Very very good!!! Keep the chapters coming. I'm intersted how it all plays out...
Author's Response: Thanks! I'll get to that shortly.
Ooo. Ron and Draco were married? Lovely. Hermione and Neville - I'm not bashing your ships here, but you'll have to convince me of that one. Snape is, of course, perfect, so I won't talk about that. I'm beginning to really like Ginny. And this is a disjointed review.
Author's Response: Well, even disjointed reviews are appreciated. Neville always had a thing for Hermione; once Ron had so deeply offended her, she finally noticed. How's that?
Nice spell - the Sub Rosa one. I’m annoying my family by laughing aloud at some of the lines, and annoying myself by thinking “only one chapter left. There should be more chapters.” I shouldn’t worry about that until I get there.
You know it’s good when your readers dread getting to the end.
Author's Response: I'm glad you're finding this family-annoyingly funny! There are more chapters, but some are at the beta-reader and some are still in the pen. Aren't WIPs fun? Thanks for the review!
Oh, please do switch him for the Minister. That would be highly amusing. Very excellent description of Snape not-crying, by the way. Let’s see - Draco, and now Ginny - I hate both of them, but you’ve made me enjoy both. Who are you planning to redeem next?
Author's Response: Meh -- that's enough redemption for this week. I'm glad the description and the humor worked for you! Thanks!
I'm crying. I don't cry at stories. Evil you. Poor Snape. Excellent start.
Author's Response: Mmmmm. Mask reviews! And the best kind, too! Thanks for picking this up and letting me know.
Very, very well-written. I was surprised by the couple-pairings, but chacun ses goute, right? Then again, I'm a Ginny-Draco shipper...But anyway. Amazingly written, in a clear, concise style. I wish my writing looked like that...
Author's Response: Ah, rarepairs. I'm old enough to have had plenty of time to note how many of my friends ended up with their teenagerdom sweethearts, and so love rarepairs. Thanks for the sweet review!
No. Send Lucius to me. He will live in my basment and spin a giant wheel to power the house. But the the real torture will begin. TEN STRAIGHT HOURS OF GILLIGAN'S ISLAND!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Author's Response: You can have him as far as I'm concerned. Thanks for reading!
Azkaban showers. ewwww. At least Sev isn't a girl. Who would wan't to shower with Bella?
Author's Response: Rodolphus and/or Rabastan? Thanks for reading!
Author's Response: Yeah.
Author's Response: Thanks!
Another great chapter in another fantastic fic! I was never really a big fan of Snape before, but a friend of mine mentioned your writing so I decided to check it out. After reading everything you've written in the last week or so, I have a whole new appreciation for the misunderstood potions master. Thanks for changing my mind!
Author's Response: Oooh! A new fan of Severus! Hooray! And -- wow, that's a lot of reading. Thanks for the review!
Perfect. Again. I honestly don't have any nitpicks, and stil think that presicely the same things are wonderful. This is just to say I'm still reading and loving the story, keep it up. Millicent Bulstrode as hysterical and Severus continues to amaze.
Author's Response: No nitpicks -- I'll pass that on to my lovely and talented beta-reader Slian Martreb. I had to put that little moment in for Millicent and the others; we don't see many Slytherin girls, but the ones we do see come across as rather formidable characters. Then I happened to wonder if witches were ever as restricted as other women are in certain parts of the world, and what a Slytherin woman would think of the Taliban for instance... You'll notice that they've done all sorts of preparation and not actually done anything yet, though. Perhaps they need a Gryffindor terrier to bound into the fray first. Thanks for the review!
Lovely, as always -- the dry, precise voice of Vindictus Viridian.
A nice tactic, to let Severus ask Ginny questions this time. It makes sense for him to want to do so, and it gives the rest of us a chance to see what's been happening in the last seven years. (Your allusion to the 'Blue Eyes' series here is sweet, too.)
Of course, letting Severus have a turn at asking questions also lets you prolong the suspense! What will he finally decide he can tell Ginny, and whatever will she think about it? Ah, tenterhooks.
Author's Response: I'm glad you're finding his basic intractability sufficient for suspense -- that worried me a little as I wrote these chapters. And the "Blue" reference is a special little present for those who have read all the other stories, though it probably bewilders those who haven't (and those canon shippers now imagining the Ron/Hermione spat that would have ensued.) Thanks for the nice review!
Ahhh ... another wonderful dose and so quickly after the last, too. :)
Nice touch that the other prisoners were accustomed to showers whereas Severus was not. Ginny comes off as very clever and quite up to fencing with Snape. One wonders whether she would have made a good Slytherin.
A suggestion, the part "sheer absurd insane gall" seems to need a comma ... then again, I'm comma challenged so I might be wrong.
Lovely work altogether.
Author's Response: In fact, I think it would be 'sheer, absurd, insane gall' in the normal course of things, but the vigour behind the statement made it commitudinally challenged. How's that for an explanation? I'm glad you're enjoying this!
Hi, VV. Glad to see an update!
Your pacing is really good so far. There is progress being made in the friendship between Ginny and Severus (which I’m assuming is one of the main purposes of this fic), but it’s not too rushed. Some less experienced writers would be inclined to have Ginny and Severus having heart-to-hearts within the first chapter. Well, maybe not *that* extreme, but something akin to it. They’re slowly warming up to each other and it’s very realistic.
Ginny and Severus are absolutely perfect, as always. I agree with Sly Severus about cringe-worthy performances by Ginny in fanfic. In this fic, she’s able to have that cheekiness without being utterly overwhelming. I’m enjoying the humor that she brings aside from Severus’ dry wit all the more because it has some subtlety. Also in regard to characterization, it’s really cool that some slight changes are already noticeable in Severus. He was utterly without hope from the first paragraph of the first chap, but already seems to be considering the future more, despite the last line. I like the idea of Ginny bringing him hope and being a friend like Lily was. Maybe Severus will have some healing even if the scars will always remain.
Your word choice and description continue to be superb. The prose is easy to read because you never seem to use too many words to say what you have to say, but the words are still varied. You always give a very clear image of what is happening, too. And I have to say I agree with Sandy about the tone, which is only possible because of the previous. Severus’ despair, wit, and growing hope are almost palpable through your description of his thoughts and actions.
I’m still intensely curious about how this story will progress. Obviously, you can’t tell me, but I can ponder. =) Severus will be telling Ginny about his Hogwarts years and Lily in particular. It seems to me that to achieve the peace mentioned in the title, Severus will have to come to terms with his life. Ginny will help with the pain that Lily left, and I think that it would be fitting if Harry and Severus were able to forgive each other to somewhat right the wrongs that James committed. I’ve been thinking, too, that eventually there might be a parallel between when Severus comforted Ginny in “The Right Questions” and later in this story. Ginny is finally asking [i]him[/i] “the right questions,” and now she might be the one to comfort him.
Sorry for the ridiculous length of this review, it’s just my two cents; hopefully it amused you, at the very least. =) I’m so, so glad that I finished ItEoO just in time to jump on the wagon with this wonderful fic.
"Gradually-louder babble" might sound better as "babble that grew gradually louder." I think it makes what's happening clearer to the reader.
"See to it these attitudes continue to improve,” Ginny said acidly, her glare quite the match for her mother’s, as she waited for Severus’ cell to be unlocked." I'm not so sure that Severus would liken her glare to her mother's. I don't think he really knows Molly well enough, even though he was in the Order with her. The second comma is a bit dodgy, too. I think you'd be better off without it. (says the girl with proliferate commas)
Also, the transition between Ginny asking who it was and Severus answering was slightly awkward to read. It would help to have a little interior dialogue, with Severus debating whether to and/or just deciding to tell her.
“There were plenty of moments which could sound more significant than they were, and some few that worked the other way. For his own reasons, for a small connection between them, he preferred not to lie.” Instead of “some few,” I believe “a few” would flow better. “Some” and “few” have very close meanings.
Author's Response: HUGE review! I'll just tackle a couple of things and go work on another chapter. Severus will have more inner dialogue later, but right now he's still rather on auto-pilot and not up to anything so difficult as thoughts. I'm working on an interaction with Molly for him even now -- but I'm pretty sure he's seen the Molly Weasley Arched Eyebrows Of Doom. They may have been aimed at Sirius, though. I'm not sure where "Some few" came from, but it stuck. I think it's a few more than 'a few.' If that makes any sense at all to anyone outside VVland.
I have so missed In The Eyes of Others, but this looks like something that will be equally fun to read. It's great to see that you're back to writing a chaptered Snape story.
And Ginny. I am always impressed when I read a story involving Ginny that doesn't make me cringe. So congrats!
Author's Response: *returns huggle* I like Ginny. I just don't get why she's so hooked on Harry. Thanks for reviewing!
Brilliant! I cannot wait to read more! It flows so nicely with your other stories too.
Author's Response: Thanks! More on the way...
In a word, flawless. Deft handling of characters and tone.
And now I'm impatient since I ignored my best-if-nibbled-and-not-gulped approach.
Author's Response: *giggle* I'll try to update more often than every fifteen days, then! Thanks!
My day is made, a new Snape-fic and one that promises to rival ItEoO in both length and insight.
I must remind myself to take it in slowly, savoring its unique flavor instead of gobbling up the words and becoming impatient for the next serving.
Author's Response: Well, length, anyway. *blush*
Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad to have you along for the ride!
*squee* A new long Snape-fic! I promise that I'll be more helpful and less fangirlish this time. ;)
As usual, almost everything is fantastic.
I love the humor, the characterizations, the description, the idea. I can't find any grammatical errors, so you're safe there. The only problem I have is this: Ginny and Severus both fit with canon, but somehow have a different flavor. If you know what I mean. They come off as having a bit more compassion and such than in canon. That's not to say I don't prefer this, but I felt I should say something. I can't see Ginny defending Severus in the canon universe because she's never shown the slightest interest in it before. Of course, she could be doing it just to spite Harry because she's seems to be that kind of girl, but I very much doubt that's the way you intend it to be.
Otherwise, though...the passage about blending in with the wall was brilliant, as so much of this is. The dialogue and your sense or language...*sigh* The lioness/gazelle metaphor was very funny, as was Ginny's comment about Gryffindors. I love the humor in your stories. :)
Ginny advent as a lawyer is very convincing, and I very much look forward to seeing how this story is handled plot-wise. It's very different, to say the least. And, of course, I eagerly await my next dose of your Severus. *adds to favorites and scurries off to reread all the one-shots*
Author's Response: I'm not sure how much of Severus' approach to Ginny is more compassionate than he is with other people, and how much is just that she isn't Harry and that's who we're used to seeing him with. At any rate, he'll be wondering about it, too, in a chapter or several. I hope you keep liking it -- thanks for the review!