Gosh. This is possibly one of my favourite things you've ever written, Kiara. I may just add it to my favourites. But right now I'm just going to stay here and tell you everything that I love about it. Besides the fact that it is a R/Hr.
Firstly - I couldn't help but smile at your reference to British weather. We both know just how lovely it is here in the U.K., don't we? Hermione's feeling that even the weather is turning against her appeals to me in the fact that I can relate. When you're really down, you sort of feel depressed about everything - even the small things.
I find the prospect of Hermione and Ron's feud extremely IC, and the fact that they left it for so long is evidential of each character's pride. The fact that Hermione has finally decided to write shows that she's really hit rock-bottom. She can't be angry any longer. I am intrigued as to what caused their fight, though...
Hermione's letter reads in a lovely way -- as though she herself is speaking. There is no plan to it; it's a sort of nervous rambling, and it's very sweet and human. And very Hermione, I might add. In her following letter, she seems to have settled into the habit of writing to Ron -- it's a lot more chatty and relaxed.
Maggie is a rather likeable character. To be honest, I'd be more interested in Hermione's life than in work. I hope to see more of Maggie later in the story!
I really think you have a lot of potential for this story, dear. I can't wait to see how it pans out. Have you started working on the third chapter, yet? (I'm planning to review the second when I have more time.) Keep going with this, anyway -- I have no doubt that it will be a Kiara-classic.
Author's Response: Kate! *huggles* You are far too sweet - I am so glad you're enjoying this! I must admit, I'm quite fond of this. Just wait for the end - I think you'll like it! I hope so anyway - but I guess we'll find out soon enough!
Yes - I do make many references to the (terrible!) British weather in my fics, as when I'm writing it's usually because I can't go outside, because of the rain! Hermione and Ron are their own worst enemies in their pride - they'd be far happier if they'd just back down from it - but of course, they can't until it's too late. Well, maybe not too late, but later than they should! Yes - Hermione's rational side has come through at last - she's finally realised what everyone else has for years, how strongly she feels for Ron - strong enough to swallow her pride.
I'm really glad that you like Hermione's letter, and especially that you think it sounds as if it were her conversation, as that's exactly what I was going for with this. I'm also delighted that you think it's in character for her - I was a little worried about the second letter, so I'm glad you think she remains IC in it.
You like Maggie? To be honest, I don't too much! Sorry, but she won't be appearing later in the fic *whispers* there's only 3 chapters in total! I am so thrilled that you like this story, Kate, as your opinion means a lot to me - I will definitely keep going with this - and yes, I have finished the 3rd chapter! As soon as the next chapter of 'When Is Too Late?' gets through the queue, that will follow! Kate - like I said before - you're too sweet! I hope it will become a Kiara-classic too! *hugs* Thank you for such a lovely review!
good start and interesting.i can't help wondering what happen to all the letters and why doesn't Ron respond.frustration!!!!!!
Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you think so. I know - Hermione's wondering that too - and believe me, she's gone past the point of frustration! But she'll find out soon enough...
please update! that is all I have to say. =)
Author's Response: I will, don't worry! I've never abandoned a story so far, and I won't start with this one - an update will come soon!
Author's Response: Thanks!
great story i cant wait to read more SOON!!!
Author's Response: Thanks, I'll try and get the next chapter in queue by the new year!
Oh no I hope Ron isn't one of those people in those churches. You know, guy nuns.
Author's Response: See other review!
Oh no I hope Ron isn't one of those people in those churches. You know, guy nuns.
Author's Response: You mean monks? Or priests? Can you honestly see Ron as even religious, let alone a priest?! Not that there's anything wrong with priests - it's just not really Ron! No, he's not any type of religious figure - but the priests will help Hermioen to find Ron...
...Next chapter! =D
Author's Response: Just click the shiny button!
Great start! up date soon
Author's Response: Thank you, I will.
Very interesting! next chapter here i come
Author's Response: Oh please, read on!
Thank you for writing more, I love the setting you have chosen. Looking forward to more!! * giggles and curls toes in anticipation* xxx Michelle
Author's Response: No problem - thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you like it so far, and are looking forward to more - even if it does make your toes curl!
Awesome job! I love Hermione's weekly-letterness and Maggie seems to be a good friend although she has no idea what Hermione is going through. I'm curious to see what happens next... this chapter was a bit short ... but it was still good!
Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thank you! Maggie isn't really that good a friend of Hermione, but her heart's in the right place - even if she is a bit of a gossip! Sorry for the short chapter, I'll try to update soon so that you know what happens... Thanks for reviewing!
hopefully they will hurry up so that i can access the 2nd chapter. :)
Author's Response: Thank you, I'm really glad you like it so far. The next chapter is in queue, so should be up soon!
This is the first decent fic I've read in weeks--realistic and well-written. Bravo.
Author's Response: Wow - thank you! I'm really glad you're enjoying it, and especially that you think it realistic, as that is one of my main aims. It's also great that you think it well written! I'm just adding the next chapter now, so look out for it! Thanks for reviewing!
Thats cool. I'm looking forward to the rest of the story!
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm just sending the next chapter off to my beta now, so hopefully it'll be up soon!
ooh....so good. please update soon!!
Author's Response: Thank you! I will! Thanks for reviewing!
I saw your post in the Review Circle thread, and was intrigued by the title and the summary, so I came on over to read. And, I was extremely happy I did. : ] I think you did a great job keeping Hermione in character. I know it’s just the first chapter, but I thought that her letters and dialogue with Maggie were very Hermione-ish. The wording in the letters seems appropriate for not having spoken to Ron for a while, and her describing her relationship with Ron to Maggie was really good. This line especially, was one of my favorites: “Why can’t I just take a hint! Well, I couldn’t take one back at school, why should now be any different!”
Anyway, I think that this was an excellent first chapter. There was enough information to keep us intrigued, but you didn’t give too much away. It left me with some nice questions. What was their fight about, and where does Harry fit into all of this? [I wonder if he’s dead- Hermione only mentioned him once, and apologized for bringing him up…] Hopefully you’ll tell all this soon. I’ll just have to sit tight. Oh, where does Hermione work? I was wondering that- I might have completely missed it in the chapter though…
One small thing- in the first letter, this line: “Maybe it wasn't really that much of a big deal.” I would say “that big of a deal,” instead of “that much of a big deal.” I think having both big and much is a little redundant. But other than that, I didn’t see anything to critique. :]
And, I have a bad feeling that this is a piece of foreshadowing which could be unfortunate for Hermione:
"How are you? About Ron, I mean?" But I wasn't sure she really wanted to know, as she had this queer look on her face.
I think that Lavender was talking about something other than what Hermione thought. :[ I guess I’ll have to wait and see. [And I’ll be waiting eagerly!]
Well, really great story so far!
Author's Response: *hugs* Thanks for coming to check it out, Melissa - and for leaving such a lovely review! I'm especially glad that you thought that Hermione was in character, as that's the thing I always worry about most. Yes - Hermione was getting a little hysterical at times - but I don't think I can blame her! I'm really glad you enjoyed the first chapter, as I always find these the hardest to write, setting things up whilst keeping it interesting - and giving some information without giving away everything - so I'm glad you thought I pulled that one off! You'll find out most of the answers all in due time! Although you're along the right lines in some of your thoughts...
I haven't actually said where Hermione works - it's not that important. But, just as some trivia, she works for the Ministry of Magic, investigating illegal activity in the north of England. There are subsections to her department, but as she is fairly high up in her job (hence why she had to move up north for her promotion) she mainly oversees everything and only takes on some of the bigger cases. Thanks for pointing that out with the sentence rephrasing - it would work a lot better like that, I'll change it in a minute!
I'm glad you're enjoying it so far - I'll be sending the next chapter to my beta soon, so hopefully it will be up fairly quickly! Thanks for reviewing!
I like it! I know I'm supposed to be constructive here, so... Maybe you could put some parts wioth Ron's thoughts about the letters? I don't know, just an idea. This seems like a very good story so far.
Author's Response: Thanks! But this chapter's mainly focusing on Hermione - she doesn't know if Ron's even opening the letters, as he hasn't written back. You'll find out a little more about Ron later. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far!
After just the first chapter, I am hopelessly hooked. Your work just fascinates me. You have such a wonderful, writing style, it seems as if you don't even have to think of the words. The your work flows it's as if it's just a conversation.
Besides your writing, I love the plot. There are endless possibilties to what you could do with this, and I for one, cannot wait to see which you choose.
Author's Response: Lexy, I <3 you so much - I think you've read & reviewed everything I've written! Thank you, I'm really glad you enjoy what I write - as that's why I write it, for people to enjoy. I'm really glad you ejnoy the plot so far, as I've had this idea going around for a while. What will I choose? You'll just have to wait and see! Thanks for reviewing!
This looks very promising...I love mysteries like this...you have a fluent writing style which is easy on the eye as well as flowing nicely. Good one!! Awaiting with breath held for next chapters!! :)
Author's Response: Thank you, I'm happy you think so! There will be a lot more mystery - well, right up until the end, actually! I'm glad you like my style as well, I'm really flattered by your comments! Thanks for reviewing!