I think your chapter is fantastic! Here's my addition to your reviews section! Have you written anything else?
I love your story! sorry I didn't review early but I just got my "name"
it's really fluffy (especially the ending) and i have some problems with Remus' humungous mood-swing but it's really lovely. Especially the bit with the fire-crackers. There's got to be a whole new story for that. **ponders** eh. I'll think of it later.
A few last points: where you've written "but me and Sirius did." (James talking about he and Sirius - but not Peter - doing research) it's sposed to be "but Sirius and I did." ... at least as far as I can tell.
Your description of Hogwarts as "beautiful" is interesting. I wouldn't have described it as such. Maybe something else - magnificent, maybe (cant really think of any).
I think that's it.
Oh, that was sweet! I loved how you portrayed the emotions.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! :]
*Looks around curiously* Hmm... I think --no, I know!-- that I've read this before. But I just stumbled upon this today and saw that I never reviewed it, so here I am. =)
I love this. Your description is really beautiful, and I'm happy that you didn't bring Lily into it. I mean, I love to read fics about her... And hey, you even beta'd a fic that I wrote with her in it! But I'm glad that you didn't try to squeeze her into this when it was completely about Remus and the Marauders. So anyways... end of rant there, but I loved this line:
“I dunno. Something to make your skin peel and burn?” James shrugged. “Don’t see what the big deal was.”
Haha... so funny! I laughed so hard when I read that. But great job. I love it!
Author's Response: Yay, thanks, Elisabeth! I'm really glad you liked it! :]
Here's one more for your neglected fic. People read this and didn't review? The cads. I'll try to make up for it.
First of all, things I loved: the imagery at the beginning--really descriptive, sets the scene beautifully. And the last sentence. Just...because. It's lovely.
Critiques, because I believe in well-rounded reviews: Remus is really well-characterized, but the other Marauders feel a little weak...they're not really fleshed out. Try to expand on their characters more through their dialogue and interactions with Remus.
Overall, I thought this was a very good story, and I hope this helps to make up for your lack of reviews.
Doctor Phoenix of Ravenclaw, Knight of the Turnip Table
Author's Response: Thanks for the helpful review! Critiques are always welcome, so thanks for that as well! :] Glad you liked it.
Hey, it's phily!
This worked for the first time in a few days so i'm quickly reviewing whilst i can!
I think your writing is fantastic! I especially liked the beginning, the way you set the scene without it being boring,and then subtly got into the story so that it wasn't like an introduction and then the story. Well done! As you know also love the Marauders so i will be reading your other story very soon, and (fingers crossed) be able to review it too!
Author's Response: Yay, thanks for the really nice review, Phily! Glad you liked it! :D
I like the way you have written this, the story flows very well, which I think is good for fics that are set in the past.
You have included a lot of commas which helps to pace the reader, but just be careful of placing them where they are not needed -
he was not at all ordinary, for he, was a werewolf.
The comma after 'he' should not be there.
I was a little surprised that Remus was capable of leaving the Whomping Willow without the aid of Madam Pomfrey, because I imagine the transformation would have been very painful. But I suppose that he could muster the strength when he's at that age, and it's not as if he was all energetic the day after! You dealt with that part of the story very well.
informed of the boy’s lycanthropy upon taking their jobs.
This line doesn't quite work though because other than the DADA teacher, it is very likely that the other teachers already had their jobs when Remus began attending Hogwarts. The sentence would be better if you wrote something like "informed of the boy’s lycanthropy upon his arrival at the school".
This was an enjoyable little ficlet, I like reading stories about the Marauders that really capture their characters.
Author's Response: Ooh, why thank you for your kind review! =] Thanks also for the fixes, I'll change those. Yes, this was an enjoyable fic to write, I really like this one!
Aww...gorgeous writing and characterization.
Author's Response: Thanks ever so much! I do try, hehe :]
Great story! I really liked it! That was funny when Sirius woke them up with fireworks. I think you wrote it really well.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! It's very much appreciated! :]