Reviews For Immortal
Reviewer: kehribar
Date: 09/08/08 12:56
Chapter: Immortal

Oh, Sunray, this brought tears to my eyes! And that's saying something, because a story written in English hardly ever affects me so much. It's only when it's written this amazingly!

Perhaps it's because I've been writing a Remus/Tonks story myself and that I'm in the mood that this story touched me so much. To be able to describe grief and mourning so perfectly... it's astonishing.

I don't know how much role Kumy has had in keeping the characters IC, but in the end, this is your writing, and I congratulate you on how well you captured Tonks and her feelings for Remus. A letter to the gone is slightly overused in my opinion, though you made it fit perfectly with the emotion and the characters. Maybe, despite being something of a fangirl, I wouldn't describe Remus in such a positive light, but you managed to convey through the letter how Tonks saw him, and it's heart-breaking. An excellent way to visualise such a strong part of Tonks's character.

The part where she visits Remus's memories is heart-wrenching. It so vividly sharpens the sense of loss, and I felt my heart breaking at the sentence Then I break out of the memory. I cannot bear it any longer. Because neither could I.

I also think the ghost-Boggart was genius. It's so smoothly blended into the flow - it doesn't stand out as the idea of Remus returning as a ghost would in any other conjuncture, but makes the reader subtly wonder, and it perfectly evolves into the Boggart, wrapping up the scene excellently. It's a truly masterful writing, Sunray.

I love such fiction that thus affects me, and this is a perfect piece of writing, especially for those who love a good Remus/Tonks. :)

Author's Response: :DDD Ayse, I'm so thrilled you liked it!! Kumy's part in keeping Tonks IC was making her a lot less weepy and poetic. She was kinda wimpy before. I'm possitively flattered that you like this story (which happens ot be the favorite one that I've written). Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Katie616
Date: 05/07/08 19:32
Chapter: Immortal


That story made me cry so hard. . . poor Tonks! *wails*

I really liked how when he came back, it just felt wrong. You did the wrongness perfectly. I mean, even though it was wrong. *laugh through her tears*

This is a really amazing story. . . and you're an incredible writer. . . *sniffle*

lol *watery chuckle* My Pandora station just started playing '21 and Invincible' while I was typing this. Funny, in a really ironic way.

Anyway, thank you so much for granting this little piece of amazing writing to all us undeserving readers.

Author's Response: OMG! Katie! I'm glad you liked it :) This story is my baby. lol. Pandora does tend to have a way of reading our minds, aye?

Reviewer: h_vic
Date: 03/18/07 19:31
Chapter: Immortal

I thought I'd leave you a review in exchange for the gorgeous banner.

This story is simply beautiful - so haunting. I think the constant switch between what she is writing and her thoughts makes a really effective contrast between the poetic and the painfully real. It just gives a lovely balance to the fic.

I thought the idea of him giving her the vial of his memories was very sweet as well - it had me blinking back tears.

One tiny little typo I noticed was that you had "trusted you friends" when I assume you wanted "your" in the "Confidence" paragraph.

All in all a beautifully written, moving story. :o)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad it ended up like that - I wasn't sure when the ghost / boggart frst showed up (when I was first writing it) but your assurances calmed that. I will fix up that typo momentarily. Thank you so much for the review! ~Sunray

Reviewer: Jenn_Weasley
Date: 01/24/07 15:09
Chapter: Immortal

Whew!! I'm glad that was a boggart! You had me scared for a minute there. Very haunting - well done.

Author's Response: thank you!

Reviewer: crazy_purple_hp_freak
Date: 12/30/06 12:53
Chapter: Immortal

Aww! That was really touching, and I had tears in my eyes… you’ve captured Tonks’ emotions really well, especially in the written parts in italics. I love the use of a single word at the start of each paragraph: “Loyalty. Love. Mortality” etc. Just one word and then more description makes the death sound more final.

You were like a unicorn among horses. Now I know better. All men are mortal, we all die…no matter how much you care for them.

Wow. You have a really poetic way of writing! The imagery about the unicorn is fantastic, showing how much Remus must have meant to her, ‘standing out’ amongst everything else. The next sentence is brutally honest, yet fantastically written. It was the bluntness that I found really tearful, as if Tonks knows that everything is pointless, cannot be changed etc, so she has no way out. :(

My brown hair falls into my eyes and I brush it away impatiently. Is this a hint that she can’t metamorphose? (sp?) Good job, anyway.

I just have a tiny nitpick: Ridiculous!" I shout through my tears. Here, the spell should be “Riddikulus” to get rid of the boggart.

This was a great story with a truly moving atmosphere to it; really well written. Good luck in the challenge!~Suzie

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! The refrence to the brown hair was, in fact, a refrence to that that she can't metamorphose, good job on catching that! I will go fix that up right now! *hurries off* Thank you so so so so much for the review! ~Sunray

Reviewer: Cheshlin
Date: 12/13/06 15:42
Chapter: Immortal

Ok, I have tears falling down my face. That was such a sad story. It is very interesting that her greatest fear would be Remus coming back as a ghost. It does make total sense though. It was a very touching and sad story, but very well worth the read! Tonks is a favorite of mine, and you truly did her justice. Cyns

Author's Response: I am glad you liked it, and relieved you think I did Tonks justice *sighs with relief* Thanks for the review :)

Reviewer: hermy_loves_ron
Date: 12/12/06 21:39
Chapter: Immortal

That is so sad! But beautiful. I was so sure Remus wouldn't come back as a ghost, or blame her...but that whole part was brilliant.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :)

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