That's so sad.
But in the REAL books, Bellatrix woujld never have cried over a child,even if it was hers, but this isn't real HP. This is FanFiction.
Author's Response: A much younger Bella may have been different, even in canon.
I love the fic. It is deeply moving cause it is so sad. To have lost someone before their time, especially in a miscarriage, just seems so unfair.
But because the unfairness of it all, and maybe because Bella is slightly to blame since she was still doing missions for the Dark Lord, I would have expected her to act just a little crazy by it. Just give her a hint of her instability. Make it more heated. Make her more vicious like how wounded animals sometimes lash out when they're being helped.
“I killed her,” Bella cried out as she buried her head in Rodolphus’ chest.
I would have expected her to be pounding in his chest like she's trying to hurt him. Because sometimes, when you deeply feel that you are at fault for something, then words or acts of comfort could almost seem patronizing.
And some people lash out even more, and sometimes more violently , when people act kind to them cause they do feel unworthy
But all in all, I love the fic. I sometimes forget that Bella was proably a sane girl before she caught up in Voldemort's mess and sent to Azkaban.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review, and I'm glad you liked the story.
I like your idea of portraying Bella in a more vicious way. The reason I didn't go that way was because I saw her more as beaten, defeated. She wouldn't have had the energy to push Rodolphus away.
Anyway, thanks again for the lovely review!
Did you have to pick such a tear jerker for the review? Its really hard to type when you can't see because you're crying uncontrollably.
*tries hard to stop crying, and wipes away her tears*
Anyway, This was beautiful, in a sad cruel way. It was wonderfully well-written and the plot was very good. You have a wonderful way with words.
I never really liked Bella, first for all the pain she caused Neville, and second she killed Sirius. But you've made me feel sorry for her, and see that though she may be flawed, she is still a human being with feelings.
This was truly heart-wrenching. I had a feeling from the very begining that she had ended getting her child killed, but what you wrote was so much more, it was aweful, but wonderfully written.
Poor poor Bella and Rodolphus, that was a terrible thing. Amazing job, this was a truly wonderful and extremely powerfully emotional piece.
Great job, I will have to read your others thought that may take quite a bit of time, but eventually I will do it.
Author's Response: *smiles* I wanted to pick one of my favorites. I am very proud of this tear jerker.
I'm glad you liked it so much, and that it made you so emotional. That means a lot to me.
And yes, Bella is indeed human. She has done horrible things, but she still has feelings and motivations. Her sole purpose isn't to cause pain.
Anyway, thank you so much for the truly wonderful review. You almost made me cry too. So thank you, thank you, thank you!
This story is very bittersweet. I shall now explain myself:
Bitter- Bella really loves Rodolphus, and only wants the best for him, and she blames herself because her child died. This is the bitter element.
Sweet-That the child won't have to deal with being a Death Eater. Also, the Lestrange's great love for one another.
It's a fantastic, but tragic contrast.
Author's Response: Thank you, Hailey. I'm glad you enjoyed it. And you're absolutly right, it is rather bitttersweet. Thanks so much for leaving a review.
And omg, thank you for dedicating this to me!!!! Ahhh, i feel so honored!!!! *huggles*
Author's Response: *smiles* Your welcome. I didn't think anyone else would appreciate it as much as you. :D
Oh my goodness, how amazingly depressing and lovely and beautifully written. I loved how Rodolphus was crying. It humanized him in a way that only you could. This fic really moved me and is definately going on my favorites. You've done it again, Sly Severus. Thanks for the great read and congrats on being a great writer.
Author's Response: *huggles* Thanks so much. I'm so glad to see you back!
This was actually even emotional to write. It was a very strange experience and it has made this story one of my favorites, as well. Thanks again, for the compliments.
Aww! Elle that was beautiful! You really do have that ability to make a person cry.
That really was one of the best pecies of work that I've read on this site. The emotion that was emmited from it was amazing! Truly wonderful. I loved the imagery of her standing on the gorge and crying, it would make a great movie ;)
You just made me cry and that's really saying something. I just looooooooooooved it. You really do know how to write Bella :)
Author's Response: *huggles Roop*
Wow! Thank you so much.
I'm really glad the emotion came through. This was difficult to write, in away, as I found myself becoming very emotionally attached.
Thanks, again. This review really made me smile.
*huggles Roop for making me happy* *huggles Bella for supplying a wonderful escape from reality and just being so great to write*
Elle – look what you’ve done now! :p I’m actually crying. I think that this is one of your best stories ever, though they’re all awesome…heh.
I was wondering all the way through who it was that Bella had killed. You (cleverly) had made it sound as if she was upset/traumatised because she had killed for the Dark Side for the first time. When I read the part about the crib and realised what this was about, I was just speechless. Seriously, this plot was so fantastic.
Bellatrix Lestrange sat on a large rock overlooking the gorge. Tears streamed down her face and she couldn’t help but think everything would be better if she just jumped.
Such a powerful start to the story! It really caught my attention and kept me reading. This ‘desperate’ version of Bella was quite paining but realistic to read. We rarely see her so upset, but then again she’s never been in such a situation in canon. Seeing how passionate she usually is about her beliefs, and how fiery she is when angry, it’s easy to imagine the lengths to which her desperation would be as well, and I think your portrayal is just perfect.
I love Rodolphus in this as well. It’s…um…different and…er..refreshing. *snicker*
I think that you’ve written both versions of Rodolphus excellently though. It’s nice to see him caring for Bella once in a while. This side of him really brought tears to my eyes – the fact that he is willing to forgive Bella and still love her and live with her despite the loss of their child gives such emphasis to their love. *wipes tear*
Going into that room was one of the hardest things she had ever been asked to do. She could sense the kind of emotion that would hit her when she entered and she wasn’t at all certain that she was ready to deal with it.
Those lines say something. Bella has the courage to face Voldemort, and whether she regrets her actions or not, she has the strength and stamina to kill. She doesn’t shy away from most duties, and yet she cannot do this. To me this seems as if she cares a lot more for her family and ‘love’ than she cares to admit.
The crib sat in the corner with the large white teddy bear, waiting for a child that would never be born.
Aww! This and all the lines after it that describe what the child could have been/done are so sad! I can see the image really clearly in my mind, of a room that is all ready with toys for the baby due, perhaps decorated, and with lots of baby clothes in the wardrobe…that will never be used. *sigh*
Just a tiny nitpick: No child would ever call her Mommy. She could never give her husband an heir.
Brits call their mothers “Mummy” if they use that version of the term. :) Other than that, the line was great – so vivid, it makes me want to reach out and give Bella and Rodolphus a cuddle.
I really loved this story, Elle. You always enter so many challenges with such amazing entries, and this was no exception! *huggles* The best of luck! *fingers crossed*
Author's Response: *huggles Suzie* This couldn't have come at a better time. You really gave me a much needed boost. *huggles Suzie again*
I will admit that I am rather proud of this story. It's one of my favorites and it has been rather neglected in the review area, but your review was wonderful! Although, I do apologize for making you cry.
I am very pleased to hear that you didn't realize what had happened until the end of the story, that was the idea, but I was worried I gave it away.
*smiles* People argue with me on a lot of aspects of Bella, but I must say no one has ever tried to convince me that she's not passionate. I felt that her passion was extra strong in this piece and its one of the many things I truly love about it. Thank you so much for your compliments in this area.
*giggles* Everyone likes my kind Rodolphus better. I don't know why my original take on him was so negative. He hasn't even spoken in canon! However, rather Rodolphus is kind or evil tends to change with my mood these days. I think this is my kindest portrayl of him to date though. In my mind, a husband would be forgiving in this instance. It really wasn't her fault, despite what she might believe in grief stricken state. There was a better chance that she would have escaped the battle in good health than there was that she would escape the Dark Lord in good health if she refused his order. She did the best she could and he knew that. Her grief at having lost their child would have been clear to anyone.
And the room. It was hard for because of her current state. She is normally strong and able to face what is required of her, but to come face to face with what she has lost, it was a big step. I do believe Bella cares about her family and she has admitted at least that she cares for Cissy in canon. However, I believe she cares for some of her umm...more distanced relatives more than she would like to admit. With passion and emotion that we have seen from her, albeit a little insane at times, there is no way anyone can convince me that she has no feelings. And I will always believe that she has a connection with her family that she may sometimes like to pretend isn't there, but it will never go away.
I fixed Mummy. Thank you for pointing it out.
So I just went through this paragraph by paragraph and responded. I hope it makes a little bit of sense. I wish I could quote like we do on the fourms.
Anyway, thank you, thank you, thank you. *huggles Suzie* This review was truly wonderful. I love to see this story getting some attention. *more huggles*
Awwww....so sad...beautiful and sadistic! OHH!! GREAT IDEA! : What if yoiu did a little twist on this fic, (maybe not fully explain the 'incident' leave something for the imagination) but what if...TONKS is Bella's daughter!!
~The Tianted One
Author's Response: Ha! That is so weird. I actually thought of that just a few days ago. I thought it would be an interesting idea. I don't think I'll ever use it though. It just doesn't seem to fit into anything. I definitly wouldn't use it with this story. It was meant to be a tragedy.
Anyway, thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked it, even without a few twists.
*goes and cries in a corner**comes back* Yay, first review!
That was very emotional, very well done. It was hard for me to take it in properly though because the last fic I read from you was Broken & Scarred, so I kept on waiting for Rodolphus to... yeah.
Anyways, you kept a nice suspense throughout the one-shot while still keeping me focused on what was happening, which I thought was pretty much impossible until now.
I loved the paragraph of what Bella realised her daughter would never experience. It reenforced what you were saying throughout the story while kind of concluding it.
Another excellent story:)!
Author's Response: *Shudders* You went from Broken and Scarred to his one? That must have been an interesting experience. I never really thought of anyone doing that.
Anyway, this is a very different version of Rodolphus. He's a difficult character for me so I've been playing with him a bit. It's interesting to write him in different extremes.
Anyway, I'm really glad you liked it. I got toally caught up in this one. It was even hard for me to write. I ended up getting really invested in what was happening. So it really means a lot to hear that it had an impact on someone else.
Thanks so much for the review, Roxanne.