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Reviews For A Stolen Past

Name: ginny75 (Signed) · Date: 05/11/07 5:59 · For: Chapter 18: Back to the Beginning
I really liked this story. Im glad there is a sequel. I think it will be just as good as this one. I just couldn't stop reading it. Thats why I waited until I was done reading before I left a review. keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 05/09/07 16:53 · For: Chapter 14: Questions and Answers
Yes! I do want to beat him with a baseball bat!!!

Author's Response: Wow, what violence! ;-)

Name: peggie (Signed) · Date: 05/09/07 2:46 · For: Chapter 18: Back to the Beginning
Great story, thanks! Am looking forward to the sequel.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you enjoy the sequel as well! :-)

Name: TheTrioLivesOn (Signed) · Date: 05/02/07 16:29 · For: Chapter 18: Back to the Beginning
I'm about to read the sequal. I usually don't like Harry looses his memory stories, but this one was good. Will we be seeing whats-his-name from St. Brutus' again, Harry's one friend?

Can't wait to read!

Author's Response: Thank you! It's always flattering when somebody who doesn't like this type of story still likes this particular one. It makes me smile. :-) Have fun with the sequel, and yes, Tyler will definitely be back.

Name: red haired mom (Signed) · Date: 05/01/07 13:59 · For: Chapter 18: Back to the Beginning
I actually agree with you about letting the story end here. The sequel picks up at the Dursley's though right? Any way, I think you did a really good job with this story. Parseltongue was a power that Harry had before he went to Hogwarts and it seemed like a good place for him to start regaining his powers from the point of talking to Hasseth. Again, good job, and I will review again at the end of the sequel.

Author's Response: Thanks very much! The sequel does indeed pick up back at the Dursleys'. I look forward to seeing what you think of it. Thanks for leaving your thoughts.

Name: browneyedgirl333 (Signed) · Date: 04/29/07 18:04 · For: Chapter 18: Back to the Beginning
OMG its the end....

Author's Response: Yeah, but there is a sequel! :-)

Name: PEMDAS (Signed) · Date: 04/24/07 22:17 · For: Chapter 4: Hassseth
This story is very good so far! It's going on my favorites list.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you like it, and I hope you continue to enjoy it. :-)

Name: AlexisTaylor (Signed) · Date: 04/22/07 15:12 · For: Chapter 13: The Burrow
“She may have been a snake, but she was more human to Harry than most people he knew. He lay there among the trees, motionless, for a long time, just allowing the sorrow to envelop him.” I feel so bad for Harry. She was such a central animal figure in his life- much like the role BuckBeak played for the years prior. A protector and just someone to talk to.

“…but I couldn’t write it. Is that normal?” I may have been the only reader not to understand it up until this point, but I finally get it! And it makes me wonder who cast the Fidelius spell. And who the Secret Keeper is.

“So now I get out of Transfiguration and I didn’t even have to pretend to be sick. Thanks!” Ha ha. I adore your Ron. Always seeing the good in getting out of class. Very nice.

I love that Harry stops at a petrol station, of all places, to ask for directions. It brings the reader back to a place where they’re reminded that Hogwarts, magic, all exists in a realm that is distinctly Muggle.

And sigh. You’ve had Molly and Arthur become suspicious of Harry. You have a true talent with fan fiction. I have to wonder if you ever write original work. It’s so real, it’s tangible, and my mind doesn’t scream, “This isn’t JKR!” Actually, she doesn’t even register when I read your story, because the writing is so distinctive in my head as how the story SHOULD be.

Molly is bossy and eccentric as ever, and very mommy-like.

I realized I haven’t mentioned it so far. Your grammar is wonderful. Your word choices and sentence structures flow effortlessly, your punctuation is in the right place at the right time. I’m awed by your work.

Thanks for another great chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I still feel terrible for letting Wormtail kill Hassseth. It was one of those things that had to happen for the plot to work out right, but I definitely didn't want to do it.

I'm glad that the story seems to flow. I haven't written any original fiction (yet) but I have plans to at some point in the vague future. After I'm out of grad school. But it makes me feel good to know that I write in such a way that I'm not constantly inspiring unfavorable comparisons with JKR. ;-)

Thanks for the comment about my grammar, also. I firmly believe that I learned everything I know about grammar from reading a lot as a kid (because I know I learned nothing about it in school). All around, thank you for the wonderful, thought-out review.

Name: AlexisTaylor (Signed) · Date: 04/22/07 14:54 · For: Chapter 12: “I smell a rat.”

“Suddenly, he saw movement out of the corner of his eye, and shifted his position on the floor to be able to see it better. The pointed nose of a rat was protruding from the large crack in the wall that Hassseth had been staring at only a few minutes ago. Cautiously, never ceasing to sniff the air, the rat emerged from the crack. As it stepped forward, Harry’s breath caught in his throat; the rat’s right front paw was a metallic silver color, almost as if it had been dipped into a bath of molten silver and hadn’t yet had a chance to dry.” You’ve got such a wonderful description here. Instead of saying the rat ‘stepped’, I would have used a more sensory term, like ‘scratched’ so that the reader could really hear its presence. I have to admit that the idea of Hassseth eating Pettigrew cracks me up. It would be such an anticlimactic end for him.

Oh no! I think it was a good move to have Pettigrew change form as the poison sunk in (if Hassseth was truly poisonous, even to humans?) and simultaneously freak Harry out. It’s a time for some more answers, even if Harry doesn’t like them. I think this is an interesting way of reintroducing Harry to his ‘fate’. I wonder if he’ll accept it the same way this time around.

The fight scene is drawn out, which I liked. A complaint that I do have about the actual HP series is that the fight scenes tend to end with just a few spells. All the ones Peter used were well-known to Harry and matched my estimation of Peter’s abilities and intelligence, and therefore it was very realistic.

A sudden pounding on the door caused Harry to leap to his feet, his frazzled senses on alert. After preparing himself to curse the caller if necessary, he asked, in the calmest voice he could muster, “Who’s there?” Again, the reaction is very natural for what he’s been through. You’ve got a great skill.

“He wondered briefly whether this broom had belonged to the rat-wizard, but a sudden sound to his left stole his attention.” It is certainly too easy to just have a broom lying there, but this line made it believable. You do push the boundaries of suspension of disbelief, but you always make up for it.

“Not knowing a spell for dousing fires, he did the only thing he could think of: he made a slashing motion with his hand while saying, “Diffindo,” severing the burning portions from the rest of his broom’s tail. Immediately, he noticed that the broom’s response seemed more sluggish than it had been a moment ago.” Just wonderful. I would imagine that would throw its aerodynamics off.

I’d clap if I wouldn’t look retarded doing that here. You’re doing so amazing!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This was really the pivotal chapter of the story, and at the same time the hardest to write because of what happens to Hassseth. From what I read on the Internet, an adder's venom would be plenty potent enough to kill a human, but they inject so little when they bite that it would normally only be lethal to the very sick/weak. However, when you combine the fact that Wormtail was a rat when he was bitten with his idiotic move of squeezing her head with the fangs still embedded in him, I think having him die is realistic enough.

I'm glad you enjoyed the fight scene. It's actually been a while since I read a duel in the actual books, and the ones I read in fanfiction are usually much longer than what I write, so it's good to get a positive comment on that. Thanks! I really appreciate all of your thoughts. You're right that I tend to push the boundaries of believability, but I do try to always offer an explanation. I'm glad you liked it.

Name: AlexisTaylor (Signed) · Date: 04/22/07 14:37 · For: Chapter 11: Correspondence
I thought it might be high time I got around to reviewing your work, since I’m no longer your mod. I adore your work, and while it takes a bit for your story to become believable, it does with just a bigger stretch of the imagination.

“Anyway, I can’t believe your memory’s gone! It’s crazy! I take back everything I said in my last letter about you being a prat. Really, I just want my best mate back.” I wanted to point out that the British say ‘mad’ instead of ‘crazy’. But I really like your use of Ron’s voice. It’s not belligerent or moronic, it’s just the voice of a good friend (and a boy as a friend, not the effeminate version I so often see in fan fic).

“I’m so glad you finally realized that you know me! I’ve been helping Ron with his letters, of course, but it’s not the same as being able to write to you personally. I do hope that everything is going well with you, wherever you are.

So far, we’ve managed to keep the fact that we’re corresponding with you a secret. The only ones who know are you, me, Ron, and Professor Dumbledore. I think Ginny - that’s Ron’s sister, if you didn’t know - might suspect something because she saw Hedwig flying out of my dormitory window after dropping off your letter, but she hasn’t said anything outright.” I can hardly believe how amazing your characterization skills are. Hermione is just so on target in this chapter. The fact that her answers to Harry’s letters are so much longer is just …wonderful. You have the subtle knack that I’d say I lack, even, when it comes to characterization (and I’d like to think I’m pretty good at it).

I can tell you’ve really grown into your story at this point and it’s coming very naturally.

Harry’s hesitation at telling his friends his location is a testament to his fear. Having amnesia has to be such a frightening experience. I do think you could bring this fear out a bit more. Anyone would be dead scared to learn so many terrible/interesting/bold things all at once.

“Er, would you mind if- Could I have it then?” Tyler asked, looking extremely uncomfortable. “I mean, she is really pretty. Plus, it’s way cool to have a photo that moves.” I am so incredibly creeped out that Tyler wants the photo. I won’t say why I think he wants it, but it’s enough to say that I don’t want to know what it looks like after a couple of weeks.

Fabulous job as usual!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really appreciate all the work you did as my mod. The update speed was incredible.

I've always tried really hard to keep my characterizations believable, although I'm not generally one to sit there and agonize over it. I just imagine what the character would say/do and then write it. *shrug* Still, it's always gratifying to hear that I've gotten the characters right. It bugs me to read stories where Ron's an idiot (or, at the other end of the spectrum, a sensitive romantic), etc.

As for dragging out Harry's hesitation to tell his friends where he is, I could have emphasized it a bit more, but by this point my readers and I just wanted to get things rolling, so I may have rushed it a bit. Oh, and don't worry about Tyler: he was just uncomfortable asking for the photo because it's awkward asking one of your friends for a picture of his ex-girlfriend. Tyler has very little contact with girls and is totally infatuated with magic, so it's only natural for him to be interested in the picture. But he didn't want it for... well... THAT. *shudder*

Once again, thank you very much for modding and then for coming back to review. I really appreciate it. :-)

Name: RemusdelaNoche (Signed) · Date: 04/20/07 17:06 · For: Chapter 18: Back to the Beginning
Excelent story... im beginning the sequal now!

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it! Hope you like the sequel too. :-)

Name: lemurnandy (Signed) · Date: 04/17/07 17:22 · For: Chapter 18: Back to the Beginning
Awesoime story!!! Very well written and thought out. Impressive work!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 04/16/07 12:58 · For: Chapter 18: Back to the Beginning
WHAT!?!? he has to go BACK??? I don't think so!

Author's Response: Oh, come on; you didn't think Dumbledore would let anything get in the way of his plan, did you? Don't worry, though; it won't be nearly as bad this year. ;-)

Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 04/16/07 12:41 · For: Chapter 17: Harry’s Dream Girl
I thought it was gonna be HP/HG. Oh well. I still like the silence. Harry has his friends back!! yay!!

Author's Response: Sorry to disappoint you on that one, but I'm too much of an H/G shipper to go that way. I'm glad you're happy about Harry's friends being back though!

Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 04/16/07 12:20 · For: Chapter 16: A Bumblebee
Cool!!! Harry can do wandless magic!! ha ha Umbridge!!!

Author's Response: Yeah; isn't it great that her attempt to get rid of him backfired so spectacularly? :-)

Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 04/16/07 12:12 · For: Chapter 15: Confrontation
Damn her for doing that!!!

Author's Response: That about sums it up!

Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 04/16/07 12:04 · For: Chapter 14: Questions and Answers
OMFG!!!! I hate Uncle vernon!!!! I am so amd right now!!

Author's Response: Makes you want to beat HIM with a baseball bat, doesn't it?

Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 04/16/07 11:51 · For: Chapter 13: The Burrow
Yay!!! harry's safe now!

Author's Response: Hip hip hooray! ;-)

Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 04/16/07 11:47 · For: Chapter 12: “I smell a rat.”
Poor Hassseth! I'm so sad now.

Author's Response: It broke my heart to do it, but it was the only way. Take solace in the fact that she took Peter with her.

Name: mrsdan (Signed) · Date: 04/16/07 11:38 · For: Chapter 11: Correspondence
Thank god they're back in touch!!! Tyler has a crush on Cho!! *hee hee*

Author's Response: Yeah, I thought that was kinda cute. ;-)

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