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Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: the leaky cauldron (Signed) · Date: 12/14/07 16:48 · For: Fewat v. Won-Won
plz plz plz plz plz continue this story plz


Author's Response: Yes, of course. LOL I've been really busy lately so I haven't had time to write, but once everything whines down I'm sure more chapters will go up.


Name: the leaky cauldron (Signed) · Date: 12/07/07 1:44 · For: Fewat v. Won-Won
Plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz (pause for breath) plz update this story . :)

Author's Response: I'm working on it. -pats-


Name: Insecurity (Signed) · Date: 12/02/07 13:26 · For: Hot Chocolate Musings
It’s a very quirky idea – Hermione sent back to her toddler years and Draco being forced to babysit her. I commend you for thinking up a unique and very humorous scenario. I can understand why it burst over the restraints of a one-shot. I especially liked the argument that forced the potion explosion – very IC to have Draco and Hermione bickering, and then the bickering to escalate into a full-out duel. Hermione has a ridiculous temper at times, and so I can understand why Draco wished to retaliate. Calling him “nothing but a foul, loathsome cockroach” would certainly have rubbed him up the wrong way. I liked her exaggeration; it shows just how little she was willing to trust him.

Hermione is adorable after her transformation. I really loved the awkward speech when she asked “Who he?” and how she called Draco “Fewat!” (*giggles* I now have visions of Gato Loco leaning over kitty Ferret and saying this!) I could really imagine her as a young child, the way you describe her. Especially her nibbling her hair – something I used to do as a child when I was nervous. It was really cute and well characterised.

One thing I wasn’t too keen on, considering it was in the first chapter of a HUMOUR fic, was the lengthy backstory about Draco’s past. There was nothing particularly wrong with it, but with humour stories you don’t want to dwell on the dark parts. You could have summed it up in fewer sentences or, even more daringly, used satire or dark humour to explain it in a slightly wittier manner. It makes the argument that follow seem slightly more serious, not just angsty teenagers bickering over an unwanted task.

Being the grammar tyrant that I am, I feel I should point out a couple of blips. Firstly, this sentence: Malfoy turned around scandalized that he was being laughed at yet he managed to scowl at the same time. Now, Americans are renowned for using more commas, not less, yet there is a total absence of them in this sentence. In my British opinion, I would say you certainly need one between ‘around’ and ‘scandalised’, plus I would suggest for the sake of pacing one before ‘yet’ also. Plus in this sentence: Draco could only scowl in anger as the four eyed git and a naďve Hermione walked out of the makeshift potions lab in the second floor; a giddy Hermione waving goodbye enthusiastically the entire time to him. This is a very wordy sentence, and you use a semi-colon where it should be a comma. Also, on the second floor, not in. It’s probably just a case of proofreading, but two errors in one sentence means it gets copied and pasted into Word for comment in review – lol! Also, at one point you say ‘Tonk’s pink hair’ rather than ‘Tonks’ pink hair’ – watch out for those fiendish apostrophes after words beginning with s!

Oooh – and funny line that I liked: Draco had been busy inspecting his fingernails when he got nicked by the thick volume across the forehead. *giggles* I could just imagine this. It’s sort of slapstick comedy with a very camp Draco.

This is a very lovely story. I can see now why it has got such a wonderful response from reviewers!

*hugs*
Laur xx


Author's Response: Laura, I haven't replied to your wonderful review. Thanks for all your compliments in regards to IC Draco and Hermione [even as a four year old] Thanks for your concrit on the backstory of Draco and the dark humor/wittier bit. You're not the first to mention it, and I imagine you won't be the last. I have considered rewriting the first chapter but at this point, I rather just finish the story and move on w/some orig!fic. And OMG -hangs head in shame- you SPEWers always make me so nervous when reviewing my stories. Lol. Thanks so much for reading the first couple of chapters. -squishes- ~Ritta


Name: simplyevil123 (Signed) · Date: 12/01/07 12:28 · For: Fewat v. Won-Won
omg that lasted line i would love to see this in the moive i would see that for sure bloody brilliant

Author's Response: Lol.


Name: ellie_hplover (Signed) · Date: 12/01/07 8:04 · For: Nap Time Drama
Ahhh poor hermione without BOB

Author's Response: I know!


Name: ellie_hplover (Signed) · Date: 12/01/07 8:00 · For: Morning Tattletale
Who throws bloody books in the first place?!


that was the best line

Author's Response: I know! That's one of my favorite lines ever.


Name: ellie_hplover (Signed) · Date: 12/01/07 7:57 · For: Libraries, Mudbloods, and Ferrets
I love when little kids can't speak proper, they are always soooo cute!

Author's Response: Thanks. XD


Name: ellie_hplover (Signed) · Date: 12/01/07 7:53 · For: Hot Chocolate Musings
I can not wait to hear what Ron says! Also, a conversation between Hermione and Draco would be magnificant!

Author's Response: As in a deep conversation between them? o.0


Name: ellie_hplover (Signed) · Date: 12/01/07 7:48 · For: Exploding Cauldrons
Draco...watching Hermione...hahahahaha

Author's Response: It had to be done. Lol.


Name: the leaky cauldron (Signed) · Date: 11/28/07 23:53 · For: Fewat v. Won-Won
plz update this story im new to this site but i carnt stop thinking about this story plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz update soon

Author's Response: Hmm...Yeah I'm working on updating. XD


Name: StrangeBella (Signed) · Date: 11/28/07 23:48 · For: Exploding Cauldrons
I really like this story! It's very creative and funny! I really hope you finish it!

Author's Response: I will definitely finish it. Do not worry about that. XD


Name: IAmForeverLadyMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 11/23/07 23:06 · For: Fewat v. Won-Won
This is such a brilliant story! Please, please, please update again soon!

Author's Response: I shall. Thanks.


Name: gane (Signed) · Date: 11/21/07 1:44 · For: Fewat v. Won-Won
its sweet.... funny in the sense it makes u smile at the kid's antiques... but maybe u could work on the humour quotient.... but luv it anyways...
:)

Author's Response: Right on. Go me. I write cute!


Name: sammiesmoothies (Signed) · Date: 11/16/07 18:10 · For: Fewat v. Won-Won
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!!!! PWEASEEE!!!

Author's Response: I will. XD Thanks.


Name: Luna_and_Harry (Signed) · Date: 11/15/07 17:09 · For: Fewat v. Won-Won
awwww! so cute. she reminds me of my baby sis...she's seven.

Author's Response: Awww how cute! XD Thanks for your review.


Name: Welshgreengrl (Signed) · Date: 11/13/07 20:51 · For: Fewat v. Won-Won
I didnt think this chapter was boring at all!
It was very cute!! please update soon!!!
-leanne

Author's Response: Thanks. Sometimes as a writer you think it's boring but you're then rather surprised by the reviews. XD


Name: Nevilles Girl (Signed) · Date: 11/11/07 8:07 · For: Muggles Do It Better
That last line is pure genius! It seems very Draco-like to take Harry's words and spit them back in his face.

Smiles,
Luna

Author's Response: Thanks. I've been told a do a good Draco, so I'm hoping he's staying true to his character.

Author's Response: Thanks. I've been told a do a good Draco, so I'm hoping he's staying true to his character.


Name: Nevilles Girl (Signed) · Date: 11/11/07 8:05 · For: Dinner Mishaps
Heh heh. I think Harry is just the slightest bit out of character. It just seems like he would have said a few of those lines differently.

Smiles,
Luna

Author's Response: Yes, Harry is one of the characters in the fandom I tend to do OOC a lot mostly because he's either too mean or too much of a pansy so I can't get him right. But thanks for your review, and I'll keep working on keeping Harry IC. XD


Name: Nevilles Girl (Signed) · Date: 11/11/07 8:02 · For: Nap Time Drama
Aw! How cute! I can't wait to see what Draco's reaction is!

Smiles,
Luna

Author's Response: XD Thanks.


Name: starrs (Signed) · Date: 11/08/07 9:21 · For: Fewat v. Won-Won
i soo love this story. pleassseee update! (:

Author's Response: I will. Soon.


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