Ok so this might sound horrid , but I'm actually smiling at the thought of Hector dead... I hated him since the beggining! As for Joce' , Im happy and sad, she doesnt have to deal with that dunder head anymore yet she can't pursue Sirius any longer.... I truly think I might cry. Bravo once again trinity !
Hello there! Canis Majoris, if you remember was the first fic I read. That was quite a long time ago. Now here I am, leaving a SPEW review for you! I love the relationships you've created between your characters, and my favourite concept has always been that, though distantly related, Jocelyn and Sirius are both Blacks and have been able to share experiences forever, something Hector never understood.
In any case, I love the way you began this. It's captivating, really. The reader is drawn in by Jocelyn's practice with herself, and her discontent is revealed immediately.
Besides, it wasnít the thought of Sirius that had caused her to contemplate divorce for months now; it was life with Hector himself. This is an interesting thought, and unexpected. I'm glad you clarified that; it makes more sense and is more particular to your story that Jocelyn isn't unhappy solely because of Sirius.
At school, he had been in the same group as James, along with Peter Pettigrew and, of course, Sirius Black. This line is especially good because the reader probably both knows it from canon and from Canis Majoris, yet you still thought to include it. This is mostly because it makes it as though you're writing a companion short story, not an additional fanfic, if you know what I mean.
Oh, I love the paragraph after Remus's announcement. It's ridiculously sad, but very real at the same time. Your flawless syntax doesn't hinder it, either. The whole effect of Jocelyn's feelings can be felt right to the heart.
She felt oddly detached, oddly unreal. I don't know if you meant it, but you used the phrase 'strangely unreal' in the paragraph mentioned above. Maybe you could use another word instead of 'unreal'.
(Remus either didnít know the details or didnít want to tell them) Does this part have anything to do with Sirius, or is it just about Harry? That wasn't completely clear. Also, I would change 'them' to 'her', because that's an indirect object pronoun location, I believe.
'Putter along through life's mundanities' is a brilliant phrase, and a lovely way to express what you meant there.
For a moment they looked at each other. Then Jocelyn said in an odd voice, ďThatís not funny. Thatís not funny at all.Ē I've always wondered as to how Sirius's friends would react when they heard about this, and you've written it brilliantly. All the shock and horror and incredulity and such that would be natural when one best friend supposedly kills another is there.
After all, you could only destroy a personís world so much at a time. Oh, this part made me unendingly sympathetic for your characters. How horrible a sentence this would have to be to think.
She disliked Crouch; he got on too well with Hector. That's a good idea, to make Hector a Crouch type. Is Hector in Crouch's department? Do they share any jobs?
Oh, Jocelyn. What a life, to receive news like that in such rapid succession and in such a way! I can't imagine what happened to her then. It's just so completely terrible - I hope she still has Remus in whom she can confide in the future.
Anyway, you've made another evocative, emotional masterpiece out of this, especially from Jocelyn's PoV in the presentation of events here. Thank you for sharing it, and for your story!
I was hoping for more from the other story.Thank you and I love your spin on the characters.
wow...........this has got to be the most impressive fic series-----
scratch that, up there on the most impressive series I've read. I would never have guessed any of this when I started Canis Majoris. Truly amazing job.
Very well done. A nice sidebar to the canon.