Reviewer: The_Quibbler
Date: 09/26/07 20:11
Chapter: Tears and Tragedies...The End of it all

*mouth open* could you say OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!! wow. fits though I like it.

Author's Response: *giggles* Thanks? ~Lindsey :)

Reviewer: harry_victoria
Date: 08/19/07 7:27
Chapter: Tears and Tragedies...The End of it all

*GASP!* Oh my gosh, you killed Ron! It's sort of a bittersweet relief though... he's not in internal pain anymore. Great job, I loved that!

-harry_victoria

Author's Response: Thanks so much! ~Lindsey :)

Reviewer: hope_is_bright
Date: 06/12/07 23:18
Chapter: Tears and Tragedies...The End of it all

that was a heartbreaker it was. but i dont hate you for killing off Ron. im sure Harry does but you know he was his best friend. i think Ron would be happy.

Author's Response: Ooh, I'm glad you don't hate me for killing of Ron! *giggles* I'm glad you liked it. ~Lindsey :)

Reviewer: Fred the Duck
Date: 06/11/07 21:33
Chapter: Crushed Hearts

i dont know whether to cry or be angry at you for killing the three of them. oh well, it was a wondermous story!

Author's Response: Aw, thanks! *giggles* ~Lindsey :)

Reviewer: ilovebeatlesx100
Date: 03/30/07 14:35
Chapter: Tears and Tragedies...The End of it all

what? that's not a good ending at all. I would have had Ron survive and fix up the bar, and become Blen's business partner . There you have it a fanfic to a fanfic. Woot

Author's Response: Gee, thanks for your support. ~Lindsey :)

Reviewer: GoldenTigress
Date: 03/21/07 17:40
Chapter: Crushed Hearts

Oh, that ending was so unexpected. (No pun intended.) I can't belive Mark did that. What a bittersweet way to tie it off. Nice work!

Author's Response: I'm sorry, but "Huh?" Are you sure that you reviewed the right story? Mark is in my other fic, The Unexplained Files. . . I think you're talking about the wrong story . . . ~Lindsey :)

Author's Response: And, now that I look, this is actually the first chapter, so there might not be an ending yet? ~Lindsey :)

Reviewer: Soccer_rocks_likeHP
Date: 02/22/07 16:46
Chapter: Crushed Hearts

That was so terribly sad! Poor Ron!

Author's Response: Thanks for your review! Yes, *hags head* It's sad... ~Lindsey :)

Author's Response: Ha ha ha, that should be *haNgs head* ~Lindsey :)

Reviewer: Skipper424
Date: 02/06/07 19:09
Chapter: For the Love of a Jaguar

Okay, Ron x Hermione, I just read the first two chapters of your story, Unpredicted Happenings. I like the first chapter quite a bit (even a bit more than the second chapter if I were to be totally honest). I really liked your portrayal of Voldemort and Ron in the opening chapter. However, since you requested some attention be directed at the second chapter in the story, I’ll focus my attention there.




As you did in the first chapter, I think you do a good job in your portrayal of Ron. There is great sense of shock and sadness throughout. I like you have Ron gazing off into space, not really knowing what to do next, and even asking himself questions about whether or not he should go on himself. I think these are all things that would go through anyone’s head if something like that ever happened to them. So, well done on that part.


The second half of this chapter was good, though I wished Ron had held on to his wand and come up with something really good for our dear friend, Mr. Mark. More often than not, people who drive Jags and act like Mark was acting in this chapter deserve a good jinx. Gees, did I say that out loud? Anyway, I was glad when Ron demonstrated his aptitude for Muggle dueling. Though, somehow, I wonder if, having just lost my wife and child, not to mention considering suicide myself, I wonder if I would just be too dejected to care. Ah, just a thought.


One constructive note, that I can think of, in this chapter. You did a great job setting the tone here, but there two lines that kind of stuck out like sore thumbs to me. The funeral had been a dismal one. After all, who has ever had a happy funeral? The second sentence just seems, I don’t know what to call it. So, how about unnecessary? Maybe this is just me, but the image of a stand up comic telling a funeral joke burst into my head when I read that line. If you intended to be funny there, strike these comments. Otherwise, I would remove that second sentence and then maybe just combine your first two paragraphs.


Right along these same lines comes this sentence, He stepped outside into the- how appropriate- rainy and sleeting weather. You know what might work perfect here? Change it, so Ron steps outside for a walk just as it begins to poor down rain. Then have him look up to the sky and say, “Oh, great!” or “Perfect!” You get the same idea across without having the choppy feel that I got reading this the way it was.


Hey, I’m no expert, I’m not an accredited beta, I’m none of the above. So, do what you will with my feedback. Do nothing if you like. Your story is still pretty darn good the way it is. I was just offering my two cents. So long! Keep up the good work.



Author's Response: Wow! That was the most constructive-y review I have ever gotten! If you don't think you're an expert, you sure sound like one. That really helps me with your comments, than you so much. I really like your thoughts on how it could start raining as soon as Ron goes outside. "Perfect" sounds like something that Ron would say, as well. Thank YOU so much! You really helped me; I'll go back and fix a few things later! ~Lindsey :)

Reviewer: Hermione_Rocks
Date: 02/04/07 16:16
Chapter: Tears and Tragedies...The End of it all

Aw...I can't believe you killed Ron. :( I can see how maybe that's the only way he'd be happy, but I was kind of hoping for him to try and blindly find his way in the world or something.... Overall though, I really enjoyed this. The man with his car, and Ron thinking about how silly it was for this guy to put his car before his girlfriend was all very well done. And this is random, but Blekinsop asking to be called Blen made me laugh. :P Awesome job!

Author's Response: Double review! *tasty!* ~Lindsey :)

Reviewer: Hermione_Rocks
Date: 02/04/07 16:15
Chapter: Tears and Tragedies...The End of it all

Aw...I can't believe you killed Ron. :( I can see how maybe that's the only way he'd be happy, but I was kind of hoping for him to try and blindly find his way in the world or something.... Overall though, I really enjoyed this. The man with his car, and Ron thinking about how silly it was for this guy to put his car before his girlfriend was all very well done. And this is random, but Blekinsop asking to be called Blen made me laugh. :P Awesome job!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm, glad that you enjoyed it! I really made this as a one-shot, then saw that it had to be three chapters for the prompt! And, knowing me, I had to just make it four! *giggles* But, yes. Thank you so much for the compliments! ~Lindsey :)

Reviewer: whomovedmyquil
Date: 01/26/07 18:14
Chapter: Crushed Hearts

Oh Lindsey! You just killed my favorite character! But you did it beautifully! So, on with my review (it feeels so wierd to be critiquing my beta): YOU left out a few words every now and then like 'she didn't __ how..." something was missing. Voldemort reffered to Hermione as Mrs. Granger... shouldn't it be Mrs. Weasley? And it seemed a little odd that Ron and Hermione didn't have more security around there home, but I LOVE IT!

Author's Response: Well, I let Voldy call Hermione Miss Granger because.. well, it just seemed to fit that he wouldn't be calling her a Weasley yet. My beta pointed that out as well, you have a good eye. I know, I felt absolutely horrid about killing Hermione... but it went along with the story! I'm so glad that you love it, Ashley! ~Lindsey :)

Reviewer: april_weasley
Date: 01/24/07 18:10
Chapter: Crushed Hearts

It sounds really good so far, I can't wait for the next chapter! (even though I wish to throw rotten tomatoes at you)

Author's Response: LOL! Why would you want to throw rotten tomatoes at me? *gasp* Was it because I killed... er- the character I killed? Three just got valiated today, and four is now with the beta! ~Lindsey :)

Reviewer: blue eyed dragon
Date: 01/18/07 4:02
Chapter: Crushed Hearts

Oh wow, powerful first chapter. Poor Ron, nothing ever goes right for him. How I'd love to find Voldy-poo and give him a nice hard kick in the...

Excellent (as always) chapter!

Author's Response: Yay, Jess! You are my first loverly reviewer! Thanks so much! I'm posting chapter 2 now! *giggles* I'm glad that you love it! ~Lindsey :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
MIT: Entente Cordial by Northumbrian 6th-7th Years
A strange and seemingly inexplicable death in London's West End brings an unlikely...
Allegiance by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
During his final year at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy had few illusions about where...
Through the Mines by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Tom Riddle remarks on the power he held while at the orphanage and at school.Written...
FEATURED
Glass over the Flame by the opaleye 3rd-5th Years
Harry, Hermione, and the moments in between. He doesn’t say that this...
Tom Riddle and the Chamber of Secrets by CanisMajor 3rd-5th Years
What really happened the last time someone let the Basilisk out? Harry Potter...
Red Squirrel/Sun Rises by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
+ He wouldn't celebrate his birthday, but his son had other ideas. + This was...
Sybill Trelawney and the Unexpected Gift by Squibstress 3rd-5th Years
Sybill Trelawney learns to live with her Inner Eye, cooking sherry, and Minerva...
Pat-a-Cake by foolondahill17 1st-2nd Years
Molly Weasley II, called Pat, and twenty-one lot and little-known facts. Or...
Wood by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
Marcus Flint, the infamous Super Seventh Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch...
CATEGORIES