*speechless for several moments*
Wow. I'm blown. Again. It's getting quite a habit whenever I read a story of you.
That's a very thorough character study you've written there. And the last two sentences were the deepest I've ever read:
Lucius stood there, his grey eyes glued on the body of his friend, and as he Disapparated away, he felt the last bit of his innocence, of his conscience, die in silence.
He was now, truly, a Death Eater.
I'm really surprised of how you portrayed Lucius. It shows that he once was a youth with conscience also. And it shows that he's human, and not pure evil. I really like how you described the process of him becoming a Death Eater and the first missions he had to fulfill for the Dark Lord. And I like that you've shown that he had fears also. All of those making him human. And my favourite scene of the entire story (both chapters combined) is where he stands in front of the Dark Lord for the first time and his memories are watched through Legilimency. Very strong paragraph.
I've noticed two things I'd like to point out:
First, in this sentence
But recently, especially this past year, had already grown out of control, what with that group of first-year Gryffindors who believed they were greater than seventh-years (of any House).
it appears that there's something missing. I cannot put my finger onto the spot, but even after having read the corresponding paragraph several times, I still have the feeling that you miss a noun.
And second, in the following sentence, you misspelled "and":
Once he is dead, leave nd cast the Dark Mark over the home.
Other than that I didn't notice a single mistake, in both chapters. I'm really amazed at your writing skills, Megan. Bravo and keep the plot bunnies coming. Thanks for another interesting reading.
Megan, once again I have to say how much I love your riddle-poems. You rhyme, you make sense and at the same time not really which defines a good riddle for me because you incorporate something mystic that makes it special. Also, the last line was my favourite:
Show your talents, the Dark Lord dares.
What impresses me even more than your poems is your ability to write and bound the reader up to the very last word. One can hardly stop reading once doing so. Gripping, interesting, and this chapter oh so fantastic.
You did a wonderful job with Lucius. He was an ideal character to write through these prompts, and you did a very good job at keeping him in character. Good luck with the challenge!
Author's Response: Thank you, Cheshlin, for the review. I'm glad you thought I did a good job with keeping him in character, and after writing Lucius (one of my favourite characters) through all three Gauntlets, I was thrilled when I saw the idea of this one, as it was basically canon ;) Again, thanks for the review. ~Megan
*Applauds* fantastic job with characterization and description! I've always been a huge Lucius fan (may have been *cough* slightly influenced by Jason Isaacs's excellent portrayal and the brilliant Malfoy fanart at http://acciobrain.ligermagic.com), and I'm so glad that someone wrote the gauntlet about him! I actually thought about writing about him, and now I'm glad I didn't. Yours was far better than mine could have been!
Author's Response: Thanks a lot, Schmerg_The_Impaler! I'm glad you liked the story, and I totally agree with you on the Lucius-fan thing. I've loved him as a character since I read CoS, and yeah, Jason Isaac's portrayal definitely helps in that ;) I've written all three gauntlets about him, and I can definitely say that I was thrilled of the gauntlet's theme this time. Writing him through this one was far easier than the others, mostly due to the fact that I was basically getting to write a canon-like response, rather than trying to make someone like Harry become a Death Eater. Again, thanks for taking the time to read, and thanks for leaving a review. I appreciate it. ~Megan