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Reviews For Myrtle's Vision

Name: hpsupafan (Signed) · Date: 11/09/08 17:33 · For: Chapter 1

nice story :P

Author's Response: lol

Name: hpreader1 (Signed) · Date: 08/04/08 9:56 · For: Chapter 1
Ooooh! Poor Myrtle. Sounds a bit like Harry's dreams huh?

Author's Response: Yup! thanks for the review

Name: bertiebott12 (Signed) · Date: 05/28/07 12:38 · For: Chapter 1
Evie!!! I loved it! I had always wanted someone to write a fic about Myrtle's death! It was great, you depicted it very well. Good characterization on Myrtle and Olive Horby!

Author's Response: Thank you, Claire! **huggles** ~Evie

Name: Visceral Love (Signed) · Date: 03/11/07 17:44 · For: Chapter 1
Mrytle’s Vision has a vision, or rather a point of view. It’s written from experience and it shows. The fault of many pieces of fanfiction is that they seem to only get farther away from the reader emotionally as each new piece of conflict is introduced. Myrtle’s Vision does just the opposite. For example here:
“Your hair is greasy, Little Miss Mope,” observed Olive Hornbury, her nose wrinkling in disgust.
The insults that Dumbledore’sTwin(abr name) uses are witty and poignant. They are very real. They are also very exaggerated. In my time I have never met anyone using such direct teasing (and I would consider myself a regular old mrytle ), most teasing I have found is small subtle actions by the antagonist and a permeating paranoia within the protagonists own psyche. Dumbledore’sTiwn doesn’t achieve this unfortunately instead sticks with the easy-to-write philosophy of bad guy vs. good guy. This isn’t I think a faulty path that the author chose conciesiously, but one that was necessary if she wished to be completely real and honest. In our life it we villianify people if to make ourselves appear more sympathetic and since I’m assuming that Dumbledore’sTwin placed herself in the shoes of Myrtle for this exercise it’s natural she wanted to make her self sympathetic. The danger in this is that the girls have no motivation, no character. They are in a word: flat. Making characters flat is fine, and often acceptable in stories as short as this, but then they need to be stripped of all purposes besides plot so the reader does not enter the story expecting rounded villains.
I was also a little unclear on why Mrytle would want to become like the girls that tease her everyday. Yes they are popular, but earlier in the story you say yourself that Myrtle couldn’t understand why everyone liked them. I think you need to show more the transformation from distaste to admiration. Also it’s very important to tie up loose-ends when writing a one-shot. At the end we still don’t know who the man is, and that’s okay but he doesn’t return or why he was even warning her in the first place.
Perhaps it would be nice to have him tell her to be miserable to try and save her from making the mistake of ending up in the girls bathroom or was that just a conincidence. Overall this story packed a great emotional punch, but was empty other than that.
I look foreward to seeing what this author can do with a great emotional impact and a more compact tied-together plot. Great job.

Author's Response: This has to be the most helpful review I have ever recieved - thank you! Are you a member of SPEW or something? I do disagrre, however, about your claim that the insults are exaggerated. I myself have met an Olive Hornbury, she was my best friend. In our first year of high school, she became obbsessed with being popular and funny - at my expense. She used to throw insult after insult, just like the ones in my fic, in front of large gangs of people. One day, I couldn't take it anymore, and I yelled at her and ran off to another friend of mine, who hung around with a completely different, VERY unpopular crowd. I obviously got teased for hanging around this crowd, and so made my self determind to change. Briefly, for a fortnight or so, in a desperate attempt to be liked, I became a total chav, and pratically plastered myself in make-up. I was anorexic for eight weeks. So, I think that it is possible for Myrtle to want to become like these girls; she may not understand why these girls are liked, but wishes to be liked, so she copies them. I understand where you're coming from on the quick transformation though, I'll watch out for that in the future. The voice is actually the Basilisk, and the boy in the bathroom is Voldy, as explained in COS. Thank you again for this fantastic review, I only wish everyone put as much effort into the reviews as you do! ~Evie

Name: Hilary (Signed) · Date: 02/07/07 18:27 · For: Chapter 1
awww, Myrtle, I guess she never really stopped crying

Author's Response: No, no I don't think so. Thank you for reading, anyway!

Name: rachelprue (Anonymous) · Date: 02/07/07 17:00 · For: Chapter 1
Nice fic. I know what mean girls are like, and I like how you portrayed them.

Author's Response: awww! Thank you! All the girls in this fic are based on girls in my year!

Name: lantis222 (Signed) · Date: 01/17/07 13:18 · For: Chapter 1
Poor Myrtle. And she'd just decided she was going to change. But would she have really? Very well done, I enjoyed this look into Myrtle's life. Good work!

Author's Response: Probably not - she was born grumpy and she died grumpy. Thank you for reading and for taking the time to review!!

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