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MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: babekitty_92 (Signed) · Date: 12/02/06 3:59 · For: First Times
Hey, I've read your chapters, and can I ask, is this your first story? I don't know, but I just get that feeling.
Anyway, I don't want to be horrible at all, because you do have a good plot line so far, but I think there is something about the story that seems a little cliched. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's really good, but I get the impression Amber and Sirius will date soon, and May and Remus, and I haven't heard any piece of dialouge from Peter yet. I really hope I don't sound horrible, but yeah, that's just my opinion.
I also think that Slughorn seems a little too strict for his normal character (I actually teach about character development on the forums here so I'm very picky). Slughorn is a very easy-going man and yes, he is fair in the fact that people need to be punished if they do the wrong thing, but I think in this part here he'd be very laughable at them and sort of go soft in the way he say's it, I just get the impression he's strict like McGonagall.
I really hope I haven't offended you, like I said you've got a great plot running and I can see this story going far, I just think there are a few things you might want to consider. If you want to contact me about it, feel free to, I'm willing to help if you want it.
Good luck and Well Done!
babekitty_92 :)

Author's Response: Omgosh I'm not offended at all!! I love constructive criticism almost as much as I like positive review! Yes, it's my first fanfic, though definately not my last. Hmm...I think I'll look into the character development thing, and yes, I know Slughorn is more..jolly...but I needed Lily to go to detention and I didnt think she'd be caught setting off Dungbombs =P I might just take you up on that offer, thanks! =D


Name: magicpolarpotterfan (Signed) · Date: 12/02/06 3:48 · For: First Times
I reAlly like your story so far! I glad the next chapter will be coming soon. Thank YOu. Keep Writing!

Author's Response: YaY!! Music to my ears! You're very welcome =)


Name: magicpolarpotterfan (Signed) · Date: 12/02/06 3:45 · For: Dream Detention
Why isn't this chapter there? Why can't i read it?

Author's Response: Because it needs to be validated. If you add this story to your favorites than when it gets updated you'll get an email telling you =)


Name: magicpolarpotterfan (Signed) · Date: 12/01/06 16:36 · For: Cackling Dingbats
I actually really liked this chapter. I love thwe sound of the Heads quarters. v. cool.

Author's Response: Thanks. Yeah, I wish my room was like theirs..*sigh*


Name: IS bookworm (Signed) · Date: 11/29/06 19:43 · For: First Times
I can't wait for the next chapter. Great story=D


Name: IS bookworm (Signed) · Date: 11/29/06 19:43 · For: First Times
I can't wait for the next chapter. Great story=D


Author's Response: Thanks you, thank you =)


Name: potters angel (Signed) · Date: 11/29/06 17:02 · For: First Times
Can't wait until the next chpter's out!
It's really good so far!

Author's Response: Thanks! It should be out soon, I submitted it as soon as I saw the 3rd one got approved. =) keep reading!


Name: pilosus_vis (Signed) · Date: 11/29/06 16:38 · For: First Times
Dammit!!! Give me more! I hate this, the whole waiting process. I keep reading it and it's just awesome that you can write so well. I want to eat at Hogwarts now! Even with just that one line! Steaming eggs and fluffy pancakes. Good stuff.

Anyway, keep it up!

Author's Response: As before, thanks, and read below vvv


Name: pilosus_vis (Signed) · Date: 11/29/06 16:36 · For: First Times
Dammit!!! Give me more! I hate this, the whole waiting process. I keep reading it and it's just awesome that you can write so well. I want to eat at Hogwarts now! Even with just that one line! Steaming eggs and fluffy pancakes. Good stuff.

Anyway, keep it up!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! And yes, the waiting thing is annoying to the max...but i suppose its needed for the simple reason that if stories didnt have to get approved than you would have tons of stories that just arent...right. yeah...hehe i'd love to eat at Hogwarts too!


Name: Mariahp (Signed) · Date: 11/29/06 16:27 · For: First Times
I really love it! You're the fic's the first I've read where they but Lucius (sp?) and Narcissa in and it actually works! Update soon!

Author's Response: Hmm...everything is double posting it seems...read below vvvv


Name: Mariahp (Signed) · Date: 11/29/06 16:27 · For: First Times
I really love it! You're the fic's the first I've read where they but Lucius (sp?) and Narcissa in and it actually works! Update soon!

Author's Response: Awww, thanks =) Actually there is a really funny part with them later on, I hope everyone likes it..mwahaha


Name: lovingu4ever (Signed) · Date: 11/29/06 15:47 · For: First Times
very good chapter. a little tense but that last part was cute though. the y'all thing kinda drives me crazy though. i luv how amber keeps forgetting about her. next chap sounds exciting and the dance, well that's definately something to look forward to. ;D

Author's Response: tense? could you do me a favor and elaborate on that?? hehe the 'y'all' thing drives me crazy as well, but i think its funny. yes, the dance is going to rock!


Name: harry45 (Signed) · Date: 11/29/06 15:31 · For: Why Can't I Breathe?
it was a great story but it could use some more action but then again it is my opinion not yours.

Author's Response: Oh trust me, there is plenty of action to come. And readers opinions are always welcome and greatly appreciated!!


Name: Magical_Lily (Signed) · Date: 11/29/06 14:39 · For: First Times
Good Chapter
Can't Wait For More
:D

Author's Response: Thanks =)


Name: nikster (Signed) · Date: 11/29/06 11:26 · For: First Times
Really good!
Cont soon!
Can't wait to see what happens next!
Loved it when James punched Lucius and Lupins comment about it!
Great writing!


Author's Response: Hehe, I like that part too...thanks for reading!


Name: MyTeardrop (Anonymous) · Date: 11/29/06 7:19 · For: First Times
Hello Dear
Really like your story! Can't wait to read more... Keep on writing and please update again soon! Thanks!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it! I'll keep the chapters coming as fast as possible =]


Name: Phoenix156 (Signed) · Date: 11/29/06 0:51 · For: First Times
I'm enjoying your story... Great work!

Author's Response: Thanks =)


Name: Lillian Potter (Signed) · Date: 11/28/06 23:17 · For: First Times
Wonderful, just make sure you update soon!

Author's Response: I will, don't worry, the next chapter is already written and proofread =P


Name: Her_mi_o_ne 16 (Anonymous) · Date: 11/28/06 22:24 · For: First Times
Oooooo. Can't wait till the next update! Your story is very funny! I'm intrigued to see what'll happen next.
Oh, and you mentioned that you were having some chapter problems. I'm sorry! May I recomment a beta? After the first chapter of my J/L story, The Tenacity of Love, got rejected I went to PI betas and got myself a beta. There are also plenty of authors willing to beta stories, myself included.
Again, can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Thanks, I like to laugh, so I thought I woud add some humor to the romance. Yeah I was, and thanks for the idea to get a beta, I might just do that! =)


Name: Her_mi_o_ne 16 (Anonymous) · Date: 11/28/06 22:17 · For: Cackling Dingbats
Another great chapter!!! I loved the part with the mirror, it was inspired.

Author's Response: Hehe, thanks =]


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