Reviewer: callmehermione
Date: 02/23/07 1:29
Chapter: Chapter 1

Well, here I am, listening to the review plea in the babble. I'm excited to read the story! I picked one with no long reviews so I can leave a sufficiently detailed one.

I like that you show how puzzled Charlie is at having to go to Romania. I've always wondered why JKR chose Eastern Europe. Still, Romania of all places? If I spoke this sentence aloud, I would pause after 'Romania.' Does that make sense? Maybe you could add a comma there.

The grass was of an ethereal green, punctuated by tiny shacks of those people who lived here for centuries, unchanging in their ways, living off the land. I love the picture this sentence creates; it's delightful imagery. I can see the mountains and little houses and endless pastures and such. It needs to be 'had lived,' though, as you're speaking in the pluperfect.

Oh, I like that you added that Charlie didn't know what sort of animals for whom he would be caring. And then dragons, of all things! The exchange with the driver is also very believable - a good example of someone who's not quite well-travelled attempting to be friendly with the countryside-people. The inclusion of Romanian is a nice touch, too.

I'm having trouble picturing a jovial issue of the "stop!" command, but I'll manage. *hee*

Everything looked so different, felt so different and he ached for the familiar. This realisation is brilliantly realistic. Charlie's inexperienced and embarking on a job that may be his career, and with a language barrier as well! I can imagine his feeling here, and you've captured it well.

Oh, what a frustrating ending! I hope it works out better for Charlie. The beginning of his story is interesting, though, and thank you for sharing it!

Reviewer: Rapid Reader
Date: 12/22/06 0:14
Chapter: Chapter 1

Great story!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Blaise Inglorious by Northumbrian 6th-7th Years
Ginny is stuck at Hogwarts while Harry, Ron, and Hermione are on the run. Blaise...
A Sackful of Holiday Horsefeathers by Piwakitt 3rd-5th Years
This story has a bit of everything in it. Humor, romance, Slytherin schemes...
Get Older by ellie oh 6th-7th Years
Lily is having something of a breakdown, unsure of where she fits as graduation...
FEATURED
Tarot by DeadManSeven 3rd-5th Years
A reading that consists of only cards from the Major Arcana indicates the destiny...
Rat by DragonDi 6th-7th Years
The Potters' Secret Keeper, Sirius Black, is presumed dead. Remus Lupin wants...
The Ruin by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Even in its abandonment and slow disintegration, it retains its power to destroy...
CATEGORIES