I'm dropping by due to the Ravenclaw Story of the Week, as Wendy outlined in her review.
While Harry/Ginny is my least favorite ship of all time (I would rather read Crabbe/Goyle...seriously), I did enjoy the imagery and the descriptive style that you brought. Everything was easy to picture in my mind, maybe except the last part, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you probably ran short on time, because with the quality of the rest of the fic, I don't believe you would have left it like that for any other reason.
I would be interested to know why Harry was at Hogwarts and not at the Burrow. As far as I know, he had a standing invitation to be there any time he wanted, as he was sort of another son to the Weasleys. Was there some sort of falling out over Fred's death? Did Fred actually die in this alternate universe? Is this DH-compliant (as in, what about Moldy Voldy)? I think you could have added much to this story by giving a more solid background about these events, mainly why Harry is there in the first place.
Overall, in terms of how much I liked it, I'm halfway between 'like' and 'meh,' but that's more because I'm more into Dark/Angsty stuff where the characters suffer, so this is a little out of my realm. I did appreciate your style in terms of imagery, because it really felt like I was there, playing in the snow right along with them.
This review is definitely not SPEW-worthy, as I am currently skiving off of writing and should really be going (bloody procrastinator, I am), but I hope it adds to your experience as an author, because I know it adds to mine to both give and receive reviews.
Well, I shall bid you good day, so take care and happy writing.
P.S. - Ra-Ra-Ravenclaw! Go Eagles!!!
I would love to say that I really liked this one. I adore Meet the - Children? And I had high hopes that I’d love this one too. I’m sorry to say that it’s just a bit too AU for my liking.
The premise is a great one and I do think you did a good job; I just don’t personally care for the H/G ship that doesn’t conform to canon. With it being AU I don’t’ feel it necessary to mention all the characterisation issues I had, (too many to list). Just suffice it to say that you did great with it and I’m glad I at least gave it a read.
I did notice a spelling error early on;
Third paragraph: In the few hours that she had been awake, she had not yet cought even the slightest glimpse of him. This should be caught.
Oh, I also wanted you to know this is the Story of the Week in the Ravenclaw Library 11Jan10 through 22Jan10. Hopefully you’ll get some love for this story and the ones who come will go visit the others also.
luv it luv it luv it! i just want to know where evry1 else is...R they still @Hogwarts? just sayin...
Author's Response: Well I'd imagined everyone else being home for the holidays. Thanks for your review!
Ok, so I'll review *wink*. I adore Harry-Ginny, it's my favourite ship after Hermoine-Ron and Hermione-Seamus! Ooh harry is very cute and Ginny, well, is Ginny! But, were there no other students staying for Christmas? It was just the two of them?
Hey, you know, I love Twilight tooo! And Edward and Jacob and Bella and Renesmee! Have you read Breaking Dawn already? It is sooo good *ejem, esme's island!*
Oh and I loved Wicked too! Well, not the musical (I never really liked musicals), but the book! You absolutely have to read it! Oh dear, Elphaba and Fiyero! Beautiful! It is by Gregory Mcguire, I believe. Oh, and read the books by Philip Pullman,you'll love them... who wouldn't! Ejem, I know this was supposed to be a Harry Potter site, but I just got a tad overexited.
Anyway*clears her throath loudly*, I'm off to check out some more stories, perhaps Meet the Chlidren, if I like the summary! Nice fic *walks away*
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Sorry it took so long for me to respond. And no, I didn't plan on having any other Griffindors staying at the school.... Yeah, Twilight is amazing as well! My best friend's aunt directed it, which is pretty cool. And of course I've read Breaking Dawn. =) And yes! Wicked (the book and the musical) is amazing! And yep, I read those too.... haha. It's fine. Thanks! I really appreciated your review!
i'd like to know where are the other two of your stories located...
Author's Response: you can find them on my page. =) Thanks for your review!
awwwww very cute!
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. =)
awwww! this was a sweet story! i loved the metaphor with the snowflakes! so creative!
Author's Response: Thanks so much!
that's 'her waist' and 'Triwizard'. Sheesh. I'm a shame to my affiliation, aren't I? *grins* Cheers, Hannah!
Author's Response: Haha, that's okay! Thank you again!
Here is a SPEW review!She stood silently at the window, her mouth was framed upwards, and her briefly combed red hair hung loosely near her shoulders. A flush licked her cheeks, and freckles danced on her face. Her focus was stern, for she stood in curtain of stillness, although her delicate nose inhaled rhythmically, taking in the scent of her surroundings.
A lovely paragraph full of personification, which gracefully led to an adorable characteristic of Harry, too! After reading these first sentences, I sighed in satisfaction.She abated, glad for its warmth. What do you mean by 'abated'? Curled up? If yes, 'curled up' is infinitely the better phrase.
Also, you have too much dialogue attribution in places. Some were unnecessary, the actions after their words could have been narrated separately (He wrapped his arms around his waist... He hugged her tighter...) without the attributions, because we already know there are only two of them here."People come from the same place, as do snowflakes - from the sky. They have a journey changing due to wind, as they get blown all over the place, a symbol of our hectic lives. Then, they land simultaneously, as people in love are brought together. And they mold together as one. After it all, they melt into water and are reborn again." --I'll echo Harry's reply. You gave an eloquent analogy here. So nice and quote-worthy! Although, the way you wrote it is a little too stilted for Ginny. You know what I mean? If I place this quote somewhere and have people guess who said it, they'll answer Dumbledore or Hermione, not Ginny. Even with the 'all over the place', it's too stiff, sentimental and formal for our redheaded gal, who must have resolved to do better after the COS Valentine's fiasco!
And 'vex', though a synonym of 'tease', is a poor substitute, and is used in a different context.After walking in silence, they found themselves at giant doors... and 'yard' completely threw me off about their location. We can hardly call the Hogwarts grounds 'yard', can we? Hehe. And to mend this discover-y feel like the place isn't theirs or is new, instead of 'they found themselves at giant doors...', 'they reached the giant doors...' will be better.
"...slid ON a pair of simple silver earrings..." "...an emerald PENDANT on a silver chain..." (chain and necklace are the same).And hmm, after your quite literary beginning, your ending felt rushed and not as warm. No embarassed feelings at all on Ginny's part about her Harry-clippings-collection? No anxiety at all that Harry might not like it? After all, we know how Harry hated publicity after the Trizizard.
So there, Hannah. Your ending can do with some improvements. And it will be worth the effort and revision, because you have a nice Christmassy fic here, and I'm glad Abigail has posted it in the Cat Patrol. *wink*~Joanna
Author's Response: Whoa, thank you so much! I will most certainly take all this into consideration! Right now, I'm just working on my other stories, but I will definitely come back and re-work this. Thank you so so much!
It didn't flow too well. Sorry, I can't read AUP, 'cause I am restricted to first and second years.
Author's Response: Okay... sorry you didn't like it.
Wow! thats all i can say!:)
Author's Response: I hope that's a good thing! Thanks so much!
This was an awesome little fluffy story that would brighten anybodies day. Thank you!
Author's Response: Awwwww! Thanks so much!
Hi Hannah! *waves* I thought I'd add a REAL review to your new fic ... *cough*
I happen to love fluff, especially about my favourite couple, Harry and Ginny! This scene could have happened -- that's one reason I like it so much. Ginny making Harry a scrapbook of his life was really touching, and I love snowball fights between people in love. And you have a beautiful vocabulary, too!
Um ... I'm not seeing any errors (wonder why -- LOL!) , so no criticism here! Great job, and I think you should seriously consider writing more meaningful fluff for us hopeless romantics! *huggles*
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Abigail!
Author's Response: Thank you??