Reviews For Just Another Night
Reviewer: callmehermione
Date: 02/24/08 17:48
Chapter: Chapter 1

I like the setting you introduced from the beginning - the noisy pub, crowded with occupants, seems perfect for some private thinking. Where is the pub, though? You may want to explain that to show why more than one wizard appears randomly on the same day.

It's Ogden's Old Firewhisky, not Ogden's Fire Whiskey. And Ginny, to me, doesn't seem the type to keep an alcohol stash - she may have a drink with her friends occasionally, but a 'drinker' doesn't fit with anything we've really seen of her.

Ginny Weasley had never looked like this, at least, not to him. I love the last part, where Draco acknowledges that Ginny may indeed have appeared as she did to him at that moment to someone else before.

Then she had with Potter.... Did you mean 'been with'?

How come Potter got the strong, able, and proud sidekick? That's cute. Keep in mind, though, that Potter has lots of sidekicks. Maybe you could add an 's' to that?

If this was heaven, he would have killed himself ages ago. This took me a minute to understand, but that's how the best sort of writing is. It's really a lovely line.

Your ending is so powerful that adding the ellipsis (...) just takes away from its beauty.

Thank you for this lovely story.

Author's Response: Thanks! Wow, I haven't updated anything on this site in forever. I really reccomend my other story, honestly, but I think it's been archived so I'm not sure if it's accessable. If you'd like to read that, just shoot me a comment or whatever and I'll email you. Great comment though, writers love hearing all that. =D Heh, I love that line too. Better yet, I didn't take it from something....

Reviewer: WunderWitch
Date: 02/17/07 20:26
Chapter: Chapter 1

awwwww, how incredibly cute! you should add more!!

Author's Response: thanks! I didn't really like this one just because it was so... argh. I wanna say boring. I did have a little bit after this, but hardly enough for a story. I would definately reccomend my other story over this one. there is some cute stuff in it too!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Epithalamium by Squibstress Professors
Minerva McGonagall is a bright, talented witch with dreams of becoming the first...
The Marred Boy by Padfoot11333 1st-2nd Years
The two Marauders who were outcasts in their own homes. I am Padfoot11333...
A Seer Named Rosemary Snape by PlutoLovegood 3rd-5th Years
In 2018 Neville and Harry deliver a Hogwarts acceptance letter to Rosemary Snape...
FEATURED
whimper by psijupiter 6th-7th Years
I play to my strengths. As do we all. In the midst of the first wizarding...
Over A Mug of Tea by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
I think of her as a sister. The words rang clearly, loudly in his mind. I...
Gaps Between by lucca4 6th-7th Years
Falling in love teaches Dennis Creevey that sometimes, needing someone isn't...
To Fear the Flame by Acacia Carter 3rd-5th Years
Neville hadn't expected his boggart to ever change. Perhaps he should have done.
Good King Ragnuk by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Ragnuk, King of the Goblins and master silversmith, forged a sword for Godric...
CATEGORIES