Reviewer: Pussycat123
Date: 02/15/07 16:42
Chapter: Chapter Five: Peace

Oh my cod. I know I said the others were tear jerkers, but I've actually just been sobbing - real, actual sobbing, and trust me, that takes a hell of a lot with something I know isn't real. In fact, the only time I can remember fiction actually making me cry is when I was reading Harry Potter five, when Sirius died. Oh my cod. I can't believe how much this made me cry! This was so amazing. So, so amazing. I hate reading anything dark, but this ... oh my cod. How did you do it? How did you write something so powerful? Impossible questions I'm sure. I just wanted you to know, although I'm not sure how well I've managed to word it, that this is so, so, amazing. It really is. I'm just babbling on, and it's not making any difference, I can't describe it.

Oh my cod.

I think I must be hormonal or something. Whatever my reasons for being so affected are, you're brilliance as a writer must be at the heart of it. Thank you so much. I had no idea something like this could make me react like this. Okay, I'm going to stop now. Gideon and Fabian were perfect in this chapter, and I mean that. Perfect.

Author's Response: Man, this story means so much to me I can't even bring myself to write much about it. rnI'm not sure if that's incredibly meaningful or just pathetic...rnAnyway. Thank you for these reviews. Thank you infinitely much. You're awesome.

Reviewer: Pussycat123
Date: 02/15/07 16:20
Chapter: Chapter Four: Lost

Wow. Powerful. Another tear jerker - I love Gideon and Tisha, they seem so right together (even if she wasn't real when he was talking to her). This was so amazing. Poor Gideon ... if only he could get his life on track again. But I suppose with being a Death Eater now, that might be hard ... Oooh, I'll just have to read the last chapter and find out, won't I?

Reviewer: Pussycat123
Date: 02/15/07 16:09
Chapter: Chapter Three: Madness and a Mission

Intriguing ... You know, part one nearly made me cry. This story is so well written, and at the same time so ... so dark, disturbing, but true, despite it (obviously) being fictional. Peculiar how much I wanted to find and hug poor Gideon during this chapter ... not that it would make much difference, I'm sure. I've said it before, and I'll say it again; you're a great writer. This proves that you can do dark fics well, and I know you can do humour fics well, and it's just generally great. Congratulations.

Reviewer: Pussycat123
Date: 02/15/07 15:48
Chapter: Chapter Two: A Man Can’t Fly

My word. He became a Death Eater? Okay, either I just said something incredibly naive, or this is one heck of a story ... although I will again admit that it's hard going. But you're writing is fantastic, and now I have to finish it ... Poor Gideon! Oh, for his Gucky days ...

Reviewer: Pussycat123
Date: 02/15/07 15:46
Chapter: Chapter One: Hopeless

Okay, I said I'd read more Prewett stuff, and I will. While I preferred reading fun, happy tales about aerosol cans and fork trees, this is still good, and I am determined to stick it out - no matter how dark it is. You're writing is really good - I could never write anything this dark, trust me. Right, now I'm off to Chapter Two ...

Reviewer: Sekhmet
Date: 11/18/06 23:03
Chapter: Chapter Two: A Man Can’t Fly

Another dark, yet fascinating chapter. You are quite skilled at weaving such a depressing tale. It is a marked difference from your humour fic, but I appreciate it greatly. It really captures and draws in the reader, and it feels so real. His pain and confusion and suffering is so tangible. I can't wait until I have time to finish the next chapters!

Excellent writing!

I would like to add, though, that while you have done a spectacular job articulating his pain from the loss of Morticia (and I know everyone grieves differently), another feeling that is very prevelant (at least it was for me), is a cold emptyness. A feeling like you will never be warm inside again. I'm not sure if you can use that, as I think you have finished your story, just thought I'd share it with you.

Author's Response:

This review is so lovely, it's difficult to reply to, in my current state of having no vocabulary, and barely having the ability to put two sentences together and have them make sense.

Never the less:
I'm utterly delighted that you're liking this story, despite it being so dramatically different from anything else I've ever posted here. Thank you so much for your comments.

And about the last one - I know exactly what you mean. I really do. I sort of tried to include that kind of feeling a little, but the reason why I didn't make it clearer, and intensify this feeling is that, in his way, Gideon is still really in a state of denial, for almost of all this story. It's hard to invent a character's unique grieving process, especially in this even more unique situation, but the way I've sort of put everything together, the penny hasn't really dropped. A loss like this/these deviates from both his idea of reality, and his idea of his own identity, if that makes sense. Also, this is in first person, and his thoughts really aren't coherent enough to describe a feeling like that. Basically, after all of this discussion, justification and explanation, the simple answer is that, for Gideon at least, that empty, icy nothingness which can well inside you after a loss would just happen later on in the grieving process.
*Reads that again* And I apologise for my rambling ways. You brought up a very valid point though, and I wanted to answer properly.

Reviewer: Sekhmet
Date: 11/18/06 22:34
Chapter: Chapter One: Hopeless

You are quite the talented one. You pull off humour so well that you've got me snorting out loud, and yet, you have written such a beatifully dark piece here. It is somber, it is sad, it is foreboding. It's also quite realistic.

You're descriptions and imagery are excellent. I never get bogged down in reading your writing, yet you paint the picture vividly enough for the scene to be... well, seen! The characterization is excellent also, he's full of life on the page even as he struggles with being empty in the story.

I feel giddy after reading Happy, I feel serious and thoughtful after reading this. I truly appreciate your versatility as a writer. I hope this is something you may like to continue with profesionally someday, as I think you could do it well.

This is dark, but this is beautiful. Kudos to you, my dear.

(p.s., can't wait for chapter 7 part 1!!)

Author's Response:

*Is blushing furiously*

Wow. Thank you so much, and I'm glad you got to come and read this story. This is so very different from Happy's story, but I'm really delighted to hear that you still like it.

(P.S. ;) Shouldn't be too long now before it's up *Excitement*)

Reviewer: Schmerg_The_Impaler
Date: 11/18/06 19:46
Chapter: Chapter Five: Peace

“The hallucinogenic jug lobster,” I told him simply.

Only you could make that sentence work.

This story ended with a bang. It was eerily similar to a giant fist on a spring popping out of my computer and punching me in the face. This chapter was the best writing I've seen from you yet-- complete raw, undistilled emotion. I can imagine you got really emotional when writing it. I definitely think, and I am saying this impartially, that this story will win the gauntlet.

I'm glad that Fabian lived long enough to see Gideon again, and vice versa. Although the ending was sad, it was somehow happy, because the brothers were together... I know, I sound like I'm speaking in complete nonsense, but this story is one of the most emotionally moving I've read.

By the way, thank you so much for mentioning my reviews in your Author's Note. I can't believe that you don't have more reviews-- maybe it's because people don't think minor characters like the Prewetts can possibly be interesting.

I did mine on Theodore Nott, which is about as minor as you can get, and I think it's more fun to write about a character who was barely mentioned in canon. You can create them completely, and develop more of a bond with them than, say, Harry, who you have to keep in character.

Sorry this is so long!



Author's Response:

... Oh! That's what you meant. The first time I read this, I thought it said the ending was 'eerily similar to a giant FISH on a spring' punching you in the face. And it was like, 'So, does this happen often?'

But wow, about the Gauntlet. I like to think I have a chance, but I'm sort of seeing through tinted glass. I had actually (somehow) completely missed your entry while looking around the Gauntlet section, and figured it wasn't up yet. *Will go and have a look*

More to the point though, you're not speaking complete nonsense - you're absolutely right. I'm actually really, really proud of this ending (snooty-nose. I'm allowed to be proud). I mean, I developed and fell in love with these guys - the least I could do was give them a decent death scene, right?

OC's rock. These guys are basically OC's, except for their names, and Morticia is 100% non-canon. If you invent a character, you make up their past, present and future, so they're really your own. At least, that's how I feel. Although, I do admit I really love the idea that the older Weasley children have memories of Gideon and Fabian. And Morticia, for that matter. I like to think they were influenced by them.

Anyway, I'll stop talking now. But the point is, thank you - these reviews are absolute treasures!

Reviewer: Schmerg_The_Impaler
Date: 11/18/06 19:37
Chapter: Chapter Four: Lost

Wow, an entire chapter in italics.

This is beautifully written and touching. I was shocked when I thought Charlie was dead and the twins were slipping in and out of conciousness, and although it was sad that Morticia wasn't real (she's a very good OC, by the way, very realistic and loveable), I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that the canons were okay.

You got the surreal, dreamlike point of view perfectly. When I think about dreams that made sense at the time, my head starts to spin and gets fuzzy and blurry. That's what this chapter did. It's, like, a drug. This story's an addictive substance.

Author's Response:

*Tries to pretend that chapter was actually meant to be completely in italics*
*Fails miserably*

Your reviews just get more and more difficult to reply to. I just want to give giant thank-yous, but it always seems to come out the same.

I was actually really lucky that the prompts fitted this mad idea of mine, and - and I'm sorry, I can't think of anything else to say but that I'm happy it worked, and thank you. Oh, and it's funny to hear Morticia described as loveable. I'm exploring her childhood at the moment. Her poor adoptive parents. *Shakes head*

Reviewer: Schmerg_The_Impaler
Date: 11/17/06 14:20
Chapter: Chapter Three: Madness and a Mission

Wow, this is getting better and better...
I really like your characterization of Gideon as a three-dimensional character with good and bad traits. I really like him, even if he is a crazy, half-dead idiot with really bad hair.” I like the way he has a sense of humour, even in the worst of situations, like when he said, "Locomotor Voldemort’s big pot thing." The part where he apologised to the banshee was interesting, too-- it shows his true character, and a kindness that doesn't really befit a Death Eater.

The dream at the beginning with Morticia was also a really poignant scene. I like her, and it's too bad that she died. It makes me sad to think that she and Gideon never got their purple wedding. :-(
The scene in front of the mirror somehow reminded me of George Orwell's "1984"...

Author's Response:

Thank you!

The 'Humour' prompt (which is, although it's probably bent beyond recognition, the part when Gideon's rambling about his parents) was probably the most difficult to write. So it's simply stupendous to hear that it worked out.

And it still surprises me that someone like me decided to write such a tragedy. Well, I think it's a tragedy, but that might have something to do with the fact that I know Morticia's parents.

1984... That's really random. Although I think I might sort of vaguely almost see where your mind's coming from...

But the point is - thanks. It's especially unbelievably fabulous to hear that Morticia comes across well, what with being a female OC and all.

Reviewer: Schmerg_The_Impaler
Date: 11/14/06 14:08
Chapter: Chapter Two: A Man Can’t Fly

*Is speechless* This is an incredibly powerful story. It really sucks the reader into it, and makes you feel Gideon's pain. Literally. After reading this chapter, I felt physically ill, but not in a bad way.

The smoke words were so annoying! I suppose that was your intention... if that's not a test of determination, I don't know what is.

Reading this chapter reminded me of something from "Gucky And The Fork Tree." It was the part of the story that said: He was rarely scared of anything — not because of bravery, but because he just didn’t care about all that many things, because he was stupid."

That almost seems like foreshadowing for this story-- the way that Gideon feels stupid and incompetent, and when you realise how very afraid he is, you see that a situation must be very intense to do that to him.

I like your portrayal of Voldemort. He's very evil and VERY unpredictable, that's for sure.



Author's Response:

I'll see your 'speechless' and raise you a 'literally'. ;)

I'm so glad this story is working out like I hoped it might - grief is an incredibly powerful emotion. And this review is so touching!

Yeah - the smoke 'riddle'... no matter how I tried to work it, a rhyme or logic puzzle felt so out of place. Plus, I needed to fit in a lot of characterisation in a small amount of time. And... well, I could just repeat what you said, but your point regarding the description from Gucky makes me happy ^^ I so hoped that link might come up!

AND yay! Voldemort works! I have so much trouble writing him as a character, and some of the challenges felt like they really bent what could be canon for him and what couldn't... Well, obviously they could, based on all the fantastic entries, but it's tough!

Finally, I realise this a terribly written response, but thank you - really. *Dances off*

Reviewer: Schmerg_The_Impaler
Date: 11/13/06 15:09
Chapter: Chapter One: Hopeless

Wait. Never mind. I can't click the 'next 'button, as chapter two has not been validated.

In any case, I just wanted to say that this story has given me an inferiority complex, as I've just submitted my own gauntlet piece.

Author's Response:

*Bites lip* This story's pretty long. Like, six chapters and I don't want to have to squash it all together. Hopefully the next chapter will be validated soon. I'm probably just being paranoid.

And don't have an inferiority complex! As a superior being, I order you! Not that I'm a superior being, or anything... O_O *Makes no sense*

Hopefully you do read the rest of this, because I'd really love your opinion of the last chapter, which I will not discuss any further. Again, thank you for your divine reviews!

Reviewer: Schmerg_The_Impaler
Date: 11/13/06 15:08
Chapter: Chapter One: Hopeless

Wow. I don't have the proper vocabulary to describe this story. It's dark and powerful, kind of like molasses, except molasses is also sweet and slow, and this is bitter and fast-paced, so that doesn't really work. Unless it's, like, evil molasses. There we go-- a banner for this story. "Wedding Tears, Funeral Tears: It's, Like, Evil Molasses."

In any case, reading this story made my brain vibrate. It definitely gives you something to think about, and it's a very different depiction of Gideon than that in "Gucky and the Fork Tree," that's for sure.

I must know, though, how did Morticia die? And why was her surname Cornfield-Prewett if they weren't really married?

Oddly, I was very impressed by the death letter. The part that read "Nancy ‘Nipper’ Nit-Tocker, Ward: Bites, Nibbles, Nips and Gnaws" seemed to me like a runaway bit of canon. That's a good thing, by the way.

*Is about to click the next button*



Author's Response:

*Lets out long breath* Phew. I wasn't sure whether I was just proud of this story because I'd fallen in love with the Prewetts.

It's dark and powerful, kind of like molasses, except molasses is also sweet and slow, and this is bitter and fast-paced, so that doesn't really work. Unless it's, like, evil molasses.
Aside from the fact that your whole review made me very happy, this sentence is hilarious, for some reason. But to keep to the point-

Yeah, it feels strange for this to be the second Prewett story posted after Gucky - it's like one of his lightest, most innocent moment, and then his darkest, least innocent moment, which is rather strange. He's definitely the same guy though. Just a fully grown man, suffering from two major losses.

Oh, and the death letter. Morticia was killed in a random Death Eater attack at Saint Mungo's - they do that kind of thing. If there weren't so many losses, Smethwyk would have written a longer, more emotive letter since Morticia was one of two (probably...) Trainees he had. Calling her Morticia Cornfield-Prewett is... I suppose you'd call it a mark of respect for Gideon? Seeing as how he probably had met Healer Smethwyk, and Smethwyk knew they were getting married, and knew how deeply important that was to them - that's what Morticia would have wanted to be called.

=) and Nancy 'Nipper' Nit-Tocker's ward is like for little things, like a step in the ladder, and soon Smethwyk will work his way up to Serious Bites.

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