This was really cool, before you had even mentioned Bellatrix I imagined it was her. It was a cool coincidence
I really like the characterization of Kingsley in this one-shot. The plot line itself was truly amazing.
In less than five minutes, the Prime Minister had crossed the globe no less than three times. He had even cured world hunger.
No matter how many times I read this line, I can’t help but laugh. Not only is the act of creating new missions for every caller drastically clever and creative, it also seems like something he would do from the characterization you created for him. The wording and set-up helps with the humour a lot, though.
He frowned as he spied a bit of discoloration amidst the green.
Small nitpick here. It should be discolouration, not discoloration.
“What?” jumped the guard defensively. “I didn’t do it!”
I really like this guard. Although, he doesn’t seem like the type of person I would want to be protecting my life. =] His addition to the one-shot really added a lot, and made certain sections considerably more light and humourous.
Overall, it was a wonderful piece, especially the ending. Keep up the fantastic writing.
This is just like the opening of a good spy thriller. I almost expect Jason Bourne to walk in at any moment *giggles*
Your eyes have the look of a frozen monster, Shackles. The devil himself would want for them, if you would only willingly give yourself to him.
This line just gives me chills every time I read it!
Your descriptions of his reactions to Gertrude Giovanni were excellent! Kingsley is a man who has very little of himself left – a spy who is more involved in the game then with the rest of humanity, but with the dichotomy of being tormented by guilt and invisible blood, in a way very reminiscent of Lady Macbeth. He’s hollow inside, alone except for his guilt, and your descriptions of his reactions and interaction to Gertrude Giovanni were really a fabulous way of underlining his own awareness of this, especially at the very end.
The italicized thoughts were well handled, always intriguing without subsuming the whole piece with them.
The less they knew about the other reality that controlled their lives, the better.
Loved this - so ominous and understatedly cynical.
Kingsley could feel it as they drove through the protective barrier the Muggle Relations office had erected around the site of the massacre. Looking at his companions, they could feel it too, but likely had no idea what had just happened. Often, it seemed to strike Muggles as a turn of the air or a sudden chill.
I love the detail here - and who hasn’t’ felt that inexplicable chill? *lol*
A short nod was all that came in answer before Kingsley left the room, let out all the air in his lungs, and hated himself for every step he took away from that room, knowing he assigned a woman to her death without knowing her circumstances. Such power over a person’s life felt grotesque. Grandmum would have been ashamed of him.
This is a fabulous ending and I love the way you’ve tied it into his earlier musings, and brought the chapter full circle.
I know I’ve said it before, but you have a wonderful eye for detail and this story really showcases your ability to convey characters and make them real for your readers. The final scene on top of the hill just left you wanting more; the sign of a great story *grin*
oh-oh. this seems to be a good story! please keep writing, and soon! :P
:D :D :D :D +