Reviewer: RupertsPheonix
Date: 10/29/06 6:40
Chapter: Chapter 1

Aww, very cute. Lovely little fic...+10/10! =) --RP

Author's Response: Thank you!!!

Reviewer: ViolentIvyLeaguegrrl
Date: 10/28/06 17:14
Chapter: Chapter 1

That was very sweet. I enjoyed the sensitive side of Lavender being shown, as J.K. Rowling doesn't elaborate upon her emotions and many fics make her out to be a vengeful bitch. Very sweet and quite well-written.

Author's Response: Haha yeah! I decided to try a side of Lavender that isn't really shown a lot! I hoped it wasn't too OOC, but then I kinda realised that it may be... but anyway, thank you SO much for your review!

Reviewer: Marauder by Midnight
Date: 10/18/06 16:53
Chapter: Chapter 1

It's really good to see the trio from another perspective. Lavender isn't quite the malicious airhead I assumed she was from the books, and that's good. You developed a flat character into a rounder one, one whom we can understand and not hate so much.

...her head rested on one of the Gryffindor-coloured cushions
"Gryffindor" isn't a color so it can't be used in this context. "Gryffindor-themed" may have been a better choice of words. I understand what you're trying to say, but it wasn't put in the correct way in this case.

Maybe their first kiss hadn’t been so great, her feeling as if he was eating her face, but he had progressively improved and was now as good as you get!
Hehe, this was pretty funny and took me by surprise. I had forgotten, from reading all those stories about Ron-the-fabulous-snogger that Lavender did give him his first kiss. Great job mixing in humor in the most unexpected places!

The way you described the animosity between Lavender and Hermione, from Lavender's point of view, I can see how they completely clash with one another. In HBP, it was obvious Hermione and Lavender were both at odds and possessive over Ron. While we saw a lot of Hermione's reactions, Lavender's thoughts weren't very clear. Good job voicing them and in a way that is completely plausible and fitting for both characters.

However, the final confrontation between Hermione and Lavender didn't seem to fit either character. Lavender turned into a foul-mouthed, tempered girl who was willing to forfeit her "Won-won" so easily after seeing them together. Hermione, who I thought would've jumped at the opportunity to stake her claim over Ron, did something reasonable. The thing that was emphasized in HBP was Hermione's surprising break in character by being insensible and unrational when it came to Ron and Lavender. She wasn't the same mature person you depicted here; she was much more childish (sending canaries after them, for example). I wasn't sure about Ron's reaction either. While it was bold of him and I was very proud of him for standing up to Lavender, it seemed awkward and might not have been his style. But, seeing as how no one had called Hermione a "bitch" before, I wouldn't know how he would've reacted.

"Muggle-borns" has a hyphen. Just for future reference.

There were also a few commas out-of-place as well as some words that didn't quite fit in (almost like the "Gryffindor-coloured cushions"). But while they stood out, the story as a whole was quite lovely and entertaining to read. It was refreshing, seeing a Seamus/Lavender, and very plausible if a few minor details were adjusted/added. Congratulations!

-Beth

Author's Response: omg, this is a perfect example of reviews I want! You showed me exactly what I need to do to become a better writer, and mistakes that I made in this fic. I'll change them as soon as possible! Thank you so much for your review and everything you said!

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