That was fun. It's a great feeling when you have one of those days worthy of a strut or ten.
It was slightly entertaining but there was nothing that really jumped out and grabbed my attention. Not bad though...
Definitely a bit of fun! Enjoyed it..
Ahhh ... excellent!! :D
I really wanted to say something intelligent and constructive, but I think the other reviews have got it covered ... all I'll say is that I LOVED the story, and the concept, and even the way it ended. *lol*
You ought to write more such ficlets on mere whims ;)
Strutting... I like this... I love how he wakes everybody up and I love this line here: [quote]Perhaps it was because Lily Evans had finally accepted that she and James were meant to be together for all eternity, forever remaining passionately in love like any soul mates should…
Well, technically she’d agreed to go to Hogsmeade with him anyway, and that was basically the same thing.
Because when I read the first part I thought "Oh god, not another one!" but then the second part made me laugh because you kept James very true to his character, which was brilliant. :)
nice. it was cute, and pretty funny.
Ha, ha, ha! Funny! I knew there was more to that strutting line than meets the eye...
That was good, but I was just wondering; in the line, “Potter, please. Where is your sense of apathy?”, should it be apathy, or should it be sympathy?
Apathy means not caring, and sympathy means sharing an emotion. Sirius wants James to be sympathetic towards him because he's tired, not apathetic. He wants him to care that he's tired. I think sympathy would've made more sense. To me it would, at least. Sorry if thats confusing. I'm really tired right now.
Plus, Snivellus is spelled with two Ls. Just thought I'd point that out.
Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed your story. I liked how James strutted everywhere. The way you wrote it, it made it seem like James strutting wasn't an everyday occurrence, so he didn't seem so big-headed. It was a good idea, I enjoyed it!
I loved it. You make strutting sound so fun, hummerous, and harmless. I think that I will strut tomarrow. Yes indeed, I will. I love Sirius as a favored admirer. You have a lot of talent and should keep writting! =]
this story is brilliant. it shows james on his cocky side, but it's really really well written one of my fave one-shots
Very funny! I never thought of it that way! Good job!
Author's Response: Aha! Well, I aim to bemuse.rn^^ Thank you.
"A bit of old tosh"
i could picture james stutting about the castle throughout the story.
i thought it was excellent.
Author's Response: Well, thank you!rnThat's very kind of you, and I'm glad to have provided a little smile for your day.rn...rnLord, what a badly written sentence. ><
I don't know what I was expecting when I clicked this story, but I assure you that this is not what I thought!
The barrier that keeps me from laughing out loud, I think, is that I couldn't get over James strutting because he had a good day. Everyone seems to think this is unusual, so I wonder if this is the first good day James has had.
Also, I felt that a lot of this story was filler. The da Flor twins were like props on a stage that were never used. Lily also barely had a role in this story.
A place that could've been more humorous than it was would've been Potions class. Slughorn, you say, was amused. How so? What did he say? That scene turned more into filler than a real humor scene to contribute to your story.
If James is a sixth year, he shouldn't have been able to go to Hogsmeade with Lily since she doesn't go on a date with him until after she's seen how responsible he could be as Head Boy.
He didn’t swear when Peter snuck a pepper-flavoured Bertie Botts pepper-flavoured bean into his scrambled eggs
A bit repetitive? :)
You may want to capitalize spells such as "Silencing Charm" and "Transfigured."
“You’ve just noticed that, have you?” asked Remus, and James wasn’t sure who exactly he had meant to jeer.
Very funny! Well placed too, in the midst of a potentially serious situation to remind us all that it is a humor story.
Where James is bragging about his 'admirers', wouldn't he have lost Lily then? I don't think she would've appreciated being called an admirer, especially by cocky James.
Finally, this story started out and ended from Severus' viewpoint. His opinion that James struts is based completely on his experience. So the switch between James' view point from Severus' threw me off and weakened your story.
This story definitely had humor potential. I would've loved to see how James' strutting sat with his peers. However, none of the scenes were really developed to its humor potential. It was a good idea though!
Author's Response: O_O Wow. I think more intelligence, wit and... possibly words went into this review than the actual story. But you're right on every count, undoubtedly.rnThe Da Flor siblings - not twins, by the way, but a little less than a year apart in their age - are actually OC's I developed a lot in the past. Al becomes a Death Eater and Amy flees... Anyway, that was when I started on original stuff in universes I could call my own. Thank you for your thoughts on this story, really.rnrnQuickly about Lily though - I don't think it's fair to assume things like that about her. She's reasonable and a hard worker, but even Hermione has a sense of humour. James wasn't hurting anyone, and wasn't referring only to her, plus he was only kidding. *Shrug*
"Your hair is positively thriving today!" I love that line! As for the rest of your fic, it was good, but not great. It wasn't bad though. I agree with paintedbyglamour, it wasn't really believable. Sorry!
Author's Response: No need to apologise, really.rnI'm inclined to agree. Thanks for the honest review, and I'm glad it's a bit of fun.
lol!! i loved it!! i always wondered why he strutted...
Author's Response: Yay! Thank you for reviewing.
I loved this story. It was really funny. I just LOVE maudarer storys. Especially with lily in it. lol
Author's Response: Really? I'm usually so annoyed by peoples' characterisations of Lily.rnThank you for the great positivity. I think I've written more in these review responses than I did in the actual story.