This was a very chilling story. I felt so sorry for Tonks and for Remus' parents.
I loved the way you described Remus' death. It's so saddening to see him realise that he was leaving behind not one but two loves. But at the same time, you'd want him to know before he died.
Then his eyes blurred and lost focus, seeing into a world unknown. His eyes slowly closed, as did his life on earth.
The two sentences were my favorite in the entire story. They were so melancholy and full of emotion that if it hadn't happened so soon in the story, I would've cried.
I can't say I understand why Remus refused to go to the hospital though. "Enough on their hands." What does that mean? It doesn't make sense to me why Remus would refuse treatment when there didn't seem to be so much on Tonks' hands. It would have been more believable if he had been injured but continued to help Harry and company on their search for Horcruxes before finally collapsing and sent home. That would also have given more characters a chance to express sorrow for Remus' death and show how much he was cared for.
I'm not sure what Tonks is running from here. I like how she's trying to escape and how you used the rhythm of words to show such an escape, but it didn't seem rational for a pregnant woman to run so far. Did she not have a care for the child? Yes, Remus might have always been the practical one, but Tonks had to have had the child on her mind. It just seems so cold-hearted for her to care only about her escape and not the welfare of the child.
I like that Tonks talked to her unborn child. Lots of expectant mothers do so, and I'm sure Tonks would've missed company. It's not always that the baby talks back though. Not sure if that's supposed to be a sign of her weakening psyche, but it was a good touch. I would've liked to have seen more of an uncertainty from Tonks. She has no one to help her through this pregnancy anymore, and she certainly doesn't seem to have gotten advice from anyone. So shouldn't she be more uncertain about what to eat, how to walk, and how to behave? That way, it would've emphasized the role Mrs Lupin played when she appeared.
I would've liked to see more emotion from Remus' parents. You left me skeptical about their love for Remus. There didn't seem to be a reason why they couldn't attend the wedding, and after Tonks' passionate reaction to Remus' death, Mrs. Lupin's seems trivial. It would have strengthened the story and the emotions in this story.
Author's Response: Thank you so, so, so, so, SO much for this, quite frankly, perfect review. I sincerely wish I had time to leave a longer response, and I certainly will if I do have time in the near future. Until then, I have taken into review your excellent points and am eternally grateful for your help, time and effort. Thank you so much!
This is a really good fic, I really liked it, I almost cryed though.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks! I'm kinda glad it almost made you cry, 'tis good that it evokes emotions :). Thanks for reading and reviewing!
This was a really sweet story. Only it's too sad that Remus died......=(( Also, I found a few typos: leave-strewn (it should be leaf-strewn) and realised out (figured out), but other than that it was good. I thought that parts of the story flew by too quickly, though, but I loved the last paragraph:
With that, they sat in the summer sunshine, marvelling at the beauty of the world around them. It had rained recently and the sun was reflecting off the dew like a million mirrors.~
Author's Response: Aw, thank you for this gem of a review :). I'm so, so sorry about the typos! I really should see about getting a beta sometime, but thank you very much for pointing them out, it is greatly appreciated. Thanks again for reviewing!
I like it but it could use a bit more detail. Good job! MJ
Author's Response: Thanks, I might work on a new copy of it at some point. Thanks for taking time to review!
Very good! Short but sweeter than honey!
Author's Response: Aw, thanks! I didn't want to make it too much longer and make it become tedious. Hmm....honey....
This story was OK, but it was kinda fluffy. It went fast and it seemed a lot of things depended on luck and chance. It wasn't BAD, though. Try spacing the events out, and putting in more details.
Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time for reading it. I know it went kind of fast and I was trying to avoid that, but at the same time I didn't want to linger too much on one emotion or scene, so I'm sorry you picked up on it. Thank you so much again for reviewing, and next time I'll try harder!
That was very very sweet. I loved it.
Author's Response: Thank you!
Awwww!! Incredibly sad, and very true to their characters, and it made me cry! I love how you described Remus' parents particularly, it seemed very realistic and just how I had pictured them. Beautiful story, loved it!!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I've always wondered how his parents would be if Jo ever introduced them, this is how I imagined them, so I'm glad you like! Thanks again for reviewing.
Wow... it was sad, but well done. I love Remus, so it was a stretch to get myself through this one. But I'm glad I did. Good job!
Author's Response: Thanks, I also love Remus, but there wouldn't've been a fic if he was alive. Thanks again!