woo! your back! i luv it.
Author's Response: Yay! So are you!
Wow, a truly gruely pain for Severus, if only it were those memories that had been mauled and swept away by the dementors's poisened tounges...Alas. Well, you've yet to really bring out a solid Snape, one rather independant on reader's viewing of your previous stories (all jems, by the way!). You've also yet to place empasis on Ginny as more than a fantasy of Snape and a kind face in his solitude. Delve more into her personal, her emotions...you did quite well in the last chapter with her boggart. And keep drawing more on the goings on outside of Azkaban. Oh, and before I forget, I was rather dissappointed in this chapter, I think it could have been really great, the content was hearty and the emotions well translated, but you seemed to lack your usual suspense, intriuge, and passion...it seemed rather rushed, and not quite as eleoquent as your other work. I;ve no doubt it will transform into something spectatcular though! All of your stories have that innate quality :)
~The Tainted One
I've a favor to ask, I worte a one-shot/song-fic recently that seems rather up your ally, and it would mean tons if you would critique! AND UPDATE THIS FIC SOON! (make the next chapter REALLLY long...this one is probably the shortest chapter you've ever written...ever...)
Author's Response: Rushed? Hmm. And here I was afraid it was too slow. It's actually longer than Sunday, and considerably longer than a few of my one-shots, so what it means that it seemed the shortest has been puzzling me for days! And I'll try to have a look at your fic, though I'm terrible at actually reviewing things. I'd blame it on modding, but was terrible even when I wasn't a mod! Thanks!
The "She looked surprised" paragraph does not sound as much like you as you usually do.
Author's Response: I couldn't remember which paragraph that was, so went and looked. To my great disappointment it wasn't the paragraph done by committee. Glad to know you're still here!
Does it count as a review if all it says is, "heart"?
Author's Response: Sure! Thanks!
I really enjoyed this chapter! So much of what Severus says sounds cruel at first (like with the emotional pain) but when he explains it it makes sense why that's how he is.
Anyway, I love how this story moves forward slowly enough that we really get to get a view of the characters and understand what they've gone through and how they're changing!
I really, really am enjoying this fic! I can't wait for the next update!
Author's Response: So much of his cruelty can also be sheer defensiveness, if you stop and think over what we do know of him. It was interesting to finally find a place where he could explain himself aloud without being totally OOC; in fact, it's been interesting trying to get him to talk about himself when he has never shown the least sign of wanting to do such a thing. Good to hear that you're enjoying the results!
Delightfully wicked...I do enjoy your stories, so update soon! And keep delving further into Severus's past...and Ginny's, she's developing nicley as a character, but it would be interestin to see her life with Harry and the others as well as her thoughts on Snape. ANother suggestion, keep up the religious/philisophical thoughts within Snape, it not only creats more intriguie and scincerity in your character, but also allows you to interpret your own feelings and opinions, hence the great calling of writting and the arts: So that others may live, and that they may learn why.
~The Tianted One
Author's Response: There's so much I could put in here, but there's also a strong chance of too much detail. Conversations have a fundamental tendency to never be as rich as they could be; I'm trying to leave the gaps in purposeful places rather than out of carelessness, but nobody's perfect. Involving Ginny's time with Harry is tricky with the current POV, as Severus so emphatically doesn't want to know! But bits will sneak in from time to time. Harry is being treated by Severus much as Severus is treated by Harry in canon -- an annoyance to be avoided whenever possible and to be thought about as little as possible! Thanks for reviewing; I get all sorts of good thoughts and tips out of you.
Confusion - is she a Wizarding Lawyer, or a Muggle Lawyer, because she says she had to read Wizarding law as well as Muggle - shouldn't it be the other way around. Well, I probably missed something.
How very clever Of course the basic connection between them goes back to that diary. And really, more than she had to do to tell him. It's working up nicely....
Oh - I liked it.
Author's Response: Severus has missed something, since his usual nosiness is a bit quashed at present, but Ginny did Muggle law and then the short course in precedents the Ministry offers, since the wizarding world is simply too small to have a law school all its own. They've been rather winging it. Glad you liked it!
Ginny reminds me of a hawk ... she promptly pounces on even the tiniest interesting sliver. Her instincts are uncanny. And I like how Severus would rather inflict emotional pain. Easier to mend to a broken bone than to run from that which haunts you inside.
But, oh my, were are you leading us with "a prompting from somewhere in his ribs" and that quick, light squeeze when she covered his hand?
Will Ginny be to Severus what Lily could not? And will she also fall victim as those he has shown affection to? How many times will he hurt her before Severus realizes she's not leaving him there?
Will she find out about the Black sofa, I wonder. :) Or perhaps there's another sofa in the future. Hey, one can always hope!
Great job on this chapter!
Author's Response: Wow, look at all these question marks! I'm still trying to work out how to tell the tale of how Ginny found out about -- er -- the sofa ages ago. Not sure if that goes in here or into a one-shot or what. For the rest, well, let's see what kind of sentence she can get him first, eh what? Thanks!
Okay, I should probably say something about how well this chapter was written or Severus' cynically poking holes in the sermon ... but all my mind keeps remembering what happen on the Black sofa.
I think I need to further refer the sofa incident once the rugrats are in bed. While having a glass of wine.
And yes, the chapter was very well written.
Author's Response: *chuckle* Gee, what else did you read while on a VV bender? Enjoy the wine!
Finally Severus opens the door a crack and Ginny slips right in. I hadn't expected him to suggest Legilimency, however, it feels very right. I loved the exchange concerning when they should attempt it. "Tomorrow?" "Today. Now."
Instinct warring against logic, while Severus balances on a blade-thin edge. The tone is perfect, the tension is ... *loss for words* unbearable, achingly so.
And now I demand ... no, I beg ... please update soon!!
Author's Response: I'm glad you find the tension in this story -- it's very much an experiment for me, so helpful reviews are doubly appreciated. Thanks!
Carmen, Tosca, Aida and Susannah. How very interesting that the former Potions Master is so well versed.
I do like how Severus reacts internally upon learning Ginny will not be back the following day. The tighness in his throat is revealing.
As always, a fascinating read.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! Severus dragged me to the library to check out operas when I first started writing him, so now I'm better-versed too. He's been very educational.
It's been ages since I stopped by - how wonderful to see another multi-chapter fic. It will be hard to you to top "In the Eyes of Others" but so far it looks like you just might. I love the Ginny/Severus interaction - Severus, not Snape, not Professor, not Snivellus, not Mr. Snape. Just great!
Author's Response: Yay! I haven't seen you in ages! Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you're enjoying this. I think at various points all of those people, Snape or Professor or Snivellus or all at once, will probably turn up. The question is, will Ginny spot the differences?
*squee* I absolutely loved this chapter! The dynamic between Ginny and Snape is truly inspired. I’ve always thought that Ginny was very much like Lily, and it seems that Snape does too…are we seeing the beginning of a Snape/Ginny thing? :) Seriously…I wonder if Ginny will be able to convince Snape that he deserves to be exonerated (forgiven?) easily as she will be able to convince the ministry.
Author's Response: My, don't you have some interesting conjectures here? *has sudden coy moment of Rowling proportions* Thanks for reviewing!
I'm glad Ginny's finding out about Lily... that's sort of crucial to understanding Severus, isn't it. Anyway, I really liked this story! I like how Ginny understands how different he is and can be, as she says at the end, and how it's shown simply by the conflictiing and amiguous feelings Severus is having. Poor guy! But a good chapter, as usual!
Author's Response: Thanks! More is on the way, slowly but surely. I had to take some time to research what British criminal trials are supposed to look like and average that out against what Wizengamot trials seem to do, but now I know where this is going again.
And that's the person she's defending... Very powerful, that. Interesting that he's allowing her into his mind. Very interesting. Keep 'em coming, I can't wait to see Ginny beat the pants off the Wizengamot!
Author's Response: Good to see you back! I thought that was interesting, too, but he seemed quite determined about it. He always needs something to hide behind, so this time it's the idea that he's 'teaching.' That's far more comfortable for him than 'confessing everything Ginny is talented enough to root out.'
I love the the way Ginny will get to see what happened. Yay awkward moments!
Author's Response: Thanks! This will lend itself to several, don't you think?
WOW! Excelent! You most definitly depend on readers having to have read your other stories though...good job though. Beautifully written.
~The Tainted One
Author's Response: So I hear -- it's hard to clean the old fics out of the memory banks when I sit down to write a new one, even to the point where I can say, "You know, I should probably say more to explain..." Thanks for reviewing!
Very, very good.
Author's Response: Thanks!
Yes. DO finish editing chapter 7 ;-p I like. A lot!
Author's Response: And there it is! Thanks!
This was such a lovely transition sort of chapter; I liked how you marked his return to strength by telling of Severus beginning to have dreams again. It makes a lot of sense, but I wouldn’t have ever thought of that as a turning point on my own. Hopefully they foreshadow some(more) angst in later chapters. I love my angst!
I’m only just beginning to notice how tight your writing is. For example, this paragraph:
“Of course, the card game suggested a dealer, and Severus had thought himself in a circle. What sort of being created such a flawed cosmos? It was easier to believe in an inevitable cascade of physical events, happening to lead to one antlike Severus Snape pacing in Azkaban, than in a God that would deliberately create a person such as he. A god as cruel as that did not deserve his belief.”
All of the paragraphs are very well formed, in that they elaborate on a single point before breaking for the next paragraph. I usually don’t have a good sense of how to organize my writing, so I admire this; well done.
Even though this is chapter is mainly made up interior dialogue, as in the paragraph above, I still appreciated your imagery. The “icy white monotony” of the cell made a vivid impression, and the descriptions of the church were equally good. “Severus looked up, attempting to assume a posture of prayerful respect, and blinked at the strong glare from a skylight. It was the first natural light he’d see in years, and despite a greyness that suggested heavy clouds, it was painfully bright.” I saw him in my mind’s eye, squinting into the light, almost as if it were a frame in a movie. I think that’s a good thing. ;)
I do truly love his philosophizing, however. He’s so cynical but is still willing to give consideration to spiritual matters, which says a lot about him. The Slytherin part of him can’t help coming out, but it’s subdued by his insatiable, rather Ravenclaw-ish need for stimulating thought. I’m quite interested in seeing whether this newfound preoccupation with religion will stick around or eventually become unnecessary.
“‘I?’ Severus heaped scorn into that syllable.”
I couldn’t resist--this just embodies him for me. Wonderful line.
Until next time, VV. I look forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: "I’m only just beginning to notice how tight your writing is." That's probably a good thing -- it hid well behind the storyline! Still, that's a good thing to be noticing, and useful. I've written SO many academic papers that organized paragraphs are sort of automatic and disorganized ones really grate on my nerves. And yes, several of those papers had something to do with philosophy. Thanks for the review!