0_0 *Jaw drops like a broken elevator* That's ridiculously good. Seriously, it sounds like something Shakespeare would have written (and you already know I'm a fan of his...)

I've always had a thing for werewolves, and I wrote a long series of Remus Lupin one-shots, and this poem has the exact dark imagery and description that any werewolf story should have... and then some!

Oh yeah, the contact form?
A) If I were to peel a potato, would I sing "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" or "Take this Life' as I peel it? You would sing "Boulevard of Broken Dreams," because it's catchier. "Take This Life" is reserved for when you're peeling onions and crying.
B) How many wildebeests am I holding up? 42. Answer to any question.
C) Complete this sentence: "Hello, my name is Voldemort and my favorite Pokemon is [Insert name here]". Jigglypuff...
D) What do you think would happen if Gandalf and Dumbledore met while under the influence of alcohol? (Nothing sick please, people) They would trade Dobby for Gollum and vice versa and completely screw up both LOTR and HP canon.
E) If London was a giant cucumber, then what would Dhaka be? (This is the most important question of them all). Tzatziki sauce.
F) Have you ever dreamt about cottage cheese with onions- and a side-order of tuna casserole? No, but I dreamed three nights ago that I was dancing with Neville at a party that I went to as a secret agent in order to retrieve the sixth Artemis Fowl book.
G) Are still here? No, I'm having an out-of-body experience.
H) *Sings* "...I'm a kid you say! When you tell me I'm a kid and I say, 'say it again'; and I say, 'Thanks: Thank you very muuuuch!' "- Which movie was that song in? Homicidal Fun With Barney
I) "Dolores Umbridge is so blazin' hot"- According to this link: she's smokin'. http://www.mugglenet.com/gallery/albums/movies/ootp/set-pics/randomfilming-hbo/normal_OOTP_50.jpg According to me, *VOMITS* yuck.

Author's Response: Thanks a bunch! This is great encouragement! But you must remember... I was INSPIRED by two fantastic songs: Cradle of Filth's 'Her Ghost in the Fog' and Opeth's 'The Baying of the Hounds'. Check out the lyrics. THEY. WILL. BLOW. YOUR. MIND. Now then... *Whips out a clipboard and a Cello Finegrip (advertsement)* I must now mark ze anzwerz, sildren! BWAHOOHOOHAHAHOOHOOHAHA! A) I would sing neither. 'Boulevard' is in my opinion is seriously overrated dung, and I don't know the Lyirics of 'Take This Life'. Instead I would sing 'The Bass Guitar of Broken Dreams': "I play a lonely bass(BOOMBOOM)/ the only bass that I have ever played(BOOMBOOM)/ and across its empty frets(BOOMBOOM)/ there are no strings but there are broken dreams!(BOOMBOOM)" B) *Groans under the weight of the wildebeests* I'll mark this one later! C) No, wrongo. It shall be: Chansey! D) PRETTY GOOD! 1.5/2! *I am evil. deal with it!* E) No idea what Tzatziki sauce is- I was thinking more along the lines of an overripe banana. VERY overripe. F) I once dreamt that my house was being torn down by the city corporation- and everybody was too busy watching cricket on the TV to give a damn. G) *Gasps* Another with the all-seeing eye! Hail! H) Uhh... actually its 'Spongebob Squarepants: The movie'. But valiant effort all the same! I) ... Thank you for the nightmares. And I was a bit surprised (and pleased)about what your father thought about this form. Its nice to see adults with a laugh box.

Author's Response:

THIS IS NOT A REVIEW. I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A REVIEW. THIS IS A TEST OF A ALLEGEDLY FAULTY MECHANISM.

Author's Response: MY COUSIN TOLD ME THAT THERE WAS NO BOX WERE YOU WRITE THE REVIEWS IN THIS POEM... I HAD TO CHECK IT OUT.

Author's Response: ITS ALRIGHT, PEOPLE! THIS THING WORKS JUST FINE!

Author's Response: ... like you didn't know that already.