MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: TheSmirkingDragon (Signed) · Date: 04/30/10 16:20 · For: Nicholas Regretful
Wow. Pretty!

I enjoyed your pattern. It was a bit sing-songish, but more of a chantish sound as I read it in my head. It all felt natural to me, though your usage of commas seemed off to me. In lines like

"Condemned as a ghost,"

I don't think the comma was necessary. I was confused by it, and it made me pause while I was reading because it threw off my rhythm. You don't need to end every line with some form of punctuation.

You expressed Nearly Headless Nick rather well while staying in the limits of your rhyme and meter. I'm sure he regrets his decision to stay behind in this world, and you expressed that particularly well.

I'm surprised you didn't delve into the circumstances of his death further(beheading is rather odd for a wizard, and I would be interested to see your take of it), but I suppose it might have been difficult to fit in well.

I think you've put down the essence of how Nick must feel looking back at his choices, and I applaud you for it. I'm glad I clicked on this!

Name: Luna_Lovegood11 (Signed) · Date: 04/12/08 19:59 · For: Dear Friar
I was reading reviews for Schmergo's new story and I noticed your, once again, since I've seen reviews of yours before, colorful review. I decided to check out your stories, and I did! Fantastic.

Author's Response: Yay! New reviews! My humble thanks! These stories are pretty old, but I'm glad you think they're fantstic! I was on your author's page, and I'll definitely have to check out some of your stories. ~ H_o_I_

Name: Euphrates (Signed) · Date: 02/23/07 22:08 · For: Dear Friar
(Someone other than me reviewed? Ha ha, sorry....)

Oooh...this is different from your other chapters! I love the change. Your other chapters were wrought with sorrow and doubt, but this one is lighter and only a tad uncertain. Way to throw me for a loop... :-) Kidding. Moving on.

Of course, being me, I love the slightly darker parts of this poem (i.e. So why do I feel somber / In that dark time called night, / When my conscience is failing, / When the memories fight?). They are, of course, extremely well written, as is the rest of the poem.

I really do feel as if I am inside their heads. Sorta freaky how you do that so well...*eyes you* are you a ghost? *shrinks away*

Okay, just kidding. If you were a ghost I don't think you could use a computer...

Well, lovely job!

~Tyger, tyger, burning bright - Euphrates

Author's Response: *is obviously seething* I...have...written...this...response...thrice...I...am...mad... So, thanks for reviewing! *shock and awe* You feel like you're in their heads? Woah...And no, I'm as much of a person as Voldemort is. *cough* Felt like a lighter poem...Not TOO depressing, but still kind of...What else? Oh, yes: I was amazed when someone else reviewed. Kudos to you! Alway's chek you're speling!~H_o_I_

Name: Feather Hawkins (Signed) · Date: 02/23/07 19:36 · For: Nicholas Regretful
What if the ghosts CAN cross to the other relm when they're ready, though? It's nice, but you might need to alter it on July 21st.

Author's Response: I have no idea...*sticks out bottom lip* I don't WANT to change it! haha..No idea, might not, even if it's AU...~H_o_I_

Author's Response: Thanks for revieweing!~H_o_I_

Name: Tagidi Riva (Signed) · Date: 02/23/07 12:22 · For: Dear Friar
I just read all the poems and they are very good. You capture each of them so well. Kudos on taking each one of them on. Writing with in set perimeters can be hard but yours was spot on.

Author's Response: Wow, thanks! Capture? Well?=D Thanks again!~H_o_I_

Name: Euphrates (Signed) · Date: 02/09/07 13:48 · For: Woe Upon the Bloody Baron
Darn! That last review was supposed to be for this chapter...sorry. :-)

Um, this isn't spam. Really. Because I love Heiress' works!!

~Tyger, tyger, burning bright - Euphrates

Author's Response: It's ok, I don't really pay attention to which chapters are reviewed, unless the person says something that confuses me...In fact, I hadn't even noticed that it was under 'NR' until I had read this!=)~H_o_I_

Name: Euphrates (Signed) · Date: 02/09/07 13:47 · For: Nicholas Regretful
Aw! Richard is so cute! Okay, I'll review again!

This new chapter is amazing. All the ghosts aren't sure they made the right decision to become a gjost, but you've taken those feelings and really made the come to life. (That was so totally intended. Come to life...ghosts...never mind.)

Of course, I love your repetition in this, especially at the end. Waiting to die. He waits, but it will never come...man, that would be, like, bad. I waited for a month to get something and it was bad. Imagine waiting for eternity.....knowing it'll never happen....

Wonderful job! I love it! (When is someone else going to review? They're like, not. Only I have! Must be annoying, to you...)

...When will there be new chapters?

~Tyger, tyger, burning bright - Euphrates

(Is your tooth okay? You were freaking out before... :-)

Author's Response: Richard says thank you... You really think that it's amazing??? Yay! I started cracking up when I read the 'ghosts come to life' part. I don't know why...Maybe I'm just like that? I would hate waiting for an eternity too...blech...And no worries, you're not annoying me at all!=)~H_o_I_ Yes, my tooth is fine, it just kind of hurt, if you couldn't tell...=D

Name: Euphrates (Signed) · Date: 02/07/07 14:04 · For: Grief of the Grey Lady
I can see why you like this one better (not that Nick's wasn't good) - this one has a lot more sadness in it. (Not that that makes it better...oh, forget it. I just like this better because for some insane reason, sad stuff is better in my opinion. Not that good stuff is bad...*sighs, shakes head, and gives up* Just know I'm not insulting anyone...)

Okay. Start over and just pretend I said 'I like this better'. There. Sheesh.

My favorite part:
Fore’er condemned to walk the earth.
Fore’er condemned to sigh.
Fore’er condemned to wallow
In my ghostly misery,

Again with the repetition! I love your repetition - it always flows so well together and sounds natural. And when you pack it with emotion...amazing.

I like your description of 'silver tears' for some reason...

Okay, I admit, I tried to find something wrong with this...and did not. :-)

~Tyger, tyger, burning bright - Euphrates

Author's Response: Thanks, again! And don't worry about offending me or anything...OW! I just pulled my tooth! It hurts! owowowowowowowowowowowowow! Anyways...I like the 'silver tears' too, no idea why. I just do... You didn't find anything wrong? Cool! It got rejected once because I hadn't put a full stop on the last line...Thanks again!~H_o_I_ My mouth hurts...ow...

Name: Euphrates (Signed) · Date: 02/01/07 8:00 · For: Nicholas Regretful
Great rhyming! I've never read a poem from a ghost's point of view before. Interesting. I like the repetition, too, with that one line or so. Good job.

Hmm....my favorite part? Don't know if I have one - this is all so good.

The repetition is great, here:
I still can think.
I still can sigh.
I still can talk.
I cannot die.

And the rhyming is perfect!

Great job. You beat me, eh? (I swear, I tried writing something last night, really, but then it all sounded really bad, and I mean really bad, so I scrapped it and hit the sack.)

I love it! Another great installment from Heiress of Insanity!

~Tyger, tyger, burning bright - Euphrates

Author's Response: Really? Thanks! That would probably have to be my favorite part too. It was originally going to be the ending, but I decied to write more 'cause it was too short. Thanks again~H_o_I_ PS Did you hear the NEWS? HP release date, YAY!

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