think to be a shock, but not really. So I don't know. What I do know is that the confusion you express about the many different motivations and causal factors behind Erics death, that was also unexpected but much welcome. That particular point in the narrative has always been clear to me who is omniscient in this story arc (or close to), but you know, here's where our knowledge gap is visible.rnrnI try to take into account that knowledge gap when I'm constructing, but I think here is an instant where I forgot about it, and the end result was better than I could have hoped for.rnrnWhat do Rath and Ras have to do with all of this? Hehehehehehehe...rnrnAll good things come to wait. While you will have to go through at least two more chapters with out knowing definitively, I think it is safe to say that the next few paragraphs that I write in chapter 20 will answer that question adequately. Thank you, and hopefully the next two chapters find you quickly. Till then..

Name: teelcj (Signed) · Date: 03/12/08 23:04 · For: Chapter 17: The Pupil
I read your story over the summer. It only went up to the point where Tonks died. But, I recently remebered reading it and decided to reread everything from the beginning. Well...I'm not dissappointed in the least. This is one of the best stories I have read in the fanfiction realm. The way that you "play" with J.K. Rowling's world is really quite incredible.

Now, I don't know if its because I'm fairly good at reading mystery plots or what, but I knew that Adam was going to betray Ron and Harry, and I knew that the boys, especially Dennis were going to be the focal point of the Nightshades' plot. It wasn't obvious, I don't think, but I caught on.

So, man, keep freaking writing! I want to see the end of this story. Shoot, I might print it off and bind it so I can have it on the bookshelf next to the other HP books!

This is an incredible story.

Author's Response: Wow. Okay, for one, it is always nice to see people come back to these stories as you have, it hints at the possibility that I've written something truly engrossing and worth coming back to even after putting it down for a while. As for playing in Rowling's world, having only spent 2 hours in England, I don't know the country that well, however; that is the beauty of a world created with magic, it lends so much to creation and imagination. I've thoroughly enjoyed creating the Grove, and the Cathedral and the Gnaritas Fidelis library These locals that could only be in a world of magic, and let me hide the fact that I have very little knowledge of the country in which they are set. But locations are only one part of the world, the other part being the magic itself which I have taken a great many liberties with. I think what first got me thinking about this was that in the original books there is so much talk about "theory" but in practice, most magic comes down to waving a piece of wood and saying the words. So I wanted to expand upon that and put true theory behind the theory in the books. I wanted to show the kind of historical and cultural difference that might arise from magic usage and still hold true to a magical world that relies heavily upon wands and words. And so we have the scrolls from the asian lands which I believe to be the way at least in the Japanese culture magic is primarily signified with. In China I think there is much more emphasis placed upon reagents. And the masks (I can say this now that you've read up through the pupil), I dirived through the old tales of Witch Doctors and their large ornate masks and shaman powers. I've still another trick or two up my sleeve that I'll be curious to see if anyone gets. But what this has allowed me to do is really flesh out the physics of magic in such a way that does not infringe terribly upon the original skeleton of magic that Rowling provides. In a way, this has become something of a hidden character in this story, from the way Rathius employs his staff, to the Asiatic scrolls that seem to be so powerful. As for Adam betraying Ron and Harry, I did leave one blatant hint out there in the open, mainly as a kind of homage to Rowling who had the habit of naming her characters in such a way that really gave away who they were (r.j. LUPIN, SIRIUS black). Though I don't think I mention his last name beyond the first chapter, one should not forget the name Benedict as it pertains to American history. The boys, that was a very good catch, and I'm not sure how you picked up on that, though I suppose that could be a result of how much prominence they received in a story in which they would at least seem to be only bit players. Of course, this begs the question, have you solved the big mystery yet? Well, I intend to keep writing. The only reason why it's been such a long wait between this chapter and the next is because of the site problems. Chapter 18 actually had been validated but it got stuck in the queue, so after waiting a couple of days to see if it would get unstuck, I pulled it to hopefully make things easier on the moderators. The moment the site comes back up, I'll put up chapter 18 back in the queue, and hopefully a little note saying that it had already been validated will help speed the process along. As for Chapter 19, I'm about a third to a half of the way through writing it, but this is very rough writing that will no doubt require quite a bit of revision. On top of that, I think I may have a pacing error on my hands, one that will require me to reorganize how I do things because I don't think I'm going to get in my planned cliffie at the end of the chapter and still be under 10,000 words. I'll be highly disappointed if this is the case considering I have the next three or four chapters paced out very meticulously and I would hate to have to substitute the chapter 19 cliffie for something lesser. But in any case, I'm glad you're enjoying it, and am flattered you would have this boud. If you do decide to do that, let me know, I would like a picture. thank you again.

Name: Adelfore Flamell (Signed) · Date: 03/06/08 19:18 · For: Chapter 12: R.S.V.P.
woo... amazing discriptions of what it is like to be nuts! And i REALLY dont like the criminally insane dude working for the master... but like he said... they usually are the best...
Lovine every minute of it!

Author's Response: heh... What is so fun about this chapter is that it's not even so much its own chapter but a kind of prelude to the next. That's to say, everything in this chapter is an appetizer for what you got in store in the next one. Let's see; being nuts. I've absolutely no knowledge of this stuff, but one thing I do know is that insane asylums just have that good ol' fashioned creep factor to them, particularly the older ones that employed more draconian methods. But for the most part, what I know of mental illness I learned playing a video game a decently long while ago. For this reason, I really didn't delve too deep in territory that has already been charted but I am not familiar with. Again, this is one of the benefits of writing about a world of magic in that Dues Ex Machina is always around the corner... just say it's a magical malady! So I definitely was shameless in throwing in some cheap gotchas in there. As for the insane dude, he's among one of my favorite Nightshades in the bunch for reasons you are quite soon to see. I would say more but as I've said, this chapter is so closely tied to the next one that saying more might give something away.

Name: Adelfore Flamell (Signed) · Date: 03/05/08 23:49 · For: Chapter 10: Brothers
Damn Rook this is great! This story is exactly what i was searching for as far as a good read to take up some time. Im afraid it is taking up a bit too much time however! Eh... ill just have to deal. Cant wait to see what happens next!!!

Author's Response: I'm glad to not disappoint. And you'll forgive me for not feeling too terribly bad for taking up too much time. You know, I know it won't go down as one of my best chapters of all time but I think this is one of my favorites because I think this is the deepest we get into the Ratbone brothers. In a way it saddens me a little considering I won't be writing the stories to come after this one which means I don't get to explore these characters further and their relationship which is a pity because I love Ras and Rath, I love their relationship and it dynamic and I think the conversation on the bridge is just some of my personal favorite work. There's just so much there from Ras, unrequited fraternal love, admiration for his big brother, and yet the same distrust that everyone else has for Rathius which is odd given that Ras is probably the closest person on earth to Rath and yet he only trusts his brother so far. Like I said, I just love this dynamic and I'm sorry I won't be able to flesh it out more. As for what's next, you'll have to read on, but I can tell you that, much like the map of the world at the Gnaritas Fidelis library declares, "From here there be monsters."

Name: Adelfore Flamell (Signed) · Date: 03/05/08 22:50 · For: Chapter 9: In Memoria
HOOOOO Man. That was a chapter. No not just a chapter, THE chapter. The chapter to end all chapters! Damn Rook, i dont know what to say. You had me crying at the funeral - the "salute" was brilliant... and absolutely perfect. And then the end... well... thats was an unimaginable scene. The most important part though was that no matter how graphic it became, the emotion was never lost. The purpose was always evident... Damn that was surreal. I just cant get over the "whatever you need to do... do it to me" quote.
All in all, id say your best chapter yet.

Author's Response: Well, funeral first. I had some difficulty writing that one and had to start over a couple of times, but that was more for logistical purposes. I think initially I had them carrying out tonks' body in the coffin, but I was having a hard time finding the emotion there. I think it was because of the action, it would allow Ron to focus on something other than his own reaction and that of those around him, and I didn't want to grant that respite to the reader. Now, when it comes to the service itself, I had to model it after military services. For one, I treat the Aurors very much like a military branch here. But also, military funerals are particularly powerful and I think it is because of this very strong dichotomy you see there. Here you have this emotionally powerful and crippling experience, and in the face of it you have this razor sharp discipline. I think the two opposing forces here really feed each other more than they inhibit. And of course there is dying in the line of duty also. All in all just a really powerful atmosphere. So I went with that, the "Salute" bit obviously replacing the traditional twenty-one gun salute. The quote comes next (I wanted to save that scene for last). But I wanted to remark upon that quote you mention because it's something I've kind of struggled with since really the early stories, and that's Hermione's characterization, and really, this is where I might be critical of JKR. Ginny, Ron, Harry, those three I've had no problems maturing those characters and fleshing them out in the post Voldemort era. But Hermione continues to elude me and I think the reason for this is because she may be too archetypical of a character. With Harry I kind of latched onto a kind of internalization of emotions; here's a guy who would be almost like a fifties nuclear dad, you know, Father Knows Best kind of father/traditional man. Amicable, yet not commonly flapped. Ron on the other side, the two things that really guided me was how he showed his emotion, he couldn't helpit, and a kind of brimming intellect under the surface in the first book that became tragically scarce throughout the series. Even Ginny, a bit player throughout, had a kind of feistiness that made it easy for me to extrapolate. But Hermione just struck me as stereotypical book worm with heart and I've continued to struggle with maturing that into a full functioning adult. Thus, she's kind of relegated to a support Ron role. At the sametime, that quote, I loved that quote because I think that might have been the closest I came to really bringing her as an adult character--knowing what Ron needs, when he needs it showing off her intelligence, and the resolve to do it a tip towards her loyalty. Keep in mind, she doesn't know if he's going to get it on with her or beat the piss out of her, she doesn't care. Which brings us to the scene in question, and I'll be totally honest, I think what helped me more than anything is not any kind of writing ability on my part so much as my apprehensions as to what this site would consider appropriate or not. It's like, if you ever saw "Six Degrees of Separation" there's a scene where Kirk Douglass talks about a teacher having kids producing unusually powerful works of art, and she explains her trick was to know when to take the brush away. I was reading today and in the book there was a love scene in it and I could hardly bear to read because I've read the same love scene over and over again in countless books and it's so cliche and so graphic and there's nothing behind it but a temporary surge in the groin area and the reason why is because the author equates a raunchy gratuitous love scene to good story telling. For me, to make a love scene work, you have to have motive and you have to have the right way of conducting it. Here we have motive plain as day swirling around in the charged aftermath of a funeral where the need for sex is buried in both the need for a life affirming act but also in the need to release the tension and negativity that had been building in Ron since the Nightshade case began. But how to go about it? That's where the site kicked in. I was apprehensive because I didn't want to get rejected for trying to float porn and I also know I have some young readers and I didn't want something that was going to be inappropriate for them to read (granted, it's still inappropriate but not on the level of bow chicka bow wow stuff). And so I set about a very deliberate way of writing it, one in which we focus more on the sensations than the body parts, we focus on the peripheries as well so that ultimately what we have is an experience that is not just *hehehe, he put his thing in her thing*, but instead one where you know what's going on, you feel what's going on and it creates certain sensations within the reader, yet at the same time we know why and how. And the restrictions of the site helped so much because it took away my brush, it kept me from getting raunchy and in so doing I think the true essence of the scene came out. I wanted it to be sexual and arousing, but at the same time I wanted it in context. And thus far every indication I've had has bore me out. A little side note, an actual small time publisher actually read this bit and through a friend relayed the idea that I should write Harlequin romance for a while just to break into writing. Meh, not my bag really. Anyway, thank you so much. Now get to more reading and reviewing because if you thought this was the best chapter yet I still have some chapters waiting that I'm eager to get your opinion on.

Name: Adelfore Flamell (Signed) · Date: 03/05/08 12:19 · For: Chapter 8: Tempus Fugit
Good Lord Rook... My heart is still going a thousand miles an hour.... I cant believe tonks... with her daughter and everything. Thats rough i have to tell you. Boy you sure know how to keep the reader in DIRE NEED to get the the end of the chapter. I was doing the whole "scroll one line at a time" thing by the end of this. I do agree that is was rushed... but i think you did it the right way. When presented correctly, the rushing just helps reinforce the mood all the better. I couldn't have seen this presented any differently.

Author's Response: Well, an interesting thing about this story is that it has really done a lot to teach me about pacing. You know, all the other stories have been largely monotone, the same thing going over and over again, and I'm not dissing my own writing, but I am saying that the pacing kind of set itself. Here, there's so many different directions going from one chapter to the next that pacing becomes a real logistical issue. And still, it's very fun, and this chapter here really kind of loosened me up and made it possible for me to write the chapter I am writing right now the way I'm writing it. Anyway, moving on to the next review. Thanks man!

Name: Adelfore Flamell (Signed) · Date: 03/04/08 22:14 · For: Chapter 5: Infinitialus Locusio
Rook!!! Darn its been a long time. But I'm back!! I must say, I was searching for a good story to read and i kept striking out. i went through about 10 without getting into it - when i remembered that i never finished reading this story... and it is exactly how i remember it: Fantastic!! i look forward to reading the rest of it!

Author's Response: Woot! As you know I'm pretty stoked about this... Always great to have an old reader come back. Also, I'm terribly honored that I stack up against competition. Well, you've already got two other reviews I need to respond to, so let's get to it.

Name: ObsEssedHRHLS (Signed) · Date: 02/28/08 11:19 · For: Chapter 1: The Recruit
I love the part about their portraits in the office. It seems so like them. "And you failed." I love that line.

Author's Response: Hermunculus criticizes this bit of description down below, and has a fair point or two to make, but I think your reaction is exactly what I was intending here. When I set about describing the office, my initial intent was not so much to give a clear picture, but instead to use the description of that office to kind of show off how Harry and Ron have grown in the past sixteen years. Instead of saying, "Okay, this is everything you missed and I wasn't particularly fussed to write about", I used the ability to fill in the office with time, and tell that story that way. So thank you, and I hope you don't mind but I also want to use this space to make an announcement that goes out to everyone. I know they may not read this, but if I put this stuff out over the next few reviews, hopefully a good chunk of people will eventually get what I wanted to say. First: Chapter 18 is written and complete. It was in queue and had actually been validated but then there was a problem actually getting it posted. I have since deleted the chapter, and am waiting until the site gets fixed in order to repost it. So, for once, the long delay is not actually my fault! Though, don't take that as license to start harrassing the mods. They're doing the best they can. Second: It's been about a year at least since the last time I had built up a buffer of writing. But I'm happy to say that I started working on Chapter 19 after much procrastination. We're going to see how the next few days go, and maybe I'll have two completed chapters by the time things are good for me to start updating again! So please be patient, and I'm as anxious as anyone else to get this story moving along again. Thanks for the review, and thanks for letting me use this space for my own means.

Name: lzweig (Signed) · Date: 02/26/08 7:30 · For: Chapter 17: The Pupil
I was just wondering, the Pupil is named Eric, or so he says. Then, the regular who wants to be an auror is also Eric. Is there a connection there? Or was that just because you liked the name so much.

Anyway, thanks for such a great story. I hope the next chapter comes soon! The suspense is killing me!!

Author's Response: Really? They both felt like Erics. I did like the name, common enough and all that. But I think there is a more thematic tie that goes into my decision to give them the same first name. Not that they were the same person, of course not, we know that. But if we look at the different statuses of the two characters, there are definitely similarities. Both have engendered respect and affection from the two key antagonistic characters in this story; Solstrom gaining Ron's appreciation through his work ethic as a regular, and the Pupil in being the Master's prodigy. We also not necessarily know, but can infer that both characters are superior amongst their peers. So, when I chose their names, there was definitely an analogous effort in showing that they were very similar in character but chose to serve different masters, and in the end, both died in the service of their masters. I wish I could give you better news on when the next chapter will be up but that is up to the moderators. I submitted the next chapter a while ago, but because of the database glitches, I've elected to delete the chapter to help facilitate whatever it is they're trying to do with the site. So, as much as I hate to say it, your best bet is to keep an eye on the news posts on the main page. As soon as the mods give us a thumbs up to start posting again, I'll get chapter 18 up and I'll coax myself into starting work on Chapter 19 which should prove to be exciting. Thank you so much, and hope it's not too long before this story can get up and running again.

Name: HJPX (Signed) · Date: 02/15/08 7:15 · For: Chapter 17: The Pupil
why the bloody fuck isnt the next chapter validated yet

Author's Response: sigh... It has been validated but the moderators have said it got stuck in the queue, or some such. They said they were going to try and push it out of the queue, but that was about a week ago now. If you want, you are welcome to ask them about it in the top news post on the main page. I'm really sorry about this.

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