Reviews For A Holiday Haunting
Reviewer: coolcat456
Date: 06/22/07 12:50
Chapter: A Holiday Haunting

cool story

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I had fun with this one, ghosts and all. I'm glad you liked it, thanks so much for reading it and leaving a nice review!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: Shadow2007
Date: 06/04/07 1:04
Chapter: A Holiday Haunting

Simply adorable!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I hope it was a nice little holiday read on the cusp of summer. ;) I had fun with Draco's ghost in this one, poor guy. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for reading it and leaving such a nice review!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: AlexisTaylor
Date: 01/25/07 22:39
Chapter: A Holiday Haunting

“Ron gazed contentedly around the cozy room. Fred and George were sitting in a corner with Ginny, quietly showing her one of their newest products. Their father was talking softly with Remus Lupin about Order business, as Nymphadora Tonks tried to help clean up in the kitchen. Ron heard a particularly loud crash, followed by a muffled apology and an exasperated sigh. Tonks appeared in the doorway, shrugged sheepishly when Lupin glanced up at her, and joined Bill and Fleur in conversation by the fire. Charlie patted her on the shoulder as he stood to help his mother in the other room; Ron was glad, as he didn’t particularly feel like moving from the sofa.”

I’m not a big fan of scenes like these, where someone tries to portray a room of activity. I had to reread the paragraph in order to grasp all the activity. Maybe spacing it out could help smooth it. There just seems to be too much going on in that short of a reading time. As far as these types of paragraphs go, it was good though.

Harry shrugged. “Sure,” he replied dully, then smiled sadly. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. One last game before we . . .” he left the rest unsaid, and Ron quickly stood up before the conversation turned gloomy.

This is just an excellent example of how well you are portraying Harry here. He’s sullen, but not in a morose, teenage angst sort of way. You show that he’s got a lot on his mind, but still carefully skirt around the issue, just as Ron would. You stick with point-of-view in this story very well, too.

“George! I know you’re there, come out and reverse this or else!”

I think ‘come out’ should be a new sentence.

“You sleep with your wand, you prat,” growled Ron, and Harry laughed.

I’m not sure why, but this line really made me laugh. It’s so difficult to find an author that can portray Ron in a realistic way, instead of reducing him to an annoying dunce. You are so great at characterization! I’m really, really impressed.

“Pooottteeerrr!” The voice was familiar. A face full of ice stopped his second shout, and Harry found himself flung backwards into a large pile of snow. He stood quickly and an otherworldly laughter filled the air as another shower of snow rained down on him from the dark.

This is just another example of excellent description. You have a way of setting a scene, setting a mood, without being too verbose.

On another anal retentive note, Wizarding world needs to be capitalized.

I love the ending, even if it felt like it came a bit too quickly. It felt slightly rushed. Still, it was a believable ending that was not quite fluffy, but nice just the same. You’ve got wonderful grammar skills, great characterization and a flow that makes your one-shot a fast read.



Author's Response: Oh my! What an amazing review! This must be a SPEW review, yes? *SQUEE!* Thank you so much for reading this story! I really appreciate all of your comments. *blushes and then takes notes* It is so encouraging to hear what one is doing well. I really try to stay true to JKR's characters, and I'm so happy I've succeeded, especially with poor Ron. I'm glad you enjoyed the descriptions, I always think I should do more. It is also so helpful to know what one's readers may find not-so-good, like rushed endings. I could see expanding on this one a bit, now that I think about it. Plus it's something I can look out for in future stories *thinks about current challenge entry* Thank you so much for both the compliments and constructive criticism!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: lucilla_pauie
Date: 01/14/07 23:44
Chapter: A Holiday Haunting

hello gina,
i've been reading your fics and seeing your name around here for quite some time now so i know how talented and kind you are, really chumming up with us here. anyway, i love this story, i read it during the holidays on my phone while on vacation. every character is perfectly canon AND you made my heart catch in my throat with the love and empathy you have woven here without being mushy.
i loved A Perfect Christmas, and An Uplifting Adventure too. :)

Author's Response: Wow, thank you for the amazing compliments! You are just too kind! *blushes* I'm so glad you liked this story, and thrilled you picked up on some of the deeper themes I wanted to work into the context of a spooky ghost story. I'm also happy the characters seemed real too you, I knew that was tricky coming into it. And thanks for reading my other stories as well, I'm glad you enjoyed them! Thank you so much for the awesome review, what a wonderful note to wake up to today! I really appreciate your kind words, thanks again!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 01/03/07 18:29
Chapter: A Holiday Haunting

This was very unique, very creative, and well thought-out. Most definitely something I wouldn't have dared to try - and something you did well.

Now, Harry and Draco's characterization are right to a point, in my opinion - but let me explain. Also, keep in mind that you've already done a good job - better than I can do - with their characterization. Just, since this is a challenge story, there's always room for improvement, eh? ;)

Harry, to me, is a bit too mature. I mean he grew up a lot at the end of HBP when he left Ginny. But I don't know if he's mature enough to let go of the pain of only a few months ago to help Draco. He won't be as angsty as after Sirius died...but I don't think he has Dumbledore's ability to forgive and accept just yet.

Now, I realize this would change the whole plot if Harry couldn't forgive Draco. I suggest adding one more event to swing the tide in Draco's favor - maybe Draco helped Harry at one point against someone he disliked more, or showed mercy...something to make Harry forget the pain of the Death Eaters entering Hogwarts, Bill getting hurt etc.

Second, you have Draco down pat - his snarky side. But to me, this Draco sounds more like the Draco from before HBP. In HBP, I think Draco grew up a little - learned the little barbs don't really matter. I actually happen to think you should show Draco attempting to be polite - after all, he's asking for help.

I really liked how you counted Snape and Crabbe/Goyle out before Draco seeks help from the Trio. Makes the relationship plausible. :)

Anyway, so your Harry and Draco are perfectly characterized. But Harry seems a bit too old, and Draco a bit too young.

Again, please don't suffer doubts about your characterization. I'm nitpicking (MAJORLY) right now. You've done a better job at characterization than many other authors including myself could.

Just things to think about. Good luck in the challenge, love! (Thanks for the review for Illusion.)

Kumy

Author's Response: Ah! Kumy, I thought I responded to this already - I know we PMed about our stories, so that must be what I am thinking of. And then I saw your post in the review thread and thought - oh no, did I respond?? *headdesk* I'm so sorry for not replying sooner - THANK YOU so much for the awesome review!! I'm so happy you came to read this story. :D I'm glad you liked it and really appreciate your comments on the characters. I understand what you are saying - Harry and Draco are in character, but maybe not for the point in life that they are at in this story. I wonder how I can tweak that, I will definitely think about it. And it is really a great thing for me to keep in mind for future stories - as fanfic writers we try to stay in character with what JKR has given us so far, but then we have to allow for these characters to develop within our own stories as well, which is sometimes tricky (like here!) Thank you so much for the wonderful comments! I've really enjoyed reading your stories and getting to know you on the boards. *turnip hug to a toaster* Thanks again and see you around! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: crazy_purple_hp_freak
Date: 12/30/06 12:41
Chapter: A Holiday Haunting

Oooh! I have to admit that when I read the summary, I wasn’t really sure what to expect but this story turned out to be a very heart warming and somewhat surprising read! I loved the mix of happiness, sadness, love, and *pranks* in this, and the curiosity of who the ghost was and what they wanted, kept me intrigued and reading on.

You sleep with your wand, you prat,” growled Ron, and Harry laughed. I don’t know why that sentence made me laugh so much.. *giggle* Seems like the sort of thing that Ron would say!

“Sorry, mudblood,” the voice continued in a lazy drawl, “but I’m tired of waiting for you to puzzle out the mystery.” I totally *squeed* when I read this bit! Your characterisation of Draco is very good; the moment I saw “Mudblood” and “drawl”, I kind of figured!

Draco was silent for a moment as he narrowed his eyes. “I need your help,” he finally admitted, sounding extremely reluctant. Definitely IC! I love this twist in the story, about Draco needing the help of the Trio/Harry. This sentence seemed exactly the way that Draco would say it; you’ve captured the reluctance and the desperation in his voice really well!

“Have you ever felt the life drain from your dying body, Potter? Have you ever seen your own mother weep over your silent corpse, unable to do anything for her pain? Have you ever watched someone you love die?” This part was so intense and powerful! You’ve really made clear how much Draco has suffered in this war, and in doing so, how much he has matured and had to swallow his pride to do this. This bit shows not only so much about how Draco has suffered, but you’ve managed to relate it well to what Harry as seen and experienced too. I can see this as being a major contributing factor to Harry believing and forgiving Draco, now that Draco has appealed to the ‘heart’ and described something that Harry can truly understand.

He was arrogant and cruel, but he was also caught up in events that were far too big and moved far too fast for him. Exactly. *sniff* Poor Draco. I’m sure Harry can see now how much Draco was just pulled along at school by Slytherin prejudices, family honour and such rubbish. He couldn’t help it really… *pats Draco on the shoulder* …and when given the choice, Draco would have taken the right path.

I just have one – not a picky comment, more of a suggestion… I noticed that you (and a lot of other people actually, use the word “already?” a lot. Like in: “Then go, already,” said Harry. and “Would you stop defending them and do the counterjinx already?” interrupted Ron. I don’t know if this is an Americanism or not, but “already” isn’t usually used in this context in standard Brit talk. :)

Anyway, this story (like all your others :p) is amazing! Seriously. The characterisation in particular I liked…and of course, the idea of a (partially) repented Draco. *squee* Good luck! :D ~Suzie

Author's Response: Oh my!! Thank you SO MUCH for the amazing review. What a lovely way to end the year! You are way too kind and have once again made my day! :D Thank you for reading this story, and so many others. I am sort of glad you were surprised, it's nice to write something different every once in a while (and I think it was different for me, in some ways.) I am thrilled with your comments about characterization, because I really bothered my beta about that! I was certain someone would tackle me for killing Draco. ;) Are you a Draco fan? I like him much more after writing about him, which seems to be the case whenever I tackle a new character. I'm glad I got him right! Thanks for pointing out how overused "already" can be - that's one of those things that is sometimes hard to notice in dialogue, so I can keep my eye out for it (I know I use "then" in dialogue too much so now I can watch for both :P.) I am so happy you liked this story. I reallly appreciate the wonderful review and the good luck. Thank you *so much* - Happy New Year!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: Transcendence
Date: 12/11/06 1:10
Chapter: A Holiday Haunting

This was great, I initially thought it'd been the work of Fred and George - after all, they are the epitome of mischievousness - and I liked the ending the best. Very original story idea!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! The trio thought it was Fred and George too - hope you were surprised by the real ghost! I'm glad you enjoyed the ending, it was tricky for me. Thanks for reading this story, I really appreciate your lovely review!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: LovelyxLena
Date: 12/10/06 23:41
Chapter: A Holiday Haunting

Yeah. It was the perfect mix of mystery and the jolly christmas spirit! I did think that there was something with the necklace ron gave hermione, but i guess i was wrong.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the second review! I'm glad it was mysterious, I sort of wanted to build up to revealing who the ghost was. As for the necklace - I never thought about that being anything other than what it was, how interesting! It is from another story I wrote. Thanks again for reading this one, and leaving such a nice review!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: EmilyJayne
Date: 12/10/06 20:25
Chapter: A Holiday Haunting

I LOVED a perfect Christmas and this was a GREAT follow up! One of the best Winter's Tales that I have browsed! (But then a Christmas Story was/is one of my favorite R/HR stories ever!)
GREAT JOB!!!

Author's Response: Thank you - again! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: EmilyJayne
Date: 12/10/06 20:24
Chapter: A Holiday Haunting

I LOVED a perfect Christmas and this was a GREAT follow up! One of the best Winter's Tales that I have browsed! (But then a Christmas Story was/is one of my favorite R/HR stories ever!)
GREAT JOB!!!

Author's Response: Hi there! Wow, thank you for the compliments! I'm so glad you read this story - yes, it's a sequel to A Perfect Christmas, you are one of the first to pick up on that! I'm glad you liked them both. :) Thank you so much for the wonderful review, I really appreciate it!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: the maraurders
Date: 12/10/06 17:02
Chapter: A Holiday Haunting

good, I like it

Author's Response: I'm glad! :) Thanks for reading this story and leaving a nice review!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: Cheshlin
Date: 12/10/06 16:41
Chapter: A Holiday Haunting

That was a wonderful story! I totally get why Ron, Hermione, and Harry all thought of Fred and George when they encountered the funny business. It is funny that Draco would pull all those pranks when what he really wanted was help, but I could see him doing it. I'm glad it was Harry that had the insight to the heart that would help Draco move on. That truly is his area of specialty. Thanks for a wonderful story!

Author's Response: Thank *you* for a wonderful review! I really appreciate you reading this story (especially since its a bit on the long side). It does seem to be Harry's place to figure out the deep things, doesn't it? I couldn't see Ron or Hermione saying those things, after all; it just seemed like it was Harry's lesson to learn about compassion and forgiveness. I'm glad you liked it! I'm really glad you found Draco in character too, it was a fine line to walk with this story! Thanks again for reading it, and for the wonderful review, I really appreciate it!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: Gonz
Date: 12/10/06 13:50
Chapter: A Holiday Haunting

Very interesting and orginal. I like how Malfoy got revenge on Harry for pelting him with snowballs while invisible, by doing the same. The ending had a good message, Harry seems to have learned a vaulable lesson about forgiveness. Good job and good luck!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you for the wonderful review! I really appreciate you reading this story. I hope you liked it, it is a bit different. ;) Yes, Harry did learn something at the end. I seem to have developed a fondness for sentimental endings lately. ;) Thanks again for the review!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: LovelyxLena
Date: 12/10/06 13:38
Chapter: A Holiday Haunting

Wow... Yeah the characterization. This was brilliant.

Author's Response: Thanks for the compliment! So the characterization was okay, then? I hope so, I wasn't sure how people might receive Draco as a ghost, let alone Harry helping him move on, but that was the challenge! Thank you for reading this story, and for a lovely first review!! ~Gina :)

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