Whoa, what a cliffie to leave us with. I'm loving this story, it's very nice to read more about the Hufflepuffs and as we don't know much about them there's a great opportunity for developing their characters. Eloise sounds like a really nice person, I'm glad she's got some good friends. James seems nice, can't wait to see what happens there. Oh and in HBP don't the Weasley twins have a guaranteed ten second pimple vanisher for sale in their shop, wouldn't that help Eloise? Perhaps someone could give her some for her birthday. The bedroom of requirement sounded wonderful, wish i was there right now. Anyway, please update again soon.
Author's Response: Aw, thank you! As you probably noticed, it's been quite some time since I last updated, so it's nice to see a shiny new review! I'm really glad you like my story so far...I think the bedroom of requirement is probably one of my favorite 'places' in my story. :) And I'll consider the Weasleys--I haven't decided which of two plotlines I'm going to go with. Anyway, I don't quite know when I'll be able to update, but hopefully it will be soon! I've been very busy with summer stuff. :) Thanks again for the review!
Glad to have you back! Hope you are feeling much better.
Author's Response: Thanks! I really am.
I can just picture what the room of requirement looks like in this chapter , you described it really well.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it.
"When they reached the Hufflepuff Tower,"
Isn't the Hufflepuff common room down in the basements?
good chapter anyway
Author's Response: Thanks, and I haven't a clue.
You've kept Snape very true to his character in this chapter.
Some of his comments are quite funny like the one below.
"Time's up! Put your potion in a vial if it is... possible to do so," Snape sneered at a short Hufflepuff who was staring at his cauldron in dismay-- his potion had vanished when he added the last ingredient.
Author's Response: Thanks so much...I really love Snape as a character, and I did my best--I'm glad you liked it!
awww poor Eloise.
Author's Response: Yup, pretty much.
I like this story so far, I will keep reading.
I like reading stories about other people in Harry's year.
Author's Response: Okay, thanks!
CLIFFHANGER!!! NO FAIR!!!!!!!!!!! :-o
That's awful about your brain tumor, I hope you're feeling better!! Please update soon and good chapter!! :-)
Author's Response: Thanks and I'll try and update soon, but I don't know if it'll happen or not!
Author's Response: I'm very, very, very, VERY sorry I haven't updated sooner. You see, it actually is not my fault. My beta has had the chapter for a while now, and should be getting around to it very soon, as in the next few days. Sorry!
James seems kind of like James Potter, don't you think? Good chapter, please update soon!
Author's Response: The similarity wasn't intentional, but now that you mention it.... Yeah, he is kind of like James Potter!
mature reaction from Marietta. Interesting dream.
Author's Response: Thank you, thank you! The dream... well, I can't say anything about the dream.
The rumors and accusations do sound appropriately juvenile and yet serious enough to upset Marietta.
Author's Response: Why thank you! That was just what I was going for.
too much mystery about James Knight. Is he older or younger since he most likely isn't the same age?
Regarding Moody "The incantation for the Cruciatus Curse is Crucio, and I'm not telling you this so you can try it out on your enemies. Every one of you could point your wands at me and say 'Avada Kedavra' and I wouldn't get so much as a scratch- " I think you should have said and "say Crucio and I wouldn't feel a pinprick" because at that point Moody is talking about the Cruciatus Curse not the killing Curse. It would still convey the idea that using the Unforgivables require incredible power.
When you move on to the Imperious Curse should note that Moody ignores the spiders and practices directly on each student. Or do the Imperious Curse first on the students and have only two spiders. (If Moody has three spiders then he should also do the Imperious on the third spider before doing on the students)
When talking about the Avada Kedavra you should make a new paragraph.
Author's Response: James is a year older than Eloise. About your second comment--oops. I feel very silly. I have no idea why I wrote that. I must have been exhausted at the time. Thanks for the review!
I like how you put the canon events in as something to talk about.
I like Snape snide explanation as to why he deducted two points from Hufflepuff.
The end of the chapter is interesting where Eloise notes that someone other than Marietta talks to her as a normal person. I would assume this has happened before but this is the first time she has noticed it.
Author's Response: Well, my thinking is that people have talked to Eloise before, but never as a friend--only to ask a question or something like that.Thanks for the review!
I'm doing a reread of this story. I already read up to chap 8. I think either in this chapter or the last, you should have stated what year Eloise was in. Later on it becomes obvious that this is the fourth year of both Eloise and Harry.
The other thing is that you are not following canon. I am nitpicking but allow me to explain. The Herbology class with the Gryffindors was on the first day of school and yet you had the Hogsmeade weekend being the following Saturday. Usually those weekends don't happen until October. But later on in a future chapter you make reference to the fact that they had never had a class with Prof Moody. The point I'm making isn't that you have to follow canon, (I don't have a problem with Hogsmeade being in Sept) but that this story in the first chapter needed to have a better sense of time. Maybe just a couple of sentences reflecting that this was the start of Eloise's fourth year and that maybe things would be different with Ron and the other roommates who continually hurt her.
Although I can accept Ron being a git, I don't think Prof Sprout would actually say something against one her students like that. Maybe what you should have done was have Sprout send Eloise to go to another greenhouse to get something for her (because she was finished with extracting the bobertuber pus alot faster than the other students). When she came back she overheard Sprout's comments through closed doors and Ron's comments happened after she came back.
Author's Response: True, true... You make very good points. I will try to edit my story when I have time to have it make more sense. Thanks for the constructive criticism!
cute :) this is not the end is it?
Author's Response: No, I've still got quite a bit to go!
good chapter!! i love it when the girls yell at Renny and when they go to the RR!!! keep up the good work!!
Author's Response: Thanks! This is one of my favorite chapters, so I'm glad you liked it!
Thank you for updating, and I look forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks!
kool! nice chappie.
Author's Response: Glad you think so!!!
I have just read all six chapters, please update soon. I love the way Eloise was characteized, great job.
Author's Response: Thanks!