aw! i love molly/arthur fics, but (sadly) theres not many on MNFF. :( i love urs though!
three letters. W. O. W. and O. M. G.
Author's Response: Haha, why thank you- that's very flattering!
That was sweet and intresting.I have never read a Arthur/Molly fic but you did a really good job!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! You don't see many Arthur/Molly fics around but they were young once! Phily :)
I read this a while ago, but only just now realized that I never left a review! Sorry about that....
Anyhow, this was such a cute story! I was giggling so hard when the girls were plotting how to use their love potions.
And when Claire added that she thought that Molly and Arthur were engaged already, I couldn't help but smile at how correct she was.
And how Molly puts up with Arthur's obsession with Muggles....that was funny! I could completely see him talking so seriously about telephones!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the compliments! :D I'm glad this one still gets some reads (it's my little baby first writing attempt). Glad you enjoyed! Phily :)
I read this a while ago, but I didn't review. Excellent one-shot! I am looking for such fics, Molly/Arthur, you showed them very sweetly. I hope you'll have great fics for showing, because you have lovely writing style. *winks*
Author's Response: Haha! I just left you a review, too, Sophia! :D Thank you very much! I have been having problems getting anything chaptered on here but will keep trying! My next one-shot (for the secret badger) is with my beta for the final time! Thank you for the review! Phily :)
Hey P, I just read your story!
I thought it was really good! And the bit about the burping hex actually made me snort with laughter.
Author's Response: Hi, Jo! Thanks for reading! Lol, how strange when I'm usually the one reading all your stuff! Welcome to MNFF! :D Glad you enjoyed and hope your computer didn't bear the brunt of any of that snorting there! Lol, sorry! Thanks again, Phily :)
Aww, how cute! :)
I just love the idea for this fic! Molly/Arthur and three love potions = joy.
“So, who are the three poor and unsuspecting boys you will be poisoning this evening?”
Hehe, I love that! It made me smile. :)
“So, tell me more about, what were they? Telephones?” Molly said, continuing their previous conversation.
Omgosh, probably my favorite line in here. This is so IC for both Molly and Arthur, it's sweet. Telephones... *goes off laughing*
*remembers she hasn't finished her review and comes back*
As Jemima described her day with Samuel Green, whose love potion had overcome him to such an extent that he couldn’t stop reciting Shakespeare’s sonnets to her, the others roared uncontrollably with laughter.
Emma had indeed got her revenge on Jessica Patterson, however she had described her day as “one of the dreariest days she had ever had,” and claimed to have fallen asleep several times. Clare seemed to have had the best luck of them all, having lost Patrick Boot early that morning. Apparently, the love potion had had a particularly strange effect on him, causing him to wander off at random intervals.
Very creative effects! I loved it, and it's so original! Usually, love potion fics turn out fluffy and sugary-sweet, but this is much better. :D
It’s still early with Arthur, we’ll see, she thought to herself. But as she drifted off, she couldn’t help but imagine the little farmhouse they would own. I’ll have to see what Arthur would think, but I definitely want a big family with at least five children. And that night was the first of many that Molly slept with a smile plastered across her face.
Hehe, cool. Farmhouse and the five children. I like how you inserted that.
Phily~ Loved it and I can't wait for more. So now I shall go and beta your Remus/Tonks! :)
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, Mari! :D I'm glad you liked it! I think I have said this before but I think I can get away with repeating it on my own author's page, haha! I got the idea from Molly telling Hermione and Ginny about a love potion she had made in her youth and them all giggling lots, so I wanted it to have that kind of feeling to it. Light hearted and a bit of fluff never hurt anyone, after all! :) The serious stuff can come later! Phily :)
I really liked this story. My favorite part was:
Molly was willing to bet that between the three boys, they wouldn’t even be able to spell ‘Valentine’s Day’
I can think of quite a few boys who would probably fit that description. I also like how you ended it. Molly dreaming about the future was a nice touch because we all know what happens. :)
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review, KitKat! :) Yes, sadly I think quite a few boys fit the description! Hehe, nothing against boys though, obviously! Glad you enjoyed and thanks again! Phily :)
“And we will not be poisoning them, just helping them realise their true feelings,” she added mischievously.
Ha ha. That made me laugh.
This was a great story! Very mischevious on the girls' part!
I love your eneding; it's kind of like a cliffie that we know is going to happen already, yet we want you to write more.
This was very creative; I hope to see ore from you soon!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for reading and reviewing, Lindsey! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I was actually planning on ending ironically with Molly thinking that she would only ever want 1 or 2 children or something, but I thought people would be like "Huh?? This writer doesn't really know her facts!" Lol alternate ending........ Thanks again! Phily :)
This was a really sweet story! Molly and Arthur are so seldom written about, and it makes the story stand out even more than it would anyway.
I think you captured the possible origins of their relationship beautifully. Their interactions were so sweet; you wrote them like they had a strong bond from the very beginning, which is perfect. I also love Molly's interactions with her friends; her strength of personality shines through but there beneath her will is her more sentimental side, which is Molly through-and-through. And it's very cute to think that Arthur was just the same at Hogwarts, loving Muggles and all. =)
"The next morning dawned and contrary to popular belief, the skies were not filled with pink, heart-shaped clouds." And I really loved the touches like these - thoughts and details that made it a real pleasure to read. =) Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it! It's great that the Puffs' Valentine's challenge gave me an idea for this, as I never would have thought to write about Molly and Arthur before. I really enjoyed it though because I could make my own idea up of how they would be. Thank you for taking the time to R and R, it has cheered me up a lot! :D Phily :)
I thought this was pretty good. It was refreshing to see a Molly/Arthur fic.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading! They aren't perhaps such a popular pairing to write about but I found it interesting! Phily :)
I thought this was really sweet and nicely written. I loved the idea behind it and I hope you J/L fic gets validated soon
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I hope so too, my first rejection was a little disappointing but I'm very determined. Thanks for reading and taking the time to review! Phily :)
The first thing I noticed when I began to read your story is the paragraphs. They are really large and quite hard to read. This is because you didn't correctly break up you dialogues, so it is one big paragraph. This could have been a formatting issue, but it seems that it was an accident. The rule is to begin a new paragraph when a new person begins speaking. This would dramatically shrink the paragraphs, better the grammar, and make it easier to read.
They were her fellow Gryffindors; Jemima Rosewater, Emma Sheraton and Clare Harrison.
The semicolon in this sentence should be a regular colon, as a list follows it.
“Come on, Molly, why don’t you help us? We could do with some of your expertise in this subject,” chided Emma, grinning over at her.
I don't think "chided is the right word to use here, as it means something more like "to scold". The word "pleaded" or something like that might fit better.
“Stephen Peters, Patrick Boot and Samuel Green, you know that boy I sit behind in Charms?” Jemima informed Molly.
Another punctuation note here (you may notice that I make them quite frequently *smiles*). The comma at the end of the quote (after Samuel Green) would be better replaced by a dash. Dashes are used instead of commas to make interjections in dialogue.
On the first paragraph: your descriptions and dialogue (save for the paragraph indentations) were very good! You describe emotions well through the reactions of your characters, not to mention their thoughts.
The next morning dawned and contrary to popular belief, the skies were not filled with pink, heart-shaped clouds.
I quite like this sentence! It illustrates the whimsicalness people get about them during Valentine's Day. However, the sentence would flow better if you changed it to something like: The next morning dawned, but yet contrary to popular belief, the skies were not filled with pink, heart-shaped clouds. That's pretty nit-picky though. :P
A note on the third paragraph: Aww! That was very well done, the emotions and things. I loved the sweetness of the moment between Arthur and Molly, the gentle touches and interesting conversation.
And the fourth paragraph: How funny! Your humor was well-placed and natural feeling-- not forced. Not to mention the realness of the situation. You captured the dealings of teen girls perfectly.
Overall, well done! I have to admit, I was a bit put off by the mishap with the dialogue indentations, but I'm glad I read through. Your story was sweet and well-described, and definitely left the reader going, "Aww!" Nice job!
Author's Response: Wow, my first review! Thank you very much for taking the time to point these things out! I am actually a little confused with regards to the formatting here and am going to sort that right away. I agree, it is very hard to read and I know it wasn't like this before! Hehe. Also, thank you very much for the other suggestions. I plan to change them as soon as I get the time! Phily :)