This is so intriguing. I love the way that you worded this...the dramatic sentences are great and add so much to your already intense story. You are GREAT. I loved it, I loved it, I loved it. This definitely deserves a Quicksilver Quills award.
Wow — this is so utterly flawless that I am completely speechless. Even so, I'll try to put together enough words to make this a coherent review.
I. Loved. It.
Now that that's said, here's specifically what I loved.
This is the way the world will end:
The first sentence is so straight-forward that it's perfect. It matches the simplistic tone of the fic, and I think it really fits, even if it is a wonderful slap in the face.
I love the theory of this — that every day is the end of the world because of… it's flaws or the evil or so many other reasons. The incurable pessimistic in me found this a joy to read — as strange as that sounds.
Your word choice makes this fic one of the best examples of imagery I've ever seen.
They will work. Toil. Labor and otherwise expend themselves. A small handful will find triumph; most will find only frustration.
But then, this is the way of the world.
It's just — I can see everything, and that is so wonderful. It makes this more terrible that every single thing in this is true. The world does work this way, and it's such a bold observation in a way.
I love the stylistic choice of having the descriptive paragraph followed by the single sentence. After I finished, I sort of noticed that you could just read the single-sentence paragraphs and it's a mini-story or something. Okay, that was random. Moving on… I feel like each of the sentences is sort of like a slap in the face — er, in a good way — and actually builds this to a climax. I felt my heart racing in the end, even though no action really took place. That's the ability of a great story-teller, and the feat is enviable.
I also read the non-HP version, and I liked that ending better:
The world ended today. Yesterday. Last year. It ended because not a soul on this earth did anything to stop it. And, until one soul does, the world will continue to end each day with the setting of the sun.
I can understand why you made this ending with Harry — and I think that's also a great ending and gives more hope than the non-HP one — but I think this ending fits more.
On that note, I'm very glad you added the Harry reference because, if you didn't, I would never have stumbled upon this amazing story. Thank you.
I've read other things by you, and you really are a one-of-a-kind author. This was fantastic. (We just did Nihilism in psychology, and as I was reading I just kept thinking, "NIHILISM!") This was extremely well done, and I appreciate it as a story, not as a HP fanfic.
Man, I tried to post this once, but I think Firefox ate it.
Anyway. Wow, man. I love, love, love your style and the way it supports and compliments the theme. I love how the sentences are broken up, continuously driving home that cold realism.
As for content, it's unfortunate that you see the world like this, but I'd be lying if sometimes I didn't feel the same.
It's this kind of calbre writing that keeps me searching through the thousands of pages of fan-fiction. I'm so glad I happened upon this. Please keep writing.
Aw, nuts. the Firefox isn't supposed to do that. Bad firefox, bad!
It's not--I don't always see the world that way. Consider it a pessimist outsider's view. Sometimes the world is perfectly wonderful and wonderful people do positively amazing things. I won't say that I seem them every day, but when you go to the kind of camp that I do, you can't help but feel inspired
Thank you. I plan on it
Lovely. Really, really lovely. I’ll admit, I was a bit surprised to find this on MNFF, even with the Muggle and Harry references, but I’m really glad I did. You describe human life from the perspective of an outsider so well, with just the right amount of condescension, amusement, and pity but I can still see a bit of respect for we lowly humans in it.
I must say that I like the original version even better, perhaps because it fits together in a more logical fashion, and I like the ending better, cynic that I am. And also because it shows, instead of hope, the utter monotony and pointlessness of it all, because the end has already occurred and will occur forever, over and over again, but still does allow for that spark of hope that keeps us all from committing suicide.
Your work is true philosophy.
P.S. And may I say that I truly admire and adore your Wolfstar writings? It makes me warm, fuzzy, angsty, and sad all at the same time. Just as I like it.
Author's Response: Thank you so much-I don't know quite what else to say.
Beautiful. Powerful. Masterful. Those words echoed in my mind as I read this piece.
Few writers and even fewer written works truly impress me to such few words. The schoolteacher that occupies my day creates a critic that is tough to please, but you have done it and that is an accomplishment. There is a balance between good and evil, happy and sad, which comes across in your writing. Truly fantastic. I'm really at a loss for words, other than this will be a piece I will highly recommend reading to anyone, HP fan or not!
Thank you for a great piece!
I'm truly touched. Thank you so much.
If you do, in fact, want to rec it to non-HPers, the original version can be found here: http://circe-groat.livejournal.com/782.html
Wow. I have never read anything like this. I certainly have never read about the end of the world. Before I actually read this, by the title I thought it would be some big battle or something, but the way you describe the world so perfectly and show the monotonous ways of some people's lives and how the world ends on a day just like any other is very interesting. I love the format, with a paragraph and then a sentence that introduces the next one. This story looks at the world in such a pessimistic way, and since I try not to, it was really interesting to read that observation. This is an incredibly original story and I love it. The only thing is, I was wondering how this relates to HP, and then I read the last paragraph. I feel like that's Voldy. The mood of this story being what it is, I feel like he won the Final Battle and he's choosing for the world to end.
Wow. I have to say that I'm getting completely blown away by the reviews to this. I feel like I can't do them justice. But I shall try
The format. Honestly? I'm a huge Neil Gaimen fan and I actually went to the NY stop of his current tour where he read a poem entitled 'The Day the Saucers Came' and, honestly, when I read my own story now, I hear it in his voice. Demented, yes, I know. But if you would have heard him, you'd understand...
It all depends on how you look at it...
That was amazing. It made me laugh, it made me sigh. The words were so powerful, and how you used them complemented that.
It was very detached. Is that the right word? I think it is.
You just blew my mind.
Thank you. Detached would be a good word. It's kind of an outside view on what's being told, so detached is actually pretty close to the perfect word.
*puts your mind back together again*
Wow. That's amazing. I love the style it was written in. Very pessimistic view, but good all the same. I love depressing stories.
Author's Response: Thanks! Depressing stories are....not nice, but...important every once in a while, aren't they?
That was fascinating! I love the form you used, separating each paragraph with one simple yet powerful line of text. I also liked how you wrote this in future tense, that was incredibly well done.
Your descrition of the minutiae of life was fantastic. Did you want it to feel dreary and oppressive? It did, and yet at the end I still felt the tiniest glimmer of hope. That was my favorite part: I loved how it ended. Yes, you referred to the Muggles at the beginning, but the final reference to Harry at the end (well, I assume its Harry!) not only tied it even more closely to the Potterverse, but to the beginning as well, in a sort of circle, with a light at the end.
You have such a unique style - great job!
The Order of Ravenclaw House Elves
Author's Response: I suppose I won't go into a long spiel here since I did that on the Beta Forums, but yes, it is supposed to be Harry. But what in the world is the Order of Ravenclaw House Elves? Are you guys the cleaning crew for the wedding?
nice...i liked how you wrote about normal lives for the entire thing and then the last paragraph about magic, nice effect. really makes you think. great writing!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and enjoying!
Wow that was really good. I love the ending and how everything is vague but detailed at the same tim (if you know what I mean).
Author's Response: Thanks. I was hoping that I wouldn't have people scratching their heads wondering what this story was doing on MNFF. It's amazing what the word 'Muggle' will do for you, no? Thanks for reading!
wow. that was really powerful. great job
Author's Response: Thanks so much for saying so!
Amazing . . .
Amazing . . .
Author's Response: Thank you....
Wow...all I can say is that I'm speechless. The words were perfect; it offered such a simple outlook on such a big thought, and yet it wasn't so simple. I really love how you captured both the positive and the negative sides of The World...it really made me think. It blows the "10/10" score out of the water. Phenomenal.
That's one of the best reviews that I think an author can ask for; especially if you then go on and actually talk. :P
It was--the story was a bit difficult to write; finding the compare and contrast for each situation, but I was not out to show the world as purely Good or purely Evil and I'm happy that you've seen the effort in finding the balance.