MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: HermioneDancr (Signed) · Date: 01/06/07 2:29 · For: Sunday
Given my adoration of Snape in general and of how you write Snape in particular, I’m ashamed that I didn’t notice that you were writing this earlier. I read the first chapter somewhere else before vanishing into the vortex of holidays and research papers–– OWL, probably –– but there is more of it here, to my great pleasure. I realized by the middle of chapter 2 that this is a continuation of In the Eyes of Others, even if it takes up after a 14-year lapse. I cannot tell you how happy that realization made me –– I love all your stories, but ITEoO is really one of my all-time favorite fan fictions –– one of the very few that I have gone back and reread multiple times, and I was pleased beyond words to see that you were continuing that storyline.

All right, I ought to quelch the urge to fangirl and review this constructively. Part of me feels like this isn’t the best chapter to review because there’s no interaction between Severus and Ginny, which is utterly fascinating to read, but the rest of me hope that this may constrain me from falling into endless gushing. Besides, my reviewing philosophy has always been to review the most recent chapter, and I wouldn’t want to abandon that.

I love your descriptions. They’re fresh and interesting, and acerbic enough to suit the narrator well. They just strike me as fundamentally Severus. I especially love how you describe his trip to the showers the same way you describe his breakfast: watery and bland. One wouldn’t usually describe a shower as bland, but it makes perfect sense as an observation, especially in context. The repetition also helps build the mood and heightens the reader’s sense of the environment.

Instead, he had carefully driven her away, though Lupin had not been his choice of a replacement. I’m not sure what exactly it is, but the second half of this sentence doesn’t feel as smooth as it should be. Something about “choice of a replacement” feels awkward, though I can’t say for sure why. Maybe it would be better without the ‘a’? Or maybe there should be an adjective –– ‘ideal’ perhaps? –– modifying choice? I can’t say why it’s not as smooth as the rest, and it’s entirely possible that it’s just me, but it’s worth reading over, I suppose.

I really liked the religious mediations. The combination of wry humor and desperation that characterize Severus’s thoughts shone through really beautifully. His struggle with faith highlights his humanity. That’s what you do with Severus: You take a character that is bitter, harsh, and cynical and you make him fragile and vulnerable –– and you do it beautifully.

Author's Response: You know, that's the sentence I glared at, then decided NOT to replace with a treatise on Lupin. It seemed a bit much. Anyway -- I kinda think that bitter, harsh, cynical characters and people often are fragile underneath, and that's why they develop that nasty spikey shell in the first place. Even if I'm totally wrong about that, it seems to make for plotbunnies galore. Thanks for the lovely review!

Name: BlondieFangurl (Signed) · Date: 01/05/07 20:33 · For: Sunday
I cannot see Sev singing, let alone a hymn.

Author's Response: HBP, "Sectumsempra" chapter, the counterspell is "an incantation almost like a song." Otherwise I wouldn't have thought of it either. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Name: VeniaTaint (Signed) · Date: 01/05/07 19:02 · For: Sunday
*smiles widly* yay! another amgnificinet chapter. You've voiced many thoughts and notions I myself have often pondered, so congrats. As for bringing up the Tonks thing agian, though...*eye twitches* and I had just statrted sleeping well agian!!
~The Tainted One

Author's Response: *snicker* And you're only just now guessing that I'm evil? Thanks for reviewing!

Name: Valentinia (Signed) · Date: 01/05/07 17:43 · For: Sunday
Another chapter! And a really good one! I like how Severus' thoughts are very realistic and yet he's thinking about things that really can't be proven. Philosophy is always interesting, especially from Snape's POV! I really enjoyed this chapter, as it shows Severus' thoughts, mostly, and you've written interesting thoughts that stay IC for Severus!
One thing though... Tonks was the only woman he (almost) loved...? What about... Lily...? :D

Author's Response: It's the POV demon -- there's love and then there's love according to Severus. He's not too sure what word would apply to Lily, but that one is tainted by association with sex, and so it must have been something else because sex and Saint Lily do not go in the same sentence. See? ;) (Or something like that.) Thanks for reviewing, and enjoying the philosophy!

Name: Margalot (Signed) · Date: 01/05/07 16:49 · For: Sunday
I love the idea of Severus picking holes in the vicar's sermon. It's just such a Snapey thing to do.

Author's Response: Thanks! Isn't it just?

Name: MankyOldBoot (Anonymous) · Date: 01/05/07 11:13 · For: Sunday
Very nicely written - especially the last sentence!

Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: VeniaTaint (Signed) · Date: 12/31/06 10:31 · For: The First Day
WOWOWOW! I'm lovin it so far...well done, you really get inside nape's mind, and incorperating muggle law into the wizarding world, was done well and subtly...as for Ginny, she's great, I really love how you take us inside Azkaban and into the mind of one of HP's most intriuging characters...though you do seem to drag on a bit, don't get me wrong, cause it's all very well done, but we hardly have any information and were already 5 chapies in! you'll get to it though! *looking around eagrly for a new update to the fic*
~The Tainted One

Author's Response: Thanks! No, there really isn't much information yet, is there?

Name: Valentinia (Signed) · Date: 12/30/06 2:32 · For: The Fifth Day
Another great chapter! I hope Ginny manages to coax the whole story out of him eventually!
As with the previous chapters, this one features IC characters, excellent writing, and a delightful, if slow-paced (some might say suspenseful - I'm not saying it's a bad thing at all!... :D) plot! Wonderful! I can't wait for more, hopefully soon after the second!

Author's Response: I'm hoping for suspenseful; some might well say it's just plumb slow. Thanks for liking it, and saying so!

Name: Valentinia (Signed) · Date: 12/30/06 2:19 · For: The Fourth Day
As one of your past reviewers mentioned on a different fic, (Jinxes, I believe) you do indeed have your own little Potterverse inside canon. I'm so happy that's how the "Blue" series really ends!
Anyway... I still like Severus coming back to his own, progressing as a character (well, maybe just back to his old self) and progressing in his relationship with Ginny, too! Tomorrow it is. :D

Author's Response: *chuckle* I really do need to write some more Blues, don't I?

Severus is trying to get back to his old self, but he hasn't figured out just which old self he needs. Some of those selves are more willing to get on with Ginny than others. Happy reading, and thanks for reviewing!

Name: Valentinia (Signed) · Date: 12/30/06 2:10 · For: The Third Day
Arrg. He's making this such a long and tedious job for Ginny! Although, I suppose, to be fair, it does have to be painful for him to have to think about all these things again. And I'm sure Ginny understands that, too. Yup, they're both perfectly IC! So far, a great fic! Off to read the next chapter, now!

Author's Response: He'd as soon not think of many things in his past, and he sees no hurry at all here. This is a slow-moving fic (which worries me at times) but it absolutely had to be. Thanks for on-ing!

Name: Valentinia (Signed) · Date: 12/30/06 2:02 · For: The Second Day
Another great chapter! I think, I shall like this story!
Anyway, I like how Severus tries to think logically (even about such emotional topics as his own death), because he's afraid of letting his emotions get the better of him. That seems very IC.
Also, this entire plot is quite original so far! I don't think I've ever even seen "law-enforcement-Ginny" before. But I like her! And she's IC, too!

Author's Response: Ginny has such a lovely fierce streak, and a touch of deviousness as well, that she's really fun to put in this role. Severus, for his part, seems to have a tendency to get himself into trouble whenever his emotions get into the mix. If I go sticking two people into an utterly drab setting, these two seem to be a better choice than many! Thanks for reviewing!

Name: Valentinia (Signed) · Date: 12/30/06 1:52 · For: The First Day
It's great how Severus is IC, yet borderline insane. Poor guy! Azkaban is... harsh! So far this story is very good though, and I look forward to reading more and more! Your portayal of Ginny, too, of course, is great! Mental enough, indeed!

Author's Response: Thanks! In my head, Azkaban is a converted sanitarium, that cruel sort that is supposed to be utterly out of date now. Somehow icy whiteness seemed more inimical to wizards, especially Slytherins.

Name: Snapes_secret (Anonymous) · Date: 12/24/06 16:50 · For: The Fourth Day
This tale is progressing very nicely. I liked Severus taking the lead on questions. It's interesting to see exactly what he ask, and more importantly, what he doesn't. I imagine Ginny is keeping track as well.

S.C.R.A.P.S. ... I almost choked on my drink when I read the part regarding Hermione and where she would put "Society".

Of course, now I shall have to read Blue Eyes. I'm intrigued by your hints.

Merry Christmas!

Snape's Talon / Snapes_secret

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the S.C.R.A.P. moment. I always suspected that part of the reason Severus is so cruel to Hermione is that he simply CANNOT burst out laughing in front of his students. A nasty remark can forestall more than just tears. Happy New Year! It's taken me a while to get around to responding to this glorious wealth of reviews!

Name: BlondieFangurl (Signed) · Date: 12/21/06 12:35 · For: The Fifth Day
nice ending.

Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: Masked One (Signed) · Date: 12/20/06 14:01 · For: The Fifth Day
Why is Chapter 5 called Chapter 5 and not The Fifth Day? I’ve broken down completely, and simply love your Ginny. The monotony of Azkaban is coming through in your writing - there’s a certain calmness to the story. I’d say ‘Poor Severus’ but that would be repetitive. I just started having all sorts of hopeful thoughts for the ending.

Author's Response: Sheer absentmindedness and uploading in a hurry, of course. Thanks! I fixed that, so now anyone happening along can be confused by the question.

I'm glad you've decided Ginny's turning out okay. She's a bit of a cipher in the books, much like Severus and for many of the same reasons. Harry figures he knows all he needs to about both of them, silly boy.

Name: Margalot (Signed) · Date: 12/19/06 21:13 · For: The Fifth Day
Wow. Amazing.

Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: kati6110 (Signed) · Date: 12/19/06 14:31 · For: The Fifth Day
I love this story! thanks for updating.

Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: mugglemommy (Signed) · Date: 12/18/06 20:02 · For: The Fifth Day
I am so fascinated by your characterization of Snape. I love your story so much. I wait anxiously for each new chapter. I have become so fascinated with this character since reading your fiction.

Author's Response: Thanks! I love winning over new fans of Severus.

Name: GreenMan1966 (Signed) · Date: 12/18/06 19:07 · For: The Fifth Day
I'm enjoying your story, despite its bleakness, its lack of apparent hope or upside - it's simply too hard to ignore a character study of this quality. Severus is one of the most unique characters to come into the literary world in years - and I'm enjoying the interplay with Ginny, who is an excellent foil. Her gained maturity tempering her passion with patience and compassion, she's been interestingly quiet. I'm looking forward to some of these exchanges becoming more lively! But again, so far, so good - keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Thanks! I love writing Severus (News Flash! Who knew?) and completely agree with you. Ginny seems like people I've known. Stubborn, contrary, usually up to something, and yet a very loving person as well -- in other words, just the sort of person to see more in Severus than most people do. She helped this idea along a lot with "Bill doesn't like him either," instead of "Yeah, I hate him too."

Name: I lovesmesomeHarry (Signed) · Date: 12/18/06 17:05 · For: The Fifth Day

Author's Response: Thanks!

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