Very creepy, but Dumbledore says theyres nothing to be feared from the dead so I'll cling to that. Those werewolves though, how come neither Regulus nor Mar were bitten? I've experienced many variations of the name Marie in my time, but Mar was never one of them, I'll add it to my list.
Great story. Absolutely loved it. Too bad they couldnt finish what they started when the wolfs interupted them.
Oh, my goodness! I am totally a Regulus/Marie shipper now! Completely convinced. They definitely belong together. Their chemistry is palpable, I think, and they work so well together! (Not to mention they're sexy, too!)
But I really enjoyed the use of "questionable" means to save their lives. It seemed almost a foreshadowing of Regulus's future, but at the same time, it was explained away so nicely. I love this -- "They were already here." Very nice excuse, and it's true, too. Excellent work here!
Author's Response: Two reviews! Yay!
Girls, this paring is so hot! I just adore Marie and Regulus as a couple. They were clearly meant for each other. I love the way they interact together Ė so playful and teasing. I can feel the electricity between them Ė it's perfect! *giggles* Mar is so proud here, determined to stay angry at Regulus without giving in to his charm, but of course no one can resist him Ė especially not Marie, and especially not when Regulus is " feathering kisses on the back on her neck." *shivers* Just Ö guh. That's amazing. Too bad werewolves had to interrupt them! I suppose you had to do that, though, to be able to post here! And oh, it's so scary. I see why this fic is in the Dark/Angsty category. I was sure that they would be wolf kibble Ė but the incorporation of Samhain is fantastic! (On a side note, I have a feeling that Samhain will be important in the Deathly Hallows.) That chant was eerie, as was your description of the spirits of the dead. Excellent job. And, of course, I still love Marie and Regulus's interaction with each other. Their love for each other is so obvious, even without words. It's just beautiful. I love this fic!
Author's Response: Thanks so much Abi! We are so glad you love the story so much! I knew when I found that chant that we had to use it in the story. It was just too perfect! Thanks for the reviews!!
Bah amateurs.... Careful what ya wish for. FYI if I remember per HBP Regulus was in Syltherin. Dark magic would be par for the course. Still, got to consider....wingardium leviosa (sp?) to levitate a muggle and drop them to their death = dark vs avada kedavra to save one you love = light? Guess the caster must decide and live w' the consequences.
Author's Response: Just because one is in Slytherin doesn't always make one a dark wizard. In this story Regulus isn't a dark wizard, but does know dark magic considering he comes from the Black family. Constructive criticism is appreciated, unfortunately, you just criticized. We are far from amatuers (learn to spell).
Awww, how romantic! *melts*
At least no one died, I had a bad feeling at the start.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
You make Samhain and communicating with the dead out to be evil and dark when it isnt. And asking for spirits to help you when you need it isnt a bad thing either.
Author's Response: We are sorry if we offended you. It was not our intention to portray Samhain as an evil holiday. We did research Samhain before we wrote anything about it. Please check out the author's notes for the websites we used. Everything we found said nothing about Samhain or calling the spirits of the dead or unborn was evil. As Regulus said, the spirits were already there. He simply called them to show themselves. Regulus used the spirits for his own gain. That is why we portrayed the spell he used as darker magic.
I think this story was really good, the atmosphere created was superbly done, with a constant ominous fealing as the story progressed.
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words. We are glad you enjoyed the story! Thanks for taking the time to review!
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words. We are glad you enjoyed the story! Thanks for taking the time to review!
Still, after reading this multiple times, I'm slightly incoherent, so I'll try to proceed as best as I can...
The night was dark as velvet as the two bodies stole out of the front doors.
Amazing opening sentence. The only thing is that I think it sort of conflicts with it being the full moon....werewolves only exist then, you know. But velvet sometimes has a sheen to it, right? Okay, disregard comment then. The simple use of "bodies" instead of "figures" sets the tone for the sexuality to come later. Example of an exquisite word choice. Throughout the story there are parts where things are worded perfectly, and then there are sentences that I think could've been spun a little more intricately, but it's really only fine tuning when all is said and done. Like, in the very next sentence: The young woman pulled her cloak around her tighter. It's just slightly awkward, and I would've maybe gone with something like: "The young woman pulled her cloak tightly around her/around her tightly." The use of tighter or tightly is basically insignificant but I just thought I'd mention it.
I find the use of 'pixie' very intriguing. Good, bad? I really don't know, but I'm exceedingly curious to know why that was chosen. Totally intrigued by that selection of endearment in his mind.
Marie looked over at her boyfriend and glared at him...
This paragraph is pretty in character. I was stuck by the last sentence though. Should I be loathing my inability to keep my mouth shut, or to get too carried away? I'm thinking carried away. Caught up in playing truth or dare, you know. The transition here to a flashback is flawless.
"Ok, Mar, its your turn," Ashley said, grinning devilishly. Needs an apostrophe in the contraction.
And you just couldn't leave Rob alone, could you? That's terrible. I actually don't think I would've dared such a thing. But it made for a great plot-driver. :D
Mar was not one to back down from a challenge. Totally. Mavicks don't back out of dares. There's some time inconsistency in those paragraphs right after the truth or dare scene. "The hours after that passed..." The hours after what? It seems like the girls had been trying to talk me out of it for the full two days, and it just....doesn't exactly fit. But this: She had actually been slightly relieved when Regulus had insisted on accompanying her, though she refused to admit it to his face. Yeah, that is SPOT ON PERFECT!
A playful glance, and then Regulus' serious view of what is going on. I think that is amazing for the dynamic of the story right there. Yes, Marie loves this boyfriend, even though she's annoyed, but he doesn't care because he loves her and knows this is very dangerous. And he IS a Black, member of a house with dark history in its blood. I'll definitely be praising your perfect pegging of this aspect multiple times throughout this review.
Regulus stopped and grabbed her hand, forcing her to face him. His gaze penetrated into her eyes, making her understand the seriousness of this old and most magic of nights. "Samhain is the day that does not exist. The barrier between death and life is gone. The unborn and dead can cross between the worlds. It is not safe to be alone on Samhain."
More amazing characterization of Regulus. He speaks with his eyes more than his mouth, or at least with his words. Then weíve got the amazing aspect of using Samhain. Iíd never even heard of Samhain before this, and itís freaking amazing in this fic. Then thereís the next bit where itís just chilling. How did Regulus just seem to disappear? Thatís really just too spooky. People donít disappear, and you canít Apparate at Hogwarts...so is Regulus just amazingly capable of being stealthy (which is not something that would shock me, but definitely calls to his dark side) or was it the magic of Samhain? Iíll try to cease quoting every line of this story, but the line about my twisted boyfriend: awesome.
The thing is that you show delicate sketches of the intricacies of the Rar relationship. Regulus is protective of Marie. She adores his protectiveness even if she likes to be her own person, because itís just amazingly sweet. He smirks at her because she does a lot of silly things, sheís honest with him. She knows that he can melt her resolve to be angry with his smile, and so she obstinately refuses to look at him. And he knows it too, he expects it.
One Marie characterization mistake: Marie wouldnít swear. She would say, ďBlast.Ē She would only ever say that when sheís in trouble/messed something up.
...her breath catching in her throat.
That pretty much sums up my reaction to the whole scene here. There are hardly words to describe how amazing I thought it was. Erm, Iíll just quote a few parts that made me melt, because thatís really all I did during this section. That and forget to breathe.
Regulus crept up behind her, pressing himself closely against her back.
Instinctively her hand came up to grasp the back of his head, her fingers tangling in his raven black hair.
Regulus grunted as he collided with the rough bark.
He gladly accepted, his hands sliding down her sides and tightly gripping her hips as he pulled her closer. She took possession of what was hers and pressed her body hard against his.
...he roughly gripped her lower back and spun her around.
The next paragraph, the one about the cloaks....it feels so incongruous to the intense snog session, but it makes it all the more real. Yes, thereís heat and intensity and passion there, but itís all founded on their love and trust of each other. And you totally know this, but me biting my lip is entirely too in character.
He paid particular attention to the spot where her shoulder and neck met. He pulled away a little and admired his handy work. Mar was now marked as his own, at least for the next week.
Actually, this, aside from being guh-licious, I wanted to make other comments. This is one of my secret loves: kissing on the neck. Trivia about RL!Mar...her first kiss was actually on her neck. Donít ask me why he kissed me there first, but he did, and even when I think about it today... Anyway, moving on. Sentence two there shows his smug arrogance...itís not a glaring feature of his personality, itís more of a cool confidence, but definitely there. And then sentence three...that I was marked, amusing, but Iím also thinking itís a very pureblood notion - to mark someone as yours. Chills, girls, absolute chills. And um, I promise this review wonít be longer than the actual story.
Again, he uses his eyes to communicate. Lovely. I then love the way that Regulus takes over his role as the protector so wonderfully. And is Marie very good the first few seconds after being scared out of her wits? No. Then the tension and action doesnít die down or go very much overboard. Itís well balanced and paced well. I think that in the moments when I get trapped up until Regulus casts the spell, thereís too much to describe, but how do you cut any of it out? You canít, because itís there and happening, but itís also normal for terror-filled moments like that to just slow down, and so itís still wonderful.
The anger coming from his aura was almost tangible, his protectiveness bringing his magical energy to a peak.
The paragraph that begins there is stunning. It captures the power of magic. Self-magic, and then the dark magic that Regulus calls on. My reaction to him using a dark spell is spot on. I know heís Regulus Black, but to Marie, sheís also just her boyfriend. She sees so much of the good in him that itís always a shock when things like this happen.
The spirits being called forth and then chasing the werewolves away and protecting us is very exciting. Then Regulusí gentle care of Marie is so touching. He carefully frees my leg, he sweetly helps me clasp the robes back together, and then....he just understands me. He knows that he knows dark magic, but he is Regulus Black, and he will do whatever he has to do. Whatever he thinks is right, and if that involves using dark magic, then so be it. Wonderful night, indeed.
Now, am I hightly biased? Yes. But at the end of it all, itís just an amazing story. Youíve got a scary mood set throughout, which is hard to pull off. Thereís a seamless flashback scene. Humor that doesnít bash you over the head, just natural stuff. Amazing characterization - very real and tangible - people can connect with Marie and Regulusís relationship on different levels and with who they are as people. Historical stuff....research for Samhain done. Itís so not a clichť. Intricacies of a relationship between a young couple are beautifully sown, and Regulus is a true Black with his very real dark side. The pacing throughout is wonderful, and the only thing that is lacking is an update.
Gah! I forgot to mention my appreciation for Rob's navy blue boxer shorts *giggles profusely*. And for Mar to write "Rob is a Prat" with the red sparks is jus SO Marie! *adores*
Oh my gosh Girls! You did a fantastic job with this! Everything is perfect from the Truth or Dare game in the Hufflepuff common room *giggles* to the spooky spell.
I particularily LOVE that you researched a little known holiday and it's lore. Not a lot of people go that far for a fic, and it's very impressive. The characterization was spot on, well according to the characterization Marie tells us about herself and Regulus :)
I rather enjoyed the snog. I laughed out loud at "Mar was now marked as his own, at least for the next week." I also really liked the line, "Regulus pulled away from her and smiled lovingly." But partly because I first read it as, "Regulus pulled away from her and sniffed lovingly." Which is obviously wrong, but rather funny. Especially since sniffing each other in AIM is quite common and rather disturbing at times :)
Oh gosh. I could keep going and going. But I think I'll leave it at that for now. Excellent work ladies! *hugs*
LOL. I loved this, it was so... Marie. Absolutely Marie. Deluxe Marie and All That Marie. Yes, sorry, got a bit carried away. Quite wonderful, description fabulous, well in character, though it's sudden change of referring to Mar instead of Marie is kind of... I don't know the word, but it's a bit odd. However, still written brilliantly. More Rar in the world! Hurrah! I'm sure Mar enjoyed it. ;)
well, the story is well written, but not my cup of tea. However if further chapters are written I will follow up and see what is going on.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading.