MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: modiste1000 (Signed) · Date: 03/26/07 12:55 · For: Interlude
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you for a new chapter! This is such good writing - and all your facts are accurate, down to the incongruous vicar. Also, you are telling the story on a small level: small details that make the story live. Most fic writers (I find) forget to do that, focusing instead either on summarizing canon (boring) or plot twists and turns (boring if the characters aren't brought out). You have not ever succumbed to any of that. You have the lightest and most loving hand with this world/characters/set of events that I have ever encountered, and I only wish - well, two things: one, that you'd write more faster, and two, that you'd write your very own copyrighted publishable stuff. I would snap it up and buy copies for all my friends. You are a wizard with text!!!!!

Author's Response: Aw, shucks. And -- working on it! Thanks!

Name: gerberb (Signed) · Date: 03/24/07 2:31 · For: Friday
Any word on the next chapter? I really enjoy the story. I just hate waiting for the next one.

Author's Response: Thanks! Sorry they've been so slow -- computer and RL conspired against me.

Name: Valentinia (Signed) · Date: 03/17/07 20:12 · For: Friday
Another great chapter! :D I'm glad Severus is letting himself trust Ginny like this, and I'm glad she's there for him! :) This is really a great fic, showing sides to Severus that we don't see in canon, but that could realistically be there. I can't wait for the next update!

Author's Response: Yay! Thanks! Soon, I hope.

Name: shimotsuki (Signed) · Date: 03/16/07 12:29 · For: Friday
Wow. Severus thinking that Ginny can understand him better than Lily could have -- that hits like a sledgehammer, given his history with Lily.

Still enjoying this very much. I have to admit I do wonder how followable it would be for a reader who hadn't read ItEoO, but since I have... this is compelling.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it, and that it has an impact.

Name: I lovesmesomeHarry (Signed) · Date: 03/13/07 0:30 · For: Friday
I love this story! Can't say it enough! I hadn't thought it was possible that he didn't know what he had vowed up until he got to the tower. you've given me something else to think about!
- Michela

Author's Response: For some reason, I'm just really sure he didn't. Thanks for reviewing!

Name: Wicked Wench (Signed) · Date: 03/12/07 21:56 · For: Friday
This is just how I picture JK Rowling explaining these events...

Author's Response: Oooh, really? Cool. Thanks!

Name: BlondieFangurl (Signed) · Date: 03/12/07 20:52 · For: Friday
YAY!!! Now... to wait for another.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm working on it!

Name: I lovesmesomeHarry (Signed) · Date: 03/03/07 17:51 · For: Thursday
Love this! I wonder if Ginny has connected this to what Severus told her back in her first year?

Author's Response: Thanks! And yes, I think probably. I'm delighted that you did, too!

Name: Spottedcat (Signed) · Date: 03/02/07 23:16 · For: Thursday
Would you believe it, I was checking every day for an update to this story, so I was thrilled to see this chapter.

You're developing both Snape and Ginny so well. I find them both believable--and it's difficult to write believably with Snape if one is not very careful.

Now I shall wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks! Good to see you here (come to think of it, there are a lot of 'claws reviewing this fic. I feel very loved.) I hope you're as happy with the characterization in the later chapters, when there are more than two people around.

Name: GreyLady (Signed) · Date: 03/01/07 17:43 · For: Thursday
I’m baaack. *grins*

The interaction between Ginny and Severus is once again delightful. They both have the most unique sense of humor that makes their repartee so fun to read, and I love how Ginny channels her mother’s spirit. From what we know of her in canon this seems slightly far-fetched, but I can easily see how her fierce nature coupled with maturing and her upbringing would result in this. Severus’s incredulity concerning his “sweetness” was priceless, too.

I liked how you showed how Slytherin ambition could be put to excellent use, and noticed that Severus is being very, very rational these days. Could it be the Ravenclaw in him coming out? Sometimes his dialogue sounds a little unrealistic because it’s so coldly rational, like when he is explaining how “vengeance is fundamentally selfish,” but I can sort of sense that he’s going to have to feel something sooner or later, and that it’s going to be painful. We shall see, I suppose. I really like Ginny’s dialogue, though. It’s smart and snappy and down-to-earth in perfect measures.

I find this such an interesting format for story-telling—instead of a very linear plot, the backstory is woven in through these conversations and recollections. I wonder if it will make the climax all the more powerful when it comes, as there will undoubtedly be a great sense of satisfaction upon the convergence of learning the result of the trial and of how he came to kill Dumbledore. Not to mention the relationship growing between Ginny and Severus. (The sharing of the memory at the end was thrilling in a depressing sort of way. You have a talent for that. ;)

I always enjoy reading the explanations and research that you integrate into your fics because it makes it that much more convincing. The Veritaserum explanation was particularly good. However, I’m thinking that there’s a slight plot hole—how is Ginny going to defend Severus in court without the memories to actually show? Without hard evidence I find it hard to believe that she has a chance at acquitting him.

But…this chapter was wonderful. It always seems to me that I have less and less to critique the more I read your writing! Shame on you for making my reviews go all gushy. ;) Can’t wait for next update.

Author's Response: Less and less to critique -- oh, good. That's really a nice thing to hear! I love reading your reviews. You always pick up on the things I really worried about, and usually you like them. Thanks!

Name: Valentinia (Signed) · Date: 02/27/07 23:34 · For: Thursday
Ouchie. So she knows about that now too. This was a very touching chapter, and it really showed the relationship and how similar they are, and yet how different. I liked seeing Ginny answer some of her own questions, that seems like such a Ginny thing to do! :D And I love your characterization of Snape, as always! I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: She is a little pushy and full of momentum sometimes, isn't she? I've really enjoyed writing her. Thanks!

Name: ProfPosky (Signed) · Date: 02/26/07 15:43 · For: Thursday
The most amazing thing here, and you have built to is so carefully that one does not even notice the building, is that Snape does not even really need to Forgive Ginny, and yet forgiveness for merely knowing this is something he probably couldn't summon up for any but one or two people, if that.

Gasping breathless here.

Author's Response: Thank you! I wonder if the building would seem as gradual if the chapters were coming up faster, but so it goes. And you're right; that's a very big deal, that he can stand to have her know.

Name: HermioneDancr (Signed) · Date: 02/25/07 12:41 · For: Wednesday
Here I am, returning to review another chapter of this story... I’m afraid that your writing may be the undoing of my promise never to turn into a rabid fan girl. And I’d been managing so well for so long…

In attempting to keep from becoming too much of a fan girl (as I generally think it obnoxious, if I don’t know the author well), I am trying to be more determined than ever in my nit picking. Or maybe I’m just more determined to indulge myself in nit picking, so as to balance out the gushing that is sure to follow. You (and your beta) have left precious little to nit pick, but there were two tiny things…

A little food, a little kindness, and even he could scrounge up a fragment of good mood. It’s not a big thing (certainly arguable), and for all I know it could be a difference between British and American English, but I think “a fragment of a good mood” might be slightly preferable to “a fragment of good mood.”

“We request a date, they dawdle, we demand a date, they talk of two-year waits, we politely suggest that it would be acceptable if that’s the best they can do, and then it’s ‘How’s Tuesday week for you?’ And we’re off to the races.” The parallelism might be even stronger here if you put full stops after each pair –– e.g. “We request a date, they dawdle. We demand a date, they talk of two-year waits…” More a question of style than of anything else, but it would make the sentence slightly easier on the reader’s eyes.

This chapter is short, which is probably my biggest complaint, and yet there’s no where in particular where I would ask you to add more, nor would I ask you to extend it, as the ‘one chapter per day’ approach works so well. What I really like (okay, I’ll be honest: one of the things I really like) is how you are showing Severus become more and more the character we know from your previous stories. Looking back a few chapters, I can really see the difference, although compared only to the previous one the change isn’t nearly as noticeable. His sense of humor is returning. In this chapter I can see the boy Severus who proposed the creation of Pomfrey House –– yet he was almost unrecognizable in the Severus we saw at the beginning of the story. The smoothness and skill with which you have developed his character (or should that be redeveloped?) demonstrates nothing short of excellent writing.

I’ve said it before (probably multiple times), but I can’t get over how perfect your Severus is. He’s just the right blend or sarcasm and directness, crushing insults and gruff kindness. If I tried to find a line that demonstrates how exactly you do this and how wonderful it is, I’d probably end up quoting about a third of the story, and since this review doesn’t need an extra four hundred words plus added onto it, I’ll refrain, but… well, it’s incredible. It makes me grin insanely, yet also almost makes me want to cry. I don’t think I could explain it. But your characterization of Severus is… ‘just guh’ seems the most appropriate phrase.

I also really like (or, at the risk of sounding gushy, I adore) your characterization of Ginny. “Yes, Professor,” Ginny answered in a dutiful tone. He doubted she had ever used that tone sincerely, and she didn’t now. Ginny’s a hard character to write well, in part because our canon narrator is in love with her, but you’ve done a great job with her. I particularly love the paragraph quoted above, probably because I can see and hear it so clearly in my mind. It captures her spirit wonderfully.

I’m afraid that if I continue this review much longer I will be guilty of rambling as well as gushing, and so to avoid committing that double offense I will end here. Thank you for continuing to provide me with such wonderful reading material (and my apologies for subjecting you to my addiction to parenthetical remarks).

Author's Response: *blushes and scuffles foot*

I guess whether or not to use that 'a' depends on whether good mood comes in individual servings or a vast heap. Since Severus tends to get his good moods in slivers and crumbs, rather than full servings, I went for the mass-noun structure -- but you're quite right, it could be either. This may be a sign of thinking too much...

The full stops, on the other hand, are a perfectly good idea. I made it a runon to go with a sort of rolled-eyes tone, but either would work for that.

And thanks for the lovely thorough review! I always feel funny answering the long ones. Best done with a chapter, perhaps?

Name: zara600 (Signed) · Date: 02/25/07 12:40 · For: The First Day
Well, this is turning out to be a pretty good story. No surprise, considering some of your previous stories. Can hardly wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: werdna1985 (Signed) · Date: 02/16/07 0:01 · For: The Fourth Day
Well although I like how you protray Snape in all your stories I do disapprove on the relationship factors. Certain people should have ended up together.

Author's Response: "Certain people," eh? I tend to think that very few couples get it right on the first try -- or the second, or the third. Thanks for reviewing!

Name: soprano1 (Signed) · Date: 02/15/07 15:45 · For: Wednesday
Oooh. I really like this. There's definitely something to be said for stories only involving a small number of people. It's very intimate, because you can really delve into the relationship...really get at the small details. Well done. I can't wait for more :)

Author's Response: Thanks! I do tend to like two-person and three-person moments. Admittedly this is partly due to pronouns being easier that way. But two people together say things that a larger conversation will never contain, and here that was useful.

Name: Valentinia (Signed) · Date: 02/10/07 15:46 · For: Wednesday
Finally found out about the family, did she... Poor Severus! I'm gald he's getting a little... well, almost happier, though. I hope Ginny can get him out of Azkaban!! It's great how he really only gives tidbits of information at a time though... If Severus suddenly decided to tell Ginny his whole story, it would be kinda OOC... this was, it's great!

Author's Response: Tidbits, not all of them relevant, not all of them clear -- it suited him, somehow. And step by step he's feeling a little more himself, though he's not quite sure that's a good thing. Thanks!

Name: madjh (Signed) · Date: 02/08/07 15:09 · For: Tuesday
Wheee! Two Chapters since I last looked! I like the Boggart Discussion. I also like the spin you put on Ginny's Boggart. Sure - a lot of us might assume that she'd see the diary, but you make it more sinister, and well - adult, by adding the writing. :)

Author's Response: Whee! A madjh review! That diary just doesn't seem like something Ginny should bounce back from, or ever quite get over. Some people just have nastier boggarts than others. Thanks for reviewing!

Name: Little_Miss_Magic (Signed) · Date: 02/08/07 9:38 · For: Wednesday
This is my first ever review, so I'll make it a quick one. Loved it, Can't wait to read more !

~Miss Magic

Author's Response: Welcome to reviewing, then! And thanks!

Name: BlondieFangurl (Signed) · Date: 02/04/07 15:47 · For: Wednesday
*scream* I'd hate to be Ginny now.

Author's Response: That's one of the reasons Severus balks so much; it was bad enough for him, so why inflict it on someone else?

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