Reviewer: XenaTwin
Date: 07/03/11 15:41
Chapter: Chapter 1

I really liked this. It was very vivid and very funny and reminded me very much of the song from the Hobbit about the Dwarves breaking all the china. So carefully, carefully, with the plates. :)

Reviewer: wendelin the wierd
Date: 02/18/07 8:26
Chapter: Chapter 1

Alright, my HTML got messed up in the last one.

Let me warn you that this is the first werewolf poem I have read so please bear with my ignoble rants. I would like to start off by saying how much I loved your description of the werewolves; cute and cuddly on the outside but ferocious and savage on the inside. Actually, I can’t imagine werewolves as being cute and cuddly so this part actually made me giggle. Now, I shall proceed to dissect this poem.

His fur is fresh and faintly grey
those eyes are like a summer’s day
but deadly wolves will rip you right apart.
Don’t call him down for dinner;
likely you will be thinner,
after he knocks you down and eats your heart.


The way you have described a werewolf in the beginning of the paragraph is wonderful. They seem so clean and fresh. The simile used there is very effective. By saying that the eyes are like a summer day, the reader gets the impression of cheerfulness and innocence. However, I would suggest removing the ‘right’ in the third line; it doesn’t contribute to the imagery and disturbs the rhythm of the poem. The third, fourth and fifth lines are perfectly balanced.

Those claws beneath those cuddly paws,
those sharpened teeth in gaping jaws,
they’ll tear the paint right off your flawless home.

There is a problem with the third line in this stanza as well. Again, I think that flawless can be removed. Here it does give a strong impression to the reader but it disturbs the rhythm. So now you have to ask yourself, do you want rhythm or imagery?

“Hey, Prongs, dinner at your house tonight?”
“Er, sorry, Moony, but it’s a full moon and—“
“Come on, it will be like the old days.”
“Sorry, I have to set my alarm clock. I got to go.”
“…Prongs?”


I like how you reflect Remus’ character and it links the whole poem about the werewolf to cannon. However, I don’t think that James’ would ever reject Remus like that. James never cared that Remus was a werewolf and would never have rejected him for it, no matter how dangerous it proved to be. So, you have a slight characterisation error there.

Overall, I found your poem to be quite expressive; it conveyed the right amount of emotions to the reader. Both regret and humour were reflected throughout the poem. You manage to get your point across even with a simple word choice. A nice job indeed.

Reviewer: wendelin the wierd
Date: 02/03/07 23:31
Chapter: Chapter 1

Let me warn you that this is the first werewolf poem I have read so please bear with my ignoble rants. I would like to start off by saying how much I loved your description of the werewolves; cute and cuddly on the outside but ferocious and savage on the inside. Actually, I can’t imagine werewolves as being cute and cuddly so this part actually made me giggle. Now, I shall proceed to dissect this poem.

His fur is fresh and faintly grey
those eyes are like a summer’s day
but deadly wolves will rip you right apart.
Don’t call him down for dinner;
likely you will be thinner,
after he knocks you down and eats your heart.


The way you have described a werewolf in the beginning of the paragraph is wonderful. They seem so clean and fresh. The simile used there is very effective. By saying that the eyes are like a summer day, the reader gets the impression of cheerfulness and innocence. However, I would suggest removing the ‘right’ in the third line; it doesn’t contribute to the imagery and disturbs the rhythm of the poem. The third, fourth and fifth lines are perfectly balanced.

Those claws beneath those cuddly paws,
those sharpened teeth in gaping jaws,
they’ll tear the paint right off your flawless home.< I>

There is a problem with the third line in this stanza as well. Again, I think that flawless can be removed. Here it does give a strong impression to the reader but it disturbs the rhythm. So now you have to ask yourself, do you want rhythm or imagery?

“Hey, Prongs, dinner at your house tonight?”
“Er, sorry, Moony, but it’s a full moon and—“
“Come on, it will be like the old days.”
“Sorry, I have to set my alarm clock. I got to go.”
“…Prongs?”


I like how you reflect Remus’ character and it links the whole poem about the werewolf to cannon. However, I don’t think that James’ would ever reject Remus like that. James never cared that Remus was a werewolf and would never have rejected him for it, no matter how dangerous it proved to be. So, you have a slight characterisation error there.

Overall, I found your poem to be quite expressive; it conveyed the right amount of emotions to the reader. Both regret and humour were reflected throughout the poem. You manage to get your point across even with a simple word choice. A nice job indeed.


Author's Response: Thank you for the detailed review, I very rarely recive them! As often the case with humour poetry, some of the word choice was a bit off and you seem to have picked up on it. Unfortunately, I cannot simply remove the words in question as it will disturb the meter. I can however, replace them as long as the stresses are kept the same; which I will do as soon as possible. Thanks again for the great review!

Reviewer: lady magician
Date: 01/02/07 12:14
Chapter: Chapter 1

Funny! I liked this:

He’ll smash your silver china plates,
he’ll scare off all your dinner dates.


Good job! 10/10 :-)

Author's Response: Thank you! That's one of my favourite lines also.

Reviewer: music_is_magic
Date: 01/01/07 23:05
Chapter: Chapter 1

Wow! That was really funny! It's amazing to think of a werewolf at dinner! It would be really funny! Great job.

Author's Response: Thank you. Crazy werewolfs...

Reviewer: tarheelrocker
Date: 12/29/06 21:09
Chapter: Chapter 1

That was good.

Author's Response: Thank you!

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