Reviews For Ghost Town
Reviewer: Ennalee
Date: 01/29/07 1:00
Chapter: One-shot

Well. I haven’t read one of your stories in a very long time, and you’ve grown incredibly as a writer since then. Your storyline, your syntax and diction, your writing style as a whole – may I please express my admiration? :)

Riverbend, having no historical significance or value, is a place for beings such as myself, lost philosophers who’ve reached the dead end. This line made me squee, for no apparent reason – I love his description of himself as a “lost philosopher.” Great image! Though you might consider changing “who’ve” to “who have.” This is not mandatory for grammatical correctness, since it’s meant to be coming from Milo’s voice, but he seems to me like someone who tends to speak a little more formally. I don’t know – just personal opinion.

Being with other ghosts drifting about feeling sorry for themselves sounded like a pretty lousy idea, even if misery does enjoy company. I suppose my final thought on that subject was that I’d rather depress other ghosts who’ve already lived their lives than people who still have the rest of theirs. Aw! I love how wry and skeptical he is – you did an amazing job of making me like him simply through the narrative style, aside from any considerations about his character. I tend to be skeptical when I start stories in first person, because it’s so hard to maintain a good narrative voice through an entire story, but you did a great job – Milo’s voice is wry and funny and reflective. Very ghostlike! Oh, how I love easy-to-remember names. Hee!

This story was oddly chilling, with the ghost-baby and all; what horrible people, to make that choice for their child! It’s something I’ve never considered at all – the existence of ghosts of various ages – and it raises all sorts of questions, which I think you did a great job at addressing.

Overall, have I managed to convey how impressed I am by this entire story? Great job, and I hope to read more from you!

Reviewer: sayiansirius
Date: 01/28/07 14:32
Chapter: One-shot

This is a really nice piece of work. I had never thought of what ghosts actually thought of after death. I would think that their brains would just replay the same thoughts over and over. I didn’t know they could feel either (not physical pain, of course).But your story has changed all my thoughts on these subjects. I like the feel of the story. It is very compelling and thought-provoking. I like that there is a darker sense to it than is actually shown in the story. I think that you can do so much with this story, out of this particular one-shot of course. There could be an offspring fic about the thoughts of a baby or someone who is so young being turned into a ghost…or you can write a sequel about what happens with Milo and Paige.

I wonder, is there a certain person in charge of all the ghosts? If so, who is this person and did they make the rules? The rules part confused me a bit. How would ghosts have rules? And who would enforce them? Also, doesn’t the person who made the rules know that those “punishments” doesn’t affect them?

Just one nitpick:
It’ll take you down a gravel road that goes strait into the town.”
“straight” is spelled wrong in this sentence.

Overall, very nicely written! :)
Good job!

Reviewer: HermioneDancr
Date: 11/24/06 18:18
Chapter: One-shot

You wrote such a lovely story for me that I feel compelled to review it. Sorry I didn’t get to it a bit sooner (though I guess we’ve known each other long enough that you know about me and procrastination). Anyway, I really love what you did with this. I had no idea what to expect, but this is perfect. Milo is a very compelling character, and you also manage to tackle a very dark and difficult question while keeping the mood generally light.

A few nitpicks: “I wasn’t going to listen to this mothr talk about her baby boy whom she led to this fate as though he were born with an illness no one could cure.” You left out the e in mother. Just a typo, but worth fixing at some point if you have time.

I love everything you have, but it’d be sort of nice if you managed to explain the ‘rules’ a little bit more. I wondered who made the rules and whom they apply to, and I wished Milo would get Paige to explain. Are they just rules for residents of Riverbend, or do they apply to ghosts in general? It’d be nice if you could delve into that just a little bit more, though not too much, because too much could shift the emphasis away from the central theme of whether it’s right for very young children to become ghosts.

It’s funny, but what I really keep coming back to with this story is how much you’ve grown as a writer. I remember some of your earlier stuff, and while the ideas were always there, your execution of them has improved dramatically. This story flows well. The dialogue is well written (kudos to you; dialogue is hard to write convincingly). The storyline is clear and the narrator’s emotions are wrenchingly tangible. Not that your writing was bad before, because it wasn’t at all. It’s just amazing to me how much you’ve grown.

Reviewer: NikkiSue
Date: 11/01/06 22:23
Chapter: One-shot

That was a fun change of fanfics. Thanks for letting me know about it!

Reviewer: purplepanther
Date: 10/29/06 15:58
Chapter: One-shot

Interesting story, a really creative idea! Good job!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Research and Development by Northumbrian 3rd-5th Years
The Mirrorphone, the latest advance in Wizarding communications. Now, of course...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
on this side of heaven by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ariana Dumbledore is struck by a stray curse, and she suddenly finds herself...
FEATURED
Oread, Walking by Seren
Cedric was just as odd as Hermione, because he liked to walk. Cedric/Hermione
The Effect of Gamma Rays on Two Terrifically Trapped Gryffindors. by Fenixaze 3rd-5th Years
From the "Stuck where for the weekend?" Challenge on Portkey.org ... Our two...
Drunk on Him by armagod679 Professors
For me, he was an obsession, a burning obsession, one that I could never let...
A Broken Hallelujah by epiphany212 Professors
You have always loved the chase. The pursuit of Quaffles and dragons have carried...
In the Hufflepuff Way by 1000timesingoldenink 3rd-5th Years
Did anybody really appreciate Hannah's mum?Because Mrs. Abbott was a heroine...
And Now... by Oregonian 3rd-5th Years
Moments after the death of Voldemort, Harry gazes at the corpse of the Dark...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 1 by minnabird 1st-2nd Years
Welcome back to another rousing round of rambunctious rock!However, a new act...
CATEGORIES