wow! that's a LOT of hate. mabee add a little luv in there somewhere.u could end it with " I hate that i love you so much". but dramatic, but hey, that's how i roll.
i really thought that at the end she was gonna say and i hate it that i luv u but u wrote something better!
Okay, better towards the end.
Author's Response: Does that mean that you didn't like the start? Well, at least part of it was good anyway!
aaaaaaaw i loved it so much!
Author's Response: aaaaaaaw thank you!
Um... Sorry I tagged that wrong. I used the forums tags instead of the HTML tags. *Hides head in shame*
Author's Response: Ah well, your awesome review makes up for it!
I think you did a good job capturing Ginny’s emotions throughout the fic. They were powerful and deep, and I can definitely see Ginny thinking these things about Harry. However, there are a few things that need improvement.
There were a few grammar and punctuation mistakes, and I would suggest finding a beta on the forums or at PI. They help greatly. I also think that you should work on your descriptions a bit, perhaps put in a bit more detail.
Here is something that I found in the first paragraph. [I]“Everyone else sees you the same way and like you.”[/I] It think it would sound better if it were something like this: [I]Everyone else sees you the same way, and yet they still like you.”[/I] But that’s just my opinion.
The one line of the second paragraph is: [I]But not like me. Not how I do.[/I] I think it would sound better if it were: [I]But not like me. Not the way I do.[/I]
These are just a few. There were also some formatting errors.
I think that you have potential as an author, though. The story was interesting to read and caught my attention. I think you should write more Harry Ginny romances, because I’m interested to see what you can to with their relationship. You are good at characterization and tapping into the thoughts and emotions of characters. I also liked the ending.
[I] I hate it how you don’t understand it. I hate it how you don’t understand me. But, most of all, I hate how I’ve tried, tried to kid myself. Tried to pretend. But I can’t hide it anymore.
I hate you because I can’t.[/I]
This was a great way to wrap up the story because it reveals a lot about what Ginny was thinking throughout the fic. Nicely done.
Author's Response: Wow...... I didn't realize I made that many mistakes so thank you very much for the corrections. Now that I've re-read the story it sounds better with your suggestions than the original. I'm definetly working on more H/G romances but right now I'm trying to get some R/Hr ones on the site. Thank you for the kind critisizm
Two Words: LOVE IT....I don't think a sequel would be too shabby ;-) 10/10
Author's Response: Thank you! I never thought of a sequel but if I get any more readers thinking the same I might consider one
"But most of all I hate the way I don't hate you...not even a little bit...not even at all." The closing lines of Kat's poem in '10 Things I Hate About You'. I had a strong desire to watch that film again after reading this. You've captured Ginny's feelings perfectly. She wants nothing more than to hate him for leaving her, because if she did, the pain would go away. But she loves him so completely that she can't hate him and she hates him for that as well.
Author's Response: I've never seen that movie but I think I should now! Your analyzation of the story is one of the best I've seen so far and definetly the truest. Thank you!
It is very difficult to write a good first person fic and you have done it so well. I think we've all felt as Ginny does. Again very nice job:)
Author's Response: Thank you for the very positive review!
omg SO good......nearly had me in tears cos i know how she feels
Author's Response: Thats how I was feeling when I wrote it. Thanks for reviewing!
This was great, it really brings out Ginny's feelings about Harry and how much she likes him, as much as she denies it.
This was absolutely fantastic. I've never seen anything like this before, and I fell in love with it from the first sentence. Awesome story.
Author's Response: This is definetly the best review I've gotten! Thank you so much for the enthusiasm!
Aww....Thanks Sah! THough I could never be as good as u lol! I must say again, REALLY GOOD! I do think Hate is a very powerful emotion. Love is better though, but hate is powerful, especialy since it can be driven by love (example, Harry hates voldy cause of love for his dead parents)
So yeah! Good job Sah! Hope to read more of your stories soon!
*adds, not deos. Sorry, looooong day at work. :)
Ooooh, angsty Ginny, I love it. Yeah, I did see the parallelism, and it deos add greatly to the force to the piece.
Even if it sounds repetative (tot he reviewer below, not me) it's not. That is really how people think which is what I believe you were trying to get across, right? Thoughts?
People don't think in lateral lines, thought are extremely random and often very repetative, Especially teenage girls, ;). She would have thought, "I hate him hate him ...hate him...," like that.
Keep writing! -Ananya
Author's Response: That's exactly what I was trying to get across and I'm glad some readers were able to pick that up! Thanks for your review!
the way you wrote this entry made it really powerfull. good job!
Author's Response: Thank you for the positive review!
Hi Sarah! I like it, and the amazing use of the word hate. im talkiun 2 u now lol!
Author's Response: Hey Sam!! See, it's not impossible to get one on here! Good luck with getting the one on that you are trying to do now and if any mods are reading this, Sam is a great author and should be published! Thanks for you review!
wow. That was amazazazing!! i loved it!
Author's Response: That's the first time anyone has ever said that something I did was amazazazing!! Thank you!
That was extremely powerful and well-written. Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you!
That was really intense! I loved it.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! This is great to see on my first fic to be posted!