*Gasp* I just sung this in my head, as I was reading it, and it was SO good. You've pulled off the "thy"s and "thou"s and "doth"s excellently. Heh heh, I love how romantic Gideon is being here. If only things hadn't gone so wrong ... Well, kudos to you for the whole thing, it's wonderful.
You mentioned something like "it broke my heart to rewrite the verse about myrrh". It made me smile, because that's my favourite verse as well - it's really dark and doom-y, but it always seems to be the one I sing with the most vigour ... lol, random am I, or what?
Anyway, just to say I have loved all the Prewett'd fics, they're all brilliant, but in different ways (although my favourite has to be Gucky and the Fork Tree, because it was the only one with Molly in it, and I really liked her as a young girl). I almost want to write my own fic about them, but I'm not going to, because it would completely steal your "thunder", and I could never do them justice. I'll just have to hope you're not finished with them yet.
Aww that really was well done! I love the serious tone of the parody, and I thought that the love aspect was very nicely written. I thought that you made a great job of the tricky rhythm pattern, and all of it was in time, so well done!
With me, you’ll never feel that ever,
You are unloved or in pain.
This is probably one of my favourite parts. It shows the ‘eternal’ side of love, and is just so romantic! *gushes*
I also felt that you did really well on writing the more archaic parts of language, like ‘thou art’… it was all very realistic.
For, thou art wonder, thou art bright,
Thy mind, thy form, thy soul of light,
Loved this bit as well. The repetition is really effective, and gives the song a real closing point. A lovely, serious parody! Good luck in the challenge. :)~Suzie
Author's Response:*Chibi face*
For some reason, my brain is just FULL of chibis today.
Anyway, that's hardly the point. Thank you - thank you so much! I really don't know what else I can say, except that I'm glad it all comes across that way. Becuase... well, it's meant to ^^ He's a pretty idealistic guy when it comes to love... which actually makes it all more sad, now that I think more of it (it all ends very tragically).Anyway. Again, thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to review!
THat was so sweet. I truly felt the love that came through the verses. Thanks for this wonderful poem/song!
Author's Response:*Big grin* Many thanks - I can't imagine anything I want more with this poem than that.
Cheers!
That was lovely! I'm sure it was very challenging to keep the rhyme pattern and you did that very well without seeming forced. The language was very natural - 'thee' and 'thou' - which isn't always easy! It was very beautiful - great job! Good luck in the challenge! ~Gina :)
Author's Response:Hey - hello! I haven't talked to you in a while!
... *talks*
Thank you! I'm so glad it came out naturally - I don't think I've ever tried to write with this usage of language before. So - yup. Thanks, and good luck to you too.Turnips for the Cup!
How incredibly sweet and innocent a song! I can absolutely imagine Gideon saying such words. I especially loved the lines:
Born was I, both simple and plain.
Not rich, nor smart, just normal, mundane
It's sad to think that he views himself as mundane.
Good job!
Author's Response:^^ At the moment I'm more in Morticia's headspace as I attempt to write a story with her actually in it, and she's one of a few people who would whack Gideon in the head for calling himself mundane...
On the flipside, too, I just came to realise this was her second story in which to appear to be a Sue.BUT back to the present, eh? Thankyouthankyou times a million!
That's beautiful... you're probably the first person ever to write a parody that's more serious than the original work. It's great that you have a wide writing range, if that makes sense-- you can write hysterically funny stories and also serious ones that can bring a tear to the readers' eyes.
I bet this poem was hard to write, since every third line needs a rhyme. I can just see a writer sitting there chewing a pen, going, "Without demur, you still remain... fur?"
Author's Response:Gah! You had so better believe it. I spent so long pondering over the different ways of arranging the words 'light' and 'bright' in the first two words of the chorus, because... well, it was a nice pattern I didn't want to change. But seriously. I'm, like, a shuffle monster now.
And you also really have a point about the seriousness of the parody. I hadn't even thought of that, but you're probably right. I'll just have to check my history-of-parodies books.
As usual, thank you so much for wandering once again into another one of my published... writings(?). I feel like such a terrible friend for not checking up on your stories. *Vows to do that soon*
