I think you should expand this into a longer fic. It would work better I think as a longer fic than a one-shot. It's a good one-shot, but it doesn;t feel like a self-contained story.

Author's Response: I've been thinking- maybe I will expand it. It does seem rushed, doesn't it? It was written for a Gauntlet, and I think my theory was to get it done ASAP so I had enough time for all the prompts. Thanks for the review and the idea!

I think that you did a great job. I love your personification of Lily. I'm not entirely sure about the way Voldemort was talking, but that is the only thing I'm not totally sure of. I loved they way she put herself back into the DADA classes to get past the dark creatures. That was pretty cool. Good luck with the challenge! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review, Cheslin! About the characterization- I've always thought that I had a pretty good grasp on Lily’s character. I've always been able to write her fairly easily, so I'm glad you liked her too. Voldemort- to be honest, this was my first time really writing him, so I guess my characterization of him does need a little work. I'm glad you liked the rest of the story, though, and thanks for the luck!