Reviews For Final Battle
Reviewer: Lalalalatina
Date: 04/26/07 17:06
Chapter: Only one chapter

Wow... very dark. But that's okay. ^_^ I like how short the lines are- it kind of adds to the darkness of the poem.
My favorite lines are the last two:
I am the last breathing.
Yet I did not win.

Awww... so sad but so true. Just because you win something in the end doesn't mean you didn't lose more just to get there. So true. Good job!


Author's Response: I was aiming for that. Thank you! I thought that the last two lines came out a bit... um... *thinks of good word besides 'bad'* messed up, but... thank you!

Reviewer: BatSenecal
Date: 04/04/07 21:24
Chapter: Only one chapter

I thought that it was a good poem. It was a little quick though. Maybe some imagery would help it.

Author's Response: Hmm. You have a point there. I agree; it does go by a liitle quick. Let me see how I can alter it... and thank you for your review!

Reviewer: Euphrates
Date: 01/27/07 16:06
Chapter: Only one chapter

Time for me to review again!

Wow. This is amazing. Spectacular. I probably said that before, and if I didn't, it goes double, now. Or you could just take the word ‘spectacular’, multiply its meaning by one thousand million, and you’d understand how good this poem is. J

I like how short every line is, but how powerful they are, too. Very well done. I love it. Love it love it love it love it. J It’s sounds clipped when you read it out loud, too, as if the person telling the tale could hardly bear to, because of how terrible and awful and sad it was.

I like how simple this poem is, but poignant, also. It is very touching and there is a lot of great imagery, too. I could see everything happening as I read it - I think the best imagery lines are:

Green flashes flying.
and
Under the blood-red sky.

(Actually, a band I love (U2, of course) has an album named 'Under a Blood-Red Sky'....Funny, that. Guess that is why I like that line so much – personal preferences, I guess. J)

Great job. I love this poem. Did I say that already?

~Tyger, tyger, burning bright - Euphrates


Author's Response: wow. *blushes* thank you. (omg, multiply spectacular a thousand million times?!?! *faints* all right, time to be modest again. *dances madly*) that was really kind. i didn't think people would like this so much.... :-)

Reviewer: lady magician
Date: 01/25/07 9:43
Chapter: Only one chapter

oh! *blushes*...well im happy i got a fan! i saw the review on ur other story and ill go re-eview for ya righ now..just a sec :-)

Author's Response: *also quite pink* yes, you've got a fan... but really, your poems really seem to fit with the HP saga, and the flow really well too.

Reviewer: JusticeForMedea
Date: 01/24/07 19:30
Chapter: Only one chapter

I saw it, but couldn't get on to review until now. First of all, congratulations, you're an amazing writer. And two poems in a row! Waaaaay cool.

So... I owe you some good reviews. I love how you used short statements inside tiny stanzas, it brought the reader's attention to every line. No fluff, every detail is noticed.

You didn't make it rhyme either, so you didn't get bogged down with the words. The way you just let your thoughts flow out onto the paper is fanstastic. His eyes are crying./Anger Shaking...The teenaged savior./Turns once more. It just rolls like that.

I thought it was interesting how you referred to Voldemort and Harry being "vanquished together." Were you implying something about Harry later in his life? Does he become conflicted later on, dig too deep into dark arts?

Ok, I'm gonna check out your other submission now. Keep writing!!!

--Ananya

Author's Response: wowowowow, ty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (if you read my response to my other rview, you'll see why I'm so excited... but anyway.) Actually, what happened when i said they were 'vanquished together' was that, um, they both sent a killing curse at each other at the same time, and, well.... yup. (i was feeling a tad depressed when i was writing this poem, stupid mathe test that day... ick.) Thank you for your review!

Reviewer: Euphrates
Date: 01/23/07 14:02
Chapter: Only one chapter

*claps hand to mouth, shaking* Oh...my...god... This is your first poem? It is absolutely amazing!

Oh, wow! You killed Harry! (Ha, ha, someone said the exact same thing to me in a review for one of my poems. That is really odd...) I love this poem - it is just wonderful. The last two lines are simply amazing, and really portray a lot of power and pain. You had a few punctuation problems, but we'll live. :-) I think you spelled "straightens" wrong in the fourth stanza...you can just edit that real quick and the poem will be fine.

Is this told by Ginny's point of view? Please tell me it is told by Ginny's POV. I am a humongous H/G shipper...so if it isn't H/G, don't tell me. :-) I won't kill you or anything, sheesh....just a warning.

My favorite stanza is the last one:
My dark-haired savior.
Gone from this world.
I am the last breathing.
Yet I did not win.


Suggestion: I think you should put an excerpt of the poem in the summary. Maybe the fourth stanza?

He straitens and turns.
The teenaged savior.
Turns once more.
Green flashes flying.


But you can pick any stanza you want - just don't give anything away, obviously.

Write more poetry - really. Seriously. there are a lot of people on this site who will love your poetry - like me!

You don't need to be scared - this was absolutely spectacular - emotional, poignant, short and sweet...

How should I say it? 10/10? 5 stars? But it is way better than that!

~Tyger, tyger, burning bright - Euphrates


Author's Response: Wow, that was really touching. Yep, this is my first poem. I'm blushing a lot at the moment, and that's near impossible for me. Yes, it's from Ginny's POV. I enjoy writing from how she sees events. Hmmm, I think I'll take your advice. It's going to be a tough choice which stanza to use in the summary

Reviewer: lady magician
Date: 01/23/07 10:38
Chapter: Only one chapter

*exhales*...oh dear! I was holding my beath thoughout the whole thing! I could see the scene in front of my eyes, though you used such few words. Like a story. I love the last 2 lines. Great, great, job!

Author's Response: Thanks! I wasn't sure how good this one would be, but your review blew me away! :-)

Author's Response: If you see my other response, I CAN'T BALIEVE I DIDN'T RECONIZE YOUR USERNAME BEFORE! ahem, another apology.... :-) Really, sorry 'bout that.

Reviewer: DogLover4Life
Date: 01/23/07 9:14
Chapter: Only one chapter

Hm, who’s POV is this? It's a great first poem! It was so graphic I don't know how to describe what you did with the first two lines of each stanza(?) but it gave you your own style. I don' know why but my favourite stanza(?) is the second to last one.

The teenaged savior.
The older demon.
Vanquished together.
Under the blood-red sky.

I just love the contrast in it. You start out with the two sworn enemies. Then you go to death, and for me it just seems dark and black. But you end the line with colour and it's just, wow.

Author's Response: Ok, first thing, it's Ginny's POV. Thanks a lot for your review! I wrote this at about midnight, so that stanza sort of just, er, I dunno. Uh... nevermind. Thank you so much for your review!

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