Hey love muffin :). It’s really so odd reading Gauntlet submissions as they’re so similar, but so entirely different. I’ve got a couple drafts of this prompt on my computer, written by someone else, and it’s just so… refreshing to see what’s really going on in the minds of others, and what they create.

I mean, it’s a pretty fabulous choice of Regulus Black. I think I know the width of your smile as you realised the prompt. I think what would have been a total cop-out for other people, knowing that R is already a DE, and therefore the ordeal isn’t entirely inconceivable, was tackled well by you as far as making it as interesting as you possibly could. There were certain things, like having to chose between the two paths that were a little odd, but they’re Gauntlet tasks, so that’s understandable enough.

On that note, you did include the prompts with ease. I mean, the one I just mentioned was a little far-fetched, but not entirely ridiculous as you’ve written it. Most people just go, ‘Oh, um, okay, sure-’ And Voldemort suddenly zips them away to the circus. So I am reallyhappy that you’ve achieved that. I was looking at the poem –

Silence comes and silence goes
Enemies grasp futily
When facing one’s foes

- & was thinking, did Mar write that, or is it a prompt? I know you’re capable of writing that, so I just sort of went, ‘You loony, you KNOW it’s a gauntlet so you’re trying to pick out the prompts!’ and buried my paranoia. But the fact I had to really think about what sections were prompts was good. Out of interest, how many prompts in this chapter?

Nitpick: It was inevitable for him tojoin the ranks of the Dark Lord, but perhaps he could’ve forstalled it. To join, & forestalled. Perhaps it’s American spelling?

I liked the dialogue, it was very befitting of Voldemort. Regulus is always such a soft spot, because we really don’t know what he’s really like. You know I like your Regulus, and mine’s really not as developed as your’s is, so it… not easy to conform to the personality, but you do make it less-hard than people who’ve just… written him as a mopey Sirius. It’s hard to explain, I guess. It’s like in RL, when people have different opinions of people.

With the girl, there’s something annoying me. I don’t know whether it’s the fact I don’t know her name, or just that fact that she’s… in there, occupying his thoughts. I mean, he’s got some pretty serious things going on. I just wonder at her importance in the story, is all.

I actually had to scroll down and see which one of your stories I havent’t read yet. So huzzuh for you writing so much. My SPEW reviews would be a lot less fun without a little Mar every month. ♥

Whee, SPEW buddy! As I was scrolling through your author’s page, trying to pick which story to review, I just had to click on this one. Because. The Regulus love, obviously. But also, this fic has no reviews, which makes me sad. Also, it says in you’re A/N that there’s another part to this. Which I want. =) But anyway.

I love how you start this. It’s very chilling, which is perfect. He didn’t know if the feeling that gripped his chest was fear. I love that. The whole idea that he doesn’t feel anything anymore is great; I think it really matches with his character. And the bit with the mystery girl – heart. I’m glad you didn’t tell us who it is. I like the mysteriousness of Regulus’s relationship with her, but also that he feels like she’s his weakness. It’s sad, but in a I-love-this-story sort of way.

It was a snake, acid green and hissing. … It was a summons. For some reason, this line really stuck out at me as I was reading. I’m not sure why. I think it’s great because it’s simplistic, but it’s not simple, if that makes sense. It’s haunting. And I love how the first thing Voldemort does is penetrate Regulus’s mind. That’s so…what he would do. I also quite like that Voldemort asks about Sirius, but that’s probably just the fangirl in me bouncing around… :-)

He could easily find out the truth of any boastful claim I could make, and it seems quite certain that an unsatisfactory answer will result in a grievous punishment, so you must choose your answer carefully, Regulus. Something about this bit doesn’t read right to me. In the first sentence, I would take out the second ‘could.’ It seems a tad superfluous. I think what bothers me is the shift to second person at the end. It might work better to end at ‘grievous punishment’ and then have a separate sentence that says, ‘Choose your answer carefully, Regulus.’ But Regulus’s answer is perfect.

The characterization in this is something I must comment on. I was about to say that you had Regulus’s character down wonderfully, but then I remembered. We don’t really know what Regulus is like, do we? Sure, we know some things about him, but he’s pretty nonexistent in the books so far. But of course, in my mind, Regulus is a strong character whom I’ve thought a lot about. And it’s obvious that you’ve thought him through as well. Everything he does and says in this is great. He’s confident but not overly arrogant, intelligent but not genius; he’s human. He’s sort of like a kid who just took the wrong path.

I adore the descriptions in this, especially when Regulus gets the Dark Mark. Since we don’t know exactly how that works, it’s open to interpretation. I think some authors go a little overboard with it, and then others hardly bother describing it. I like it here. You took the time to explain well enough that we could imagine it, but you didn’t dwell on it for paragraphs and paragraphs. I think it’s interesting that he gets thrown into the room afterwards. Isolation. -shivers- I love the mini flashback. I feel like we needed that tiny taste of Regulus with mystery!girl. But it’s also very sad. It’s like one of those situations where they didn’t want to break up, but they just…did. And it really helps explain why Regulus joined the other side in the first place.

The end! That’s why I want the second part. I have to know what the errand is, dur. I vote you update this, pronto. So yes, I loved this. -squishes-