Reviewer: Cwiddy
Date: 05/09/08 22:31
Chapter: Chapter 1

The description you use here is great...it really shows emotions and actions. The depth of the characters have a chance to show through. Great poem!

Author's Response: Thank you!

Reviewer: Lalalalatina
Date: 06/02/07 11:30
Chapter: Chapter 1

So sad. The words and descriptions you used were very powerful and beautiful.

He tells himself he doesn’t care,
For she made heaven’s face so fair.


A very bittersweet ending. I would never think that Remus would not care if someone died, but I guess there is more to your story. The last line is amazing. Great job. ^^


Author's Response: *Sigh* I absolutely love reviews that make me feel all fuzzy.

Reviewer: Winged Artemis
Date: 02/04/07 7:42
Chapter: Chapter 1

Ooh! Wow!

Brilliant piece of work!

The characters are extremely well done - Amaryllis is in no way a Mary-Sue; just from this poem, her actions are not cliché at all.

The imagery is really clear, and I get a sense of their emotions - and their surroundings.

The only thing I might suggest for next time is that the rhythm is a little off. It starts by going 9 syllables to 7 to 8 to 6 to 9 to 6, etc.

Not like that's a really bad thing; some poets like Emily Dickinson used completely irregular rhythm. However, for a reader here it's a little bit of a bumpy ride.

Anyway, excellent job!

Hannah
Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: I was a bit worried about readers viewing Amaryllis as a Mary-Sue so I was extremely happy after reading your review. Thanks for the amazing feedback!

Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 01/14/07 14:22
Chapter: Chapter 1

Hi there!
Nice sonnet! 'Tis very sad. Good job with the rhymes and overall flow of the poem. I would only suggest changing one of the "And" s starting the lines, since there are three of them. That, of course, changes the rhythm of it all, which is tricky to fix - but it's something to think about for your future poems at least! Lovely job!
*scurries off to read another*
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Gina! *Squishes* Thank you!

Reviewer: crazy_purple_hp_freak
Date: 12/25/06 14:15
Chapter: Chapter 1

*claps* Woo! Yay, you submitted this...you wrote it for Poetry class, right? I remember reading it and being, like, "wow.." The emotions in this are really intense and yet the rhyme and word choice is simple. This poem is really clever and touching. Well done.

Author's Response: Suzie! *Huggles* Thank you.

Reviewer: Lily Roxy
Date: 12/22/06 16:02
Chapter: Chapter 1

I'm going to go cry in a corner now... (that's a compliment to your story by the way)

Author's Response: Awwww...here, use my handkerchief. *Offers*rnrnThank you for the brilliant review. It is absolutely spifftastic if my poem can affect readers in this way.

Reviewer: stareyed_in_LA
Date: 12/22/06 11:07
Chapter: Chapter 1

OMG! I felt like I wanted to cry. Even though I never read anything about Amaryllis, I couldn't help but sympathize her. Poor Remus!

Author's Response: Like I said, it's absolutely amazing to have this effect on readers. Thank you/

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Unexploded Bombs by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Dudley Dursley has just experienced the death of his elderly father Vernon from...
Ginny's Big Decision by dg04 1st-2nd Years
After Dumbledore's Funeral, Harry tells Ginny that they can't be together anymore...
Little Lions by SexY_LydZ 6th-7th Years
On a stormy October evening, a letter, a late night trip to the library and...
FEATURED
Going Against Salazar's Grain by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
"Sometimes," said Dumbledore, "we sort too soon." Originally writtten for...
Whispers in the Night by lucca4 6th-7th Years
"Swear to me, Cissy. Swear you won't tell." It's a secret, and it haunts...
Fear and Loathing in Florida (Mostly Loathing) by minnabird 3rd-5th Years
Scabior and Greyback had to escape the Aurors somehow - they just hadn't expected...
Just Before Healing by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
With Hannah, things always go to yellow.
In Bloom by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 3rd-5th Years
It figures that he ignores the other side of roses. Thorns fit to draw blood...
Magical by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ginny and her brothers sneak down the stairs to look at presents, but instead...
CATEGORIES