I love love love love it!
great story:) congrats on second place you deserved first!
Author's Response: Thanks! ~Lindsey :)
This is great!! I read another thing like this. Have you read the fake fanfic version of DH, a long one? Well, Ron and Hermione were having a conversation where the woman got the man a gold chain for his pocket watch and he got her a barrette for her hair, but then they found out that the guy sold the watch and the owman sold her hair. But great anyways!
Author's Response: That's most likely right--- it was based off a prompt for 'The Gift of the Magi', and that's what happened in that story, just with different items--- the story wasn't really about the items, just for the love the two people had to give up their most cherished possessions to be with the other. Thanks so much for the review!
Oh, this story seems to have been written long ago, but it is cute. I've read Gift of the Magi and it's a beautiful story. This one is beautiful too! Ron and Hermione reminded me exactly of Della and Jim.
Author's Response: That's what I was aiming for, to at least remind oyu a bit of the original. I'm so glad that this has been reviewed, because it was originally written for something for Christmas, but I'm glad you liked it. :) ~Lindsey :)
Awwwwww. So sweet
Author's Response: Thanks! ~Lindsey :)
Aw, that was so sweet!
My favorite thing was the characterization- Ron and Hermione were both great. They each worked at places that seemed to fit them, and the gifts that they chose to give each other were both things I can see them giving. And the dialogue at the end was really well written— “I just wanted you to have a good Christmas, but I guess---” Ron started. — it sounds like something they would say. :]
Another thing I loved was how you wove in things from the actual books throughout the story— Ron’s broom, the homework planner, and how he always received second-hand things. It added a lot to the story, I think, by sort of reminding the reader of what their lives were like.
There were a couple things that I saw in the story that confused me a little. I didn’t quite understand what was going on with Ron’s job. You mention that there are more raids, and that he’s been spending less time at home, but in the next paragraph you say that he was laid off, and never tell why. Was his job not ‘important’ enough, or is there another reason?
Also, I think in this sentence the wording could be a little clearer. It’s a little nit-picky, but since it’s the beginning of the story, it’s good to be clear so you can keep the readers interest.
He hadn’t had the money to get into the top-most training of the job, yet he had made it through somehow.
It’s another question about Ron’s job—I’m not sure what he made it through to. Maybe if you added what he was able to pay for, not the best, but still a program that worked.
She was amazed that something as small as that could cost more than seven, but though it no use in fretting over the price;
Here, the though either needs to be ‘thought’ or you could change it to, “but it was no use fretting…”
But other than those little things, the story was great! The ending was very fluffy, and sweet, and I’m glad it finished with them learning a good lesson. You definitely deserved your second place, and did the original Gift of the Magi justice—I loved it, Lindsey!
- Melissa :D
Author's Response: Wowzers! What a long review, Melissa! I'm so glad that you reviewed this! LOL, your comments were absolutely awesome! I will go back and change those two sentences; I didn't even realize! Thanks so much for taking the time to read my work! *giggles* ~Lindsey :)
i will be nice on this one..i like it girlfriend
Author's Response: OMG! You like ONE of my stories! *claps and cheers* Well, isn't that nice. I'm glad you liked it though. ~Lindsey :)
Hi Lindsey, I've seen you around the forums and thought I would have a look at some of your writing! I'm Phily btw :) I know it's not Christmas still but I thought this was a really sweet story! I can definately imagine Ron and Hermione doing that for each other, and a little baby too! Hehe! Your writing style is very friendly and easy to read (which is what you want, right??) This made me smiley and I very much liked your little message at the end. Keep up the writing, I will continue to read more of your work as soon as I get the chance! Well done and I will see you around the forums!
Author's Response: Awww! Thanks so much, phily! LOL, I have seen you around the forums, too! Thanks so much for your lovely compliments, and yes, that's what I like to hear! That'd be absolutely spifferifically fantastic if you would r nd r some more.. I'll check out some of your too! Thanks, ~Lindsey :)
Author's Response: LOL, and the things is, I didn't think that I would be getting any more reviews for this.. as it isn't Christmas.. lol
Cool, fluffy story! I like how the reader can definately tell it's based on Gift of the Magi, but it had touches of Harry Potter, and of your own great writing! Ron and Hermione are both completely IC, and their love is really made clear through this simple, short but very sweet story!
Author's Response: Aw! Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad that you liked it and thought that I kept the two in character. 'Twas very fun to write! ~Lindsey :)
As with the other reviewers of this story, I should start off by saying, "Awww!" That was very adorable. I almost wish I'd read it before the holidays. It definitely has that holiday, gift-giving spirit in it that fits very well with the respective time of year.
I really liked the backgrounds you gave Ron and Hermione in this story. I especially liked that Hermione worked at a library. That seemed to fit her very well. You kept Ron and Hermione very well in character, and the additions you made for them were all the more captivating.
Here's just a few things I noticed. Whether you feel they need to be changed or not is really up to you. They're just suggestions of course. : )
1. In the first part you say that, "they still needed to buy a few more Christmas presents for their family and friends." However, you begin the next sentence by saying: "They had already bought things for their family," and then you proceed to say what Ron and Hermione bought for their family/friends. You may want to change that first sentence to make the following fit better.
2. You say the word "money" about four times in the first part. I just thought it was a bit much, but the second time I read it I didn't notice it so much. Still, a substitute word might be nice.
3. When Ron is hiding from Hermione he says to himself, "What was she doing here?" Shouldn't it be "What is she doing here?" Seeing as she's still there, and he just saw her, I thought that would make more sense.
Those were the only little things I noticed. Your ending, I should say, was spectacular and really had a nice message about Christmas and gift-giving in general. I think your dialogue for the character by the end of the story was at its best, and made the ending all the better. Great job! I'm glad I took a look at it.
Author's Response: Hi Michael *waves* Thank you so much for your spifferific review! You did a great job, Lindsey is very happy. I will go back and change a few things some other time. Thank you so much for your compliments; you don't know what they mean to me when someone squees about my work! Te he, and I'm glad that you took a look at it too. I should be "taking a look" at your chapter 2 sometime soon! Thanks for your lovely review! ~Lindsey :)
This is one of those stories that makes you realise everything you've taken for granted....and it made me think....good job
Author's Response: SHANE!! Hey buddy. Thanks for finally taking the time to review. LOL, I know I've pestered! Te he! Thanks, I'm glad you liked it; I know that you don't like mushy romances.. Torture? Maybe. *giggles* ~Lindsey :)
This was heart-warming and ironic (is that oxymoranic?)
I love how you had Ron and Hermione several years older, but still in character. You represented how much Hermione and Ron care for eachother by showing they would give up some of their most prized possesions, just to give the other a happy christmas.
One thing I found a bit odd was that Hermione and Ron waited seven years to get married when they're obviously crazy about eachother. was it the complications of the war?
Still, amazing fic! I look forward to more!
Author's Response: Aw! Te he! Thanks Ashley! Uh.. yeah. Ron and Hermione waited that long to get married because of the war, yes. LOL, thans for your lovely review! ~Lindsey :)
Aww! That's so adorable! It's the kind of story that makes you feel good inside just from reading it.
I can't imagine Hermione selling all of her books! As a book-lover, that would be the ultimate in torture... which really shows how much she values her relationship with Ron. She loves him more than ALL of her books put together. That's so sweet!
I absolutely ADORE your characterization of Ron. So many stories make him out to be completely stupid (especially in Humour) or else completely perfect (especially in Romance), but your Ron is a real person, with flaws and positive traits, and I like the way that you took the Ron that we all know from the books and matured him a little bit. You did an excellent job of showing people's emotions in your writing, which means that the reader empathizes with the characters. Although the piece is short, it's memorable.
Wal-Tart, heehee... I have no idea why that made me laugh. I guess it reminded me of Volde-Mart.
The last sentence was absolutely beautiful! Great job!
After reading your marvelous review of "To Be Or Nott to Be," I just had to check out your work, and I'm glad I did!
Author's Response: Aw! Thanks so much Schmergo! I loved reviewing your story! 'Twas amazing! I'm glad that you liked my characterization of Ron. He was fun to write, as was Hermione. Thanks for your review! It made me smile! :) ~Lindsey :)
Hi Lindsey! Sorry it took a while to post this review. I've been rather lazy of late, to be honest.
Nice job on the story. I enjoyed reading it. Ron and Hermione were very well-characterised and I think their jobs suit them well. However, one thing I noticed was an overuse of commas. Just something to watch out for in the future. There were also a few dialogue errors. Still, I think you did a good job.
One other thing I would like to see in your writing is a bit more detail. I would have liked to see Ron and Hermione while they were trading in their possessions to buy Christmas presents for each other and how they felt about it. Also a bit more insight into their emotions through the rest of the story as well and perhaps a bit more description.
Nice job on the story and I'm looking foward to reading more from you! :)
Author's Response: *giggles* Hi Jenn! *waves* Okay, I understand about the dialogue. I'll look back on it too, eventually, because I'm being lazy too. It's the Christmas holidays for me until...er-Wednesday. *groans* I'll hopefully go back and fix some things by then. Thanks for your help and your lovely review, buddy!! ~Lindsey :)
Oh, how sweet! I love the story Gift of the Magi and I love this story too. I thought that working in a bookstore was the perfect job for Hermione and I liked that Harry was able to hold the Defense Against the Dark Arts position for over a year. He broke the curse!
The place had basically everything, and it was like some store that Harry had mentioned awhile back...“Wal-Tart”… he thought it was. “Sounds like some sort of food," he thought to himself. ”Which reminds me. I’m hungry…”
That made me chuckle. I loved that part. Oh, and the last sentence:
You don’t always need gifts to have a good Christmas; you just have to have a good person to share it with.
I loved that line. It is so true. Another thing I liked was the way you let the reader know what was going on in other people's lives without going into too much detail, like you did with Harry and the twins. I thought this story was very cute and sweet and much better than the Gift of the Magi parody I had to write for my creative writing class.
Author's Response: Awwww! Thank you SO much for your lovely comments Catherine! They truly made my day! LOL, I'm glad that you liked the Wal-Tart thing. I was reading one of the HP books the same day that I was writing this, and I read some sentence about a Treacle Tart, and nothing else really ryhmed with Wal-Mart! LOL, but thank you so much for the lovely review! ~Lindsey :)
Aww, that was really cute. I liked Ron's characterization the best. Hermione, well... seeing as she was brilliant I don't see her just working in a bookstore, but I know that you had prompts, so.... :) Anyway, I found one mispelling, I think "others" was supposed to be "brothers" in the paragraph when you were describing everyone's gifts.
Author's Response: Oopsie! Te he, thanks for that, I'll have to look in on the brothers. Thanks, I've heard "cute" rather a lot! LOL, but it's better than crap; I meant for it to be cute! But, lol, I'm glad that you liked it! Thanks so much for your review! ~Lindsey :)
AWww! How cute! I really liked the whole idea of this. It was so cute. How they each sacrificed something for each other. I also do most all my shopping at Wal-tart. *wink* Great Job!!!!
Author's Response: Wal-Tart! Yes, I couldn't really think up anything else that rhymed, and we've seen Trealce Tart before.. so why not Wal-Tart? LOL. Random-ness is kicking in, but w/e. Thanks you so much for your review! I'm really glad that you liked it! ..I hope it wins... *crosses fingers*
Author's Response: Silly typos... Treacle' Tart! Thanks for your review! Again... I'll go and check out some of your stories!
Oh, Diz! That was really touching. I ususally don't read R/Hr, but this was really sweet. :) :) :) I do like that Ron and Hermione were poor, actually, becuase it 's becoming rather cliché for Ron and Hermione to be rich. I shall say again, it was really touching; their love was really evident, and the whole 'i sold my ______ to get you your _____" was really sad - in a good way. Great job! Spiffing! :)
Author's Response: Aw!! Thanks Hannah! You made my day, buddy! First review, I'm totally going to use your word... that was spifferic!! LOL. ~Thanks! Lindsey :)