I feel that this story began wonderfully, and your description of Severus’ death was chilling however, from what we’ve seen of Snape, he’s always listened to Dumbledore. He may not always have liked, but he always has sucked it up and dealt with the hand he’s been given. I think that you miscalculated Severus’ character after he woke up, and when he woke Draco up. Draco’s name is in the warning “draco dormiens nunquam titillandus”. I think that perceptive Severus would notice and be suspicious of Draco from then on. He’s a smart man, with keen observation skills. I doubt that he would make such a grave mistake, even if he believed Draco was his friend of sorts. Dumbledore was Severus’ friend, and Severus killed him. Some say Lily was Severus’ friend, and he helped to betray her. He would probably have been more than willing to leave Draco to sleep and gone. Or perhaps even put a sleeping charm on Draco while he was away, just to be sure.
Draco’s characterization, too, conflicted with what we’ve seen of him. We know he is not a murderer. He balked on the Lightning-Struck Tower, why would he kill Severus, who’s been nothing but kind to him, and acted as his protector?
Despite this, I think that, had it been two other characters, this would have been an excellent example of cognative dissonance, believing one thing although you know the contrary is true.
Author's Response: wow, thank you very much for that excellent critique! and in terms of canon, I absolutely believe everything you've pointed out. that said, I hope you don't mind if I say a few things to defend my work a bit. first off, this isn't my theory on what will happen or what is possible, not even close. In this tangent of mine, Draco, while not strong on the tower, is working alone now. he has been pushed to a level of brutal cruelty, something that he has held inside where Snape can't see. and as for his name being in the warning, it was an intentional mislead, and Dumbledore's description of the 'dragon' indicates someone powerful and deceptive, something Snape may not have thought to apply to Draco who is young and rather cowardly in his opinion. the whole theme of it is about taking important things for granted, missing things that are right in front of you. Snape woke up intending to do exactly as Dumbledore asked him, but he miscalculated to his cost. I really do appreciate your in depth analysis of my little story. It helps more than you know.
Wonderful job, but *yikes* that is dark! :) It is a really intriguing premise - are you going to continue any stories with Draco in this role? I thought you did a great job with Snape's character, and I really enjoyed his conversation with Dumbledore. The headmaster did a terrific job of remaining cryptic. I thought the sleeping dragon might have been Snape himself, until Draco refused to wake up. Wonderful job setting up the suspense! You write very well - good luck with the challenge!! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: thanks for the glowing review, Gina! I truly despised my treatment of Draco in this, as I prefer him in a 'fallen angel' type of role, but he is quite fun and scary like this...so more may come of it... i'm really very glad you enjoyed!
Wow. I'm speechless... completely blown away! These dark types of stories are the kind that you write best. This reminded me a lot of Hollow only without the underlying sorrow. My sentences are really choppy. I can't form complete thoughts. Seriously, this story is rivaling Hollow as my favorite. Alright I'll try to actually write something that will make more sense. Hahaha. Let's see... I love love love the plot. Very creative. Very original. I have no idea how you think of these things. Your writing is so powerful and emotive. For the first time in my life, I actually pitied Snape. I truly do mean the first time... ever. Maybe that's why I'm so taken aback? I seriously can't stand Snape and here you have me all mad that he died. I can't believe it. Lol. I absolutely adored your first paragraph. Amazing description. And the end with the changed Draco gave me chills! Overall it was a truly amazing read. I give you 100/10. Please write another story soon. I can't wait to see what you come up with next! Oh, and sorry for how random this review seems. I still haven't fully recovered.
Author's Response: you're too kind!! Snape is a peculiar character...there are times that I hate him too, but he's so fascinating that I have to give him the respect and yes, the pity he deserves. i'm very glad you liked it. as for Draco, I adore him and hated making him so cruel, but all is fair in love and fanfiction...thanks for your review...more to come soon!
Wow that was really really good
Author's Response: thanks ever so much!!