I liked it. It wasn't as good as Halfway To Infinity, but I like long stories so that's the only reason. I really like your writing style. This story got me thinking about how some people that are bullied could do bad things to get revenge. I felt like it had a deeper meaning than just a Fan Fiction and I liked that. You keep on writing! I am a writer myself and you give me insperation to keep writing. I really like your stories. Thanks for writing.
Hi, Abby! Your author page has been lovingly recommended by Hannah/coolh5000. While I’m not quite ready to tackle Halfway to Infinity, I thought it would do to pay a visit to you anyway and show some love for one of your older stories first.
I’ve read a few different renditions on Peter’s decline into treachery, so I suppose I came into reading your story with a few preconceptions. However, that being said, I was impressed by the thought processes behind his decision. Your portrayal of Peter’s character here is delicious. The narrative really lent well to showing him as a relatively simple person who was struggling with complex things. First it was whether he was doing the right thing, which seemed such a simple question to answer.
But I so very much love the italicised memory bits and how they showed Peter’s buttons being pushed. Each unintentional jibe and slight propelled him further and further toward the unthinkable. Even James and Lily asking him and thanking him profusely added fuel to the fire because he was clearly the second choice. Sirius bluntly reminded Peter that he was the oft-forgotten Marauder who no one would expect to have such a vital role. But I really think Remus was the one who tipped the scales the most, insinuating that Peter wasn’t good enough and couldn’t take care of himself. It shows how each and every one of his friends stabbed him in the back and didn’t even know they’d done it.
It’s fitting that, in the end, Peter’s desire to prove himself was the mitigating factor in his betrayal, even though he really wished that someone would find him out and keep him from doing it. He really did love his friends, but he craved their respect more. I truly felt badly for him that he saw that he was such a throwaway that he no longer owed anything to the only friends he’d ever had. But the worst part is that he, while still weak-minded in allowing himself to be talked into selling out the Potters, is that he had a point. Always fourth-best. Always ‘just Peter’. Always the weakest, the meekest. The way you used that to your advantage was so, so good.
At any rate, this story is gorgeous, and I’m glad I read it. I’m not what you’d call a Marauder fan and I hardly ever read it, but it’s nice that, when I do, I’m fortunate enough to come across stories like yours to pique my interest.
Oh, and Happy Birthday as of yesterday!
Very good story. Excellent character analysis. I have never been able to understand Peter's betrayal, but this one shot helped me glimpse the process of his thoughts.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Compared to Leanne’s review, this is going to seem like nothing! But here it goes!
I loved this story, first off. I’ve always wondered what Peter would have been thinking the moment he told Voldemort James’ and Lily’s secret and I think you got it perfectly. The way he was scared to be found out and not really scared for his friend’s life was brilliant in my opinion. Obviously his inferiority is what drove him to it in the end, which you showed nicely through the flashbacks, having the other marauder’s look down on him slightly.
Which brings me to characterization! I think you have them all spot on, really, and what I loved the most was how Sirius and Remus didn’t actually make fun of Peter, only tiny remarks that Peter took the wrong way, like “But you’d get yourself killed faster than Sirius could if you were Secret Keeper. We’re just worried about your safety, Peter.” His friends know his weaknesses, and they were probably right that he would get himself killed, so really, I do believe that they were just looking out for his safety. But because of all the years he had to put up with remarks like this, I can see why he would feel like they treated him poorly, when really they were just trying to be good friends. They’re always very mature about it, even Sirius, though they acted awkwardly. You showed a growth which is reflective of the times which was good for this story.
Another great thing about this piece is the flow! I loved how easily you moved between his memories and the present, as if we really were inside Peter’s mind. And it added more to the story for me. The flashbacks are what actually shape the story, giving evidence to why Peter is now doing what he is. It was a great add on, and good choice as an author!
So as you can tell, I just loved this one-shot :) and of course I would, a Gryffie wrote it! Go Go Gryffindor! Haha, keep writing Abby, cause you’re amazing at it
Abby! -squishes- You know, I've been meaning to read something of yours for a while now, because I've heard what amazing things people have said about Halfway to Infinity, and well, I had to get a taste of this amazingness. (Obviously, this isn't a review for Halfway to Infinity. But I so enjoy one-shots times infinity. Look, I connected to infinity! -is done blabbering now-) Right, onto the review.
I really love seeing things about Peter, especially around the time when he betrayed Lily and James, because there's just so much to explore with his character. I've seen it done different ways, so naturally I was comparing your Peter to other Peters I've seen. And I have to say, I was really impressed by your Peter. I could really see where things went wrong, why he chose to do what he did, etc. This fic isn't very long, but you packed in so much. You included the things that mattered without being too verbose. I think that's one of the things I enjoyed most. It's simple, but it conveys so much. This line particularly stood out to me: One man's traitor is another man's savior. Obviously that's where the title comes from, and I love it. Positively heart it. It's just so...Peter. It makes perfect sense for him, for what he did.
I do have a little bit of concrit to give you, though. The only thing that I didn't think was exactly spot on was James's characterization. The first flashback we get has this as the first line: ”I hate to put you in this position,” James said, with a shrug. I don't like so much that he's shrugging, because that makes it seem nonchalant. Like making somebody your Secret Keeper is just no big deal, which it obviously is. I think maybe James would be a little awkward in this situation, but not too awkward. It's tough to really nail the James that's grown up from a teenager but is still a tad childish. I'm not sure you got there all the way. Then again, perhaps that's just my own opinion and view of James.
I adore the scene between Sirius and Peter. I think you really captured the relationship between them well. I love it. The bit with Remus and Peter is nice as well. A little darker, as it were, but in a good way. It's interesting to see Remus being a little down on Peter, because from canon it seems like it was mostly Sirius and James. But it does work here. I imagine Remus felt a bit left out in this situation, and taking it out (if only to a small degree) on Peter is a neat touch.
The description of Voldemort! Wow, it's so creepy, even though it's brief. -shivers- And finally, I love how you end this. For some reason, I think ending with a line of dialogue is really cool, and it works perfectly here. -shivers again- It makes me hate Peter, but at the same time feel a little sorry for him. So. Excellent job with this; I thought it was wonderful. I'm thinking I should go read some more writing of yours... :D
Author's Response: Oh WOW! Thank you soooo much for this review!
I'm glad you liked this version of Peter; I was trying to shake up his character a little bit and I wasn't sure if it would work out. Haha and that line too. Thanks so much for mentioning it; it took me so long to think of! ^^;;I agree with you about the shrugging thing, actually. I couldn't think of what to put there, so I just added shrugging. You're right about James; I've only ever written James once before. I should get to editing that.
The Sirius and Remus scenes actually weren't in the original draft, but I felt like they were necessary to make the point when I was editing. The Remus scene was especially difficult for me. I'm glad you liked them both!Thank you soooo much for the review!
Oh, Peter. Being Voldemort's slave is power...?
Still, great one-shot! I love this character study! Peter's thoughts are all IC with what we know as well as easy to follow and realistic. His choice in the end makes sense, as well, even though it is wrong. I really like how he thinks he'll be gaining power, and how in his mind the usual idea (the Order members fight for a cause, the Death Eaters just serve Voldemort) is reversed, and how he wants to be important. This fic really gives the reader a whole new perspective when it comes to Peter.
Author's Response: Ooh thanks so much for the review!
That's actually what I was getting at, how weird it is for him to think he'd be getting power by relinquishing it all to Voldemort! I'm so happy you picked up on that!Thanks so much for reviewing!
Peter's character has always intrigued me. Why he did what he did, and all. This story answers the questions, in a believable way.
Each flashback was appropriate and fit the whole fic just right.
Peter's characterization is amazing. His feeling low and wanting to show them all. His betrayal. How you have his hands, at the end, 'shimmer like silver' was genius! It connects this fic with the books and Peter getting his silver hand at the end of OotP.
All the pieces fit just right, and the writing was great!
Overall, I love it!
Author's Response: Aww thanks sooo much!
I'm so happy you thought it was believable; that was one of my biggest concerns when I was writing.I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks so much for reviewing! *glomps*
Great job with Peter's characterization! Your description of Voldemort is great also-makes him sound just like a snake! I had to reread this so many times just to catch all the amazing little details like your foreshadowing of Peter's silver hand. I also really like how "One man's traitor is another man's savior" can be taken to describe how the Death Eaters searched for Peter after Voldemort's "death". I'm in awe of how you packed so much into so few words!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words! I had a lot of fun including the little details.
Oh wow, I hadn't even noticed that it would also mean post-Voldemort's fall!Peter also! How clever of you to notice that!Thanks so much for your review!