I really like the idea of the flash back to the Marauders' Hogwarts days. It's creative, and it makes the story a bit more sad in a way, to see the way their friendship had turned from something so great to a hate so strong.

The beginning scenes with Ron and Hermione to Peter sleeping probably needs some sort of transition. The beginning seems slightly out of place, as the main story is about Peter's attack while being with Ron. I recommend changing the introduction to something a bit more on the subject of Peter's attack, just so the story goes a bit smoother.

Bullied into switching his loyalty, Peter lay scared and alone disguised as the loyalist garden rat alive.

If I'm reading this correctly, I think that 'loyalist' should maybe be 'most loyal'. I'm not completely sure on this one, but If not, I know that it should be spelled 'loyalest'.

Also, don't forget to capitalize the first letter of each word in your title, excluding 'a'. Other than those things I really did like this. Overall you did a good job!

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you like it. Well, I've had a look at it isn't 'loyalest' as that isn't a word but you may be correct about it being 'most loyal'. I see what you mean about the beginning though, it is a little sudden. I just wanted to give a glimpse of the time period it is set in at first. Thanks for your feddback! :)

I really liked it. It seemed to kind of walk the line between funny and sad, if that makes any sense (it probably doesn't). But it was very good, and a good portrayal of Peter.

Author's Response: Thanks, it was my first attempt at following just Peter in detail. I thought there must be a heart in there somewhere. Glad you liked it :)