Oh, this was really nice! I was quite confused by the fact Remus actually considered committing suicide as a twelve-year-old, but what you are telling us really do make sense.
Poor Remus thtat must have been a horrible feeling. But luckly everything turns out fine for a couple of years and he will eventually find love. Nicley written.
Great, although I had to read it again because I didn't take much in the first time I was too busy thinking 'please don't die please don't die' but I picked up again the second time around and I really enjoyed it =D
Well done Ash, really nice story.
And tell Remus that courage is NOT the absence of fear but the ability to aknowledge it and face it head on.
Again, great story!=Sammy
Author's Response: Wow, thank you for the review. And you're definately right about the courage thing. Thanks again Sammy!
That was very powerful, and moving. Of course, we know that just going back and facing them all is far braver than jumping off a tower. Oh, Remus, of course you're a Gryffindor! *hugs Remus*
Nice fic, really well done.
Author's Response: *also hugs Remus* Thanks for the review!
YAY remus is my favorite character and it really is braver to still live on with your problems suicide is the cowards way out nice writing I usally hate stories with out any dialouge but this was nicely done
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm not sure I agree that suicide is for cowards... but hey. Thanks for the review, glad you enjoyed the fic!
I love this story!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you!
Oh, wow! That was really good!
No, they wouldn’t see him again. That was it, everyone would know, his friends would not want to be near him anymore.
Ouch! That's realy heartbreaking! I think this exerpt here really sets the tone for the rest of the story. Remus' character is excellent.
He stared down at the space below him, over a thousand feet down to the grounds, imagining the fall. How many seconds before you hit the ground? Would you die instantly when you hit it?
Oh, dear. That's a great reality of suicidal thoughts. I'm not saying I'm suicidal, lol, but that really well-portrays his heartbreak.
He should have been somewhere else, in a different House. Was there even a House for useless werewolves?
Awww! Poor Remmy! That part is probably the most touching. Like, his thoughts that he's useless, worthless, etc. =(
You did very well at showing Remus' thoughts, and keeping them up the whole story!
Okay, now for some nitpicks:
Remus Lupin sat at the top of the North Tower, staring into the darkness. He wished he had brought his cloak. It was getting cold on the battlements of the tower, but he couldn’t go back to the dormitory.
The comma should be a period after "cloak", and "it" should be a new sentence.
Not now they knew.
Not know that they knew?
He couldn’t believe they had found out; he thought he had been careful that they’d never know.
You need a little pause after "out". You could put a period there, also.
He couldn’t go back to the common room, or even stay anywhere in the castle right now.
No comma, "not" to "right".
I don't want to go on so you think that I didn't like your story - I did, it was excellent, I'm just a little nitpicky is all. >.<
Anyway, great job!
Knight of the Turnip Table
Author's Response: Don't worry, I can be quite nitpicky too, and help is always appreciated! I feel quite sorry for Remus, he has a lot of problems and copes well, but I don't think he's able to cope all the time. Thanks for the review!!
It was a little bit whangsty but you pulled it off. It was a good way to submit a missed time frame into the history of their friendship. You pulled off the emotions of a 12 year old boy well, I'm not sure I could have done that. I like that in the end he proved he was a Gryffindor.
Author's Response: Thanks! It is a little angsty, yeah, but it seemed to work better that way.
write a sequel please
Author's Response: Sorry, I don't think there'll be a sequel, at least not yet. I'm currently working on a Snape story, although it's slow work.
Author's Response: Okay, I lied. There is a sort of sequel....
awww.... poor moony... this was a brilliant story... you described it so well.
Author's Response: Again, thanks! Glad you liked it!
awww.... poor moony... this was a brilliant story... you described it so well.
Author's Response: Thanks!
Very nice. :]
Maybe, he thought, it wouldn’t be as bad as he thought. If it was, he could kill himself later;
I really like this line. It shows Remus' reasoning, and it keeps him in character by thinking it out like that.
Not looking back, Remus entered the castle again, leaving the cold tower top, leaving the idea of death behind him.
I also like this line as an ending, especially that you said "Not looking back(...)" because we all know that the Marauders accept Remus for who he is, so there wouldn't really be a reason for him to think about suicide once more.
He had had to mature quicker than others, learn to cope with adult difficulties.
So true. Remus did have to mature faster and learn to cope. He knew the harsh realities of life and the cruelties of people.
I really liked this story; I hope to see more from you soon, so keep writing!
Author's Response: The ending took ages to get right, I was never really sure how I would resolve the issue. In the end, his courage came through so he could face his problems. And hopefully he never had a reason to think about it again. Thanks for the review, I'm glad you liked the story.
Wow! This story was nothing short of fantastic. I especially love the way you portrayed Remus. You found the perfect mix of courage, maturity and self loathing that have always made him one of my favorite characters. I'm adding you to my favorites right now, and I can't wait to read your next story.
Author's Response: He's one of my favourite characters too, and I've always thought of him as being more mature than the other Maruders, and acting older than he is. I'm glad you liked it, thanks!
aww, poor baby remus!I think he needs a hug from me....and maybe a kiss.....or a snog......either way!
Author's Response: Lol, I feel sorry for him too.
That is soooo sad how one could feel rejected for being different. Though I can relate I know the pain in being different though that could be a good thing to show the world something new. Though it was never to the extinted of suiside. Though one thing
Would a ture Gryiffindor kill him self cuz he did not want to show his face.
That is not brave hidding in a corner is corwardly!!
Oh by the way this is not an insult I luved it. The way you captured his fear and hurt it was secktactular!!!!! Oh and i added your story to one of my fav list.
I'm trying to write a story also so any advise?
Author's Response: I can relate to facing rejection due to being different too, that's part of the reason I wrote the story this way. I think you would have to be brave to actually go through with suicide, but it takes a different kind of bravery to face up to your problems, and this is what Remus showed, so he's a true Gryffindor. After all, being brave isn't not being scared, it's dealing with your fears. Don't worry, I didn't take it as an insult at all. With your story, make sure it's believable and that your characters stay in character.
When I first read the title, I wasn't very intrigued. There've been so many tales about what makes a Gryffindor or what is courage. However, being a Gryffindor HoH on the forums, I couldn't help but read your idea of what a Gryffindor is. And boy, am I glad I clicked on this link.
I haven't read many Marauder-era stories besides those with James/Lily. It's refreshing to read a story about Remus' point of view, though, on the moment he found out his friends knew about his condition. There've been a lot of takes on this, and many a good story has come from that moment Remus found out. But, I've never read a story this powerful before. Never had I thought that Remus would actually entertain the notion of death after his friends found out because, in my opinion, it's not a big deal if my friends find out I'm a werewolf. Easier said than done, is what you proved to me.
I love the tone you've given Remus. The dejected feelings are reflected perfectly off of the thoughts that run frantically through Remus' mind, the disgust in himself so evident. I feel so sorry for him after reading the small yet important portion about his family and their fears of his "wildness." His belief that all he does is take up space also pangs my heart because as we read on in the series, we've (or at least, I've) come to love Remus for the person he is.
There are some technical mistakes in this piece that should be corrected if possible. "Twelve-year-old" is hyphenated as is "fifteen-year-old." "House," when referring to the four Houses of Hogwarts, should always be capitalised. And there are a few run-ons in your story (where you replace the period with a comma). Other than that, it's a good, clean piece with great and imaginative descriptions.
Good job! Hope to see another story from you very soon!
-Marauder by Midnight
Author's Response: I love his character too, to me, it doesn't matter that he's a werewolf, and luckily his friends share this view. I will try to correct the errors, thanks for pointing them out, and thanks for the great review.