Author's Response: :)
kinda unexpected to read such a happy chapter nad loads of comic relief - but it does the story only good. Having Petunia tell the reunion and including her regrets was a good choice. So, what's Malfoy in for? *grins evily*
Author's Response: It was rather unexpected, wasn't it? It was kind of refreshing for me to write happy things happening one after another! But, whether good or bad, I can't help myself -- the next chapter will be my usual angst-y style. And as for Malfoy. . . . Thanks for the review!
That was a good chapter to read all in all, but I think you were way too soft with Bellatrix. She's practically as evil as Voldemort and I have a hard time believing that she wouldn't pass up the opportunity to torture Ginny for a while. I know it wouldn't have been easy to write about Ginny being tortured, but you make it seem like Bellatrix has a nice side, which she most certainly doesn't.
Anyway apart from that I was really curious as to whether or not Ginny had to kiss Draco at the wedding. You didn't mention that happening, but I figure it probably would've been overkill on the unhappy ending of this chapter.
Author's Response: Hmm, you're probably write about Bellatrix. My big problem with fanfiction is that sometimes I just don't think I'm good at capturing particular characters, and short of ignoring their existence, I don't always know how to deal with them. Dumbledore is one example of that, Bellatrix another. I'm glad you liked the chapter overall, however! Thanks for the review. Ginny did have to kiss him, in my mind at least. I actually had Ginny thinking about the fact that she kissed him and going over the rest of the wedding in her head in the next chapter she appears in, but then took it out because it didn't fit in with everything else that was going on in that chapter. Does that make any sense?
That was very exciting to read. Unfortunately, there's not much for me to criticize anymore (I happen to be one of those people that find it much easier to criticize than praise), so I don't have much to right. I am glad to know that somebody besides me hates James too though. Oh there is one thing I have to point out: Dudley... turning off a t.v... that would never happen in a million years ;)
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! And don't worry, not criticism (while it is very helpful, and I appreciate it) is a good thing! I do actually worry that I didn't make Dudley realistic enough in this story, but oh well -- you can't win 'em all. Thanks for the review.
That was a very revealing chapter there. The paralleling between the muggle-born camps and the Jewish ghettos is very realistic so that adds something to your story. I'm not into romance all that much so I don't have very much to say about most of the meeting between Ron and Hermione but on the other hand the revelation that Hermione had adds another layer of interestingness (yes I know that's not a real word) to your story. Good job, I'll look forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: The paralleling between the muggle-born camps and the concentration camps of WW2 was intentional, and I'm glad you thought it worked well with the story. Hermione's pregnancy certainty does complicate things, doesn't it? Thanks very much for the review!
It's been a little while since I read this but anyway...
Well, this was a bit annoying to read because I'm just slightly a Severus Snape fan (okay I'm a big Severus Snape fan). Even though it's hard for me to read I understand we have our differences (you dislike Snape, and I hate James's guts.
Anyway, now that I got that rant out of the way, I did like this chapter after getting over Snape being a bad guy. The Lupin part was a nice bit of foreshadowing and I really like how your putting a more global perspective on the story by throwing in other countries.
As for Snape being a villain I think you did a very good job with trying to transform him. When you wrote the scene about Snape describing Lily, Snape came off sounding very lustful. For me at least, this takes Snape's one redeeming characteristic and reverses that characteristic into something that makes him even more evil. So I'm glad you didn't just ignore the whole Snape/Lily relationship.
All in all, I think that your characters are okay (as in there's nothing that unique as far as I can see about the way you have presented them so far), but I think you have a very good knack for creating an exciting, and suspenseful plot. I hope you keep it up.
Author's Response: I do admit, my hatred of Snape doesn't exactly do justice to the amazing character J.K. Rowling has created, but I can't help myself -- I really do hate him. I think a big part of that hatred might actually come from all the stories that have sprung up that have Lily never actually loving James and only ever loving Snape, and I those great on my nerves like nothing else. Anyway, I'm glad even if you're a Snape fan you can still enjoy my story and its plot. Thanks for the review!
Already chapter 3 and your plot keeps on getting better! I like that you've added the whole global wizarding world war by throwing in America and Germany. The only question I have is what about France? They're obviously the closest country to Britain and, thus, the most threatened so is there some plot there as well?
Anyway as for the characters I hate Malfoy still and he's still getting more villainous so that's good. Although the flashback was a little weird (it just didn't seem to flow with their personalities too well) the current Ginny is very... Ginny. I don't know how to say it but you wrote her well enough that I'll definitely keep reading.
And well, I guess Rowling was able to trick you quite well with the whole Severus killing Dumbledore thing. Unfortunately, the fact that Severus is really the tragic hero of the books and not the villain automatically means that "your" Severus will be way OOC. Hopefully, you'll have some surprise were Severus isn't the bad guy because I'm going to have a hard time adjusting to Severus being evil, it just doesn't seem to fit him well in my opinion (although I am a bit of Severus Snape fan, so it might just be me). Anyway, I'll get to used to it and try not to be too critical about Snape being weird. Overall it's a good story so far.
Author's Response: I'm glad you think its getting better! I'm something of a flashback fan, and most of my other stories have flashbacks as a part of the plot. They don't really fit into this story, however, so I can see how one might seem out of place. As for Severus Snape -- I've never liked him, and even after the seventh book, I still don't like him. Many people in fanfiction seem to have a soft spot for him, and although I appreciate that J.K. Rowling created an amazing character in him, I still never really like him. Sorry if that worsens the story for you :(
I'll try to review every chapter in hopes that you read them and it helps.
Anyway Petunia was a bit better, she wasn't close enough to trick me into thinking this was canon (which has happened to me before in other fanfictions) but she wasn't so terrible that it was hard to read. I think you did the best you could with Petunia in order to fit her into the plot so it turned out okay.
I like the way you portrayed Ron, it seemed very realistic. Hermione was good too, although there's something wrong with her, I just can't put my finger on it yet.
Anyway once you get over the part about the plot being so hard to believe (since it's very unlikely that very many death eaters could have escaped capture), it's actually very good. So far it's mildly suspenseful and I hate the hidden death eater (which is a good thing. If you ever hate a character then you've successfully created a villain) so good job. I'll definitely keep reading for now.
P.S. oh and I did think it was from Harry's POV (point of view) at the beginning.
Author's Response: I'm glad you're starting to like the characters better. The plot might be a bit out there, but I thought it was fun nonetheless, and its good to know you enjoy it still. Thanks for the review!
As far as starting off the story, I think you did it quite nicely. You started with some suspense and away from the main point of action so it worked okay. The problem I have is with both Harry's letter and Petunia in general. There is no way in the world that I could ever believe Harry telling Petunia that he wanted her to love him, it's way too mopish and emotional to be anything the real Harry would ever say. Based on the real books I think Petunia simply hates wizards way too much and is way to attached to her husband to ever suddenly take the baby in and then go over to Ms. Figg's house. Already I feel that Petunia is way out of character and if Harry continues to act like he did in the letter then he will be too. By having Harry and Petunia so out of character you make me feel as if I'm reading a story that has a character with the "name" Harry but this isn't the "real" Harry at all. I sincerely hope Harry isn't going to be an OOC wreck in the coming chapters though. So far the great start and what looks-to-be exciting plot has piqued my interests enough to read farthing in, but if you just happen to be another writer who mutilates the characters beyond recognition I won't be reading the whole thing.
Author's Response: I always thought Petunia had a softer side that J.K. Rowling would reveal in the seventh book; however, after reading it there certainly doesn't seem to be one, and I can see how you would find the Petunia I've written to be out of character therefore. I'm glad you liked the plot enough to keep reading nonetheless! Thanks for the review; constructive criticism is always welcomed :)
This story is fantastic! I'm a little confused though.
Author's Response: Thanks! It is confusing, I know, but as you read onward, more pieces will start to fall into place and it will make more sense :)
Please please P L E A SE update this. It is by FAR the best Post-Hogwarts Story so far. and i love the suspicion and danger of the death eaters taking over the country, it gives it a really good plot! :]
Author's Response: I'm glad you think so! Thanks very much, and I will try and update soon!
Ok, this may be a total longshot...but I think Katie is actually Snape...well that's my theory for now :) Can't wait for the update--Keep up the great work!
when is the next chapter being posted?? Cant wait!!
Author's Response: Soon!
Yay! It's so Cool! I was like freaking out when I saw it updated anyway, love it and keep writing.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you think so!
sorry that i havent reviewed in quite awhile... for anything...
YAY!! happy chappie! i was really hoping nothing bad would ruin the good mood... well, there's the thing with snape and malfoy, which will probably turn everything upside-down, but for now we can all feel warm and bubbly inside!!
~“Harry,” Ron said, “Your pregnant wife is beating up our unconscious prisoner.”
“Be sure to get him in the eye, hon.”
~ “It wasn’t a very big room, and I was in there for a month, meaning I probably sat in a place where you two — you two — you two —”
~then the chapters preview dialogue and further
It does leave me wondering what will happen when draco talks and such, but i am not going to worry untill it happens because i'm in too good of a mood right now to think about bad things taht could happen.
I also like your little background of Lily and Petunia :)
keep being amazing!!!
Author's Response: It was nice to finally write a chapter that had minimum angst in it! (Although truth be told I do enjoy writing angst!) It was a lot of fun to write all the witty lines among the characters; I'm glad you enjoyed reading them :) Thank very much for the review. Hopefully it won't be too long before you get to find out what happens with Draco. . . .
I was away for 5 days and when I got back, I found an update and a new one-shot from you -- you've been busy while I was gone!
And such a brilliant update it was, too. I loved it how happy everyone was, and I really enjoyed reading the conversations between Ron and Ginny and Harry.
And as usual, you've left us with a cliffie and dropped an intriguing detail in the middle -- this time it was that thing with the interrogation -- and you've got me eagerly waiting for more.
Very, very good, once again.
Author's Response: I have been busy -- I'm glad you appreciate it! It was nice to write everyone happy in this chapter (usually I'm just better with the angst) and it's good to know it was enjoyed :) As for that intriguing detail: it's a huge detail. . . . Thanks for the review!
Yes!!!! Couldn't have asked for a more perfect reunion! And I loved the way you wrote Harry at the end, all the tension building to his response....I can not wait to see what happens next!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I had a lot of fun writing it, too. Thanks for the review.
this is amazing! they are finally together! woooooooo. haha great story so far, love every word of it! update soon!
kel aka MarauderWannabe
Author's Response: Thanks very much!
I'm having the feeling I haven't ead the previous chapter.
Nice one, but some typos made some sentences hard to understand.
Update soon, please!
Author's Response: I'll try and correct those typos as I see them! Thanks for the review.
OK, it is now confirmed. YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!! This is a FANTASTIC (No, that word is NOT strong enough, but it's the best my mind can come up with at the moment) chapter! More, more, please!
Author's Response: I'm awesome, eh? Sounds good to me! I'm glad you liked this chapter; it was one of my favorite to write so far.